.
! TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONING AND ATTEMPT OF SUICIDE!
ACT III
CHAPTER XXXVI
Jack Prescott
THANA IS ALREADY sitting at the table with August as Wirt and Felica get out of their rooms in outfits that look the exact same. The victor had heard from Arthur that they would change that, every tribute would be dressed the same, the only difference their district number. Of course, it would be in their size so it would be fitting seamlessly without trouble so their would be no unnecessary friction while training.
"Morning," Thana smiles as gestures for the two to take place, "it will be just us this morning, Latif is still sleeping and the stylist will get here later." Thana smiles at August who raises his glass to drink. "I am willing to answer all your questions, but I will repeat this multiple times to you before you go to training; do not forget the survival stations." The woman smiles swiftly, "I am not saying you have to be there all the time, just try them out."
"As if you did," Wirt sneers and Thana's smile falls, "we never saw you do anything else than your weapons."
"I promise to you that I did do every survival station there was my year," Thana gives a wry smile, trying to push back her anger and memories.
"I don't believe you," Wirt looks at the victor with anger and Thana has to remind herself that he is young and looking in the face of death. That it is not a personal attack, but the stabs he makes reopen the fresh wounds that still linger in every part of Thana's mind and soul.
"You don't have to," Thana smiles at Wirt, "just know that those stations are as, if not more important than those with weapons."
"Will there be a knotting one?" Felica asks out of the blue, the soft voice of the girl surprising Thana as much as the question.
"I do think so yeah," Thana smiles sadly, "there has been one for quite some years." The victor closes her eyes briefly, "you know, I met my ally there." A melancholic smile covers Thana's face as she closes her eyes. "He showed me how to do some difficult knot."
Once the knot is made the boy from eight turns back to Thana, "I am Jack by the way, Jack Prescott."
"Thana Jardin," they shake hands and move towards another station together.
"Jack Prescott, the boy from district 8 was my ally," Thana smiles at her tributes, "I would recommend trying to find allies during the training."
...
A small smile covers Thana's face as she has found the little kitchen on their floor after she pushed Wirt and Felica into the elevator to go to training. Latif is still asleep in his room, August has left and the stylists are not around either. Making it quiet across the floor of district 9. Thana welcomes the silence; she likes to be alone when cooking. There are more than enough ingredients for her to cook, so there is nothing wrong with some practising.
While humming softly to herself, Thana cuts the carrots. The hard sound of the knife hitting the cutting board echoing through the small kitchen. Orange just cut slices of carrot roll over the cutting board and every now and then they are placed inside a bowl. The humming becoming a little harder as Thana changes to another song taught by her mother. The knife getting closer and closer to her finger tops without the girl noticing.
"Thana!" a soft but strong voice calls out to the victor, "Thana Jardin!" the girl in question not looking up, but pausing her carrot cutting. "Look at me," there is desperation in the voice.
"I know I shouldn't have mentioned you," Thana says closing her eyes, "I am so sorry I did."
"Thana, please look at me," Thana feels a ghostly touch on her cheek and slowly her head rises.
"Please, I am sorry," Thana slowly opens her eyes, only to be met by dark brown kind eyes. "I am so sorry that you died, it is all my fault." Thana's knees buckle and she slowly falls to the floor on her knees, knife close to her chest. "It is all my fault; I don't deserve to life. I am so sorry." Sobs come out of the victor's throat. "I am so sorry."
"Shh," the kind brown eyes make sure Thana keeps looking in them, "it is not your fault, you are safe and that is what matters."
"But... But you always scream I killed you," tears stream down Thana's face, "and I did, I am so sorry. I am the reason you are dead." The girl sniffles, "it is all my fault, how can you even talk to me or be nice to me?" Her eyes harden slightly, "this is just an awful nightmare, you are not really here. Go away Jack." Her voice breaks as she says the name.
"Thana," Jack gives the girl an embrace, "I will never blame you, you must know that. Your nightmares lie to you, you know that right? I love you, I rooted for you. I always wanted you or me to win and I am so happy that you got to go home and see your family again."
"I don't want to do this anymore Jack," Thana sobs, "why can't we be together?"
"The world isn't kind to us," the boy smiles sadly at his friend, "but you, my darling. You would've been my maid of honour and I would've been your best man. We would be unstoppable."
"Jack," Thana's voice breaks, and her fingers linger close to the knife, "I want that life."
"Thana, please lay down the knife," a ghostly touch grasps Thana's hands to be linked by Jack's. A soft clatter echoes through the kitchen. "I am here for you, I am always watching over you. I love you." Jack Prescott gives the woman a kiss on her forehead.
"Thana!! Thana!!" the door to the kitchen opens as Latif runs in, "Oh my god, Thana!" the boy is within a second by his sister, he takes her hands in his and closes his eyes briefly. "I thought I lost you," tears stream down his face that match those of Thana. As Latif doesn't get a reaction from his big sister he takes the knife and puts it away before leaving the kitchen only to be back in a minute with a phone in his hand.
"Johanna!!" Latif sighs, "finally, I need you to come."
"What is it little Jardin?" Johanna yawns, "it better be important, you woke me up."
"It is Thana," Latif's voice misses an octave, "you must come. She had a knife, there is no blood. I trust you, you must come." The boy speeds through his words, "please."
Johanna rushes through the kitchen door and gasps as she sees the scene. She is with the Jardins within a second, at the floor with both.
"Latif," Johanna softly touches the boy, "I want you to call Rohan, okay?" the boy nods looking in shock, "tell him that Thana has a code red."
"A code red, okay." Latif nods, taking his eyes of his sister as he looks at the phone.
"Yes," Johanna smiles wryly, "Blight knows I won't be there tonight. I want you to be there for your tributes. Ask Rohan for advice." Johanna looks into Latif's eyes. "I know it will be hard, but do your best. I will take care of Thana, okay?" Johanna smiles sadly as the boy gets off the floor, "I will make sure she will be there to help you tomorrow."
Latif nods one more time, not trusting his voice, before he leaves the kitchen calling to home in hopes of help from Rohan.
"Oh Thana," Johanna wipes away tears from the girl's cheeks, "I am here, it'll be okay."
Nora speaking here!
I am so sorry for this chapter, I had tears steaming down my face while writing it. But I felt I had to write Jack again and cooking is so important to Thana. All at once, the story took its turn this direction. A heart wrenching passage that shows the impact the games have on Thana.
I love writing Jack by the way, through out the whole story so far he is one of my faves.
I love the bluntness and rudeness I can use writing Johanna, the love from papa Jardin, the golden retriever vibe I try to give Finnick. I love writing the hard passages in the every day life that show no matter how much you love your family, not every day is as easy. I love the bond the Jardin sisters have, I love the complexity of the story and all of its characters. And I know this all sounds like an ending note.
But most of all, I love Thana. I love her vulnerability, strength, kindness and every flaw I know she has. Thana truly lives in my mind, in a way no other of my oc does. She occupies my thoughts when I don't have to concentrate, Thana is complex to me and I love how she cares.
I find it a joy to tell her story, a story that has been plaguing me for almost 4 years. Her story has had multiple forms before I landed on this one, all beautiful in their own way <3
-> FUN FACT!
The last name Jardin, garden in French. Is a last name I chose when I looked at a flowerpot in my room that has 'le Jardin' on it. So I tested it out: Thana Jardin. I really liked it and that is how she got Jardin as her last name <3