"Do you want me to go in with you?" Ranpo asked, me as I was hesitantly following him to the office.
I stopped in front of the door. The man turned around to face me, his green eyes appeared dimly underneath his eyelids. I knew he could see right through me with those green eyes. They saw through many murders facades, it couldn't be that hard to see through an anxious teenager. He paused, yet seemed to come to a conclusion after a moment of thought. He sighed, "Tell you what, ill tell him what happened and give him a briefing about what happened, and then you can explain any gaps, okay?"
I nodded, I couldn't find it in myself to speak as I felt my stomach churn. We walked into the office, Ranpo didn't bother to knock or announce his presence before entering. Ranpo was much less formal with the president than other agency members.
Mr. Fukuzawa was working on paperwork, which I feel is all he does in here, but it would make sense since this was an office. He looked up, confused at the fact that Ranpo and I were still here instead of on our case. "Ranpo, Y/n? Is something wrong? You remembered the file this time right?"
"No, its about something else actually," Ranpo said, "Do you wanna be here or step out for this?"
"No, it's fine he might want to ask me some questions about it."
Mr. Fukazawa looked suspiciously between furrowing his brows. "I'm open to listening to whatever either of you has to say, please sit." He gestured to the couch in front of the desk. He walked out from behind the desk and sat on the couch opposite me and Ranpo. As Ranpo began explaining the previous night, Mr. Fukuzawa's brows furrowed. The further he got into the explanation, the more distraught Mr. Fukuzawa looked, and the more the sinking feeling in my stomach felt. Anytime I think about it a wave of nausea hits me. I know I'm safe, I know I'm not with the man, I know I can't smell his breath. Yet, I feel the nausea win, the sinking feeling hitting the bottom and I stood abruptly, hand on my mouth. "Dazai found her with-" I rushed to the side of the desk on which the garbage can is on. I fell to my knees and clutched onto the sides of the can as I emptied my insides into it. I felt part of my stomach acid burning my throat.
Why was I like this?
I knew he wasn't here, I know he can't get to me here or with the agency.
I thought I was smarter than this.
I'm not just some dumb kid, I swear.
But I still smell his sickening warm breath.
The older man was by my side on the floor, while the young detective stood behind him. " Y/n are you alright?"
I looked away, I couldn't face him. Shame was all I felt. "I'm sorry, I should be able to tell you about it myself,"
"It's okay, I understand children can be cruel, it's not your fault," he reassured me, he clearly was missing the main point of all of this.
"That's not the point, I'm a sinner now, everything is dirty, I'm DIRTY." He looked more confused.
"We can wash the dress and it'll be as good as new, and-"
"It's Not About The Dress!" I snapped. I took some labored breaths. "...I'm sorry, it's just.... everyone's saying it's not my fault.... but it is."
"Why do you think it's your fault?" He asked.
"Because I was in control but I let myself hand it over to him, and I messed everything up... it's just what I do. It's not fair to act like I couldn't do anything and then let everyone else pick up the pieces. Even if I'm forgiven, I'm still a sinner." I was gasping and wheezing to catch a breath as the tears cascaded down my face. "I'm just... I'm sorry"
"It's okay," the man pulled me into his chest. "I'm not mad at you."
"I'm sorry, I-I'm, I'm sorry *hic*" I grabbed onto the man's Yukata and hid my face in the material. "I didn't mean to..."
"It's okay I know you never meant for this to happen," he brushed his fingers through my hair, and sometimes he stopped to detangle knots. I calmed down and lifted myself to face him. I looked to see a wet spot of my tears and snot staining the fabric.
"Sorry about your clothes," he didn't seem bothered by them.
"It's alright they can be washed." He held me by my shoulders. "Do you feel better now?"
"yeah, talking about it helped, even if it's just a little," I said wiping all the leftover tears from my eyes.
"Now that you are all good, I think you have a question to ask our dear president here," Ranpo said.
"Right, ok um, so this might sound really weird but, can you please pretend to be my guardian and help me talk to my principal?"
"Of course but I just want to know, Why can't either of your actual guardians make it?"
"Papas out of town and Mother kinda shipped me off to Japan for this exact reason,"
"You got into fights in your old school?"
"No, I kept to myself so I didn't interact that often unless I already knew someone. Since I didn't know many people I was quiet. Teachers picked up on it but so did the other students too. Most of my conflicts were considered so they didn't really matter."
"Alright, I'll help you deal with this on Monday, until then I want to see you and Ranpo out there getting cases done." He said.
"As long as they aren't boring!" Ranpo said
"We're on it Mr. Fukuzawa," I said. I grabbed the investigation bag with the file in it, and Ranpo and I set out for another case.