Song: Torn by Natalie Imbruglia
I feel so relieved!
Rickey just told me that she's going to Jude's match as well. I was kind of afraid that I'd be alone there. Thankfully Rickey is going too, so we can sit together.
Right now me and Lily are in a cafe. Just drinking something when we ran into Rickey. Turns out she's English, and she's going to every single match.
The last four days were killing me. Aurora wanted to hang out all the time. I don't know why. When we went to the boys' hotel for the first time, there was of course a lot of tension between the group. Aurora didn't even stand up for Mikky when Sira was gossiping about her. Maybe she wants to make it up to us....
Me and Lily both decided to not respond. We're kind of done with Pedri, Pablo and Aurora right now. Aurora was being annoying the last days with all her texts and calls...
I was also kind of overthinking everything.
Jude?
Pablo?
Jude!
Pablo...
Jude?
Pablo!
Jude!!!
PABLO...
Jude.
Jude has texted me a lot. We've had the most random conversations. About his teammates, about my job, about our favorite color and even about his aunt. It feels safe texting him...
It feels... natural.
I don't know if Pablo texted me. I've blocked him. Also on Instagram this time. I did that last night together with Lily. I don't know why, there was actually no reason to but Lily said it was necessary.
"If you want to start a relationship with a new person, than you should ban all the others from your life." I'm not quite sure if she's right... but we'll find out soon.
Lily sips from her coffee. 'Well. How late does the game start?' she asks. 'In one hour.' Rickey answers. Lily nods.
'We should go in 15 minutes if that's okay with you.' Rickey says to me. 'Yes, great.' I answer. I'm pretty excited for the game. I'm gonna see Jude again...
Suddenly I hear my phone buzz.
Jude: Can't wait to see you😉
Me: Same! Good luck.
Jude: So you do support England...
Me: No. I support you.
I'm waiting for an answer when I see Jude stopped typing. Did I say something weird? Suddenly I get another text from an unknown number.
Unknown: Hey. Mason here. Could you stop texting Jude. We need to go through our strategy for this game and he is way too distracted. He can't stop smiling and he should focus now. Thank you for your understanding.
Ooh btw I just grabbed his phone, I can't believe you don't support England.
Me: Yeah sure I'll stop texting. I'm actually not supporting any countries so I have nothing against England.
Mason: aah! If you're neutral you could support England anyways! Great. That's settled then. Ok bye
I stare at the text. Yeah... nice try Mason, but I'm still not supporting anyone.
'Why are you smiling?' Lily asks and she tries to see what I'm doing. 'Nothing.' I say and I turn of my phone. She raises her eyebrows and I just smile. She shakes her head. 'Nina, Nina... already going for the next one!' She says. I shrug. 'Why not?' I say and Lily laughs.
......
When we arrive at the big stadium, it's already busy. Me and Rickey find our spot and sit down. 'I can't wait for this game to start!' Rickey squeals excited. She's wearing an English jersey with Saka on the back.
After a few minutes of waiting the footballers get into the pitch for a warm-up session. I already spot Jude with number 22. Rickey takes another picture on her phone to post it on her Instagram story. She tags me.
Suddenly I see Jude looking up, it looks like he's seeking for someone. His eyes stop at me and Rickey. We're sitting pretty close by the field so he can probably recognize us. He smiles and waves.
For a second I don't realize that he's actually waving to me... and not to the fans behind us...
To me.
Rickey gives me a nudge which brings me back to reality. 'He's waving Nin!' she says. I nod quickly and wave back at him. I can see him smiling and suddenly I feel very happy.
Finally the game starts. My mother isn't a football watcher. My dad was, but he wasn't in the picture since I was six, so watching football wasn't a regular thing in our family. I did always watch it with my older cousins. They'd kept me informed of all the actualities, so I always knew what was going on in the football world.
The whole first quarter of the game, nothing happened. It was pretty boring. A few chances for England and also a few for Wales.
Rickey was FaceTiming her brother during the first "break".
When she hangs up she turns towards me. 'I can't believe they haven't scored yet!' she says. I nod. 'They had more ball possession then Wales, I'm sure they'll win.' I assure Rickey.
Suddenly I feel someone patting my back. I turn around and face a girl. I think she's about 20 years old, but she's definitely older than me. 'Sorry to bother you, but can I have an autograph please?' Rickey also turns around and looks at her confused. 'From us?' she asks and looks behind her to see if there's a famous person sitting there. 'Yes, I'm such a fan of you guys. The show was so good!' she says. I'm still confused, but I see Rickey understands it and she takes the pen and paper from the girl and writes her autograph on it. I do the same and then the girl walks away. 'Thank you!' she screams.
I look at Rickey. 'What just happened?' I ask. 'I forgot, but the show was live on TV yesterday night. So that's why people are coming to us now. The show was of course live for a few people in Barcelona, but now the whole world has access to our show.' Rickey explains. 'You mean the show with the footballers?' I ask her. 'No that one was already online from the beginning, I mean our first show.' Rickey explains. I nod. I remember seeing an email from Nicole about it, but I was too lazy to read it.
Rickey hands me sunglasses. 'We're going to need these.' she says. I nod and quickly put on the sunglasses. The second half has already started. Rickey has sat down again and nervously looks around the field.
And then, after five minutes, there is a free kick for England. 'Please, please, please, please,
please....' Rickey muttered behind me. Rashford kicks off and then... GOAL!
Rickey jumps into the air and cheers loudly. All sorts of people in white shirts jump up and start cheering. I clap too.
1-0 for England.
And then, a few minutes later, England is close to the goal again, Foden now scores! The whole stadium goes wild again. Rickey is also super happy. 'Yes! I'm going to text my boyfriend that we're beating him!' she says and she takes out her phone. I look at her uncomprehendingly. 'He's from Wales.' she explains.
The game ends with another goal from Rashford. I see Jude running across the field screaming (and sweaty) when the game is over. He looks at me and blows a kiss. I don't know if that kiss was specifically directed at me... but I felt it...
Rickey and I couldn't get out of the crowded stadium without getting recognized twice by two big groups of people. The amount of times that I fake smiled today is unreal.
When we finally got out of the stadium I decide to text Jude:
Me: Hey! Congratsss!!😍
Jude: Thanks! Did you see my kiss?
So it was towards me!!
Me: Yeah... felt it too...
Jude: Wanna hang tonight?
Me: Yes definitely. Just the two of us?
Jude: yeah. Tonight the team is gonna celebrate, but I can sneak out😉. If you'll just wait in front of the hotel... then I'll come outside to meet you if that's ok
Me: Sounds good.
Jude: great
I smile at my phone. I'll probably talk to Jude for 10 minutes today, but at least he wants to see me.
Rickey and I got back into our hotels and I've changed into better clothes. Black pants with a nice blue crop top. It's very hot in Qatar, but at night it's cooler, so I also grab a vest on my way out. Lily just told me that she had another fight with Pedri. She didn't gave many details but it didn't sound very well...
I grab a cab to Jude's hotel. On my way there I realize that it's Pablo's hotel as well... hopefully I won't run into him.
Jude texted me a few minutes ago that he's on his way downstairs. When I finally arrive at the hotel I see Jude just walked out.
He smiles when I walk towards him. 'Well done!' I say and I run the last part towards him. We hug each other tightly. He smiles. 'Thanks. Also thanks for watching me.' I laugh. 'Of course.'
'So I've watched your show last night.' he says. I'm a little bit startled by this announcement. 'Wait really?' I ask him. He chuckles. 'Yes, you were amazing.' He says. I smile. 'It was my first show ever, so I was a little bit too nervous.' I admit. 'You didn't look nervous at all. Just hot.' He says.
I feel butterflies arising in my stomach. 'Thank you so mu-' but I can't finish my sentence because Jude grabs me by the waist and turns me around quickly. With a quick smooth movement we are now just around the corner of the street. Jude holds my body tight against the wall and I start to say something, but he quickly flicks his finger over my mouth. Then I suddenly hear why we had to leave there so quickly. Harry Maguire is standing diagonally in front of us. He can probably just see us, but because we're in the shadow he can't see us.
'Yes.... Thank you... I know.... Tomorrow?... No... I still have to wear that shirt during the games.... oh okay!... Yes....' Harry is on the phone...,
me and Jude slowly hear his voice fade away. Jude slowly removes his finger from my mouth.
His hand is still around my waist. I look at him. The shadow makes his jawline look a lot tighter. His eyes are darker, but they're always friendly. At first they looked at me, in a sweet, gentle way. But now his look was different. Full of lust. I can't help it and look at his lips. He smiles. 'May I?' he asks softly and puts his hand on my chin. He lifts my face slightly, closer to his. I swallow, only then do I realize what he is asking of me. I'm breathing in sharply... now I'm really, really nervous.
'Yes.' I say. He smiles and then he leans towards me. Our lips touch. Very gently at first... then a little rougher. Jude now puts both his hands around my waist and I place my hands on his broad shoulders. Due to the difference in length I have to stand on my toes a bit. From the way Jude moves, I'm guessing he has experience. Slowly we go a little faster, but we keep the rhythm. His hands caress my back and stomach and goosebumps spread over my body.
It's great... amazing... but then I realize something. I'm not thinking about Jude... I'm thinking about someone else... I'm thinking about him. About Pablo.... No! Stop. Think about Jude. He has been so good to you.... so nice. Think . about . Jude .
But for some reason my brain keeps going back... to that moment were Pablo and I were in the sea. The moment before anyone else appeared... when we were alone... just us. I remember it crystal clear. My hands in his wet hair. It was our second kiss... it was after we told each other that we liked each other. I miss it... I remember he told me he loved me. Loved! And I didn't even say it back. I dumped him... for no reason. What if he wasn't lying?
But what if he was?
STOP.
Think about Jude. The guy who is so respectful and just gives you all of his attention. He told me he wanted to be a good father. Something I never had... something he will be. He is also so beautiful... so nice and respectful. He doesn't play with others heart.
Jude stops the kiss and he smiles. 'Nina? Are you still there?' he asks. Then I realize I just stopped moving my mouth for the past seconds. 'Um... yes. Just a little tired I guess?' it sounds stupid. Like I'm making an excuse to stop kissing him.... and I do. Why am I like this?
Jude just laughs and smiles. 'I have to go back anyways. Do I see you tomorrow?' he asks. I nod. 'Yes. Definitely.' Jude smiles and gives me another quick kiss on the forehead, then he turns around and walks back into the hotel.
I walk back towards the entrance of the hotel a few minutes later. I'm already on my phone to call another cab when I feel someone patting my shoulder. I'm already rolling my eyes, because I don't feel like smiling for another fan when I see it's someone else.
It's Pedri! I don't know how to greet him. The last time I saw him he looked pretty mad. Now he looks pretty mad too. 'What are you doing here?' he asks. I roll me eyes. 'That's none of your business.' I say and I starts typing on my phone again.
Pedri grabs it out of my hands. 'Hey give it back!' I yell and I try to grab it, but he helds it above his head. I'm too short to reach it. I start jumping to catch it. 'When are you gonna realize that you're too short?' he asks. After trying five times I stop jumping. 'What do you want?' I ask him.
He sighs. 'I just wanna talk... about Lily.' He says. I nod. 'Okay. Well, just let me say something first.' I begin. 'Lily is my best friend. I introduced you to her, because I thought you'd be good to her. Lily is the sweetest girl ever. She doesn't like fighting. You should stop hurting her, because you wanna focus on "your career." Lily isn't someone that'll stay and wait till you're ready. She'll move on if you treat her like shit.' I say. Pedri looks at me for a few seconds. I see that he's trying to process what I've just told him. 'I understand....' He says. 'I just... I really really wanna be with her... but not right now.' He says. What a dick. Keeping her in suspense, just because he doesn't want her "right now..."
'Listen Pedri. Lily isn't a second choice. You can't expect her to wait. You're an absolute dumbass if you don't want her right now. I can tell you one thing. A lot of guys want her right now. And a lot of guys are gorgeous and nice and sweet and wanting her. So if you want my advice, then you should cut the bullshit and start being good to her.' I say.
I'm actually really mad right now. My best friend always stands up for me when guys are assholes. Now it's my turn to help Lily. Pedri should stop with these games. Maybe I'm also taking my anger for Pablo out on Pedri a little bit. I'm pretty confused myself now, but if there's one thing I know for sure, then it's that Lily isn't happy right now. Just in the hotel room when she told me about their fight something was wrong with her. Something I had never seen. It seemed as if the fire that always shines in Lily had disappeared. It had just become a pathetic little LED instead of the blazing star it used to be. And no one... not even Pedri, who I'm super grateful for for everything, does that to my best friend.
Pedri stays quiet. Before he can do anything I grab my phone. 'I'm going home now. Stop breaking Lily's heart. If you want her, you'll have to earn it.' With those words I turn around and walk away. If Pedri doesn't stop hurting Lily, then maybe she just shouldn't be with him anymore... he doesn't deserve her anyways.
....
Back in the hotel Lily is nowhere to be found. When I turn on my phone, to call Lily, I see thousands of notifications appear. On Instagram, on TikTok and in my mailbox. Then I see that I have 700K followers on Instagram.
What.
the.
fuck.
This is not normal! I quickly choose a new profile picture, because the old one was really ugly. Then suddenly I get a call. It's Nicole, my boss. I answer quickly. 'Hi Nina! How is Qatar?' Nicole's voice blares through my phone. 'Hey Nicole. It's great!' I answer. I'm trying to sound happy. However I'm confused, still mad at Pedri and right now shocked about the huge amount of new followers. 'Nice. I'm here to talk about the show. Of course I understand that it can be quite overwhelming what is happening right now.' Nicole starts. I swallow, hoping for a comforting message. 'I just wanted to say that it's only going to get worse now.' she says at a very calm tone.
I almost choke. 'Sorry what did you say?' I ask with a dry throat. 'I just got off the phone with Lily, who couldn't get into the hotel because fans kept harassing her. I personally didn't expect your fame to go so fast. Anyway, your new schedule for the third runway show can now be seen via your email. I advise you to use your iPad or laptop as "personal" devices. Then you can use your phone for work. Have you already received sponsors?' Nicole asks.
'I- I haven't checked yet.' I say softly. 'Check quickly. Choose a reliable one. Not one that only pays afterwards, they are never good. I have to go, but good luck and when will I see you?' Nicole asks. 'My flight back is December 8.' I say. 'Good take care.' Nicole says and then she hangs up.
I decide to check insta... just to see what's there. Then I see one message which catches my attention.
I really don't want to.... but a part of me is jealous. Why? I have no f*cking clue....
I turn of my phone. I'm so so tired.
There I am... being famous.
What's happening? First I kiss Jude Bellingham, thinking about motherf*cking Pablo Gavi. And then all of a sudden I'm famous? What shocks me the most is that Lily is just outside among the fans and won't get away. And the fact that my mother doesn't text me?
I'm too tired to do anything else. Everything seems difficult. Pablo, Jude, my job, my best friend, my housemate, all while my home and family are on the other side of the world...
I can't help it anymore... I don't want to think anymore. I plop down on my hotel bed with my clothes still on. And as soon as I close my eyes, I fall into a deep sleep.
Hey guys! So here is another chapter! So a lot is going on right now... I've already started the next chapter and I'll try to post it as soon as possible!
I was thinking about putting a guide at the top of each chapter. Not necessarily a song that goes exactly like the chapter, but just a lead that gives me the vibe of that chapter. So I will do the same for all the other chapters that have already been. I haven't done this yet, but I plan to maybe next week if I have time.
Let me know if you think if this is a good idea!
Hopefully you liked this chapter! Please Vote or Comment if you liked it💖.
Thanks for reading
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