Girl no do i even need to explain ok yes i do stop idk it's 4 am idfk what I'm doing well i do but i also really don't oh well
Edit: it was chapter 106, fuck
⚠️ personal issues and shit
Anyway, it's been a while x
HELP HOW DO I DO THIS SHIT AGAIN Y'ALL I'M SORRY I'M SO CONFUSED BUT BTW THSNKS FOR THE 500K READS WTF HAPELNED WHY JUST WHY
WHY Y'ALL READING THIS BS WITH SHIT ASS GRAMMAR RANDOM ASS SHIT UIGLY ASS SHIT HAND RELATED SHIT KUVIUD RELAYED SHIT STOP I SNT EVEN TYPE WTF IDFK WHAT JADPENNIN RN OK LET ME TUR CAPS OFF
Ok autocorrect does NOT work when using caps i guess.. ANYWAYS THANKS AGAIN WTF????? HELP????
But ok let's just start talking about this shit
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Okay so, the reason why I've been dead for quite a while is 1. Relationship issues. Yeah girly is in a shit ass relationship and ain't able to leave and now i feel like I'm becoming a bad person myself, like sure this guy cheated on me and tried to leave me 2 times for 2 different girls he didn't even know and once bc of this girl that was flirty with him sitting on his lap and shit bc i told him that i wasn't comfortable with that and he was like wtf she's my friend and tried to call me manipulative and shit x
Now i feel like a bad person bc i don't really show interest anymore (i wonder why) and he tells me how i don't care about him blabla, and more, I'm just so exhausted
There's ofc a lot more to the story but it's late and i don't want to share everything rn!!!
We've been together for what 9/10 months?? I mean yeah i know I'm stupid for not leaving when he cheated on me, i know, but I've later said some stupid shit myself too so he's not the only one in the wrong, although i didn't go as far as cheating and such stuff though.
Anyway, thank you next x
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NUMBER 2, SHIFTINF ATTACHMENT ISSUES EYYY
Sure, i love shifting, but it's been months since I've shifted. And yeah, should have seen it coming, but I'm attached, like, it's bad bad.
Ever since 2020, shifttok/dracotok I've been obsessed with Harry Potter and shifting. I was going through the worst period of my life with my parents passing away a few weeks before i got into shifting and all that.
It became my coping mechanism, and I've been very attached to it ever since, it has gotten so bad that every night i can't sleep if i haven't even listened or looked at anything related to it, and i only sleep whole listening to shifting subliminals or guided meditations.
It's unhealthy, very unhealthy.
It's ruined a lot for me here in my current reality, school is messed up, my mental health has gotten worse (I've been diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder and a depressive disorder since 2020/2021) and just a lot more.
I don't have the motivation to even get out of my room anymore and live life in this reality, it's all a repeat, all my days look the same, every minute every second i feel like I'm not even here. I don't know where i am and I'm losing myself to be honest.
I can't talk about this with anyone, trust me I've tried so many times, my 2 therapists, one of them tried to get me diagnosed for something weird.
My parents, they don't believe it and my mother called it demonic.
My brother, same as my parents.
My friends, well Sprinkle and Berta were great, but I don't really tell them anymore, they have their own stuff going on.
My literal boyfriend, he called me weird for believing in this stuff and told me to not speak about it.
I don't have anyone, it hurts, the only place where I can say this stuff is on here, in my own book which i honestly have been using as a diary ever since i started writing in here.
It's almost been 3 years and it still feels like a diary to me, but y'all being here makes it better though, i feel understood for fucking once, people listen to me and my thoughts and fucking care, i miss that, i really do, everyone is expecting so much from me right now but i just can't do this.
It also feels great to be able to help people here in the comment sections, it feels great that me and all of you have been able to create a safe place where everyone feels safe enough to ask questions and not get judged by others.
All of you have made my life so much better and I've met so many great people on here, i never expected to get to know all of you guys, and I'll never regret making this "book" or whatever it may be.
Y'all are more than just numbers in my comment section to me, you guys feel like friends and make me laugh and make me and my thoughts feel valid, you guys have made me so happy these 2 years, it's been a whole ass journey but Lord I would do it all over again if i could.
I'll never regret staying up all of those nights responding to the comments i used to get, or being at school and answering the questions in my message box or randomly throughout the day writing chapters, yeah that was just great and i swear I'm gonna cry wtf am i doing
I love you guys so much, like so so so much, i don't think you understand how honest i am rn, i really don't think so. Many people say this to their idk audience or whatsoever, but all of you are more than that to me and even though i don't know most of y'all personally, I'm grateful that you exist and that you've been here making me and i bet many others happy too. You guys are the reason I'm still here, that i still have the motivation to live and shit, y'all made me feel like I'm not just a random idiot with a "disorder related to some hallucinations" bc i shift, fuck okay I'm crying, but no i love you guys so much. I fucking do.
Last few months might have been terrible, but I'm glad to have met all of you, every single one of you. I'll be trying to answer all of your questions again and comment on just anything y'all have to say!!
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Sorry for this dramatic ass chapter
Also, i really just need a hug bc i miss that type of physical attention like Lucius where tf are you when i need you
BUT OKAY, PLEASE COMMENT ANY IDEAS FOR MY NEXT CHAPTER I WANT TO MAKE SHIT SPECIAL FOR ALL OF YOU. ⚠️
TAKE CARE AND STAY SAFE OKAY? MESSAGE ME IF YOU EVER NEED SOMEONE.
You can message me here or on discord: Lestrange#0310
LOVE Y'ALL AGAIN MY LOSERS yes we are losers deal with it, good losers though, great losers even 😘😘😘
i hate my humor, that was one of my first pictures i yk edited on snapchat when i downloaded snapchat for the first time