⚘ Sloppy ⚘
I can feel myself growing more nervous by the second. Today is the day I present my routine to the group, for their opinions. I have had about three days to work on it, but it isn't perfect yet.
I have most of the choreography done, I just need to come up with an ending part.
I'm going to be honest, my head hasn't been in the right place. With the roommates I have, I get distracted easily. It's been three days and I already am regretting sharing a bathroom with Minho.
There have been so many times where I've been late all because he took so long getting ready. And it's not like I can get ready with him, because he locks all the damn doors when he goes into the bathroom. It's gotten to the point where I am doing it as well just to prove a point on how annoying it is— Yet he doesn't seem to notice.
I whistle a tune as I make my way to the dance studio. When I enter, almost everybody is there. Seungmin, who's sitting next to Chan, waves at me, so I walk over to him with a smile. I stand by his side as Chan motions everybody to come over to us.
I smile at Felix, but I drop my smile when my eyes go to Minho. He is manspreading on the leather couch, and he looks me up and down. I don't want to eye him, because he might get the wrong idea with the way he is sitting. I turn my attention away before I make a mistake.
"Alright." Chan clears his throat as everybody gathers. "I'm sure we all know why we are here, so I am not going to explain." he looks to me. "Are you ready?"
I nod my head, and drop my bag. Seungmin gives me a supportive smile as I do so. I smile back, and turn away. Chan follows me, but heads over to the computer as I head to the middle of the room.
I'm very nervous. I knew this was coming today. I knew I was going to have to dance, however, I wasn't exactly so prepared. I don't even have the full dance finished.
"Loosen up." Chan says, "Don't be nervous. We are only here to give you our opinions, you don't even have to listen to them if you don't want too." He turns back to me. "Alright, you ready?"
"Yeah." I nod my head, dropping my arm that I was stretching out. "You can play it." I say, and look away from him.
The music starts, and I get this wave of something. I don't know what it is, but I ignore it. I look at everyone as they watch me. When the beat of Play with Fire starts, I wrap my hand around my neck.
As the song goes on, I continue to follow the routine I created. It's almost like muscle memory at this point. I make sure to keep my facial expressions on point, as well as just keeping the dance intriguing.
I drop to the floor, a smile spreading on my face. I can hear some of the members let out noises, as well as claps. As the song plays, I feel myself getting more caught up in the moment.
I love dancing. I love moving my body in a way that is attractive, I love the reactions I get when I impress, I love the routine, I love to dance. I know I was made for this, and I know this is what I'm meant to do.
By the time the routine I made is done, I am sweating. I stand up while the song is still playing, and that causes Chan to tilt his head. He pauses the music.
"That's all I have right now." I say, panting a bit. "I need to create a good ending, but I have everything else figured out. So yeah.."
"That was fucking awesome." I hear Jisung say, and when I turn my head to him he starts clapping. That causes the others, other than one, to start clapping. I chuckle with a smile.
"Was it really?" I ask, wiping the sweat off of my forehead.
"Yeah!" Changbin says. "You're a good dancer Hyunjin." He smiles. His smile makes me feel better, because it seems to genuine. I was so nervous nobody would like it, so I'm glad he did.
"I think it was really good." Chan says, walking over to my side. "I'm going to be honest, I was expecting worse— no offense— but you were amazing." He says, and turns to Minho. "What about you dance captain? What did you think?"
My heart starts to beat faster when he brings Minho into this. The thought of Minho judging me is making me nervous. I don't know why. I guess I just want to seem like I am something, like I have place here. I know he thinks I don't, so I hope he changes his mind.
I look over to the said man, and our eyes meet. He tilts his head, and crosses his arms. "I think it was sloppy." He says flatly. "Very, sloppy."
I can hear Chan sigh. "Minho." He warns.
"And that one move? Where you dropped to the floor and smiled like that? I wouldn't include that in the final dance." He says in a very harsh tone. "If I were you.. of course."
"I think that's the best part." Felix speaks up.
Minho turns his head to him, and that's all it takes for the younger to stop talking. It's like Minho has an influence on all the members and their decisions. However, he is kind of the second leader— so I understand.
But it still makes me angry. I take a deep breath. "Is that really what you think?"
He turns back to me, a sly smile. "Of course."
Chan sighs and turns to me, his back facing everybody else. He shakes his head. "Don't listen to him, he's just being salty. It was amazing, and I think you will nail the performance."
And I did. I spent the next couple of days mastering that performance, and I created an amazing ending. I took Minho's words into consideration, and made sure my dancing did not look sloppy at all.
Now it's time to film the video. Chan has already announced to the fan base that there is a new member joining, and everybody is waiting for my dance video to be uploaded.
I've read some comments on the post about a new member joining, and there are some mixed reactions I have to admit. There are some who are thrilled, and others who are nervous. Which is understandable.
For my video, I have gone with a very royal theme. I am wearing a white and black outfit— but I have two different shirts for the outfit. I also have my black hair tied up with a white ribbon, and I have some makeup on to enhance my looks. Overall, I think I look amazing.
Everybody else agrees as well. I took a photo and sent it to the group chat, and almost everybody is praising me. I'm at the shoot with only Chan, and a few staff. It's my individual time to shine, and I can't help but feel fluttery.
I'm sitting in the makeup chair when Chan approaches me. He walks into the room with a smile. "Are you ready for this? Your big debut, your moment to shine?"
I smile. I try not to nod my head, because the makeup artist is trying her best. "I am." I say. "It's funny though, I'm not even nervous or anything. I'm just so ready to be done with this performance."
Chan chuckles. "I get that.. you've been stuck on it for a week." He says. "The director said to be out in five, so we can start shooting in ten." He speaks to me, but also the makeup artist.
"Alright." I smile.
I stay still for the next couple of minutes, letting the makeup artist do her thing. If I'm being honest, I don't even recognize myself by the time she's done. I look fancier than I've ever looked.
I love it though. I love everything about this, if I'm being honest. I walk out of the room to meet the crew, setting up the performance for me. My entrance consists of me tying my hair up in a mirror, then going to dancing.
The director motions for everybody to get ready, and it's funny watching everybody scatter at his words. I walk over to my place, and wait for my cue.
By the time I am done filming, it's already late at night. I get a ride home from Chan himself, which consisted of him praising me the whole time. He watched the whole performance, and told me that he was so happy with what I've created.
It all just feels so unreal. Not even a month ago I was lost on what I was going to do after college, and now I'm on a dance team. Now I'm going to be introduced to the public, to so many fans. It's all just so dream-like.
Chan pulls into the apartment complex, parking his car in the reserved spot. He walks with me inside, and we just talk about everything and nothing. I think Chan, after Felix of course, is the member I feel most comfortable with. I like him, a lot.
Our apartments are on different levels, so he wishes me a goodbye when I leave the elevator. I walk down the corridor with tired steps, ready to just go to bed. I'm going to have to get used to dancing all day. It's for sure an adjustment.
I unlock the apartment door and step inside quietly, like always. I try to avoid drawing attention to myself, because sometimes it doesn't go well. I take my shoes off and make my way to the kitchen, where Jisung and Minho are sitting.
Jisung turns to me. "Hey!" He says, walking over to me. "You're back. How was shooting? Did everything go well?"
Minho turns to me as well, his eyes looking me up and down. I don't look to him though. I nod my head at Jisung. "It did. I'm so tired though."
My hair is falling out at this point, but at least my makeup still looks better than ever. I'm still wearing my outfit from the filming. I didn't bother to change when I was leaving.
"That's understandable." Jisung nods, turning back to Minho. "Minho and I were waiting for you to get back." He says.
My eyes to go Minho, but his eyes go to Jisung instead. He gives the younger a look, to which Jisung smiles slyly. I keep my eyes on Minho and just nod. "Oh... is that so..."
His eyes goes to me. "I wouldn't get your hopes up."
I furrow my brows. Here we go again. I sigh. "My hopes up? What's that supposed to mean.." I tilt my head at him. "I could care less if you think about me."
He raises a brow. "Why are you getting defensive?"
"I am not!"
"Seems like it." He smirks, and takes a sip from his glass of alcohol.
"The h—"
Jisung slams his glass on the counter after he downs the rest of the liquid inside it. "That's enough. Quit it." He says firmly. "I'm tired, I've waited a while for Hyunjin, and I am not in the mood to listen to you guys argue over something petty. So shut up."
Minho raises his head. "Excuse me?" He asks.
His tone and gaze intimidates me, and I'm not the one who's getting told off. Jisung seems a bit nervous, his body language screaming it, however he stands his ground. He glares back at Minho.
I decide to leave the room before anything happens. I clear my throat, signaling that I'm going, and then walk down the hall to my bedroom. I have to take off my makeup, as well as shower the sweat off my body. I'm so tired, but I'd rather be doing this than watch to them argue with their eyes.