Siya was lying on the bed, playing with the ends of her hair and thinking back to the events that took place yesterday. The proposal, her saying yes, her aunt and uncle being upset and her leaving that home with the man to who she was supposedly going to be getting married to.
Her eyes were swollen from crying, but her heart felt a small ray of hope.
But as she has always had to face the worst in her life, She was a broken mess. So her natural instinct was quick to dim that ray. She sighed and made her way over to the attached bathroom to freshen up and get ready for the day.
Rudra was standing outside her door, he had just come back from his jogging and his mind was telling him to talk to Siya about their future if she actually wanted to marry him and the kinds of conditions he had if they were going to go forward with the marriage. But the strings of his heart were pulling him towards that room just to see if she was okay.
He refused to admit that Siya had made a place in his heart. With a deep breath, he knocks on the door and waits for a green light to enter. He hears shuffling and a light bang followed by silence before the door clicks open. He peers down at the big, round, brown eyes that peek through the slightly open door.
She peers up at him as he clears his throat, looking for words.
"Ummmm, mein aanda aa sakta hun?"
(Can I come inside?)
Siya snaps out of her daze and opens the door wide. He steps inside and past her, she watches his back from the door taking in his huge figure as he moves his way around the girly room. The sight of me in such an atmosphere causes Siya to giggle.
The giggle caused Rudra to turn around and raise an eyebrow at her, which immediately stops the sweet sound. The pretty girl lowers her gaze and begins to fiddle with her light green dupatta. Her instant reservations caused Rudra to silently curse himself.
Taking a seat on the bed he gestures for him to sit beside him too.
"Yahan betho."
(Sit here.)
Siya's instinct has always been to follow instructions, which is why she immediately takes a seat next to him careful to keep a healthy distance between them.
"Are you feeling better?"
Siya nods her head.
"Koi problem toh nahi hui na kal raat?"
(Did you have any problems last night?)
Siya shakes her head.
"Tumhe kisi cheez ki tension lene ki zaroorat nahi hai. Okay? I'll take care of everything."
(You don't have to worry about anything.)
Siya nods her head again. And not once in their small conversation did Siya look up from her hands. This causes Rudra to sigh before he turns to face her.
"Siya, dekho mujhe ghoom phira ke baat krni nahi aati. Toh siddha point pr aata hun. Aur mujhe jawad bhi siddhe hi chaahiye. Okay?"
(Siya, look I don't know how to talk in circles, so I'll get straight to the point. And I want straight answers.)
Siya again nods her head.
"Mein tumse shaadi krne ke liye tyaar hun. Pr meri kuch shaartein hai. Manogi?"
(I'm ready to get married to you. But I have some conditions. Will you accept them?)
This time Siya looks up at him, "Ji."
(Yes.)
"Mein khabhi shaadi krna nahi chaahta tha. Pr maa ki zid ke aage mein kuch nahi kr paaya. Aur unko tum bohot pasand ho."
(I never wanted to get married. But maa insisted and I couldn't refuse. And she loves you.)
Siya continues to peek at him through her lashes.
"Meri saabse pehli shaart yeh hai ki tum humesha meri maa ka khayal rakhogi, unhe khabhi hurt nahi krogi."
(My first condition is to always take care of my mother, to never hurt her.)
Rudra waits for a response before moving on to the next one.
"Unki aur aapki wajha se hi toh mein uss ghar se nikal payi. Mein humesha unka khayal rakhungi."
(It is because of her and you that I could get out of that house. I'll always take care of her.)
Rudra nods his head and says, "meri dusri shaart yeh hai ki tum mujhse koi umeed nahi lagaogi. Pati hone ke naate mein tumhari har zaroorat puri karunga lekin usse elava mein aur kuch nahi kr sakta.."
(My second condition is that you are not to keep any expectations from me. Being your husband I'll take care of all your needs, but other than that I can't . . .)
Siya nods her head, her heart and imaginary fairy tale shattering as she says, "Mein koi umeed nahi rakhungi."
(I won't keep any expectations.)
Rudra gazes at the girl before putting forward his last condition.
"Aur akhri baat, tum khabhi meri kissi bhi baat mein dhakhal nahi doongi. Tumhara mere kissi bhi cheez se koi lena dena nahi hoga. Mujhe aapna space pasand hai."
(And the last thing, you will never interfere in any of my things. You will have nothing to do with my anything of mine.I like my space.)
Siya looks up at him, "Mein apke kissi baat mein dhakhal doongi. Pr. . . ."
(I won't interfere in anything but. . .)
Rudra's eyes harden expecting her to object to something, but what she next leaves him shocked. He almost regretted putting forward his conditions.
"Pr, humari shaadi ke baad agar aap mera khayal rakhege. Meri hr zaroorat puri krange, kyunki aap mere pati honge. Toh mere patni hone ke bhi kuch farz haim. Mein aunty ke saath saath apka bhi khayal rakhungi. Aur mujhe yeh krne se rok nahi sakte. Mein aap sab ke liye isske ilava aur kuch kr bhi toh nahi sakti. Mein aapke ehsaan kaise pure krungi. And I'm sorry ki aapki shaadi mujhse ho rahi hai. Mein aapke liyak nahi. I'm a broken mess, mujhe jodte jodte puri zindagi nikal jayegi."
(But, you will take care of me after getting married as a husband. So, as a wife I also have responsibilities. I'll look after you as well as aunty. And you cannot stop me. There is nothing else I can do for you anyway. How will I fulfil these debts of yours? And I'm sorry you're getting married to a girl like me. I'm not worthy of you. I'm a broken mess, it'll take a lifetime to put me together.)
Rudra reached over to hold her hand, tempted to wipe the tears threatening to drop out her eyes, before saying, "I'm not forced into any of this. Mein apni marzi se kr raha hun tumse shaadi. Hum ek family banne ja rahe hai. Toh please, aisa maat kaho ki tum mere layak nahi ho. Meri maa mere liya khabhi koi galat decision nahi karengi. Mujhe toh yeh lagta hai ki mein tumhare liyak nahi, tum ek pyaar krne waala pati deserve krti ho. And I can't give you that."
(It was my choice to say yes to marrying you. We're about to become a family, so don't say you are not worthy of me. My mother would never make a wrong decision for you. I feel that I'm the one not worthy of you. You deserve someone who will love you and I can't give you that.)
Siya looked up, straight into his eye before saying, "You've given me what I've wanted my whole life. A family. Aur dusre ki ghar ki tooti hui cheez aap aapne ghar mein lekar aayen hai. Mujhe ek aachi aur comfortable zindagi dene walle hai, mujhe uss pinjare se aazad krke lekr aaye. Mujhe aur kuch nahi chahiye."
(You've bought a broken thing into your house, you're going to give me a good and comfortable life. You've taken me out of that prison. There is nothing else I could want.)
Rudra sees the honesty in her eyes and words, he struggles to think of what to say to that, he gives her hand a squeeze and stands up to leave.
Before he left he said, "Don't dwell on the past too much. They'll get what they deserve, but I don't want you to worry about that. You just worry about our wedding, okay?"
Siya nods her head and gazes as he leaves. Soon Siya gets up too, heading out to help make breakfast.
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