Eleven Years Later
"I got accepted to the Art Institute," This was the easy part.
"That's amazing!" My mom grins at me from where she's sitting across from me at the dining room table. "Joey, I'm so happy for you. I knew that they couldn't resist you. Los Angeles will be so lucky to have you."
"No, it's not the one in LA," And this was the hard part.
"Oh. Please tell me that you didn't apply to San Francisco, that is just too far away," She tells me with a worried frown on her face and that makes this so much more difficult. Of course I chose the school with campuses all across the country just to make this so much more complicated and drawn out-note the sarcasm.
"It's not San Francisco either," I sigh, holding my hands in each other on my lap. I know that she's going to be so upset when I tell her what I'm about to say because she wants me to stay near our home right outside of Los Angeles, California but that's just not going to happen. "I actually applied to the Art Institute of Atlanta."
"Atlanta?" My mother echoes me as if repeating it would make it false. "Sweetie, don't joke around like that. You really had me worried for a minute there. Why would you want to go back to Georgia when you have a beautiful home here?"
"I'm not joking, Mom," I assure her. "I'm really going back to Atlanta."
"You know that there's no way that I'll allow that, Josephine," She hisses as she realizes the reality of the situation. I didn't want to upset my mother but I can't just not tell her until I move out and then just leave a note on the counter of the kitchen that I've flown across the country for college. It's the end of July now, so this is already a pretty late notice since I'm moving in with Jasper in just a week and a half.
"You don't have to 'allow' it, Mom," I say. "I mean, I'm sorry that you don't approve of my decision but I don't expect you to. That's fine. I'm eighteen though, so I don't need your permission."
"Well, I won't pay for it," She snaps at me. "I can't believe that you'd want to go back there after everything that's happened. What about going to UCLA like your sister? We talked about that before, why can't you just go there? Georgia is in the past, it's forgotten and behind us now, sweetie."
"You don't have to pay for it either, Mom," I continue to explain softly. "After I sent in my portfolio, I got a full ride scholarship. And I never wanted to go to UCLA, that was your idea and I turned it down months ago. This is my final decision, I've already enrolled and everything."
"And where are you going to live? They don't have scholarships for that," She reminds me.
"I've already got a lease ready at this great apartment building around the block from the campus. With the money I've saved from working at the coffee house, I can afford to pay for it myself. Well, I'm only paying for half of it considering Jasper is going with me. We're going to be roommates."
"Jasper is going to Atlanta too?" She wonders incredulously. "Do his parents know about this?"
"Yeah, they've known for a while now. They're very supportive of his decision," I tell her. Although I know that Jasper is sitting down with his family right now too, giving them some important news as well, it just isn't the same as mine.
"Well, I want to be supportive too, Jo, but it's just too far away and it makes me sick that you'd want to go back to that place that did nothing but hurt us."
"I don't think that," I shake my head at her. "It did nothing but hurt you, and that sucks, but it's where I was born. It's where I made some of my first memories and I know that it was hell for you but I remember a lot of great stuff from Atlanta. I want to go back."
"Is there anything at all that I can say or do to convince you not to do this?" She asks me softly.
I shake my head at her apologetically. I knew that this would hurt her but I had to do what I thought was best for my future and this was my best move, I know it. "I'm sorry but no, there's not. Everything is all set. We are leaving next week."
I know that my mom hates Georgia so much because she'd moved there with her husband before I was born. It was a good marriage at first, I guess, but by the time that I was born, it was completely volatile. He was incredibly abusive towards both my mother and my older sister, Sienna. They'd both step in front of him to protect me but I remember a few times where he'd hit me too.
Luckily, Sienna was able to get us out of there when I was seven and we came to Los Angeles, where my mom was originally from and where her family is. Her family then helped her put my dad behind bars for a while. I'm not sure what happened exactly while he was in prison, but I know that he died in there.
Anyway, that's why my mom doesn't want me to go to Georgia but I'm not sure why because it's obviously not any more dangerous than being here or anywhere else. That guy is dead so it's not like he's going to try and come after me or anything. I'd applied to a few art schools around the country, and so did Jasper. We knew that going to the same college wasn't mandatory but when I got a full ride to Atlanta and Jasper got a sizable scholarship as well, we knew that it was right for both of us.
I'm not going back just because I want to go back to where I was born although that's a pretty hefty part of it, I'm also going because it's an amazing school and it has both my and Jasper's majors. I put a lot of thought into this. I wanted to be absolutely sure of it before I had to tell my mom.
"Does Sienna know?" My mom continues to fire questions at me.
I nod. "Yeah, I told her when she came down for my graduation."
"Why didn't you tell me back then too?" She asks.
"Because I knew that you'd try to find reasons to get me not to go but I really want to do this," I explain to her. "And I know that you're worried but there's really nothing to worry about. I'm a big girl now, I can take care of myself. I promise."
"You're only eighteen, Jo," She reminds me. "You're not as independent as you think that you are."
"I know that I'm still going to need you," I say. "But I am old enough to decide what I want for myself. You have to respect that, Mom."
"I'll respect that when you realize that Georgia is the last place that you need to be," She frowns at me stubbornly before getting up from the table and fixing her fitted business blazer. "Anyway, maybe we'll discuss this more later but I have to go. I have a conference call with China in an hour."
"Alright," I mumble. "I'll see you later then."
"I'll see you later," My mom says, bending over and kissing the top of my head. "I love you, Joey."
"I love you too, Mom," I tell her before she leaves the room and then the house.
I know that it'll be hard for her, being all on her own since her two kids are now all grown up. Sienna moved to Seattle after she graduated from UCLA forever ago and now I'm moving across the country to Georgia. I understand how that could be upsetting but it's not like she's going to wallow away in her self-pity or anything. Her job is really time consuming and she's still in touch with her brother, my uncle Chase, so it's not like she's going to be completely alone or anything.
At least, that's what I had to repeatedly tell myself to make the guilt go away.
To get my mind off of my mom's sour reaction to the news, I decide that I should start packing up all of my stuff. I almost want to go drive over to Jasper's house to see how he's doing with breaking the news to his parents but I know that this is really important to him and he needs the day to be with his family so I'll give him his privacy.
Jasper has been my best friend ever since I moved here to California because he lived so close to my Uncle Chase's house. I was so shaken up and scared because my dad was still on the loose and he was angry that we had all run away from him. Jasper was so clueless but he still did an amazing job at making me feel better about it.
We'd pretty much grown up together from the age of seven onward. We went to middle school dances together and we did all of that stuff that you hear people say in those stories about where childhood best friends falling in love. We were inseparable in high school, we went to homecomings together, and we even kissed a few times too.
However, that all ended after sophomore year. I mean, we were still inseparable. We were still best friends but the flirty stuff like going to dances together and the drunk making out at parties, all of that stuff ended when Jasper told me that he was gay.
He's been out of the closet for two years now and he still hasn't been able to work up the courage to tell his parents. He's dated a few guys around school, we've even been to a few gay bars on the weekends over the summer now that we're both eighteen. I honestly have no idea how he's kept this huge secret from his parents for so long but I don't blame him because I know how homophobic his parents are.
I'm not sure why because usually, homophobic people are usually super-religious and uptight people. At least, that's how I imagine them to be. Jasper's parents are awesome though. They are always so nice to me when I'm over there and I know that Jasper loves his parents to death. I think that they've always expected us to date, honestly. Anybody who doesn't know about Jasper's sexuality actually expects us to date and if he was straight, we probably would.
Last year, I was his fake date to his cousin's wedding because he didn't know how to explain to his family why he didn't have a date, so he just took me. We slow danced and everything.
His parents are awesome until you mention the gay agenda and then they go crazy. It's mainly his dad though so I'm sure his mom will still stick by him after he breaks the news. His dad, I'm not so sure.
Even as I'm packing up my clothes, I'm thinking about Jasper and now I'm all worried about how things are going over at his house. If he really went through with telling them the truth.
I decide that I'll just text him to see how it's going and once I send the text, I continue packing up my stuff into the plastic totes that I brought out of our basement to pack. We're going to drive Jasper's truck to Atlanta and we rented a U-Haul to take with us so that we'll fit all of our stuff in one trip. It'll be a long road trip but it'll be better than having to fly with all of this crap and then when we got to Atlanta, we wouldn't have a car and that'd suck.
After about ten minutes, Jasper sends me a text that says, 'Told them. Didn't go so great. You?'
I know that my news doesn't even begin to compare to Jasper's news so I'm still pretty worried about him. I respond to his text with, 'I'm sorry. Are you okay?' and ignored the part where he asked about me.
I finish packing up most of my clothes which is pretty easy because I just have to move it all from my dresser into the totes and then grab my dresses from the closet and lay them on top. The hard part will be my shoes probably. Before I start on my shoes though, I get a text back from Jasper that reads, 'I'll talk to you about it tomorrow.'
I can tell that something is really wrong right now and I'm really worried but I don't want to push him, so I just say 'Okay. Love you' and then that's it. I'm incredibly curious too but like I said, I just really don't want to push him, I just want to be there for him when he needs me to be there and not a second too early.
Now that I can't do anything else for Jasper, I start worrying about my own situation again. How can I get my mother to understand? Well, the only other person who knows how to deal with my mother other than me is my sister, so I decide to put off packing my shoes so that I can call her.
"Hello?" She answers the phone.
"Hey, Sienna," I greet my older sister. She's older than me by ten years so there's obviously a big age gap there but we're still pretty close. I think what we've been through with the whole abusive father thing really made us incredibly close. And after that, we've both had to deal with our impossible mother.
"Did you tell Mom yet?" She demands.
"Yeah, I just told her," I confirm.
"And? How'd she take it?" Sienna wonders.
"Just about as badly as you'd expect her to take it," I sigh, opening up another tote to pack up the things that are on my desk.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," She tells me. "You have to understand where she's coming from though, Georgia wasn't so kind to her."
"I know that but he's dead, he can't do any more harm," I remind her. "And it's a really amazing school."
"I know. You're doing the right thing, it just helps to be able to see both sides," Sienna explains. "She'll get used to the idea eventually, you just have to give her time."
"Right," I sigh. "Well hopefully, she'll get over it in less than a week. Although I'm sure that she's at work right now looking up pamphlets of art schools in LA."
"Yeah, she probably is," She laughs and then I suddenly start hearing a baby crying in the background.
"Is that the baby?" I ask her although I'm sure that it is- I don't know who else would be crying like a three month old baby. She'd had her second child just three months ago, about a month before I graduated high school, and she's still staying at home with him full time.
"Yeah, Little Bennett just woke up from his nap so I have to go," She tells me apologetically. "Duty calls."
"Sure, that's fine. Tell him that his favorite aunt says hi," I chime.
"I think Ana would have something to say about that," Sienna chuckles, referring to her husband's little sister.
Rolling my eyes, I respond, "No, I'm definitely his favorite. I know that Belle likes Ana better so I get Bennett no matter what."
"Okay, whatever you say," She sings. I know that I'm right because Sienna's three year old daughter, Annabelle, likes Ana better and I think that's because their names sound similar. That's pretty unfair favoritism if you ask me. "I'll talk to you later, Joey."
"Sure, I'll talk to you later. And try to talk to mom for me, okay? Try to ease her into the idea of me leaving," I plead.
"I'll try my best," Sienna tells me as the crying gets louder. "I really have to go. Love you, bye."
Before I can say goodbye back, the line is dead so I toss my phone onto my bed and start packing up my shoes to try and get them into the tote without taking up too much space. Maybe when my mom comes back tonight and sees that I've been packing, she'll realize how serious I am about going to Georgia and she'll stop trying to convince me to go somewhere else.
That's why I didn't tell her until right now, because I knew that she'd start trying to convince me to go somewhere closer to home instead of going to Georgia. She's very protective, my mother is, and that's another reason why I'm going far away, ironically enough. For example, I still have an eleven o'clock curfew, even on weekends, and I'm eighteen. Of course, that didn't stop me from 'staying the night at Jasper's' so that we could go out to parties and stuff but the point is that she's kind of suffocating.
I understand why with her abusive history that she doesn't want me to get into the same kind of trouble that she did but she just has to trust me some more. Maybe, once she can see that I can take care of myself over in Georgia, she'll start to do that. Either way though, I'm going.
I'm going to Atlanta no matter what and I'm going to make it work.
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Song: Something Big by Shawn Mendes
Picture: Cara Delevingne, who plays Jo