Yn: Here...
I handed the money to the driver of the taxi that I booked and hurriedly went in his home... A few days ago, I started living with Sol just because I didn't wanted to be troublesome... Me and Yoongi used to talk on calls as he said face times are cringe... But from day before yesterday night I am trying to contact him but he isn't responding to my calls not even Mr Min... So worries took the best of me and not waiting anymore I am here standing infront of his house...
Opening the door with a thud sound using the spare key, I looked around and a frown got stuck on my face...
Yn: Yoongi~ah!
I called him out in this empty house... Everything was gone, a few furnitures were there... On there placed, covered with a white piece of cloth... Tell me this isn't happening!
I ran to his room still having hopes... I cracked the door open... Nothing. There was not even a single belonging of his...
A pang was all my heart felt that moment and unknowingly I shed dozens of tears sitting there... Digging and scratching the door with my nails... Minutes passed but no presense can be noticed and finally my hopes broke... I stood up from there and walked all long to Sol... She was studying in her room as tomorrow our exams are starting while me..? I scoffed at myself and went to my room without making any sound. Hurriedly took a pair of clothes and went to take a shower to freshen up my mood... Maybe I will come back in few days? Or months would also do!
Wearing a comfy outfit I sat on my study table and revised my lesson but not gonna lie my mind couldn't concentrate right now...
Yoongi please just once, just once... pick my call....
TIME SKIP!
I walked out of the school... This big square hat over my head and a black coat wrapped over my body with a paper rolled up and tied in a red ribbon in my hand. Yes, I graduated but it wasn't fun at all... Even tho Sol was there and she took a lot of pictures of us... Someone promised to cheer the loudest during my graduation. Just thinking about that only brought thick tears in my eyes. With a lightening speed, I took of everything and went HOME! Yeah, I know... But they should know about their own daughter's graduation marks. I am a little scared cause yeah, I did not get the highest... I infact wasn't even in the top 3. I came 4rth and I feel like crying thinking about their expression.
I entered the house with my face down while my eyes we're glossy. No, I am not ready to see that disappointed eyes...
BANG!!
Someone just burst a glitter bomb in front of me! And I closed my eyes but opening them almost in seconds... Seeing my parents standing there with a smiley face and a tint of sadness mixed too... I thought it to be for my results...
Yn: D... Dad, I am sorry...
I said looking down and shed my tears...
Mr Shen: No no-
Yn: I know I am a disappointment. I could see the sadness in ur eyes which you ar trying to cover up!
Author's perspective!
They both looked at each other and smiled...
Mrs Shen: I will set the food, you both can have a convo till then, right?
She said went to the kitchen living you and your dad... Instead of doing anything, he cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears...
Mr Shen: No yn! I am sorry... Don't cut me off and listen..
He took a deep breath and spoke...
Mr Shen: I am a bad dad.. I always thought I was the best and what I am doing is the best for you but no, it wasn't... Best for you was love, was easiness, was comfort, was understanding which I now know I couldn't give you... I didn't knew when my child cried. I didn't knew anything she went through just because I was being selfish... I.. I'm...
His breath became heavy and voice started to crack when I stopped him by hugging him... Sobbing lightly...
Yn: It's not fine dad... I know, I should forgive you but it's not that easy to just forgot about the pressure you gave on me... It hurted alot and I cried... I thought you are cruel and I still do... You would have to make it up...
I nodded aggressively...
Mr Shen: I understand... Now let's just not make these beautiful day emotional and have our dinner, what say kiddo?
I smiled and gave him a nod...
2 YEARS LATER!
My life completely changed after the incident happened a few years ago... I got in a good terms with my parents and got an admission in a good college... My life was all good and I was going to graduate the next year... Trust me I would have said that it's perfect but it's not... I want him to make it perfect but now I have lost all my hopes to see him again... A weird scary theme in my mind... Was he just using me? Or playing with me? My mind says a brief yes but my heart is opposite. Maybe because it's too sensitive to admit it... Well, he won't come now... My college is in Seol so I came here for my further studies... Living in a rented apartment... Right now, I am sitting near the han river... When my phone buzzed making me look at it... It was my mom...
Yn: Eomma..
Mrs Shen: Yn... Did you eat daughter?
Yn: Hmm...
I could sense she was happy while talking, probably excited for my birthday which will be here in 20 mins or so!
Mrs Shen: Yn~ahh, you aren't upset right? Because we can't be there? We had our tickets booked, it's just that your dad is really sick...
Yn: Eommmaaa... I told you it's fine...
Lie.
Mrs Shen: Sure?
Yn: Yes!
Lie.
Mrs Shen: That's a relief...
Yn: Yes, I will see you later eomma...
Mrs Shen: Okk, good night...
With that I hung up and went back home...
In my way, flashbacks hover over me and I felt urge to visit that abandoned house of his. Like me. But I was too far from the place in order to grant my wish. Those happy giggles, I want to feel them, I want to go back to Daegu, in that house. I sighed at my stubborn self but I can't do anything, no one but I can gift myself a small gift for surviving this year can't I? Without thinking twice I ran back to the airport I ran back to the airport that I walked past a moment ago.
Yn: Any flight left to Daegu?
I asked while panting and catching my breathe...
Receptionist: Let me take a look! ........ Yes, there is one in 25 minutes but it ran late so I guess it will more than 30 minutes...
I thanked God internally and got myself a ticket, air transportation is expensive. I lost all my finance in order to visit my hometown. I don't think I am going to tell this to my parents and more of all I will return back here in 1 week...
TIME SKIP!
It's 2 in the morning of my birthday and here I am getting soaked up in rain on the silent streets of Daegu.. Min Yoongi, I swear to God if If I have never met you I could have been the happiest person of the universe...
A smile crept on my face when I saw my home's home. But soon it faded when I saw the lights on of the kitchen. I couldn't control my tears when the thought of seeing him again flood in my mind... My knees started shaking as I rang the bell with trembling hands.. And after good 2 minutes, a young girl in her 30s but older then me opened the door with sleepy eyes but when she saw me her eyes widen..
??: Oh my, who are you? Why are you crying? What you are doing in rain? At this night? What's your name and who are you looking for?
I met her the first time but felt like I know her well through her kind and concern gestures. Still, Ignoring all her question, I asked...
Yn: Is M.. Mr Min and his son here?
Her expression changed and saddened abit making me noxious...
??: Mr Min is no more... And as per his son, he is here...
Hearing about Mr Min, I froze and shed silent tears while the lady just absorbed me...
Yn: Who who are you?
??: I.. I am his son's wife...
That made me doubt what I heard...
Yn: Y.. You are.. W.. What?
??: His...... Wife?
Not believing anything around me I took my steps backword slowly while looking at her with wide eyes... I slipped and fell but then eventually stand up still looking at her while thick tears rushed down my cheeks... No no no no no! This isn't true right? Please tell me!!!!! Thoughts like shits took up in my mind and that's when.... A man came with a baby boy in his hand asking..
?? Who is there Won-hi?
Ena: Oh, there is this girl-
Yoongi: Yn?
I lost it here! I thought to fight for him but I can't be that selfish to destroy such a happy family... I quickly turned around and ran with all speed and reach to the railway line sitting on a seat zoning out. The train still hasn't moved an inch from past 13 minutes but still I got no signs that someone followed me. I guess I am stupid to hope for so! This life is not good, it's partial. I don't wanna live this but I don't wanna quit this too. I lost it. And the rain witnessed... I hope no one ever have this birthday in their entire lifetime.
3 YEARS LATER!
Yn: Eommmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
Mrs Shen: Oh shut up you brat!!!!! I don't know for how many years I am going to iron your clothes!!!!
Yn: Eh! Your so mean!
Mr Shen: Yn all the best for you first day my girl, fighting!
I smiled at both of my parents. Today was my first day in the Daegu Hospital,Green Health! I am now a side surgeon and still needs to work for promotion but more of all, I am kinda close to my dream job. I little hardwork and boom!! For bbye, the trauma I was caught into years ago is still somewhere in my mind and heart but I don't let it overcome and bound my happiness after all I deserve to be happy too don't I?
I won't say like movies that I have moved on and all, there is nothing like move on. Once you loved someone you can't just take that and give it to other. If it was that easy then Shajahan would never have created Taj Mahal, you know!
Right now, I am going to my work place! This is my first day so I really need to have an impression on them...
Entering the main surgeon's room whom I am going to assist this month, I bowed for over 90° and wished cheerfully...
Yn: Good morning sir! I am your new assistant surgeon for this month, hope we can get along!
He closed the file that he was checking upon and looked up to me! Making me fell into a deep shock!
Yn: Tae?
Taehyung: Yn?
I gulped down the memories and shock...
Yn: H.. Hey! Pretty long!
He gave me a warm smile and nodded...
Taehyung: Welcome Ms Shen! I hope we work well!
I lightly smiled... And he giggled...
Taehyung: Ynahh~ How have you been? I never got to see anyone of you in these past 5 years...
I again gave him a smile and noticed that he has grown mature... That boxy smile is barely seen. Not because it's no more but because he dont really show it now... His way of talking and the way he rolled up his sleeved and also when he set his hair well... He got more manly...
Yn: Unfortunately, I never saw anyone too...
I bet he was perplexed by the thing that I was not in contact with Yoongi...
Taehyung: Oh..
Yn: But...
I debated in my mind whether I should tell him or not and at last decided to just go for it...
Yn: I saw him 3 years ago, he was married...
His expression was same if I keep three big oranges in a plate... His eyes out of his socket and his jaw was hung low!
3 WEEKS LATER!
This three weeks have been finally something peaceful in this entire 5 years. The thing I should highlight is, yesterday Taehyung confessed me that he wants to give "us" a try.. I haven't answered him yet. Right now I am getting ready to go to basketball teams reunion party of school, no I was never a part of it but Taehyung was and he insisted me to accompany him...
Fun fact that Yoongi was also a member of a random team. I don't expect him to be there, I know my limits... But still... I can't help but to wander that what if he comes?
A knock on the door drives my back to my senses and I assumed it to be Taehyung... I took my bag and ran up to the living room to open the door and greet him...
Yn: Hi Taehyung!
He didn't responded and just checked me out from top to bottom. The thought of Yoongi checking me out on the night we were together cross my mind and I hate my mind for that. My mind can't think of someone else but him. Finally he gave me a sweet smile...
Taehyung: You look drop dead gorgeous!
I grinned widely at his compliment and linked my arms around his waist, slightly hugging him.
Yn: I was just trying to copy you, it seems like it worked!
We both laugh at my not so rare flirt line and made our way to the party...
As we entered through the gate that had a star curtain that made a tinkle sound when moving, I found myself not around so much people. I thought the place is gonna be full but there were hardly 30 people... I guess few teams are only invited which were close to each other... As I rolled my eyes observing the place I saw 3-4 groups of people standing in different circles, some were having their drinks and some were busy with the big screen playing their old match memories! Purple- blueish light was dangling in ever corner of the party with a pink spotlight pondering around some good looking men!
Taehyung: Yn, you wanna join me and my friends...?
Yn: Umm... Nah, I will just join you after few drinks, you can have your time...
He pat my head while keeping a small smile..
Taehyung: Stay away from creepy guys! Take care ok? And also come fast, I would be near the karaoke...
Yn: Ok..
I pinched his cheeks and turned leaving...
Yn: One beer please!
Bartender: Wait for your drink mam, it will be available in a minute or so...
I just gave him a small nod while my eyes again roamed about the place just to stop on a person............. once my eyes fell on him, I don't think I can be more shocked!
If only, if only... someone could come from behind and say " We got you! "... Please, but no one... He is there... Yoongi~ah!
But... It's not like him... He used to be dressed up like a biker bad boy... I don't see him in there... He look so pale... A simple blue Tee, messy white hair. Something has definitely happened but whatever that must be I don't think I am that nice to go and hug him, cry in his arms even if it's the first thing I want to do... But before I could notice, thick tears are already striking down my cheeks...
I just have missed him so much to let of my eyes of him... I continuously was staring at him, how much I want to run to him... Ask him, question him? But I can't... Wiping off my cheeks... I just pick up my drink that just came and sipped on it, still boring my eyes on his figure, he was lost somewhere to notice my stares!
Taehyung: Yn!
Yn: Uh, yes?
He held my hands softly and dragged me to the centre, grabbing a mic!
Taehyung: Ladies and Gentlemen, attention please...
And now, I am not that dumb to not understand what is going to happen! Well, his deep, horse voice grabbed almost everyone's attention leaving the one who were wasted!
I looked over Yoongi only to see him eyeing us with his dull tired but scary glare while slowly swinging his glass of wine so I hurriedly brought my gaze to Taehyung again where he was already on his knees with a rose...
Taehyung- Be mine...
I looked over my shoulder to eye him again and he didn't seem to be affected by what was happening around him. It somehow made me look like a fool in order to not get over him in all these years, and now it gets me furious enough to take stupid decisions....
I gave a fake smile to Taehyung
Yn: Let's just give it a try!
Those words left my mouth and that smile painted on his face made me regret it... I gave me a long peck that seriously took me off guard but I instantly jerked my head to Yoongi to see if he protested... He had his eyes closed...
Like hiding something with me that were hidden in those terrified and lonely orbs when a tiny tear rolled down to his glossy skin... An instant regret and sorrow ran through me when I saw his state, how did I not noticed before that he is a mess?
Much is running through my mind, I am on my bed and it's currently 11.37 in the morning. I never expected him to show up like this, last night before I could even to talk to him, he vanished. I had a lot of questions in my mind but no answer to them. Who was that lady that opened the door on that rainy night? Why she called him his husband? Why did he cried when he already had a wife? What happened to him to appear so miserable, this is all unsubtle!
Deep in my thoughts and that's when my phone rang. It was Taehyung. I lazily dragged my fingers and picked up the call getting answered by his cheerful good morning. This man is a topping of my regrets!.
Yn: Morning Tae...
Taehyung: I am waiting for you to come to office, wont you come?
Yn: I don't wish to, can I take a leave?
Taehyung: This is the first day of us, I want us to be together today, please come!
I took a deep sigh and then made my mind...
Yn: Fine I will be there...
I wore a outfit that is not too formal but today I am not in any mood to get dolled up! It was a simple while t shirt that was topped with a black one and matching pants..
As I entered Taehyung's office, I couldn't be more shocked... Instant glossiness took over my eyes and I just unknowing let the word departure from my lips!
Yn: Yoongi...
He eyed me with a gaze that I can never understand and gave me a small smile.
Yoongi: Hi...
I jerked my head towards Taehyung where he was nervous, probably because he knows how I loved Yoongi. But instead passed me a small smile too before saying...
Taehyung: He came here for job interview as a receptionist but happened to bump with me when I was bringing some breakfast for both of us... I invited him in and made him stay. Thought that you would love to meet him.
I just gave him a small, understanding him and also appreciating his gentle behaviour. Even if he was insecure he just thought to make me happy. Thinking this, a small smile took over my lips.
Yoongi: I think I shall go..
Taehyung: But you just came...
Yoongi: Please...
I can see that he is getting suffocated in here...
Taehyung agreed and bid him goodbye. Yoongi crossed by me when I notice the dullness in his eyes... It's disturbing from last night... As he exited I released a sigh...
Taehyung: You probably know why I am insecure, but don't worry I won't stop you. Go talk to him... You need answers.
#TO BE CONTINUED