A/N: Sorry, pls don't hate me </3
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Fred woke up after tossing and turning for the whole night, thinking about the girl in the room next to him and how much he wished she was there with him, warm in his arms, in his bed. The thought made him overly hot, and he had to cool down somehow.
He got up and went to the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face in the sink. Then, when he'd cooled down significantly, he walked down the corridor of the apartment to see the spare bedroom door open, the curtains drawn to let the early morning sunlight in and the bed made.
The pyjamas he'd loaned Emilia were neatly folded on the bed, with a folded piece of parchment on top with his name hastily written on top, torn from a random notebook on the table in the room.
"Fred,
Thanks for letting me stay last night, sorry if I made things weird.
I said it last night but I meant it, you're my best friend.
I had fun though! I hope George is okay haha.
Thanks again, and see you soon.
Emilia."
Fred refolded the note, planning to keep it despite the disappointment he felt in his chest when he read it.
—
The following week, they were all at the Burrow, and Emilia was helping Molly to clean up after dinner.
"Emilia, dear," Molly said as she towel dried the clean plates, "I hope you won't mind me being nosy."
Emilia put the clean cutlery back in the drawer and looked up, "no, of course not."
Molly was trying very hard to fight a smile, "you know you can tell me anything, yes?"
Emilia was growing very suspicious, "yes, I know that, why?"
Taking her sweet time to answer the question, Molly put the plates away, "I'm just wondering what's going on between you and Fred."
Emilia dropped the handful of forks she was holding loudly into the drawer. "Um, I don't know what you mean."
Molly chuckled, "yes, I think you do."
Emilia couldn't help how her mind travelled to the dream she'd had the night she'd stayed at the twins flat, the extremely hot and very non-platonic dream she'd had.
And now his mother was asking what was going on.
Had Fred said something to her? She knew she'd gotten ahead of herself that night in the club, and she vaguely remembered trying to kiss him before he gently put his hands on her shoulders and shook his head, saying something she didn't hear.
She was mortified by the thought, and didn't want Molly to get the wrong idea when she felt her cheeks growing hot, so she panicked.
"Emilia, dear, are you alright?" Molly asked when she didn't answer.
Emilia coughed awkwardly, "oh, no, nothing's going on."
"Really?" Molly raised an eyebrow, "Freddie mentioned you stayed over at theirs last week so-"
"Nope, nothing going on, we're just friends and he was saving me the walk back to mine, that's all," Emilia said quickly, feeling her palms getting clammy with embarrassment.
"Oh, that's a shame," Molly said with a frown.
"Yeah, we're just friends. I wouldn't want to change anything," Emilia said, leaving out the part that she didn't want to change anything and lose him if he didn't feel the same.
Fred was just around the corner, listening to the conversation. He'd heard the words from Emilia's own mouth, something he'd suspected for months. He nodded to himself and pushed off the wall, walking back across the house.
Fred knew that Emilia was right, they were best friends. And that shouldn't change. He'd rather get over her than lose her, and the only way he'd do that was by distancing himself for a little while, and moving on.
—
The day before the school year began, the twins invited Emilia, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny to come to the shop and then they'd all go to the Leaky Cauldron together.
Emilia looked around the shop in amazement at how lively it was, with countless Hogwarts students undoubtedly preparing for the upcoming school year by purchasing the varied array of Weasley products.
"Step up! Step Up!" The twins exclaimed from the top of the stairs, catching her attention.
"We've got Fainting Fancies!" George said loudly.
"Nosebleed Nougats!" Fred added.
"And just in time for school, Puking Pastilles!" George finished.
Emilia laughed as the Hogwarts students ran around excitedly, being the last day they could visit the shop before heading back to school on the train in the morning.
She walked around with Hermione and Ginny, perusing the shelves and squeezing between the huge crowds in the shop.
She met Fred's eye when she looked up to the stairs and gave him a wave, and he smiled and waved back, and then George leaned over the railing and gave her a two-fingered salute.
It was hard to believe that summer was already over, and that Emilia would be starting as a teaching assistant just the following day. She knew she'd be helping McGonagall, Flitwick, and Sprout, but she also would be helping out in the Potions classroom, and the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom.
She was nervous, but she was excited too, the idea of teaching really making her feel like she was on the right track, and like it was what she was meant to do.
She glanced over to the twins again, and saw Fred at the bottom of the stairs, chatting to a girl who was vaguely familiar, and he was laughing at something she'd said, and she put her hand on his arm while she smiled at him.
"What are these supposed to be?" Ginny asked, and Emilia turned away from Fred, ignoring whatever jealousy was bubbling up inside her.
"Love Potions, apparently," Emilia said, eyeing the bright pink display.
Hermione curiously picked up a bottle, "surely they're not real?"
"I doubt it," Emilia answered, and she found herself looking back to see where Fred and the girl were, but she couldn't see them anywhere.
Before she could spare it another thought, familiar voices behind the three of them made them jump in surprise.
"Hello, ladies!" The twins said in unison as they appeared behind them, and Ginny flipped off her brothers for scaring them.
"Love potions, eh?" George grinned, "yeah, they really do work!"
"Then again, the way we hear it, sis, you're doing just fine on your own," Fred teased.
Ginny glared, "meaning?"
"Are you not currently dating Dean Thomas?" Fred asked her.
Ginny looked away, fighting a smile, "it's none of your business."
"Emilia? Hermione? What's got you browsing?" George asked with a grin.
Hermione immediately put down the bottle, "curiosity, quite frankly. I'm surprised you two managed to even get a licence for this."
Fred grinned, "well, it's just below the legal strength because it's diluted. Trust us, we checked."
"What about you, Em? Anyone you're gonna get one for?" George asked jokingly, though he was secretly trying to get an actual answer out of her.
"As if she'd need one," Hermione scoffed in defence of her friend.
"All she'd need is for Oliver Wood to come back into town, smile at him, and then she's got him hooked just like before," Ginny added, trying to get a rise out of Fred, just like George.
Fred bristled furiously, hiding it behind a tight smile.
Emilia snorted at Ginny's teasing, "yeah, but I don't see that happening any time soon."
"Shame," Fred said with a fake yawn.
Emilia ignored him, "so, if they work, tell me why you guys aren't using them for yourselves?"
Fred gave her a smug look, a cocky smile on his face, "because we don't need them, either. The ladies love a businessman, you see."
"Yeah, I noticed," Emilia said before she could stop herself.
Fred frowned then, but didn't say anything as the two of them looked at each other for a long moment. Emilia suddenly felt awkward under his gaze, so she turned away from him to look at the two girls.
"Girls, what do you say we try to find a booth in the Leaky Cauldron?" Emilia asked, and Hermione and Ginny nodded.
"See you later, boys!" Emilia waved over her shoulder to the twins, and then the three girls hurried across the shop to grab Harry and Ron.
Fred watched her leave the shop, not sure what had just happened, and George resisted the urge to hit his head repeatedly on the nearest wall.
—
Once they got to the extremely crowded Leaky Cauldron, they somehow managed to find an empty booth in the corner that they snatched up immediately.
They all listened while Harry quickly described what he'd seen while spying on Draco Malfoy, who'd gone into Borgin and Burkes.
"He's a Death Eater now, I'm telling you," he said urgently.
"You can't know that for sure, Harry," Hermione said.
"It's obvious, Hermione! His dad is in Azkaban, so now he has to step up," Harry said.
"Just try not to act on your suspicions, Harry, it'll only get you in trouble, and you don't need more of that in your life," Emilia said pointedly.
Harry sighed in frustration, and Ron gave him a pat on the shoulder while Hermione rolled her eyes at him.
Emilia excused herself and pushed through the crowd to get to the bar, and she was standing there for less than a minute when she heard an unfamiliar voice behind her.
"Emilia? Emilia Potter?"
She turned around to see a pretty girl with light brown hair approaching her with a smile, and she recognised her as the girl from the joke shop that had been all over Fred. "Hey! Sorry, I know we haven't spoken in years, I'm Julia. We met at a Gryffindor House party? I'm a year below you."
"Oh, hi," Emilia nodded, a vague recollection of the girl coming to mind.
Julia laughed good naturedly, "you set me and my friend Aislinn up with the Weasley twins?"
Emilia remembered her then, and smiled somewhat awkwardly. "Yeah, I remember you now. It's nice to see you again."
"Thanks! You look great by the way," Julia said kindly, "what are you doing now that you've finished school? I'm going into Seventh year, and I'm so stressed."
Emilia gave her a reassuring smile, "well, try not to stress too much, just keep up with your studies. And I'm actually going back to Hogwarts as a teaching assistant."
Julia gaped at her, "really? That's amazing! Do you want to be a teacher in the future?"
Emilia nodded, "yeah, I think I'd like to be."
Julia beamed at her, "you'd be great at it, you have a kind nature. You put people at ease. Even now, you're talking to me and giving me great advice without even knowing me!"
Emilia did a double take at the girl's genuine words, "that's a great compliment. Thank you."
"Of course! It was lovely to see you, Emilia, have a great night!" Julia said as her drink was put down by the bartender, and she gave a small wave before going over to her friends in the corner.
Once she got her drink, Emilia sat back down next to Hermione who looked extremely bored while Harry, Ron and Ginny discussed Quidditch, and Hermione raised an eyebrow at her.
"Who was that?" she asked.
"A girl from school, she was a year below me. I apparently set her and her friend up with the twins years ago," Emilia said, tracing the knot of wood on the table with her finger.
Hermione thought about that for a moment, "I remember you telling me about that, actually. Are you alright?"
Emilia nodded, "of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"
Hermione gave her a knowing look, "Emilia, come on, it's me."
Emilia said nothing and Hermione lowered her voice, "I've seen the way you look at him, you know."
Emilia sighed loudly, knowing she couldn't hide anything from Hermione, "yeah, well, I saw them talking in the shop, but it's really not a big deal."
"It seemed like a big deal to you," Hermione said sympathetically. "I could tell by the way you were acting around him back at the shop."
Emilia shrugged and met Hermione's eye, "well, yeah, but what can I do?"
Hermione looked over her shoulder to ensure that the other three were distracted and still talking about Quidditch.
"You could tell him how you feel," she said softly.
Emilia bit her lip and nodded after a long moment of thought, "yeah, you're right. I think I'll tell him tonight, if the right moment comes around."
Hermione's face lit up, but before she could say anything else, she was cut off by the very person Emilia had been talking about.
"The guests of honour have arrived!" Fred said loudly as they approached, announcing his and George's arrival, presumably having just closed the shop for the evening, and they beamed at the group.
"Don't jump out of your seats or anything, lads," George said with a grin, putting his jacket down over the back of the booth, while Fred threw his right over Ron's head.
"You alright, Em?" Fred asked her quietly, pausing before walking to the bar.
She couldn't help but smile softly at him, "yeah, I'll see you in a few minutes."
He nodded, and gave her a two-fingered salute and a cheeky grin before following George to the bar, and Emilia found herself smiling as he walked away.
Was this going to be the night that she told him everything? Maybe she'd pull him aside later, or invite him outside to get some air, and then she could tell him how she felt, and hope that he felt the same.
She chuckled as she saw the twins joking around at the bar, but her smile faded as she saw the same girl from earlier, Julia, walking over with a bright smile, and Fred greeted her happily while George ordered drinks.
Emilia watched as Julia got closer as the conversation progressed, and then she ran her finger up Fred's tie, fiddling with it as they talked, and then Fred was laughing at something she said.
Emilia watched as Julia said something else, and Fred leaned in closer to answer her over the loud noise of the crowded pub, and Emilia felt ill as she watched the girl wrapping her arms around his shoulders with a huge smile.
What had he said to her that made her smile so widely and wrap her arms around him like that? Emilia tried to tear her eyes away from the exchange, but she couldn't.
And then, Julia leaned up, and she kissed Fred.
Emilia got up out of her seat abruptly, tears filling her eyes as she started to grab her things.
"Emilia, what-?" Hermione's eyes widened when she saw what was happening at the bar, "oh no."
Emilia glanced up to see Fred putting his hands on Julia's waist before they were blocked from view by the other patrons in the bar.
"I just- I want to get an early night for tomorrow," she explained to the others in a rush as she pulled on her coat. "First day and all that."
But of course, just as she was leaving, she almost walked straight into the twins who were on the way back to the table, arguing about something she didn't care enough to know about at that moment.
She tried to slip past them but Fred caught her wrist to stop her, his face full of concern, "hey, you alright?"
She pulled out of his grip, unable to look at him once she'd seen that his tie was open around his neck, and his shirt was unbuttoned at the top.
How could she have been such a fool?
She cleared her throat, trying her hardest to fight the tears filling her eyes, "I'm heading home, I'll see you guys soon."
With that, she pushed out of the doors of the pub, silently cursing the universe as she stepped out into the pouring rain.
She was only feet away from the front door of the bar when she heard it slamming open again, but she kept walking.
"Emilia!" Fred called her, but she kept walking.
"Emilia, please," he said again, and the desperate tone of his voice made her stop then, her body working of its own accord.
She closed her eyes, willing him to go away, but she could hear him walking towards her. She wiped her face, feeling stupid for her tears, and then she turned around to look at him, and he stopped and stared at her.
She felt like she'd been punched in the chest as she saw him standing there in the rain, his shirt starting to stick to him, his red hair growing damp and sending drops down his face. He stared at her pleadingly, but she had to look away.
"What do you want, Fred?" She managed to get out despite the painful lump in her throat.
"I want you to talk to me, to look at me, even," he said desperately.
She met his eyes, and hers blurred with tears as their gazes met, and he took a step closer.
"Please come back inside, Emilia," he pleaded, "you left so quickly-"
"I couldn't be in there anymore," she said, and it was the truth.
Fred's eyebrows furrowed, "what?"
She just shook her head, but didn't answer, unable to find her voice.
He sighed anxiously, running his hand through his already-damp hair, "look, just come back in and we can- we can talk about this and-"
"Talk about what?" she said almost challengingly, but her heart wasn't in it.
He stared at her as if he didn't know what to say, and then he agitatedly gestured between them, "about...about this! About anything, I don't know! Just come back inside."
"I don't know what you want from me, Fred," she said earnestly and her voice cracked with emotion.
His brows were pinched and his eyes were wet, but she couldn't see from where she was standing just how hard he was trying to stay together.
"I want you to say something, Emilia. Anything! Just please...don't shut me out."
She looked at him, at how he was begging her to confide in him, and everything she'd felt over the last few months came back to hit her like a punch to the gut.
Her grief of losing Sirius, the weight of Voldemort's words about how she shouldn't even be alive, and now seeing the boy she loved kissing someone else.
All of those emotions bubbled to the surface, and she didn't want him to see it, she couldn't let him see how broken she really felt inside.
She suddenly felt like she couldn't catch her breath, and then she felt Fred's hands on her shoulders, "hey, breathe, Emilia. Talk to me."
She shook her head and stepped back, "not now, I just- I need to go home and get some sleep before work starts."
"I'll walk you-"
"No," she said more sharply than she intended, "I'm just down the street, and I need...I need space right now. I'm sorry."
He stared at her, completely at a loss, "Emilia, please."
"Goodbye, Fred," she said, and then she turned on her heel and walked home.
She was biting back tears as she went, only letting them out once the door of her flat was locked behind her, and she practically crumbled against the closed door as her heartbreak overwhelmed her completely and she cried in the dark for what felt like hours.
She hadn't told Fred how she felt about him. She'd waited for a perfect moment that never came.
And now it was too late.
—
The next day, on the first of September, Emilia used the Floo Network to get from the fireplace in her flat to the one in McGonagall's office. When she got there, she sat with McGonagall at her desk with a cup of tea, discussing the day's plans, between the arrival of the first years in a few hours' time, the Sorting Ceremony, the Feast, and then the beginning of classes the following day.
McGonagall told Emilia that she would only be expected to help mark homework and sit in on the first-year classes to help those who were struggling, particularly Muggleborn students who hadn't grown up with magic and were still adapting to this strange new world.
Flitwick and Sprout were thrilled to have her there to help the first years with either their wand position in Charms class, and reminding them to put their earmuffs on when dealing with the baby Mandrakes. McGonagall had to try very hard to hide her pride at seeing Emilia in her new position, but called her up to demonstrate the Transfiguration to the awestruck first-years, keen to give Emilia the best teaching experience she could.
Professor Slughorn, who Harry had met before going to the Burrow two weeks prior, had almost fainted when he saw her, saying it was like meeting a ghost. He told her that he'd known her mother well, and Emilia then recognised him from the photograph in the trophy room in which her mother held up an award for high achievements in potions.
Snape, who was now the Dark Arts professor, much to everyone's surprise, completely ignored her, and Emilia found that she spent a lot of time in that class reassuring the young students that were on the verge of tears after being scolded by Snape.
Emilia was nervous but the first week of classes flew by in a blur. She only had two or three classes a day, but between tutoring outside of class hours and helping to correct homework, she was busy.
She was busy enough, in fact, that she was distracted from her own private heartbreak, and while her eyes occasionally welled up with tears at the thought of Fred, she was able to keep herself occupied.
Fred sent one very brief letter the morning after she'd walked away from him at the Leaky Cauldron, wishing her luck for her first day, and asking her if she was alright and asking if they could meet soon to talk.
She didn't reply for days, telling herself she'd reply over the weekend when she had a chance to catch her breath and sit down to think about what she wanted to say to him, to explain why she'd reacted the way she had.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione had come up to her at the beginning of the week, right after the start of year feast had ended, asking her if she was okay after that night. She'd waved them off and told her she was fine, adding a smile for effect. Hermione knew she'd talk when she was ready, and assured her that she was there for her, and Emilia gave her a brief hug.
She didn't want to talk about Fred, not really. She had only managed to pull herself together in time for work on the first day, and every day that followed was pretending she wasn't hurting.
Emilia knew she loved Fred, she loved him desperately, in fact, and she hated that it had taken her so long to realise and accept it.
But, that aside, she wanted the best for him. Julia was a sweet girl, genuinely nice, so Emilia couldn't even hate her. Fred deserved to be happy, and Emilia had to accept that maybe she would have to support him from the sidelines.
She would be his best friend, and once the pain in her chest had subsided, and once she could think about him without tears filling her eyes, it would be enough.
That Saturday morning at the end of the first week, once she'd finished marking first-year Herbology homework, she sat down at her desk with fresh parchment spread in front of her.
She picked up her quill, preparing herself to write the letter she'd been dreading for days. She was going to tell him that she would meet him the following day, and that's when she'd let everything out.
She put her quill to the parchment and began to write.
'Dear Fred.'
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A/N: This will all be worth it, I promise x
Stay tuned for the next chapter ;)