X/16/1X
It's been awhile since I've written in this journal again. It feels rather...odd but, firstly, I'm no longer in middle school, by next week, I'll be in high school. Although I won't be a freshman nor a sophomore. The school and the teachers tested my knowledgeable ability. I happened to surpass every grade but fell just at the Senior level. So, I'll be the youngest senior student within the academy. There have been rumors going around about my transfer as well as my...looks. Really, the only reason I was able to surpass everything despite being in a competitive educational system, is because our father taught me everything I needed to know 2 years ago. When I first met him.
Before, I couldn't break through his weakest barrier, thus the start of my training doubling in levels. But now, as a young 15 year old, father told me I can easily beat 90% of the awakened ones of his world. I've come to break his strongest barrier in under 24 hours. Even so, our fathers health is now showing visible signs of deterioration. He's not getting any better despite the amount of research I'm doing to help him live a little longer.
It'll improve but get even worse afterwards. It...it scares me. These 2 years of training with him have shown me just how great of a father he is. But knowing our father will pass, if not today, tomorrow, if not tomorrow, next year, at any time. Scares me. Sehyun has yet to meet him, let alone ever seeing him as a father, but for me, he's proved himself. Protecting us in the state he is in while accepting the fact we could hate him for the rest of our lives, is not easy. Nothing he's done has been an easy decision.
Which is why, I'm debating on giving him some of my life essence. Something I happened to find out about after experimenting with this thing he calls, "force control". Force control holds the impossibility of making greater aspects of an awakened one's ability. It can create the things that we, as humans, could only imagine into reality. I may be too young to understand the full implications of force control, so, as of now, and as my last journal entry of my middle school life of meeting the one father we have, I give you my future research regarding force control and the things I've found out during my high school life. And, quite possibly, my university life.
Sehyun, I ask you to keep whatever is written within my 4th journal as hushed as you possibly can. Burn it, if you wish. I'm young right now. But the more I learn and the older I get, I know how dangerous it'll be for you to learn from my research. Our fathers life is the only reason I'm considering diving deeper into this force control, awakened ones, supernatural powers rabbit hole.
This, and the very possibility of making you, my younger brother, an awakened one as well. This is something both father and I have decided after a long time of debating. Once we learn how to safely awaken you, we will have to keep you in the dark a little longer. Please understand.
Then, see you in the next journal, my adorable little dongsaeng. From here on out, it'll be quite the bumpy ride.
...
That was the last journal entry in hyungs 2nd journal. Although I have been training with hyungs 3rd, more like a training manual, but without proper explanation or demonstration, as well as the fact I have no sparring partner to practice on, I've halted in my progress. So, as I sat here finishing up my hashbrowns and eggs, I came to a conclusion. I'll use the upcoming amounts of sparring matches in the future to figure out what I need to work on. To figure out what I'd do differently in a fight. How I'd do it. Predict the movements of the other person. And more. After all, it's not like I can just hop in asking for an awakened one to give me their best shot knowing well I'm seen as a regular human.
That and...
I looked to Inhyuk who also finished his plate then to Seongha who did the same. Both chatting for a little bit. Giwook mentioned a test that managers-in-training have to take. Yet, I never heard of it let alone was told I had to take a test in it. I clenched my hands into fists. They decided for me. They, once again, used Kains fathers influence to get me a position that could've been better used for someone who truly deserved it. For the first time, I felt extremely disappointed in Inhyuk and Seongha. Was Kains father so powerful that Shinhwa practically bowed down to his every whim? When I first met him, he was intimidating but not to the point of doing anything and everything for him.
"Are you ready?" Giwook spoke to me, noticing how my stoic expression deepened into a frown. I looked up, pursing my lips. Then I looked away. "Let me brush my hair first" scooting the chair back, I got up, walking into my bathroom. Brushing out Kains perfectly silky shiny soft hair. Once I walked out, I bowed to Inhyuk and Seongha, bidding them goodbye before catching up to Giwook who waited for me ahead.
"We'll be meeting with the unaffiliated awakened students soon. I'm not sure how they'll react to a non awakener...helping me chaperone them but they wouldn't do anything rash with me around" he assured, his huge muscular back turned to me. I gulped. Having a guilt feeling bubble up from the pits of my stomach. How dare I think so...vile of him when he's just right there- but then again, Giwook is way more attractive in person than I thought he'd be.
"Did you hear me Kain?" He addressed, turning his head to the side just to catch my body flinching once we made eye contact. "Y-yes?" I answered quite confusingly. Although we continued to walk, he only squinted his eyes before looking forward again. "You're a lot different than what I heard about you" he spoke, opening the door for me as I passed through, watching his every movement cause his muscles to flex. Even the tiniest ones had my eyes on them. "How so?" Curiously, I asked, tearing my sights on his abdomen. "Once Inhyuk and Seongha mentioned you to be a chaperone. All the other members spat out word for word of how cruel, humiliating, rude, and disrespectful you are. Yet, seeing you in person, I can hardly comprehend what they say is true" I gulped.
Of course Kain is everything they described. It's just that...he's slightly different now. "They're not wrong" I said, running into Giwook back as soon as he halted in his steps, waiting for me to continue. "Uhm...before. I hated awakened ones because I couldn't be the same. You know my father, everyone seems to, as a great awakened one. But I failed him because I wasn't awakened...until recently I finally came to terms that having powers isn't everything. Awakened or not, I should be grateful I'm alive and even treated specially. To be able to know about an awakened one's existence is already amazing. So, I changed for the better! At least...I hope I did..." After that last sentence came out, the guilt of checking out Giwook was flowing with another type of guilt. The guilt of lying consistently. About being Kain, about the change, about not being awakened. A lot of it continues to hit me pretty hard. But, like any other, I'll get used to it eventually.
"...I think it is for the better, '' Giwook said, earning my attention as I looked up just to widen my eyes. Giwook hand was placed on top of my head, lightly ruffling my hair like he's petting a dog. I blushed. "I'm glad. When I took up Inhyuk and Seonghas offer, I wondered if I made the right choice. But you're not as bad as I thought" he smiled lightly. Removing his hand to walk away when I automatically grasped his fingers, not wanting his warmth to leave so soon. He turned back, raising a brow. Quite shocked. "Oh! S-sorry-" I panicked, immediately letting go of him. "It's fine" then, brushing it off, Giwook walked through the doors, entering the building where the other students were already lined up.
His walk showed his respectable aura. As I, rather shyly, followed behind him with a flushed face. Mostly because I couldn't believe I just up and grabbed him like that. That was extremely rude and unexpected of me. The only person I've ever done such a thing to was my hyung but even then, it was because he's my brother. Giwook, I met about an hour ago and I'm already craving his warmth and touch. It's humiliating. But then, looking back up to Giwooks huge back, I couldn't help but awe at him. He's amazing.
"Nice to meet you all. My name is Giwook Jang, and I'll be your instructor throughout this academy" he announced, voice booming throughout the huge training arena. My eyes scanned the entire place, whistling out at how big it is. If this is just an unaffiliated arena, I could only imagine how much bigger and better the affiliated arena could be. "This is my assistant" but my admiration was cut short when Giwook stepped to the side, revealing me, standing there, dumbfounded. I had thought Giwook wouldn't even acknowledge me to the awakened since I'm not one but, surprisingly, he did. "Hello, my name is Kain Hua, it's nice to meet you all" in my kindest voice I could muster, I bowed, greeting everyone. My smile modestly plastered onto Kains handsome face causing many of the students to stare quite a bit. Some showed a light pink on their cheeks and others furrowed their brows. Probably not used to seeing such a beautifully handsome young man before.
"Before we start '' but their attention shifted to Giwook again, who stood in front of me in order to block me from their sights. Taken aback, I took a single step back because he walked in so close, if I leaned forward my lips would touch his back. And the last thing I needed was my intrusive thoughts winning as I looked away. Then my eyes landed on Jiwoo who smiled widely once we made eye contact. He waved. I smiled back, although a little as I bowed in response. Then, Wooins eyes turned to me. He blinked. And I blushed. Looking away. I'm in the same room as the two people I found attractive. It's...it's overwhelming to say the least.
"There's something you guys must keep in mind. While you're in here, what I say goes. This applies to Kain as well" Giwook spoke, eyes scanning all 6 children standing at attention. "And don't think of yourself as special...Since you guys are at the very bottom of the pyramid here..." everyone remained silent. I gulped. Turning to see their reactions. Although I've always known unaffiliated awakened ones were deemed "worthless", now that I've seen and experienced a bit of it in person, it felt a lot more intense knowing, despite having superiority over regular humans like me, they're nothing in the world they belong. It made me wonder about my hyung. How he'd stand above everyone on this island right now. Yet holding a non-awakener precious. My hyungs very existence would've turned the awakened world upside down.
Because of how young he was but he was strong, and I dare say, possibly stronger than Jiyoung and Kains father. That much I knew.
Then my eyes blinked, flashing awake again after spacing out to see a boy staring right at me. I smiled a bit. A kind gesture when he nervously looked away and back at Giwook. I know him. The boy that can analyze a situation fast, then make speedy decisions on what to do.
To be honest, out of all the unaffiliated awakened ones I read in the comic, this boy caught my attention the most. Why? Because his power wasn't a regular supernatural force, rather, his was unique to me. Thinking of this, I couldn't help the forced smile on my face softening into an admirable smirk, causing the said boy to lose his train of thought. Everyone else also shifted once they noticed how I gazed at him.
Jiwoo and Wooin, in particular, looked between me and the boy, both wondering what's happening there.
"Now each of you, tell me what your awakened powers are" Giwook, completely oblivious to what's happening, spoke up. The tall, slim, red head boy started. "I can enhance my strength and lift about 200 pounds with one hand" he said quite proudly. The girl with blonde and yellow eyes went next. "My power is psychokinesis. I can move one adult with ease" her voice came out cheery as well, although not as prideful. "I can enhance my strength and body enough to withstand external shocks. As well as lift 200 pounds with one hand and won't be injured too badly when hit by a car" the bigger muscled young man with grayish blue hair spoke. All the other students awed at his introduction, since someone as strong as him isn't commonly found within the unaffiliated community.
"U-uhm- I..." then the smaller, shyer one started to talk, fidgeting and nervous. His eyes remained on the ground. "...I can perceive and analyze the situation quickly..." he finished. "Pfft" then someone tutted out a laugh. Making his nervous face flush in red, embarrassed. My eyes immediately glared at the other students who looked at him a bit mockingly. "What kind of power is that?" One of them questioned, probably curious as to how it worked. Although I knew that much, I couldn't help but look back at the young man. I Wanted to say something but couldn't. Rather, I remained silent. Backing up again when Giwook addressed the students looking down on him.
"And why are you laughing?" His tone came out stern and strong. "This kind of awakened power is better suited for a group than some half-baked combat powers" his strict eyes moved between the students, making sure they listened. That, they did. All looked down, now nervous for themselves. "Awakened ones these days don't just fight in combat but has a strong influence on society and run many businesses" but as he spoke, he turned towards me, giving them full access to gaze upon myself when he gestured to Kain. "Kain is an example of that. He's currently a manager-in-training, a job far more difficult than you awakened ones who have your powers. He's going to one day, be in charge or running a branch of business within the awakened community. While also acting as a bridge between awakened one's and non awakened ones" I flinched, eyes widening as I turned to everyone standing before me. Jiwoo and Wooin smiled a bit, impressed while the others grimaced. Finally finding out that Kain isn't actually awakened, but a normal human.
It set their respects for him far below. Except the boy whose power can analyze.
This sent shivers down my spine. Seeing how they immediately changed their demeanor towards me once having found out I'm nothing special like them. At least, until my eyes found Jiwoos again. His brightened eyes continued to sparkle upon our connected eyes. This...relaxed me. Jiwoo has known I'm not awakened since the beginning and yet...it warmed my heart. Who cares if they see me as someone below them? Jiwoo and Wooin, they're nothing like that. But...my smile faltered. I shouldn't get used to them. Not now, not ever.
I looked away, clenching my hands into fists and pursing my lips. Jiwoos smile halted, noticing my change. He looked at Wooin who only shrugged. Also quite worried about my sudden reaction.
"Next" but Jiwoo flinched after hearing Giwook call him. He bowed a bit. "I'm sorry but I can't tell you what my awakened power is" he said, hoping it wouldn't hurt Giwooks authority or cause a problem. All the other students stared at him, shocked. Giwook said nothing for a while until Jiwoo started to nervously give an explanation as to why. "I-I was told that I shouldn't tell others about my power.." he said. Keeping his eyes to the ground. "I know the rules. You don't have to remind me." Giwooks stern voice made everyone in the room sweat. Out of habit, I reached over and grabbed his arm, grabbing his attention. He turned to me for a moment, expression as stoic as ever until he reached over and lightly brushed off my hand. Once again, I gasped, yanking my hand off him and moving away.
All the things I've done to my hyung, I have been accidentally doing to Giwook. Maybe it was because of the tense air around but, after my little interference, the mood within the room lightened a little. Even though it wasn't something I necessarily needed to step in for. It was because it's Jiwoo. Automatically having a soft spot for him. I didn't want Jiwoo to get scolded so, I...
"Sorry" I whispered enough for Giwook to hear. He turned back to Jiwoo who remained faced down and silent. "What difference does it make if you don't tell us what your awakened power is? Do you really think your power is that special compared to the others?" Giwook questioned him. Hearing no response. He continued. "Listen kid, it's wiser to disclose your power now and learn than hide it. Besides, people will find out your power while you remain in this academy anyway" I sighed hearing him. It's true.
Although I heard him in a whole different context compared to the other students. Rather, I heard the fact that I can't hide my power forever. Eventually, whether I like it or not, it'll be revealed to the world. If I remain near these awakened ones...I'll expose myself. I've already made two mistakes but was lucky enough to not be caught but there is no telling if my next mistake will be brushed off like the last. Which is why I need to leave. Without gaining the suspicion of Kains father at least.
"I'm aware of that too. I don't consider my power to be special compared to the others but I don't want to disappoint the ones who taught me to hide my awakened power as much as possible" Jiwoo finished. All the other students silently judged him, either applauding his bravery or straight up thinking he's crazy. "Not bad. You are an awakened one after all. Fine, I'll respect your choice. But you still refused to do as I said" he crossed his arms. Viewing Jiwoo in an entirely different light after his statements. "Run 20 laps here" he demanded. "Yes sir!!" And Jiwoo happily obliged. Dashing as soon as he could. Looking around the area, I could say it's double the size of a running track. Even I, who loves running, couldn't help but feel the impending exhaustion from 20 laps around a massive building.
"And where are you going?" Giwook questioned Wooin who shuffled to follow Jiwoo. "I'm sorry but I can't tell you either" He said, dashing away and catching up to Jiwoo.
Meanwhile, I watched Giwook watching them. After the little bit of emotional empathy for myself, I decided to just gaze at Giwook the rest of the time. Listening to his honey sweet voice thumping at my heart. I'm not sure how much time passed when Jiwoo and Wooin finally came back, but my view only had Giwook in it. Every now and then, he'd glance at me, doing a double take as if wondering why I'm observing him so intensely but what can I say? Giwooks hot. And I need to admire him for longer. Since I don't know when I'll ever be able to see him again once I leave this academy and officallly, the awakened world.
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A/n: 💀 y'all we still at the beginning of this arc and ON ONE CHAPTER OF THIS MANWHA WJXHEJDJWJD also it's been awhile since we got Eunwoos Journal entry??? Since ch 12??? Damn- anyways- UPLOADED AHAH HOPE YOU LIKE IT-
Kain when Giwook: