"Auntie, look what I can do!"
"You are going to fall."
"Never!"
*Crack*
"Told you."
*
"Auntie, can we go on dragons back?"
"After the baby's born, we will"
"Yyyeesss!!"
*
"You'll still love me? Even with the baby?"
"I'll never stop loving you, little dragon. Not for one second."
*
"When I'll grow up, I'll be a dragon rider, just like daddy ! And I'll protect you, mummy,granny and Jaehaera !"
*
*screams*
*
Nightmare make Alyssa wakes up with tears in her eyes.
When she opens her eyes, she sees her sister, finally sleeping but still holding her hand tidly. She's looking at Aemond behind her, he's awake and seems not having any sleep.
He notices his sister and look sadly at her before nodding behind her.
Aegon's grip on her got tider.
"You still should be sleeping, my love."
"Couldn't...Already enough."
"44 minutes is not enough."
"You checked time?"
"Ever since you both fall asleep."
"I don't even know how I managed to fall asleep..."
"Milk of the poppy and fatigue must have helped." says Aegon kissing the back of her neck
"You should both sleep too..."
"No, we're good, we're keeping an eye on you."
"And you couldn't find sleep"
"We won't tell you."
"None of you is responsible. You're not guilty"
"I am." Says Aemond
"No you're not. Daemon is responsible. Rhaenyra is responsible. Father is responsible for all of this. I won't let you believe you're guilty of anything."
"They took my son because I took their's."
"For you, it's was an accident. For them, it was a murder...nearly two or three."
Both her and Aegon's hand got tider on her belly.
Helaena shakes a bit in her sleep. Aemond looks at her face and kisses her temple, calming her instantly.
Alyssa smiles at this sight.
Aemond always said he was ready to do his duty by marrying. But she always knew that, Heleana was the one he always wanted. No duty, no sacrifice, only pure love.
"She needs to sleep, as long as possible."
"You too" replies Aegon
"I'm fine. I just need to do something, to change my minds... Besides, Jaehaera needs someone to watch over her."
Aemond closes his eyes at the mention of his daughter, as if blaming himself for forgetting her for a moment.
Alyssa sees him and strokes his arm. "Don't blame yourself, brother. Take care of Heleana, I'll take care of your daughter. I'll do my best."
"Thanks..."
"You and Heleana would have done the same for us."
"I'm going to visit mother and I'll call the council to inform them."
"Thank you my love. I'll visit her too at one point."
"Don't exhaust yourself." says Aemond
"I'll try, I promess."
------------------------------------------------------------------
For the last hours, Alyssa observed Jaehaera.
The little girl walks in the garden, gently observing a few plants but without vivacity. Just yesterday she was running in this same garden, looking for a butterfly for her mother.
Alyssa knew yesterday's scene would stick in her mind. At this idea, rage rose in her.
Daemon and Rhaenyra destroyed a family but more than anything, the spirit of a little one who asked for nothing...one more. And they took the life of a lively little boy...
She decides to pull herself together. And be the person her niece need, the person she needed as a child.
"Jaehaera, come my angel."
The little girl walks slowly towards her, her face expressionless. Alyssa takes her on her knees.
"We'll talk a bit, ok. If something bothers you or you don't want to talk about it, you tell me, okay?"
The little girl nods her head gently.
"Yesterday you saw things a little girl shouldn't have seen. I wish you'd never see that in your whole life."
She strokes her hair. "It was violent and it was unfair. You have the right to be sad. You lost your brother. They had no right to take him from you, that's a fact."
"He won't come back...? He left..." Jaehaera asks in his small voice.
"He's not coming back, yes. But he's not totally gone."
The little girl gives her a look of incomprehension.
Alyssa smiled sweetly at her.
"He can't be completely gone because he remains in your heart, in mine, in your parents', of Uncle Aegon, of Grandma,... And as long as we keep him in our hearts, Jaehaerys will stay with us." Her nephew's name comes out a little in a strangled voice. It's the first time she's pronounces it since his death.
"Can't talk to him anymore...." she cries lightly.
"You can talk to him. He'll just find new ways to answer you, you'll just have to watch."
"How do you know?"
"Because...when I was little, younger than you, I lost two people too. I didn't know them that well. But I know they never really left me."
"Who was it?"
"My mother and my twin brother."
"What's a twin brother?"
"A brother who was born at the same time as me."
"Ok....But your mother is granny, isn't she?"
"Yes and no. In fact I have two mothers. One who gave birth to me and one who raised and loved me. Granny is the second one"
She nods. Alyssa smiled softly and kiss the top of her head as she thought that was a lot of information for such a small girl.
"Do you want to talk to me about how you feel? Do you have any questions?"
Jaehaera thinks, playing with her fingers. She really looks like Helaena like that.
"The wicked men....will they come back?"
Alyssa caresses her cheek. "No. We're going to do everything so that they don't come back and above all, that all the bad guys are punished for what they did. One has already been punished."
"Really?"
"Yes. I swear it."
"Mommy and granny will heal?"
"Healing is hard. But I'm sure they will get better. We are strong women in the family."
Jaehaera smiles softly
"You know...Daddy won't say it...but you know auntie...I think he too is vewy hurt."
She smiled at him. "Yes, I know, but you know what can help him heal?"
"What?"
"Big hugs!"
Jaehaera laughs. "Yes daddy loves big hugs!"
She jumps from her aunt's lap. "Let's go?"
"Where's to my angel?"
"Give dad a big hug! And mommy too!" Alyssa laughs. Children have this ability to bounce
"Not now my angel. They need to rest a bit more. But in a couple of days, I'll take you to see them."
"OK." She says in a sad voice.
"Here she is, the most beautiful flower of the seven kingdoms." Alyssa turns to the voice and sees Otto standing near them.
"Gramp-Gramp!" said Jaehaera smiling
He approached to take her in his arms. We heard the old man relieved by this embrace.
"I missed you my little flower. How are you?"
"I'm in pain... but auntie helps me to have less pain."
"I see. You're lucky to have such an aunt."
"Yes!"
"Besides, I'd like to talk to her too. Can you let me talk to her? And if you wish, we'll go and visit the horses afterwards?"
"Oh yes!" He put her on the ground and the little girl moves away a bit, playing with her toys.
Otto sit down next to Alyssa and gently takes her hand. "How are you my dear?"
"I do my best. How about you?"
"I suffer the consequences of my actions."
"What do you mean?"
"I am responsible for this situation... If I hadn't pushed my daughter to marry the King... she wouldn't be in such pain today..."
"You couldn't have foreseen this. No one could have."
She leaves a silence, afraid to ask the question. After a few seconds, she does.
"How is she?" Alyssa asks
"She withdrew into herself, curled up in a corner of the room."
"I should go see her."
"You should not. You can't see her like that. Besides, we had to give her something to put her to sleep."
Alyssa was surprised and worried. "Why?"
"She's not herself anymore, she attacks anyone who approaches her. She tried to attack Aegon earlier."
Alyssa covers her mouth in shock.
"Why? It's her son."
"She thinks she's responsible for all this, she thinks she's destroying everything she touches. If only she could see the truth, I'm the one destroying everything I touch..."
Alyssa shakes her hand "Don't say that!"
"It's the truth, I destroyed my wife, my daughter, my grandchildren and now...my great-grandchildren." He turns his gaze to Jaehaera as he says these last words.
"Do not condemn yourselves for the actions of Daemon and Rhaenyra, they..."
"It was my ambition that led to all of this." he cuts her."And theirs, and Viserys' bad choices. Listen...yes you have ambition, you are a Lord. All Lords would have dreamed of seeing their daughter marry the King and give him a son."
She pauses.
"But if you had been so ambitious, you would have wiped out Rhaenyra and me. You had the power to do that. You didn't do any of that. On the contrary you gave me a mother and you always treated like a member of your family. You gave me a family, Otto. I can't let you blame yourself for what others have done."
"I will always feel guilty."
"The guilt must change sides..."
She stops, feeling her baby move. Otto sees his surprise.
"Everything's alright?"
"Yes..I...I realize that I haven't felt my baby move yet, since..."
"That's great news! A sign that your baby is healthy" He told her, smiling in relief.
Alyssa sighs, relieved. She caresses her belly, causing new movements in response.
Otto places his hands on Alyssa's shoulders.
"You need to rest now. You really need it."
"Certainly..."
"I'll take care of Jaehaera for the next few hours. Don't worry."
"Thanks ..."
"Thank you, for your words. I'm lucky to have you as my bonus granddaughter."
"As I'm lucky to have you as my grandsire."
Otto smiles softly and then turns to the child.
"Jaehaera! Let's not make the horses wait!"
"Yes" she said running into his arms. He picked her up quickly.
He smiled at the child before bowing to Alyssa.
"My queen."
"Lord Grandsire." she smiles in response
Otto starts walking back when Jaehaera exclaims. "Wait, wait!"
She holds out her arms to her aunt. Alyssa takes her from Otto's arms, surprised.
Jaehaera hugs her tightly in his little arms. "You too are in pain, so you need a big hug."
"Thank you my little angel."
Alyssa lets out two tears as she hugs her.
"No matter what, I'll always be here. If you need to tell me anything, come see me. Ok?" she whispers to her.
"Yes." Jaehaera lets go of the hug and looks her aunt in the eye, chuckling childishly before giving her a big kiss on the cheek. She joins her great grandsire's arms and waves her hand.
Alyssa sees Ser Harrold's arm reaching out beside her.
"My queen."
"You don't have to Ser Harrold, I'm fine."
"My Queen was attacked just last night and is, let me put up with her as best I can."
Alyssa breathes softly, giving in. "Okay"
She puts her hand on Ser Harrold's arm.
"Shall I take you back to your new apartments?"
"Yes, but first, I would like to go to the crypt first..."
"I don't think it's a good idea. That might do a lot for you. You should rest."
"I could hear my husband"
"Forgive me if I overstep the bounds."
"No, don't apologize, I appreciate your honesty." She smiles at him. "I need to see them."
"As you wish my Queen."
----
Once inside the crypt, Alyssa took a moment to observe this place she had never visited.
After a few moments, she moved forward, slowly, observing each stone, each grave, each epitaph. She stopped in front of a stone.
"Is that where they are?"
"Yes my Queen."
She approaches and touches the oldest inscriptions with her fingertip.
Aemma Arryn - beloved wife of Viserys 1st
Baelon Targaryen - beloved son of Viserys 1st
She observes the more recent one above: Viserys 1st Targaryen - The peaceful
Alyssa sneers "The peaceful....he was more of a war maker." she says between her teeth.
Ser Harrold says nothing. Alyssa turns abruptly and goes on her way without really knowing where she is going.
She arrives in a large room where there are already a few Silent Sisters. They move away when they see her.Seeing the two tables, Alyssa realizes she's in the right place.
She approaches slowly and stands between the two tables. The two tables were occupied by two bodies she knew well.
On her right, her faithful Talia, the one who had been with her for so many years. This cheerful young girl no longer wore her smile. She was white and a large scar ran across her throat.
On her left, a small body whose upper part is covered with a white sheet. Alyssa could still see that this body had no head. She took her nephew's small hand in hers. His hand is cold and hard. On her other hand, she notices spots of blueberries. She smiles sadly. He must have stolen some cakes after dinner.
She heard Ser Harrold clear his throat and turned her head slightly towards him.
"My Queen, the Silent Sisters must proceed."
She nods and looks at her nephew again. "They didn't find it?"
"No..."
"They force us to send him to the gods, incomplete..." She closes her eyes in rage.
She opens them again and kisses her nephew's hand.
"I'll never stop loving you, little dragon. Not for one second...And we will punish those who did this to you. I swore it in front of your sister and I swear it to you."
She gently lowers her hand and turns to Talia. "I want to pay for her funeral."
"Yes my Queen."
"And that her wages go to her parents."
"It will be done my Queen."
She whispers softly, "Let's get out of here."
They take the way out.
As soon as they go out, Alyssa lets her tears flow.
"My Queen..." says Ser Harrold
"Sorry, sorry...I...I just need a few seconds to..." she begins to sob.
Without knowing why, she threw herself against Ser Harrold's chest.
He is surprised but after a few seconds, he hugs his Queen.
"It's hard my Queen, I know that. You've taken a lot lately. Let it go."
Alyssa cries harder.
"You've been holding on for so long."
Ser Harrold gently runs his hand over her hair.
"I'll take you back to your apartments, you need to rest." She nods and Ser Harrold picks her up in his arms.
Alyssa slowly lets herself be carried away by her tears, wanting to forget everything.