Game on! (Edser One Shots or Fun Shots)

The Trouble with Babies

The credit for this OS goes to a suggestion from @DaleenAbusaad - I may have married in a bit of the cancer topic too. Hopefully I did credit to your thoughts.

This isn't very fluffy, the next one will by much lighter - promise but I was cranky post time change and this fit my mood.

A special Thank You to @Kristin828677 for reminding me that Post-Partum Depression is a serios condition. A chemical imbalance rather than something a woman can control. The below link from the CDC provides good information! Thank you again Kristin!

https://www.cdc.gov/hearher/partners-friends-family/index.html?s_cid=DRH_Hear_Her_SearchOY1_Support_Emotional_Main

Mature scenes between the **** for those who want to skip them!

And before I forget a big THANK YOU for all the suggestions - have a list and am checking them off! 

******************************************************************

"I can't do it Melo, what if he doesn't want the baby? We already know that he doesn't want me," stressed Eda.

Sometimes she just wanted to shake Eda, she was so damned stubborn but then so was Serkan, "Dada, I've been in the office every day since you've left. Do you know that he just came back a week ago? A week. If he was so over you and so ready to be back to work like you said why wasn't he there?"

"Melo, I only came home to visit you and hala after graduation, I didn't really plan on staying here. I don't think I can just show up on Serkan's doorstep looking like this," Eda swept her hand over her very obvious baby bump.

She sat back, time for some hard truths for her best friend, "Aren't you the EXACT same girl who tried to run away when she thought that Selin was pregnant? . . . . . . Let me think, why was that? Oh right, because you didn't want to deprive a child of their parents because you grew up without them. You were going to leave Serkan to raise a child with a woman he didn't love because you wouldn't deprive that child. But it's okay to deprive him of this one? Why?"

Eda sat back down, "It's not the same thing Melo."

"Really Dada? Because from where I'm sitting it's worse. You love Serkan and regardless of what happened we all know he loves you but you've been hiding your pregnancy for five months. You want to deprive him of his child but you were going to make him raise one that wasn't even his with Selin? Someone he didn't love? You're right, it isn't the same thing. I'm right it is worse."

"He said we're over, he didn't want anything to do with me, you don't understand."

Melo pretended to think, she already knew the answer to the question but she asked it again, "Just how hard did you try to talk to him once you had it confirmed? You went to talk to him in person? You called him at work over and over? E-mail? Oh wait, no, you called once, when he didn't answer you sent one text. When he responded that you were over you just took him at face value and went on your merry way. Is that the part I didn't understand?"

"I was afraid Melo. What if he didn't want the baby?"

"Then at least you told him. At least he knew he was going to have a child with you. He couldn't force you to get rid of the baby. You had a say in the matter too so don't try that weak argument. You could have told him before you left, you knew you were pregnant. Just because you had it confirmed in Italy didn't mean that you didn't know you were pregnant here in Istanbul. You can lie to yourself all day long just don't try to lie to me."

Eda tried to get Melo to see it from her point of view but even saying it out loud she knew it was weak, "All he wanted to do was work. He was going back to work and things had changed and we had grown apart. He didn't want to work in the same room with me anymore. We fought constantly. He forgot about me."

"You're right, you told me he was going back to work, he had forgotten about you. So that's why he only managed to come back to work last week. I haven't seen the man in almost four months and he looks like hell. He doesn't look like someone who's over you. He looks like someone who is barely hanging on. He's probably lost at least thirty pound since I last saw him. Why don't you ask Aydan hanim about the nightmares that he has? They're all about you. Oh wait, shame on me, I talk to Seyfi and Aydan hanim too. Why? because they're my friends. Do you talk to them? I don't think so, you cut them off too. I just think it's an excuse because you ran instead of acting like an adult."

It was an excuse and she knew it but Eda couldn't take the rejection from Serkan, she had fought so hard for him and then he turned on her, she didn't know why but then she had never asked either. She knew him, she knew something was eating him up but she left him and let him get eaten by his misery.

Eda changed her tactics, "My great love? He couldn't even be bothered to come to my graduation."

"He was there, both Ayfer and I saw him. He asked me not to say anything and of course Ayfer would never say anything, she hates him and will never give him credit for anything positive. When I saw him in the office on Monday he asked if I kept my promise, I told him I had. I tried to get him to talk to you but he said it was better you didn't see him, you were better off without him."

Eda tilted her chin aggressively at Melo, "He's right, I am better off without him."

Melo got up, she never lost her temper but today might just be a first, "I don't even know you. This mean person who is hiding a child from someone she supposedly loves endlessly isn't my best friend. Have a nice visit with Ayfer Eda, she's just as bitter and petty as you are right now. Enjoy Italy, enjoy your life."

"Melo!"

"What? You had a fight and you left. He said he didn't want kids, did you ask why? Did you ever think that there was a reason? No! You were stubborn, hormonal and left in a huff instead of cooling off and talking like adults. I'm not giving him any slack, he was a jerk too. But you know what? I've never been on the brink of death fighting cancer, I don't know what was going through his head. Maybe he really isn't cured did you ever think of that? Did you ever think that maybe he sent you away so you didn't have to watch him die?" she slammed out of the room.

Now that Melo had said it out loud it made so much sense to her. She knew her eniste loved Eda deeply and there had to be a reason why he sent her away. Melo needed to talk to Serkan, she loved him like a brother and wanted to help these two idiots figure things out. She called a cab and left the house before Eda had a chance to continue talking to her.

Eda sat back down on her bed. Could it be possible? Could Serkan still be sick? But the doctor had told them the cancer was gone, but why did Serkan still go to see the doctor? Had he made a mistake? Did Serkan send her away because he wanted to fight the cancer alone, he didn't want her to see him die? The tears that were always there when she thought of being without him overwhelmed her. Melo was right, he had a right to know about his daughter. If he chose not to be involved she had to be ready for it but he had to make that decision on his own. Eda wasn't strong enough to do it today, tomorrow though she would talk to him. Tonight she would pray that the world wouldn't be so cruel as to steal the one man that she truly and deeply loved.

The taxi let Melo off at the Bolat farm. She hadn't called to announce herself she didn't need Serkan telling her not to come. Melo walked over to the annex and saw him sitting on the patio staring off into the distance, his eyes unfocused. Serkan's hands were the only sign of his level of agitation, they were constantly moving, restless.

"Eniste? If you have a few minutes could I talk to you about a problem?"

Serkan was startled, he hadn't heard Melo approaching, "Melek, what's the problem? How can I help you?"

Melo loved how he always called her Melek, "I actually wanted to talk about you. I'm worried about you. Until the graduation ceremony I hadn't seen you in months. You don't look good, you know that. I'm your sister and I care about you, I care about what happens to you. Would you tell me if the cancer was back?"

He smiled sadly at her, "You've always been better to me that I deserve Melek. No, the cancer isn't back, at least not now but it doesn't mean that it won't come back. The disease has stripped me of everything that I ever wanted in life and caused me to make hard choices that I regret but were necessary," he gave a little shrug, "Sometimes those decisions are harder to live with than the cancer was."

She sat next to him and put her arm around his shoulder and drew him into a hug, "You love Eda and you sent her away on purpose didn't you? And it's eating you alive."

If Melo hadn't been paying attention she wouldn't have felt his small nod, "Eniste, you can't live like this. You shouldn't have sent her away. It was her decision to be with you cancer or no cancer. You have to stop trying to control everything. It doesn't work that way."

"Eda needs to be able to live her life free and away from me. I can't tie her to me and make her waste her life and career tied to a dying man. She was meant for better things. Eda will find someone new to love and move forward and be happy."

Melo sat back and rolled her eyes, give her strength she thought, "You really are an idiot do you know that? Eda wants no one else but you. You could put her in a room with one hundred eligible bachelors each more handsome and accomplished than the next and she would pick you every single time. One day with you is better than a lifetime without you, don't you know that? As deep as your love for her is the same goes for her love for you. If the situation was reversed would you leave her? I remember when she told you to leave you still didn't, you just don't quit on her. Why did you make her quit on you?"

"Because I can't give her what we've wanted. I can't give her a long life together. The doctor says that I have a seventy percent chance of the cancer returning within five years and that I can't have children. Eda doesn't need a broken man, she needs someone who is whole."

She interrupted him, "So you decided to lock yourself away here and torture yourself to death? Is that what you've been doing? I know you're working but until last week I hadn't seen you in months. I know it wasn't the cancer that made you lose all this weight it was heartbreak, admit it."

Serkan was a little irritated with Melo, "Yes, I miss her like crazy and it's my own damned fault but I refuse to make her live a life of misery."

Melo nodded, "I get it, so you will take all the misery and heap it on yourself. Makes sense. The two of you are idiots, you really are. I think I need to wash my hands of both of you," she got up from the sofa to leave.

"Eda is alright isn't she? When I saw her at the ceremony she looked happy. She wasn't missing me at all. You forget I saw her Melek."

"I know you saw her because you couldn't stay away but you also didn't hear her crying that night upset because you didn't come. She thought that you would come and she thinks that you didn't. Eda didn't care if Ayfer or I were there, the only person she wanted there was you Serkan, you big dope. I'll see you in the office on Thursday, I know you work from home tomorrow. And maybe eat something? You look like hell."

Serkan watched as Melo left and walked back to the parking area. He missed Eda so damned much but he had damaged their relationship beyond repair this time. She had called him exactly one time and texted him exactly one time. He told her that they were done and couldn't prolong the relationship. He had to stop being selfish, Eda needed to live her life free of him. She was so talented and full of love, she needed to live that life. He never wanted her to get to a point where she would be with him out of pity and that was where they were headed if she stayed. It was better this way. He could live alone with her memories and photographs and she could love someone who wasn't broken.

He walked over to the river. Serkan knew if the cancer came back he would die. He knew that when he died his last thoughts would be of Eda and of the incredible gift that he had gotten being able to live with her and love her for the short time that they had. When the cancer came back, he wouldn't fight it, he wouldn't do chemo again, he would go quickly. Say his goodbyes and let the disease progress. Going to Eda's graduation was the last purely selfish thing he did for himself. He had to see her reach her goal. Serkan had to see her sweet smile one more time. Melo didn't notice all the photographs that he took but they were his prized possessions, his last little pieces of Eda before he said goodbye.

Maybe someday she would think of him and smile or maybe she would always hate him and think of her time with him as time wasted. For him though, she would always be a gift.

Melo got back to the house and climbed the stairs to her room. She had held her tears for Serkan in the whole ride back, she didn't want the taxi driver to see her sobbing in the back of the car. Melo sat on her bed and cried for all he was trying to go through alone. Yes he was an idiot but now she understood why he was doing things. It was so damned sad. He was preparing himself to die alone. Well since Eda couldn't be bothered she would make sure that he knew he was loved if that damned disease came back.

Eda came down the stairs and stopped by Melo's door, she heard the sobbing on the other side, "Melo? Are you okay? Can I come in?"

"No I'm not fine and no you may not come in. I haven't changed my mind from earlier, go back to Italy, take your selfishness back there and live your life. I'm sure you'll find some other man to fall in love with you. Everything will be just fine for you Eda."

She felt as though Melo had slapped her. Where was this anger coming from? "Melo, you're right. I'm going to go talk to Serkan tomorrow. He has a right to know about his daughter. If he wants to be a father we can talk about custody. . . . . . " Eda flinched as something glass shattered against the wall.

"Go away Eda. Take yourself and your baby and go away." When had Eda become so awful? Was it because of the time she had been spending with Ayfer? All the woman did was harp about what an awful person Serkan was and what he didn't deserve.

Eda tried the doorknob, it wasn't even locked, "Melo, what are you doing? Why are you being so ugly to me?"

Melo just looked back at her through puffy eyes, "That man loves you more than life and you coldly tell me you can talk about custody. Go ahead and talk about custody Eda. Talk about your cold arrangement that you and Ayfer have plotted and planned. I want no part of the two of you. After all he did for Ayfer she still kicks him when he's down. I can't live here anymore."

"What do you mean all Serkan has done for hala? And where will you go?"

"How do you think that Ayfer got her business in the black? When you were working for Efe he found out that she was struggling so he sent several large contracts her way. Idil hanim does all her work through Ayfer."

Eda laughed, "No Melo you're confused, Efe got her that contract."

Melo just stared at her, "Why don't you ask Fifi, she knows the truth. Efe took credit for it but it was Serkan. Ayfer knows it, Fifi was there when Idil hanim's representative came to do the initial meeting. She wasn't the only landscaper that he sent there. Little things that he did for her that she shows no gratitude for. You just keep listening to her Eda. The two of you are just alike. The money that he paid you for the ArtLife shares? Why don't you ask Ceren who still owns them?"

"But she said he'd buy them. . . . . "

"And you signed papers transferring the shares? Sure you did Eda. Or did you consider that your payment for taking care of him when he was going through chemo? You got ten million dollars, kept your shares, got a baby and he still has a death sentence. But sure, be a good little Ayfer clone and talk to him about custody. I swear, I don't think that you ever loved him. A woman who loved someone wouldn't throw him away as easily as you did."

Eda's legs gave out and she collapsed in Melo's chair, "Did you go talk to Serkan? Is he still sick Melo? Please tell me."

"Go back to Italy Eda and leave him be. He has people here who truly love him and will take care of him. Comfort yourself knowing how hard you tried to talk to him with your one phone call and one text. Yeah, you really tried hard, please leave," Melo left the room to go get a broom and dustpan to clean up the glass shattered in her room. It rather felt like her heart. Ayfer had made Eda cold, the bitterness of the woman had seeped into Eda.

She stumbled back upstairs and sat on her bed. Melo never lied to her so if she said that Ayfer's business was booming thanks to Serkan it was true. She had been listening to her for the past three days go on about how Serkan didn't deserve to know about the baby, he didn't want the baby, he didn't want Eda. Ayfer told her how cruel Serkan had been but he hadn't been. He was scared.

Eda should have known, she knew him better than anyone, at least she used to, now it seemed that Melo knew him better. Melo was a better person than she was. Ayfer's negativity didn't color her sunny mood, no she saw right through that. Had she left it too late?

She hadn't tried. One call sent to voicemail and one text and she gave up. Eda sat and thought about all the times that Serkan didn't give up on her. He kept coming back time and time again. Even when he lost his temper with the chemo he felt so awful afterwards, he tried hard to keep his fear in check. She should have known that there was something else, she should have known that his behavior was a fear based reaction.

She sat on the balcony covered in a blanket watching the stars. Eda didn't know how long she had been there but she knew she couldn't sit still another moment. She went to her room, washed her face and brushed her teeth before changing into a sweater and leggings and headed to call a taxi. Eda didn't know what she was going to say but she knew she couldn't let his fear overtake them. This was too important, their future together was too important.

It was close to midnight when Eda stepped out of the taxi and headed to the annex apartment, it was so still out. A low woof sounded in front of her and Sirius came bounding to greet her, Eda dropped to her knees to give the big dog some love, 'are you watching him son?'. A few more pats and Eda headed towards the living area, a small lamp was left on behind the sofa as Eda let herself in. It was unusual for Serkan to have turned in so early.

Eda headed toward the bedroom when she heard the low anguished cries, "Eda, no, please, Eda don't leave me, I'm sorry, please stay, I didn't mean it. She's gone anne, she's gone, leave me, I just want to die, she's gone."

She hurried to the side of the bed, the light from the bathroom casting shadows on his gaunt features. Melo had said that Serkan had lost weight, he was so much thinner than when she left. Eda sat next to him on the bed and stroked his face, "I didn't leave you Serkan, I came back. Please don't send me away again."

Over and over she stroked his face and repeated the soothing words, not just for him but for her as well, she had missed him so terribly. He had been punishing himself for sending her away and she had been punishing him by not telling him about the baby. Melo was right, she tried to leave him before when she was convinced that Selin was having his baby. She didn't even give him the same chance.

Serkan calmed at her words, his breathing evened out. His eyelids fluttered open, Serkan gave a little snort, now he was having full sized hallucinations about Eda. It wasn't bad enough that he had nightmares about sending her away but now he was dreaming that she was there to comfort him. Maybe his dreams would let him hold her and tell her he loved her. Only in his dreams could he get a second chance with her.

Eda watched his sleepy eyes, she knew he wasn't awake so she continued to stroke his face, she loved his beard on her palm. "I love you so very much Eda. I'm sorry I sent you away."

"I shouldn't have left, it was an argument and I should have fought back. You were coming from a place of fear and I should have known. My love we have to fix this."

Serkan liked this dream, Eda talked to him, maybe he could talk to her in his dreams, "I only get to talk to you in my dreams. I don't want to wake up. Here in my dreams maybe you still love me."

Eda gave a little chuckle, "You could wake up. I'm still going to love you. I'm sitting on your bed after all," she leaned forward to place a soft kiss on his lips capturing his groan against hers.

He dove his fingers into her hair and pulled her closer deepening the kiss. Serkan realized that this was too real to be a dream. He slowly released her hair but Eda continued to kiss him. She felt him finally wake from his sleep, Eda didn't want to but she slowly broke the kiss. She had missed his kisses so much.

"You're here? Eda? You're not a dream?" Serkan blinked up at her.

"Not a dream and yes I'm here. We have to talk Serkan and I couldn't wait to see you any longer. If you want me to leave and come back in the morning I will."

Serkan sat pushing himself up in bed, "Eda why are you here. You were in Italy. You have a life there."

"I don't have a life there. I went to school. There's a difference, the life I had was here with you until we started fighting. I was too wrapped up in my head and didn't sit back and try to figure out why you were pushing me away and I should have done that. I know you. I know all your moods and all the buttons that you push and you hit every one of them and I let you."

"You talked to Melo . . . . . "

"Bah, Melo won't talk to me. I tried to get her to talk to me earlier but she wouldn't. Her loyalty is with you not me anymore. I'll leave and come back in the morning but I wanted you to know that I will come back in the morning and we will talk. No more of this nonsense that the relationship had run its course, we both know that's a lie."

His will to push her away fled seeing the fierce look in her eyes, "Stay, don't go home. Stay. I can sleep on the sofa. It won't be the first time."

It was now or never she told herself, "Serkan, when I called you after I got to Italy there was a reason a very important reason. Don't ask me to stay until you hear me out."

Serkan didn't know that he wanted to hear this so he said nothing.

"That last fight? At your mother's dinner? You told me you didn't want to have children. I don't know why you changed your mind or what happened but the next fight you told me we were done that the relationship had taken its full course. I couldn't believe you but I was emotional and needed to run. In my head I needed to get away. Serkan, I knew that I was pregnant already. You and I were going to have a baby and now you just told me that you didn't want either of us so I ran to Italy. Oh I made a half-hearted attempt to call you and sent you a text but I was still so hurt."

His ears were ringing. Eda said that she was pregnant? That was impossible. The doctor told him that he could never have a child, that the drugs had made him infertile, "Who did you sleep with?"

Eda's head snapped back, "Excuse me? What did you just ask me?"

Serkan's heart was beating out of his chest, "I asked who you slept with, whose baby is it?"

She stood up, angry, "Yours you idiot. I've never slept with anyone else in my life nor do I ever want to."

"You don't have to pretend Eda. I know that I couldn't give you what you wanted so you got it from someone else." 

Eda slapped him hard.

"Serkan Bolat don't you say another word," she stood up, her very pregnant belly on display against her sweater, "I have never slept with another man and you know that. Don't you dare insult either of us by saying something so stupid and hurtful again or I swear I will slap you harder."

"The doctor told me I was infertile Eda, that I couldn't have children. What am I supposed to think?"

He watched her, she was glorious in her temper, "I can tell you what I think. I think you need a new doctor because the one you have is an idiot just like you because you most certainly are not infertile and I most certainly am pregnant by you. I think we need to take you for a semen analysis tomorrow just so you can see how wrong he is."

Eda spun on her heel and started to march towards to door. Serkan threw off the blanket and ran after her, "Eda, stop, please," and then, "Damn, fuck, shit!" As he stepped on a sharp rock Sirius had dragged into the house and lost his balance and slammed his knee into the end table before losing his balance and falling hard to the floor.

She turned when she heard the cursing start but wasn't in time to stop him from falling, Eda slid to her knees next to him pulling him up on her chest, "Oh baby, we're going to have to put some ice on that," before she started laughing.

Serkan could see the humor in it but he wasn't at the laughing stage just yet, "Eda, don't go, stay. Please stay. We still need to talk and since we've started we may as well keep going."

"Do you need me to help you up? Cause right now I think I might weigh more than you do. Serkan's you're skin and bones. You can't do this to yourself," she stroked his face tenderly.

He caught her hand and just held it before kissing her palm, "I don't want to be too morose but life for me was over without you. I know I did this to myself. Maybe I was punishing myself for what I did to you but I really just didn't care anymore."

"Come on, let's stand," Eda helped pull Serkan to a stand, she looked at the bottom of his foot to see a bruised puncture wound in the bottom of it and then pulled his pants leg up to see the large knot on his knee.

"Let's go wash out your foot first and then I'll get the ice."

Eda turned on the rottweiler, "Sirius Bolat, you know better than to bring rocks into the house. Shame on you. Serkan, you've just let him get away with too much lately, he knows better than to eat rocks."

Serkan hopped to the bathroom to let Eda clean the bottom of his foot. She had him go sit on the sofa while she went for ice. Eda brought back two packs and wrapped them in place before sitting and continuing the conversation.

"Melo was angry with me for not telling you about the baby sooner. She pointed out how I tried to leave you when I thought Selin might be pregnant and told you a child needed a mother and a father but I was willing to deprive our child of a father. I tried telling myself that I was afraid that you would make me terminate the pregnancy but that's nonsense, you couldn't drag me to have it done, by then I was too far along anyways. The decision to be a part of your child's life is yours to make not mine."

"Eda, there's more that I need to tell you. The cancer, it could come back, the doctor said that there's a seventy percent chance that it would come back within five years and that there's only a five percent chance of me surviving it if that happens. That was why we were fighting, that was why I sent you away. It wasn't because I didn't love you. I'll always love you but I won't have this disease suck the life out of both of us. I don't think that I could bear to watch you as you waited for me to die. I already did it once and I don't know that I can do it again."

She wiped at the tears that refused to stop falling, "You don't get to make that decision for me Serkan. Five days, five months, five years? What if it's fifty or seventy years? Serkan spending time with you is what's important to me. Did I hate what this disease did to you? Absolutely. Would I change it for you? Take your pain away? Absolutely. Would I be anywhere but at your side? No. You and I together we can do hard things. If it comes back we'll do more hard things together but I won't let you push me away for my own good because it isn't good. I'm not living my life. I'm not happy. Do you know I waited and waited for you to come to graduation. Yours was the face I wanted to see in the crowd, you were the one I wanted to share it with and I'm mad that you took that from me. Melo did tell me that you came and I'm mad that you didn't tell me, that you didn't see me."

"Where do we go from here Eda? We seem kind of broken."

"Oh Serkan, we aren't broken. It just goes back to doing the hard things. Do you want to be a parent with me? Do you want to be a family with me and our baby? If you don't because you're afraid of the cancer coming back don't expect me to say that I understand because I won't. At the end of the day we're Serkan and Eda who love each other endlessly. Unless you don't love me anymore."

"If I told you I didn't love you would you move on Eda?"

"I'd tell you to your face that you were lying to me. If you really don't want to be together then we can be done right now. I'll tell your child that you died of cancer whether you die from it or not because that's what you're doing. You're going to let the disease ruin whatever life we can have. Thank you for telling me Serkan, good bye."

Serkan didn't want her to leave, he wanted one chance to have that family with her even if it was for a couple of months, "Eda, I said IF. I could never say that I don't love you. That would be a lie. To have a chance to be a family with you and our baby that would be my dream but how do I leave you? How do I put you through it all over again? How do I leave our child?"

Eda closed the distance between their lips to kiss him at first tenderly and then with a building passion, "What if none of that ever happens? What if we are blessed and grow old and gray together watching our children and grandchildren grow? But if it does happen I wouldn't trade a moment of that time with you. I can't imagine ever having to say goodbye to you Serkan but please don't take yourself away from us now. How about we live for the now and not for the maybe? Can we try that?'

He jerkily nodded his head, "Please, I'd like to try if you can forgive me for sending you away."

"Oh baby, I think you punished yourself enough for seven lifetimes. No more, please. We need to be open and honest. Like I said, together we can do hard things." Eda wiped the tears from her eyes and then wiped them from Serkan's.

"May I see our baby?" he asked tentatively.

"Come lay down, you're exhausted and so am I and then I can introduce you to your daughter."

Serkan's eyes lit up, "We're having a girl? A baby girl?" he tentatively reached to touch her abdomen, learning the feel of her.

Eda stood up in front of Serkan, he rested his head on her. He was so tired, maybe she would stay and let him sleep for a year, "Come on baby, let's get you back to bed."

"You're staying?"

"I'm staying, I'm just going to throw on one of your shirts for now."

Eda got Serkan settled and then turned out the lights before selecting one of her favorite shirts and changing out of her sweater and leggings leaving only his shirt and her thong on. She walked back into the bedroom to see him waiting for her. Eda got in on her side of the bed under the blankets. She lifted the shirt to expose her belly. Serkan moved his big hands over her, their daughter must have approved of his touch.

"Eda? Is that her? That little fluttering against my palm?" she held his palm where the baby was moving.

"There, do you feel her?"

"Yes, this is amazing," he leaned down to kiss her abdomen resting his cheek against her only to feel another kick.

Serkan turned his head back to Eda and smiled his little half smile before sitting up and turning off the light, he gathered her in his arms. How did he think he was going to live without her for another month let alone years he wondered.

"I love you Eda. I'm sorry for sending you away, I've missed you so much. Only now does my heart feel like it's beating right."

"I know what you mean Serkan. I was so lonely without you. Please don't do something that silly again, I love you but I really wanted to hit you with something."

"Next time you can hit me. You have my permission. Sleep now, I think that we both need it." He kissed the top of her head, he need not have worried, Eda was sound asleep.

Melo was heading off to work the following morning when Ayfer cornered her, "Where's Eda?"

"I don't know, I'm not her keeper. You're the one who has been filling her head with all sorts of garbage so maybe she went for a walk. I'm going to work. Oh by the way, I'll be moving out to a different apartment in the next few days. I thought I'd let you know."

"Melek Yucel, where are you going?" shouted Ayfer.

She ignored her. No more listening to her bitterness. She would stay with Leyla for a few days while she figured everything out. She and Leyla had been trying to feed Serkan for the past week with no success, maybe tomorrow. She wondered where Eda was, maybe for a walk, the woman did like her walks.

Serkan woke slowly the next morning afraid that the night before had been a dream and that he hadn't really had a deep conversation with Eda and that she wasn't pregnant with their child. But the weight on his chest and her floral fragrance teasing his nostrils told him it was not a dream. Serkan reached down with his hand again, his shirt had ridden up on Eda in her sleep to just under her breasts. Her much fuller breasts. He rested his hand on their baby again, Serkan couldn't believe that they were having a daughter. There was still so much to talk about but this was a miracle.

****

Eda felt Serkan's hand rubbing her belly. As sweet as that was, she had been without him for far too long. Their sex life had always been very active only stopping when he was at his sickest. She missed not only her love but her lover. Eda covered his hand with hers and brought it up to her breast. Serkan massaged the fullness, pinching the nipple.

"I have missed your touch on me so much Serkan, please, I need you," Eda groaned out as she reached inside his sleep pants. Serkan's legs fell apart a little wider as Eda started working his growing erection.

"Eda, I've been without you for too long, I won't last," she gave him a final stroke before starting to remove his pants freeing him fully.

"Then what do you want Serkan? Tell me." Eda removed her thong as Serkan alternated between her breasts, she was so wet.

"Ride me, take me in and ride me. Let me take our shirts off, I want to see you, taste you." Eda straddled Serkan putting the head of his cock right into her sex, sliding all the way down on him.

"I've missed you so much Serkan," Eda moaned as she started to ride him unbuttoning the shirt in a little strip tease. Serkan sat up and stripped his shirt fastening his mouth back on Eda's breast and sucking hard before biting lightly. Her little intake of breath showing her pleasure had him give the other one the same treatment. Pulling her back down with his mouth and gentle pressure from his hands.

"Hold them for me Eda so you can ride me hard," Serkan ground out. Eda's little huff of, "Okay," as her climax was overtaking her made Serkan hold her hips down as he thrust his hips up hard.

Eda was crying at the sensations, with another orgasm building Serkan bit down on her nipple as he bottomed out in her, Eda's second climax hit hard pulling Serkan's release from him. Eda straightened her legs on either side of him, "I love you Serkan Bolat, you owe me a lot of sex you know that?"

Serkan chuckled, still hard in Eda, "I'll give you as much as you can take Eda Yildiz Bolat. I'll make love to you, I'll have sex with you, I'll fuck you. You can do the same with me, I'm yours I always have been. It might not be the most romantic proposal honey but you are going to marry me aren't you? Or do I have to sex you into a yes?"

Eda pretended to think about it, "Hmmm, how would you do that Serkan?"

He tipped her over onto her stomach and shoved a pillow under her hips before fitting his cock to her sex and driving deep, "Well I thought this would be nice. I can get you nice and deep Eda."

She loved when he talked to her like this, "What else can you do baby?"

Serkan reached around and pinched her clit, already distended from her previous orgasms, "I can do this while I fuck you hard from behind Eda, do you like it?"

He watched as her hands clawed at the linens as she pushed against him. He knew she was close so he pressed down on her clit and reached forward to pinch a nipple as he slammed into her twice more. Her scream was drowned out by the pillow that she stuck her face into. Serkan released into her, the strong contractions of her inner walls increasing his pleasure. He couldn't remember ever coming so hard.

****

Serkan stayed inside her and rolled them to their sides, he spooned her from behind, his hand covering their baby. "Was that a yes Eda?"

She reached her arm behind her to pull his head close, "That was a yes Serkan. Life with you will always be a yes for me, I love you."

He slipped out of her body and turned her to face him, "I love you Eda. Let's do this soon. I want our baby to know me. You never said when she's due."

"May, early May. Serkan, let's get a semen analysis done for you too and maybe a second opinion on the cancer treatment? It might not change anything but at least there will have been more than one doctor looking at your results okay?"

"Okay. Do you have a doctor here? I'd like to see the baby if I can."

"My doctor just transferred here from Italy, so we can see Dr. Cenk at any time and don't worry no relation to the other one. Serkan, can we eat? I'm starving."

He chuckled, "Sure, I can feed you."

They showered and Eda put on another of Serkan's shirts with her leggings while he made breakfast. Seyfi was unaware that Eda was with Serkan and was delighted with her presence, he had missed her.

"Eda hanim, I have missed you. Did you and Serkan bey bury the hatchet?"

Serkan rolled his eyes, "Yes Seyfi, we have buried the hatchet. I know I've been a miserable human without Eda. We talked for quite a while last night and she's agreed to give me another chance but this time we're going to be permanent." He reached around Eda cradling her baby bump.

Seyfi's eyes were huge, "You're having a baby together? Why that's wonderful. Aydan hanim is going to flip. She's been missing you terribly Eda hanim. This explains why you were so upset that day then. Really Serkan bey."

"I know Seyfi, I know. Believe me Eda has already told me."

Eda pushed back into Serkan, he wasn't totally at blame, "At the end of the days Seyfi, we love each other too much to stay apart. Our child deserves to be with both her parents and we both want that."

Just then Aydan wandered down to see what was taking Seyfi so long, maybe he had finally gotten Serkan to eat something, "Edacim, you're here! Oh my sweet girl I've missed you so much, please don't leave me again."

"Really anne?"

"Okay, okay, please don't let him drive you away again like an idiot and make you leave me," she amended.

"Aydan hanim, I'm not planning on leaving. Serkan and I have talked."

"Yes anne, Eda and I have talked and she agreed to marry me but before you get all excited we're doing it quickly and quietly," he leaned and whispered into Eda's ear, "That's alright isn't it?"

She pulled his ear towards her, "Yes, half my clothes don't fit and I don't want to look like a whale so let's get married as soon as possible."

He continued their whispered conversation, "The paperwork is good for a year, we still have it from our last try, we can go at any time."

"Tomorrow, you have to have some tests done today and we'll go see Dr. Cenk."

Aydan and Seyfi watched this whispered conversation fascinated. Serkan finally spoke up, "We'll go to the marriage offices tomorrow. The paperwork from the last time is still good and we don't want a fuss."

Eda decided to throw Aydan a bone, "Nothing fits anymore anyways," as Serkan's big hands molded around her baby belly.

Aydan let out a small scream, "I'm going to be a babanne? Seyfi, you're going to be an amca, I'm so excited. Wait a second, Ayfer has known this whole time and has said nothing?"

"Errr, I asked her not to until I talked to Serkan. Melo has been angry with me because I waited so long."

"Anne, it's water under the bridge. We'll get married tomorrow. We have some things to do today but we'll let you know what's going on okay? I need to feed Eda and the baby."

"And you," added Eda.

"And me," agreed Serkan.

With breakfast taken care of and a semen analysis taken at Dilek hanim's office. Eda and Serkan headed to Dr. Cenk's office. The man was in his early forties and had a serious expression. He wasn't thrilled to meet Serkan until Eda explained to him that she just told him about the baby.

Serkan assured him, "Rest assured doctor, I'll be at all of Eda's appointments."

"So Eda hanim, you wanted to do an ultrasound today? Are you having issues?"

"No Dr. Cenk, I was hoping to do one today so Serkan could see the baby. I've excluded him to this point and I want him to feel like he's a part of the baby's life and was hoping that this would help."

The doctor agreed to do the ultrasound for Eda, she got on the table and he applied the gel. Dr. Cenk moved the wand around so that he could show Serkan the baby and listen to the heartbeat. He was fascinated and had a dozen questions for the man. Dr. Cenk's opinion of Serkan Bolat changed by the end of the visit.

Serkan and Eda were leaving the doctor's office when her cell rang, it was Ayfer. Eda hadn't told her where she was and she knew that she wouldn't be happy. Best to get it over. Eda turned to Serkan, "It's my hala, she isn't going to be happy I'm with you. I'll put her on speaker just remember she doesn't speak for me, only I speak for me and I love you."

"Hala, what did you want?"

"Eda where are you?"

"I just came from a visit to Dr. Cenk. Serkan and I had a long talk last night about the baby and our relationship. We wanted to look at our daughter together."

Ayfer exploded, "You what? Why would you give that man the time of day? After all that he's done to you? I forbid it. I forbid you to see him or talk to him."

Eda just laughed, "Hala I love you but you have no say in who I love or want to be with. I'm over twenty-one, I pay my own way, as a matter of fact, I pay your own way. Didn't I pay off the house for you? Wasn't that thanks to Serkan? And all the extra business that you got wasn't that also thanks to Serkan. You have a very short memory hala when people do good things for you. Serkan and I were both wrong, we've made peace with how we're going to move forward and you have no say in the matter. Was there anything else?"

"So you're with him for money?"

"You know what hala, I'm going to go before you say anything worse. Goodbye."

She turned a squinty look to Serkan, "Do you know I just found out that you didn't take those shares back? Serkan, you can't just toss money around like that. You either let me buy shares back or you let me sign them over to you."

He caught her fingers in his, "No, I'm not doing that. I can sign them over to our future children but I won't take anything back. Eda I don't care about the money. I just wanted you safe and secure."

"Is it annoying to point out that I was safe and secure with you before you chased me off?"

"Yes it's annoying to point out that out but I still love you. Come on, let's take you shopping for some clothes. You can't wear my shirt tomorrow."

While they were out shopping Eda decided to FaceTime Melo, she was surprised when she actually picked up the phone.

"Melo, I wanted to apologize for yesterday. You were right. Serkan deserved to know and he deserved to make the decision on his own. We talked a lot last night thanks to you."

Still a bit sore with Eda, Melo wasn't ready to forgive just yet, "Where are you?"

Serkan took the phone from her, "Her clothes don't fit Melo. I want to thank you as well. You were a sound voice of reason for me yesterday. Had I not talked with you I might have made a very different choice and I'm thankful that you're my sister."

Melo's smile was wide, "Eniste? You look better today. Did the two of you work out your problems?"

"We did Melek, we did. Could you go to the front desk? Betul has something for you there."

"Okay, I'll walk to Betul," Melo got to the front desk and was surprised with a large bouquet of flowers, "You got these for me eniste?"

Eda's face popped into the Face Time, "We did Melo, read the card and we'll see you tomorrow, we have to run. Bye!"

Melo plucked the card from the middle of the flowers and read it, '10:00 a.m. Thursday be out front of ArtLife.' There was nothing else on the card, she took the flowers back to her desk and went back to work.

Serkan helped Eda to pick a wardrobe that would fit her for the coming months and they found a dress for the wedding ceremony. Eda agreed to come back to work at ArtLife the following week as long as Engin and Pyril were fine with it. Serkan thought it was a silly question but he asked anyways. Engin shouted his yes, Pyril was much quieter in her yes but no less happy. Aydan had been busy planning a celebration dinner for Thursday evening. They might not be having a big wedding but they could have a nice dinner. Her call to Ayfer went unanswered, she didn't push the issue, if Ayfer wanted to be sour she could just stay that way.

Eda and Serkan arrived in the limo to pick up Melo with Seyfi and Aydan. The driver got out and opened her door for her, Melo was overjoyed to find out that it was a wedding that she was attending. When Eda and Serkan said their vows Melo and Seyfi performed their jobs as witnesses. After many long months they were now Serkan and Eda Bolat. It was Eda and Serkan's turn to be surprised with the dinner party at Aydan's home that evening.

Engin and Pyril joined the celebration as did Leyla. Fifi, Ceren and Ferit were in London and couldn't attend but sent their well wishes. Pyril was excited for Eda to have a baby, Can would have a friend only a few months younger than he.

Eda pulled Melo to the side, "I want to thank you for telling me the truth and for lighting a fire under me. You're right, I was listening to hala. Her jealousy of Serkan is unreasonable as always. Do you know she wouldn't even come tonight? Aydan anne invited her and she wouldn't even answer the phone."

Melo shrugged, "She's become bitter. I told her yesterday that I was moving out. I'll stay with Leyla until I figure out where I want to be but I don't want to be around her attitude any longer."

"Melo, you can't not have a place to live. We can find one of the ArtLife properties or I'll buy you something and if you're really concerned you can pay rent but you know Serkan won't let his sister just live anywhere."

Serkan had wandered up to Eda and Melo at the last part, "What's this about Melek living somewhere different?"

Eda turned in his arms, "She told hala that she's moving out but has no place to live."

"So live in our old apartment by the University. ArtLife still owns it and it's empty and furnished. It's on the transit line or you can get a car, either works Melek."

Melo pushed Eda out of Serkan's arms so she could give him a hug, "Thank you eniste, I would love to live there. I might even get a cat."

"Um Melo, I suggested it," said Eda.

"Fine," said Melo as she gave Eda a hug too before wandering off to tell Seyfi of her new apartment.

"You know the barn cat had a litter about six weeks ago, Melek could pick out her own kitten. I don't want to take more of you hugs from her do you want to tell her?"

They heard a squeal from Melo and saw Aydan and Seyfi leading her out of the living room, "No worries Serkan, they beat us both to it."

With Melo ensconced in her new apartment with her kitten Pippi and Eda and Serkan married and looking for a new home things began to settle down. Serkan started to work out again and was slowly gaining back the weight that he lost. When his semen analysis came back normal he agreed with Eda that he should get a second opinion regarding his cancer treatment.

They weren't as lucky with the second opinion, the doctor did confirm his original diagnosis and prognosis but recommended to Serkan that he live his life to the fullest. While it was a bitter pill to swallow Serkan did his best to follow the recommendation. They had so much to look forward to. They found a house on the sea, something that Eda loved. The lot was private and Eda felt safe there. After his second opinion Serkan always had in the back of his mind that he needed a place for Eda to be safe and happy when he was no longer around. He tried to keep these black thoughts out but they would creep in every once in a while.

Eda's relationship with her aunt had deteriorated to a point where they were no longer speaking. Serkan had tried to speak with Ayfer himself as an intermediary but she wasn't receptive. Seyfi took it upon himself to go and visit Ayfer one afternoon a month before Eda's baby was due.

He walked up as she was repotting some flowers rather aggressively, "You know Ayfer hanim, you might want to take up boxing or something to get out all that aggression. Those poor flowers can't handle what you're dishing out."

Her head popped up at the familiar voice, "Seyfi bey, I don't need advice from you."

"No, you seem to be doing so well on your own. You've alienated your niece and also Melo, quite possibly the most easy going woman on the planet by being so pigheaded. Tell me Ayfer hanim just what did Serkan bey do to you that was so terrible? Don't tell me it's because of Eda hanim because anything that happened between them is just that. Between them, I'd hazard a guess that you made it harder for them to get back together. Is that it? You wanted Eda for your own again? You didn't want her to live with the man that she loved? You didn't want her child to have her father around? Serkan bey is a good person, he isn't an ogre and he loves Eda deeply. Why would you interfere?"

Ayfer slammed the potting shovel into the dirt, "Who are you to judge Seyfi bey? I raised that girl since she was five and then he comes along and changes her life. When he got sick I barely saw her, did she ever give me a thought? So no, I'm sorry if you think I'm too harsh on him."

Seyfi's brows went up, "Very petty Ayfer hanim, begrudging your niece spending time with her fiancé who quite possibly could have died. That very fiancé who financially saved you or did you think that no one knew that? Did you want him to go to the grave not getting credit for helping you out? He didn't ask for credit though did he? He knew you needed help and because he loved Eda he saw that you got help."

"You'll never understand Seyfi bey what it's like to do everything for someone and then to have them forget you."

"I don't recall you making any effort to come see her though Ayfer hanim like all Eda's other friends did. The other girls came to see Serkan and Eda regularly, they played cards or watched movies or just talked. You could have done that too. Why did everything have to be your way?"

"Because for once I wanted her to put me first."

"I see. Well I'm sorry that you couldn't share her because she did put you first for many years and always worried what you thought. You should be happy that she's found love and is going to have a child but I'll leave you to your pity party, enjoy," Seyfi left as silently as he had come. At least he now knew why Ayfer had been such a shrew.

Serkan was nervous for the birth of the baby. He hated hospitals having spent so much time in them over the past six months but what he was really worried about was seeing Eda in pain. Serkan didn't want his love to be in pain. When he mentioned this to her she just laughed and then she kissed him and told him that everything she read said that a mother forgets the pain of childbirth.

He didn't really believe her but he was trying. The first of May came and Eda was days away from delivery, Dr. Cenk said at her last visit that their daughter would come any day now. To Eda that meant getting everything in their new house in shape. Aydan said Eda was nesting.

Eda was pouting, she wanted Serkan to make love to her tonight but he said she was too close to delivery. She had tried everything but wasn't successful, even his favorite game of preparing her for breastfeeding wasn't working tonight. Eda waddled into the living room to see Serkan reclining his head on the sofa.

"Honey, are you okay?"

Serkan nodded, "Just a bit of a headache tonight. How are you feeling?"

"Well other than frustrated fine," no sooner had she said this than a contraction began rippling through her, "Oh."

He sat up quickly, "Are you having contractions baby?"

Eda was breathing through it, "Maybe a few."

"Define a few Eda."

It was her turn to be a little bit crabby, "Fine, for the past couple of hours, this one was harder than the others."

Serkan came to gather her in his arms and massage her low back, "Does that feel better? How far apart are they baby?"

"About five minutes."

He kissed the top of her head, "And you wanted to have sex tonight."

She nodded, "I still do, we won't be able to have it for six weeks once she's here."

"We'll figure something out don't worry. Let me call Dr. Cenk and give him an update then I'll go get the bags from upstairs."

Serkan called Dr. Cenk who wanted them to head into the hospital. Serkan grabbed both Eda and his bag and headed back downstairs. He was helping Eda to the car when another contraction hit, he held her and rubbed her back again as he breathed with her through it, "That feels good Serkan, rubbing my back just like that feels so good."

"I'll do whatever you need me to do, come on, let's get our girl delivered."

They pulled up to the hospital and parked the car. They were walking to the doors when Eda stopped and wailed, "Noooo, my water just broke."

"Stay here, I'll be right back," Serkan dropped both bags at her feet and raced into the hospital grabbing a wheelchair and an orderly, "My wife's water just broke right outside the door."

The orderly followed him out to collect Eda. Serkan followed them up to the delivery suite. Once her water broke Eda's contractions increased in frequency and intensity. Serkan was on hand to massage her back and breath with her. Dr. Cenk came in at 3:15 in the morning to do an exam on Eda.

"Do you feel like pushing Eda? Remember how you practiced it, Serkan help her count it out, hold her up."

Eda pushed and Serkan counted, "Good, good Eda, I can feel the crown of her head. When the next contraction hits do that again."

Her next contraction hit and Eda pushed, her contractions were on top of each other now, "One more big push Eda and she's out."

Serkan held her and counted in her ear as Eda pushed, her daughter slid the rest of the way out. Serkan rested his lips on the side of Eda's head, "I'm so proud of you honey, I love you so much."

Eda just muttered, "Uh huh," and reclined on the bed exhausted from the delivery. Dr. Cenk handed Serkan the scissors so that he could cut the umbilical. Eda watched as he smiled so big while he did it, she couldn't believe that she thought to deny him this chance to be a father. They took the baby to weigh her and clean her before bringing her back to Eda while Dr. Cenk delivered the afterbirth.

She reached up and pulled Serkan's head back to hers, "You were the best coach. I love you Serkan Bolat."

He kissed her sweetly, "Didn't you tell me that together we can do hard things?"

"I did, go get our daughter, I want to see her. Is she beautiful?"

"She's amazing Eda and so gorgeous, she looks just like her anne." The nurse brought a wrapped baby back to Eda, Serkan helped Eda bring the baby to her breast to feed for the first time. He couldn't get over how beautiful of a sight it was watching mother and daughter, what a gift. When the baby slipped off Eda's nipple Serkan covered her up and took the baby to gently burp her. He really just wanted a chance to hold her, to love her. Eda watched father and daughter bonding, her heart so full.

"Are we still naming her Kiraz? Infinite love? Yes? Then Kiraz Bolat, welcome to the world," said Serkan softly rubbing his chin on her head.

The nurse came over to take Kiraz so they could do a full check up in the nursery. Another nurse stayed with Eda to help her clean up so Serkan went to make some calls, "Anne? Sorry to wake you but I couldn't wait to tell you. Kiraz Bolat made her arrival at 3:45 this morning, she's beautiful, she looks just like Eda. A little fairy girl. I'm not going to call everyone and wake them up but I thought that I would call you and I'll call Ayfer not that she'll care but I'm calling. I'll see you later." He hung up before Aydan could get a word in, she didn't mind, she knew he was excited. Serkan was a father now, he was getting to live his dream.

Serkan called Ayfer, "Sorry to disturb you Ayfer hanim, but I wanted to call and tell you that Kiraz Bolat was born at 3:45 this morning. She's beautiful just like her anne and Eda was a champion. I thought you should know."

Ayfer wiped the tear that was rolling down her cheek, "Thank you Serkan, go be with your family."

Serkan and Eda were so in love with baby Kiraz they couldn't stop watching her. Serkan took off the first two weeks to be home with Eda while she recovered from the delivery. Kiraz was a good baby, usually. She wasn't fussy and definitely a daddy's girl but when she was in a mood, she was in a mood. Serkan made the mistake of joking with Eda that Kiraz was a carbon copy of her anne in the mood department too. Serkan found himself banished to the guest room to sleep that night.

Eda's moods became erratic after the first week home. As much as Serkan tried to support her and gently suggest that she talk with someone she resisted his efforts. Eda knew that she was being irrational but she was struggling to get back on an even keel. She was mad at Serkan and so she banished him to the guest room, then she missed him and was mad at him that he left her. In her eyes he could do no right.

He had talked to Dr. Cenk wondering if it was post-partum depression. The doctor was going to talk to Eda about it at her next visit. Serkan talked with his anne and with Pyril trying to get as much support as possible. Melo came to spend time with Eda cuddling with Kiraz. Serkan spent time with Kiraz but little time with Eda, her anger seemed to be directed at him and he was at a loss for what he had done.

Serkan went back to work after two weeks, missing both his wife and his daughter and totally clueless as to what he should do. A week of not talking to Eda had passed and Serkan could take no more. He left work early and headed home. Quietly coming in the door so he wouldn't disturb Eda or Kiraz he saw the most heartwarming sight, Eda singing to her daughter while the baby was sleeping in her arms.

Eda looked up finally catching sight of Serkan, "Why are you home so early?"

He came into the living room and sat next to her on the sofa, "I missed you. I missed Kiraz. You don't talk to me, you don't look at me, I don't know what you want me to do Eda."

"Give me some time Serkan, I'm adjusting to all of this. My body is adjusting to everything, the change in hormones, breastfeeding, everything. Give me some time."

"What do you mean by give you some time? Do you want me to stay in the guest room? Do you want me to stay out of sight? Be clear with me Eda."

Her temper always on edge around him Eda snapped out, "Why does everything have to be black and white with you? Just a little bit of breathing room. I can take care of the baby, you don't have to breathe down my neck all the time. I'm not an invalid. I can do things on my own. I just need some space to find my way as a new mother."

Serkan was taken aback, "I see. I didn't realize that by wanting to spend time with my daughter and wife that I was breathing down your neck. I didn't think that trying to help you was saying that you were an invalid. I thought that was part of being a partner. I guess only finding one's way as a new mother counts. Finding your way as a new father means nothing. I'll give you your space," he got up from the sofa and backed away from her before he lost his temper or even worse broke down.

"Serkan," Eda called out, but he kept going taking the stairs two at a time.

He didn't slam the door in the bedroom, he closed it quietly trying to control his emotions. Serkan honestly didn't know what he had done and didn't understand why Eda was acting this way. Deep down he did know, he had done the same thing after his cancer treatments. She was struggling with her depression and he was a trigger for her. 

If she wanted space from him he would give her space. Serkan packed a suitcase with enough clothes for a couple of weeks and went to sit in the guest room. He took the photo from the hospital of the three of them and the one from their wedding and tossed them in the bag. Serkan heard Eda come upstairs and go into the master to put Kiraz down. He took his bags and headed downstairs. His laptop was still in the car, his phone and keys were in his pocket. He got in the car and drove.

Eda hadn't heard Serkan leave the house, she thought that he was still in the guest room. Eda knocked on the door, "Serkan, please, let's talk. That came out wrong," when she got no response from him she tried the knob and pushed the door open. The room was still and empty.

Where was he? Eda hurried downstairs, "Serkan?" she ran over to the front door and threw it open to look for his car, it was gone. Eda ran back inside and grabbed her phone off the counter to call him but it went straight to voicemail, what had she done? She waited for his voicemail to kick off and left him a message, "Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean how it came out. Please come back so we can talk. I was a jerk, I love you and miss you and I don't know why I'm acting this way. Please call me when you get my message."

Surely he didn't go that far, maybe to the annex apartment or even the summer house but as the hours crept into night Eda's panic as to where he was boiled over. She tried to locate his phone but he had turned it off so the service wouldn't work.

Eda called Melo, "I've done something horrible Melo."

"Now what Dada?"

"Serkan came home early to spend time with me and Kiraz and I told him that I needed space that he was crowding me. I don't even know why I did it and he left and I don't know where he went. He isn't answering his phone."

She heard Melo's sigh over the phone, "You need help Dada. He's been trying to help you and all you're doing is being a bitch, pardon me for saying that. You have post-partum depression and won't admit it and now you've taken it out on your husband and chased him out. What do you need me to do?"

"I can't leave Kiraz, can you see if he's at the summer house or the annex apartment? Maybe the mountain house? He turned his phone off so I don't know where he is," Eda started to cry in earnest now. Melo had said she was being a bitch and she was, her emotions were all over the place.

"I'll let you know if I find him. Stay there," the things that she did for her friend. Melo decided to try to call Serkan on the off chance that it was just Eda he was ignoring but her call went directly to voicemail as well.

Serkan was exhausted, the emotional strain that his conversation with Eda had put on him had taken its toll. He let himself into the house and walked to the couch overlooking the sea, he had bought this beach house a few years ago as an investment property and only recently completed the renovations to it. He had thought that Eda would enjoy coming here in the summer with Kiraz but now he wasn't so sure. The constant throbbing in his head wasn't helping so he thought that he would go upstairs and lay down. Serkan lay on the bed fully dressed turned towards the window, sleep caught him before he could even take off his shoes.

His sleep was restless and filled with confusing dreams and nightmares. Serkan woke with his heart pounding at three in the morning, confused as to where he was. He reached for his phone and turned it back on. He waited while it pinged with messages and missed calls. Eda had called thirty-two times. Sure, now she wanted to talk to him or was she not done driving him into the dirt. She had sent text messages as well but he didn't read them.

Serkan saw a note from Melo. It was simple, 'R U Ok?'. He smiled at her note. Should he lie to her and say that he was fine or should he tell her the truth? Serkan opted for the truth, 'No. Don't want to talk.' He left it at that, Melo would try to dig but he really didn't want to talk. He turned off the phone and lay back down.

Melo called Eda, "I know it's the middle of the night but I just got a text from Serkan, he responded to mine. I asked if he was okay and he just said no but that he didn't want to talk."

Eda quickly did a find his location but Serkan had disabled it, "He disabled his location tracker. He's got to be furious with me or just really, really hurt and I never wanted to do that to him. He wasn't at any of the usual places? Where is he Melo?"

"I have no idea where he is. You already checked his credit cards, he hasn't checked into a hotel, I don't know Eda. You had better figure out how you're going to fix this though. I'm going back to bed, I'll talk to you later."

She was rocking Kiraz as she fed her, "Oh sweetie, your daddy is not happy with me and I have to fix it but I don't know how. Help me figure this out honey."

Serkan woke the next morning and sat down to his emails. He worked through them steadily letting Leyla know that he wouldn't be in the remainder of the week. Serkan ignored the emails from Eda.

Serkan had been gone for five days and was still refusing to talk to Eda. She couldn't stop crying and Kiraz was now feeding off of Eda's mood. Serkan and Engin had a Zoom call scheduled with a client, Melo joined the call as Engin's assistant. She had asked Engin to keep Serkan after the call was over with the client and then leave, she needed to talk to Serkan privately.

"Eniste, don't you hang up on me," Melo said ferociously.

"I don't need you doing her dirty work Melo, she's done quite enough already."

"Serkan Bolat, have you read any of her letters or text or listened to her messages? The woman has post-partum depression, she went to Dr. Cenk and is finally getting the help she needs but she needs you too. All she does is cry and now all Kiraz does is cry. No one can comfort them, they both need you."

He was shaking his head, "That isn't what Eda told me, she wanted her space. She said I was breathing down her neck and treating her like an invalid."

"She was acting like a bitch Serkan, I told her so and now you're being a jerk, do you want Kiraz to have to suffer because of you two idiots?"

"Was your point in talking to me to insult me Melo?"

"One of the two of you has to be the adult. Go home. I don't want to have to tell you again."

"It was a pleasure to talk to you Melo," he knew that Eda had post-partum depression but she didn't think so. She just ignored him, she threw his help to the side. He knew that Melo was exaggerating the situation just to get to him, he was more than sure that Eda was fine.

Melo called Eda, "I finally figured out where Serkan is. I was filing invoices and there were a bunch for renovations on a house in Sile under his name. That's where he is, I saw the beach out the window on today's call. I'm sending you the address. Try to be smart for once."

Eda wiped her tears, "Okay, thanks Melo."

"Sweetheart, we're going to go visit daddy whether he wants to see us or not," Eda picked up Kiraz and went upstairs to pack a couple of bags. She was going to go get her husband back.

She packed Kiraz into her car seat and stored the bags in the trunk before plugging Serkan's address in GPS. Eda turned on their favorite music and set off. The drive was relaxing for both Eda and Kiraz. She didn't know her baby loved a road trip but she would have to remember this for the future. Eda neared her destination just as Kiraz was starting to make some fussy noises. "Hang on Kiraz, we're almost to daddy." Eda prayed that Melo was right and Serkan was here, she never even gave it a thought that Melo could be wrong.

When Eda pulled into the drive she breathed a sigh of relief to see Serkan's car. Maybe Kiraz could feel that her daddy was near because she quieted down again. Eda got out and went around to get Kiraz from the car seat, "Here goes nothing Kiraz."

Serkan was sitting at his laptop working when the front doorbell rang, he had no idea who it could be and thought about ignoring it but decided to go open it. Standing framed in the glass of the door was Eda, part of him wanted to turn right around and ignore her but he missed her and he missed his daughter. Serkan opened the door but didn't let Eda in just yet.

"What are you doing here Eda?"

"I think it's pretty obvious Serkan, I'm hunting you down since you won't talk to me. Can you take Kiraz, she needs her diaper changed and I need the bathroom," she handed him Kiraz and the diaper bag and while his hands were full Eda grabbed his collar in her fists and pulled him to her so she could kiss him.

She took him by surprise with her kiss, "Where's the bathroom?"

"Powder room is right there," he motioned to the left with his head as he went to close the front door. Serkan cuddled Kiraz to his chest, he had missed his baby girl. She had missed him too, her fists were gripping onto any part of him that she could reach as if to say, 'I'm not letting go.'

Serkan changed Kiraz on the sofa in the family room overlooking the sea and had her taken care of and resting on his chest by the time Eda came out of the bathroom.

"Do you want to tell me why you're really here Eda?" he said from the sofa as his big hand soothed his daughter's back. Eda melted watching him care for Kiraz, she really had been a bitch.

"I told you I was hunting you down. I've called repeatedly and texted and emailed but you won't talk to me. I called after you when you started up the stairs but you just kept going, I didn't know that you left and then by the time I did you wouldn't talk to me. I'm not doing a repeat of Italy and going to be without you for any length of time Serkan. This was all my fault and I knew it, my hormones were out of control and I didn't even recognize myself. I was mad at you and made you sleep in the guest room and then I was mad at you for not being next to me and then I was mad at myself for being such an idiot. I couldn't control myself. I talked to Dr. Cenk the day after you left and have been doing some treatment and I feel a lot better but it didn't change that I hurt you for no reason. I knew you were just helping me and I was an ass. Why wouldn't you talk to me Serkan?"

"Because I didn't know what to say Eda. After the first week everything I did was wrong. I was trying the best I could and you were just being unreasonable. Anything I suggested you snapped my head off and when I kept quiet you snapped harder. I couldn't win in your eyes."

Eda moved right next to Serkan on the sofa so that she could rest her head on his arm, "I was terrible to you, I know that. I'm so sorry baby but you being away doesn't work. Will you come home? Let me make it up to you?"

She was waiting for Serkan to respond but he didn't, had he decided that she wasn't worth the effort? Eda lifted her head from his arm to see that he and Kiraz were sound asleep. Eda fished her phone out of her pocket and snapped a quick picture of the two of them. She took another one on Snap Chat and sent it to Melo and just said 'Thank You' before pocketing her phone and snuggling up to her babies. Serkan's arm came around her pulling her tight. Eda wrapped one arm behind Serkan and the other below Kiraz, keeping them near.

Kiraz woke him from his sleep at two in the morning ready to be fed and changed. Serkan looked down at Eda sleeping soundly against him. He moved Eda's arm from across his stomach and carefully got up to change Kiraz giving Eda a few more minutes of sleep. When she was changed and freshly diapered Eda had mostly woken up and was ready to feed her.

She looked sleepily up at Serkan as he handed her Kiraz, Eda was struggling to stay awake so Serkan undid her blouse and unsnapped her nursing bra placing a pillow under Kiraz and helping her latch on to Eda's breast.

Serkan started to move away but Eda caught his hand, "Stay with me baby. Talk to me. Where will she sleep tonight?"

He gathered her back into his arms as she fed Kiraz, "I have a bassinet in the master. When she's done you can go up to bed."

"Uh uh Serkan, we can go up to bed. I forgot how helpful you were with breastfeeding. You did prep me for it though," she gave him a playful wink.

"What can I say, I'm a helpful guy," he relaxed and watched as his daughter hungrily suckled at Eda's breast.

"Switch her to the other breast would you baby?" Serkan, unsnapped the other side of her nursing bra and unlatched Kiraz from Eda's left breast and moved her to the right one. He went to cover her up but Eda waved him away, "Later."

Kiraz fell asleep, full. Serkan took her from Eda and burped her as he headed upstairs, Eda followed. Their little piglet gave a nice burp and an angelic smile before Serkan swaddled her and laid her in bed.

"Come on, you're tired too, let's get you ready for bed Eda."

She watched him as he moved around the room getting her a shirt to sleep in, Eda dropped her clothes and sat on the edge of the bed. "What are you doing Eda?"

"Here," she held out her arms to him, "We can't have sex yet but we can do other things and I've missed you in my arms.

**** 

Serkan tossed his shirt on top of Eda's discarded clothes and followed it with his pants and boxers. Eda reached for him, she had missed the feel of him. Eda tightened her grip around his erection as she slid to her knees in front of him running her tongue around the head of his cock as she palmed his balls before lightly squeezing them. Eda sucked his cock into her mouth, swallowing as much of him as she could. Her hand fisted at the base. Serkan held Eda's head to him as he thrust into her mouth, he loved the way that she gripped him. Eda took her free hand and ran it down the cleft of his buttocks, the nails biting in sending a shaft of pleasure down his spine. She could feel his climax building as his thrusts became erratic, Eda gave him a harder suck and a squeeze as he held her still and emptied himself to the back of her throat, Eda drank him up. She released his cock with long strokes of her tongue and hand, kissing the tip and running her tongue around him once again.

He bent down and picked her up putting her on the center of the bed. Serkan came between her legs and kissed her deeply, his tongue chasing hers tasting himself. Eda's breasts had begun leaking, her excitement over pleasuring Serkan stimulated her milk again. He kissed his way down her neck stopping at her breasts, giving an experimental lick to the milk, "Not bad honey," Eda held his head to her breasts as he proceeded to clean them off, sucking and biting them.

"Baby, suck harder, so good," so different from breastfeeding a baby, her big baby. Eda felt Serkan's erection against her thigh until he realigned it to ride along her sex rubbing her clit. Eda couldn't stop writhing against him it felt too good, her first climax broke but Serkan didn't stop. He moved against her harder and faster her nails her digging into his buttocks encouraging him. Eda 's second climax was stronger than the first and Serkan released her breast with a pop as he came on her stomach. He had milk on his chin and on his chest from her.

Serkan leaned forward to kiss Eda, "I don't know, maybe there's something to this whole breastfeeding thing. We're kind of a mess though."

"I'll breastfeed you anytime baby, the orgasms are intense. I don't care if we're a mess, I like you on me, but I really like loving you, the taste of you. We have a lot more creativity to explore until we get the green light, I can't wait."

****

They were starting to get stickier so Serkan rolled them off the bed and carried Eda into the shower, "Will you show me the rest of the house tomorrow?"

"Mmhmm, I always intended for us to spend a part of the summer up here. Maybe we should just stay for a few more days."

"I'd like that. Seyfi already picked up Sirius but next time we can just bring him along, you know he likes the beach." Serkan helped Eda to wash off and then finished washing himself. They dried off and got ready for bed, Eda in Serkan's shirt and him in just the sleep pants.

Climbing into bed to sleep Eda burrowed into Serkan's arms, "Are you sure that you forgive me for being a shrew Serkan?"

"I'm sure. I wasn't going to stay gone for good, I missed you both too much. I really just wanted you to get help Eda. You know we still have to talk about the nanny and things like that."

Eda kissed his chest, "I know. What would you think about repurposing that empty space at the back of the office and making a daycare Serkan? I could come back to work but bring Kiraz with me. We could have it open for other kids. Okay, Pyril and Engin are the only ones that have a child but still, what do you think? I want to breastfeed but don't really want to work at home."

"We can look at the space and see what works. Get some rest Eda, we can talk more tomorrow."

"Serkan?"

"Hmmm?"

"I love you, I missed you."

"I love you too Eda, always have, always will. Now sleep, you wore me out and stop pinching me," Serkan rolled over to face her caging her in his arms Eda was nose to nose with him. She kissed him and left her lips touching his as she fell asleep. His wife was a pill, but she was his pill.

The Bolat's had planned on staying at the beach house a full week but Serkan started to develop headaches that lasted all day. They were both on edge fearing that the cancer had returned. He had been having them off and on for over a month but they were now much more intense.

Serkan made an appointment with his oncologist and a CAT scan was scheduled for Monday, he didn't want any delays in case treatment would need to begin again. On Sunday night Serkan sat down with Eda to talk.

"Before you and I got back together I had a living will created. If the cancer is back I know that you want me to fight it but baby, I don't know that I can. The last time almost killed me and I would rather go out surrounded by the people that I love on my own terms. Can you understand that?"

Eda was trying to be strong for Serkan but she couldn't, the idea that she could lose him so soon after they had reconciled and gotten their family was inconceivable, "I hear what you're saying but I'm selfish and I want you to fight but I know how hard it was. It's your decision baby, I don't want you to suffer but I want you to keep an open mind. If there's a good chance will you fight?"

"I promise to listen, if he feels good about my chances I'll fight. If I do decide to take chemo again I'd like to stock some sperm just in case."

"Can we do it either way? I want more of your children Serkan."

He smiled sadly at her, "I don't want to put that burden on you if I'm not here to help you honey."

"Nothing about it is ever a burden Serkan, we're supposed to grow a family together and that's what we're going to do. If you're waiting on the other side a bit early for me so be it but you can watch our children grow. They'll know all about you."

"No Eda, you should get married again. . . . . ."

Eda smashed her fingers over his mouth, "I was meant to love one person in this life Serkan Bolat. I knew that the moment I met you. I won't try to replace you with a pale imitation of the love that we share. I know that you think I'm being emotional but if the positions were reversed would you?"

"We're different people Eda."

"No we aren't Serkan, we're really very similar and we love deeply the same way. You're it for me and I'm it for you. We'll see what the doctor says tomorrow and we'll go from there. I'll respect your decision, I promise but tonight just hold me and Kiraz."

He kissed the top of her head, "Tonight and every night no matter where I am, holding you is what I was meant to do."

The following morning Serkan walked back into the CAT scan room, Eda waited alone. Aydan and Seyfi were watching Kiraz. Eda prayed that life wouldn't be so cruel. Serkan was wheeled out an hour later the orderly was taking him upstairs to the operating room.

"What's going on?" Eda ran after him and the doctor.

"It isn't a tumor, it's an aneurysm that has to be operated on right now. A neurosurgeon is waiting upstairs. That's what was causing the headaches, as it's gotten larger the headaches got worse."

Eda held onto Serkan's hand as they raced down to OR, "I'll give you a minute to talk."

She leaned her forehead against his placing her hand on his cheeks, Serkan reached up and held her hands tight, "I love you Serkan Bolat, you are my life please fight to stay with me."

"I'm sorry baby, I wasn't ready for it to possibly end today. I love you so much. Always love you, always."

The doctor and nurses arrived with the surgical gurney to transfer Serkan, "We have to go. We'll take good care of him."

Eda couldn't let go of his hand, "Please, he's my life."

She lost her grip as they pushed him down the hall, Eda watched until she couldn't see him any longer. She needed to call Aydan to let her know.

Eda sat in the waiting room, "Anne?" was all she got out before she started to sob.

"Edacim what happened? Take a deep breath, talk to me."

"They took Serkan to surgery, it isn't a tumor it's an aneurysm. He has to have it operated on right now. That was why he was having headaches. There's no guarantee he'll make it through surgery."

She heard Aydan's gasp on the other end of the phone, "He'll make it Edacim, he has too much to live for. Seyfi and I will bring Kiraz and come to the hospital to wait with you."

The four of them began their long vigil, Melo joined them halfway through with Engin, Pyril and Leyla. Eda had been waiting for over five hours with no word from the OR, she had finished feeding Kiraz and was walking the hallway with her when she stopped by the nurses station.

"Do you know how my husband's surgery is going? Serkan Bolat? Is there a way I can find out?"

"Let me check for you, wait here," the nurse bustled over to the OR doors and disappeared.

Eda waited and waited for the nurse to return, she came back, "I'm sorry . . . . . . . " Eda heard nothing beyond the I'm sorry.

The nurse saw that the young woman carrying the baby was fainting and rushed forward to catch both of them, "A little help here!" she called. Another nurse ran forward and they were able to get Eda to a chair while a third nurse took Kiraz. The second nurse broke out the alcohol and ran it under Eda's nose to revive her. It took a few moments for Eda to come around, when she did she burst into tears.

"My husband?"

The nurse hurried to finish her sentence, "I meant to say that I'm sorry it took me so long, they're getting ready to close and the surgeon should be out in about thirty minutes to talk to you. He said everything went well and that there was no loss of blood flow to the brain."

Eda let out the breath the she had been holding, "Thank you. He's our everything you know," she took Kiraz back from the other nurse and headed back to the waiting room for the surgeon.

Pyril had left but Engin remained as did Melo and Leyla. A new visitor had come, Ayfer had joined the group. She walked up to Eda and folded her into a hug, "I'm sorry Eda, I've been a horrible person. Serkan has been nothing but kind towards me and I couldn't not be here."

Eda hugged her hala back with one arm, "It's about time hala. It's about time. This is Kiraz, your great niece, if you like you can hold her for a while."

Ayfer took Kiraz and walked over to Aydan and Seyfi to extend her apologies to them as well.

Eda walked up to Melo and hugged her, "Thank you my friend, I know that you called her and I don't know what you said but thank you."

It was almost an hour before the surgeon appeared in the waiting room, "The Bolat family?"

Eda popped up from her chair, "I'm his wife. How is he? How is Serkan."

"We were very lucky that he came in today for the CAT scan, that aneurysm was at the point of rupture. If that had happened there would have been nothing we could have done. He'll be in ICU for a little bit but I can take you back to the recovery room right now before they move him up if you like. He's a bit groggy."

"Anne, hala? Can you watch Kiraz I'll be right back," Eda followed the surgeon to recovery anxious to see Serkan with her own two eyes.

"He won't thank us for his hairstyle for the next month or so but it's better than the alternative," chuckled the doctor.

"Serkan can wear a hat if it bothers him but his hair grows fast so I'm not worried."

"Here he is, we'll move him in about ten minutes."

Eda walked over to Serkan, his head was fully bandaged, he had wires coming from underneath the bandage and from his chest. She reached out and smoothed her hand on his cheek before kissing him. Serkan's eyes fluttered, "An angel."

"You are loopy if you think I'm an angel my love. I can finally breathe again seeing you. I was so scared."

"Who are you?" he whispered.

Eda frowned at him and got close, "Not even funny Serkan Bolat."

He smiled a loopy half-smile, "Love you Eda Bolat."

"That's more like it," she kissed him again and rested her cheek against his. "I'm going to stay with you as much as possible."

"No honey take care of Kiraz, I'm okay."

The nurses came in to start his transfer to ICU, Eda gave him another kiss and said, "We'll see."

Between Eda and Aydan someone was with Serkan at all times. Eda couldn't be there all the time because Kiraz had to be fed and had a schedule. Melo helped as much as she could and Leyla pitched in too. When Serkan was moved to a private room Eda requested a bassinet and they moved in.

Serkan and Eda were reclining in his hospital bed the night before he was supposed to be discharged. Eda was feeding him some chocolate ice cream while Kiraz slept away next to them.

"No more medical dramas Serkan, this one just about did me in."

"Me too honey. It did make me think though. If the cancer come back I'm fighting it no matter what. When I had to say goodbye to you before surgery it made me think that I needed all the time with you that I could have. If I need to fight then I'll fight."

Eda set the ice cream to the side and wound her arms around him, "That's all I want baby, forever with you."

"I'll give it my all honey."

"Just remember Serkan, together we can do hard things. So I'm going to give my all too because forever might not be long enough."

"I love you Eda Yildiz."

"I love you Serkan Bolat, always have, always will."