where do I fit in
when the whole
world made plans
without me?
@thewearythoughts
SUNOO'S POV
I met the members in practice room today and they seems nice. They all tired making me feel comfortable and even offered to teach me some hard dance steps during their free time.
Even though I met Yang just few hours ago, but I felt so comfortable with him. Maybe it's because we are close in age.
Hoon and Hee seems like those people who don't really like putting their nose in other people's business.
Jake and Jay seems like goofy ones. They are like cat and dog. Never quiet in each other's company.
And Niki, he seems mysterious and dark person. Someone who is always observing things silently and I feel like I should keep my distance from him if I don't want to get in trouble.
When the team two reached home, our manager summon us in the living room to arrange room for us.
Currently, Hee and Hoon are in one room, Jay and Jake are roommate. But Yang and Niki have their own room. The older ones are sharing room because Hoon and Jay can't sleep alone as they are scared of darkness. So Hee and Jake volunteered to be their roommates.
We need a spare room or I need to be roomie with either Niki or Yang. If I have to chose a roommate I will prefer Yang. I can't imagine sleeping in the same room as Niki.
I feel like he won't be pleasant. He seems distant and dejected.. These days I need some sort of positive vibes around me to keep going and Niki is definitely not the one.
''Sunoo, there is no any spare room for you to sleep.''
''You have to share room either with Yang or Niki.'' Manager Sejin said.
''I would like to share room with Yang if he doesn't have any problem.'' I said.
Yang hesitate for a moment but he seems ok with the idea.
''My room is the smallest one. It can be congested but if we adjust well together, it will be fun.'' Yang said while rubbing the back of his neck.
''I am ok with tiny space.'' I replied to Yang's concern.
''Ok, then it's settled. Yang and Sunoo will be roommates from today onwards.'' Manager Sejin said.
''But how will that tiny space hold two person along with their luggage.'' Niki retorted.
''If they are ok with it, there is no problem.... Manager Sejin was saying.
''My room is twice the size of Yang, why can't Sunoo settle in my room?'' Niki angrily said without letting manager finished his statement.
''Yeah, we can consider that too , but let Sunoo make his choice.''
''I was too scared to voice out my opinion. So I pointed my finger to Yang.''
Yang look happy for a second but right after making eye contact with Niki, he looks confused and kind of frightened.
'' Yeah, Niki is right, you will be better off at his room. You will have your own bed, cupboard and space too. I think it will be little uncomfortable for both of us in my room as my room is as small as the size of pea.'' Yang said while looking at Niki.
I kept quiet and didn't make a hint to move.
''I don't bite, you know, Niki said while taking some of my bags towards the direction of his room.
I look at the direction of Manager and Yang, both of them are looking at floor not able to maintain eye contact with me.
So I gave up fighting as no one seems to confront Niki.
I picked up my bags and followed the tall guy.
He open the door of his room which is located at the second floor and held the door open for me.
It was massive in size. No any messy design. Aesthetic and minimalistic. There was these calm smell of something like wood.
The floor was dark wood and the walls are painted in grey color. No paintings, no indoor plants just few books on the table near his bed. His room is so like him. Cold and isolate.
But to my amaze, there is two of every essentials things. Two bed but different in size, two cupboards at the headend of each bed, two nightstand with table lamps, two indoor slippers, two cloth hanger.
As if he was sharing room with someone, but that idea seems illogical as every extra pair seems so brand new and too clean to be called used one.
Maybe they have already decided that I will be his roommate. ''But what the hell was that in the living room, the meeting, giving me an option?'' It seems strange .
He put my bags near a bed and sat on the other bed typing something on his mobile.
I just stood there looking at my surrounding and trying to get familiar with the environment.
''That is your space, your cupboard, your study table and everything and this side is mine.'' he said while pointing at the bed he was sitting on.
''Yang's room is small. It is fully occupied with his clothes and things. There won't be a comfortable space for you, so it's better for you to get adjust in this room even if you don't like me at the moment.'' He said without looking from his phone.
''Okay, thank you.... I replied.
I don't know if he heard me or not as he didn't say anything in return.
I unzip my bags and started unpacking my things. I kept the folded clothes in my cupboard,hang some casual wears on the cloth hanger and put my small collections of books on the table.
I am nearly done but need to find space for my shoes and eatables which mom has packed even after telling her not to, so I looked at his direction and he seems busy doing something on his phone.
''Hyung, where am I supposed to keep these shoes and food?''
''Shoes goes on the shoe rag and food in the refrigerator.''
But there was only one shoe rag and one medium refrigerator. I don't know if I am supposed to share with him, so I just open the refrigerator and it was almost empty, there was lots of mineral water and some skin care products. No any eatables in sight.
I somehow made my space and kept my food there and for the shoes there was an empty bar and I kept all of my shoes there.
Now all my clothes, books are settled except for me. I don't know how it is going to be as I have never share my room with any people before
. He is going to be around me most of the hours. Sooner or later he is going to witness my inside turmoil and I don't want to disclose myself to him.
I went inside the washroom to take bath as I was sweaty from all those dance practices and did my skin care routines just like she taught me. Now I feel like I won't see her much infront of me or maybe she will stop talking to me inside my head. I don't know but I am not ready to separate from her so soon.
As I was thinking of her, tears started forming and I tried my best not to shed a single drop. After many months, I looked at myself on the mirror for a very long time and I saw someone whom I don't recognize anymore.
He has same hazel brown eyes as mine but his eyes looks sadder and same nose, some lips ,same hairstyles but he looks like someone who have given up on life.
If I was the bright energy and sunshine for people, he looks like setting sun and weak candle who will cease to give light if someone just give a single blow.
As I was staring at himself, I heard a weak knock on the door and I opened it after fixing my emotions.
''Dinner is ready, come down in five minutes or there won't be any delicious food left.'' Niki said.
I changed my clothes and went down to kitchen for dinner. Everyone is present there and some people have already started eating.
''There is tteokbokki, bibimpap, kimbap and some kimchi, what do you prefer?'' Niki asked while giving me a plate and spoon.
''I want tteokbokki only'' I said and sit on a empty seat near Yang while waiting for my food.
Niki passed me my plate and it was filled with tteokbokki but there are few kimbap and meat as well. I said nothing and started digging on my food as I was super hungry.
''Do you like his room?'' Manager asked in a hushed voice and I nodded.
''He may seem cold and distant from the outside but he has the purest heart and intentions, just give him some time.'' Manger Sejin said these words near my ear to prevent from eavesdropping.
After hearing those comforting words from Manager, I glanced at his direction and he was already staring at our direction with a scowl on his face.
I thought manager nim is very bad at judging people. He don't look neither pure nor friendly. If a kid has to select a person to play with, he will be the last choice.
''Do you prefer spicy food or sweet ones?'' Yang asked.
''I like spicy food more than sweet ones.'' I said and we talked about each other food preferences, movies, sports, songs for another thirty minutes.
By the time we stood from our seat, it was mostly empty. Jay was washing dishes and I helped him drying those dishes whereas Yang cleaned the dinning table.
After cleaning the table we called it a night and went to each other's room.
Niki was already in his bed but rather than sleeping he was watching an anime with his spectacles on. That was quite a sight to see. He was so engrossed in his anime that he didn't see me entering the room.
I quietly went to my bed by picking my half read book from the nightstand and started reading from where I have left. The book is called ''a little star still shines brightly'' by So Yun.
This book is about life and the author sends comforting message and motivations to people who are doubting their abilities, lack confidence, are insecure and depressed. It really helps to improves one's mood and controls their emotions.
After reading few chapters I looked at Niki's direction and he still seems so focused on his phone but I like it this way as we don't have to make small talks.
Even if we are together in a room, it's good to have some quiet moments to do what we loved doing.
By the end of the day I feel like I will be ok in this room with him.
A/N: What do you think about Sunoo's emotions? Is it ok to miss someone you loved so hardly to the point that you started having auditory and visual hallucinations ?
I like reading other's POVs as well. Keep reading, <3.