Honestly, I think this conversation with Harley was helping a lot, which was such a strange, scary feeling. I've never talked so easily with anyone, not my mother, brother, or therapist.
To have this kind of feeling for a man I barely even know anymore was off-putting. "How old are you now, anyway?" He asks, changing the subjects thankfully. He could probably tell that it made me uncomfortable to talk about it.
"Nineteen." He nods his head before wincing a little.
"I regret what I said earlier now." He chuckles and I grow flustered again at just the thought of the vulgar sentence. "Still a baby."
"You say that like you're an old man. What are you? Twenty-four? Right? You were younger than Finnic." I purposefully avoided the subject of his dirty comment. I didn't need to flush any more today as it is, or my cheeks might end up staying that color.
"Yeah, but still it felt like a lifetime ago." A moment of silence passed between the two of us before I stood up exhausted from the events of today and feeling the scratch in my throat getting worse.
"It was good seeing you again, Harley. I'm going to head home. Tell Finnic I said bye, I don't want to bother him." I make sure to smooth out my dress not needing any more embarrassment today.
"Good seeing you too, sweets. Let me walk you to your car." He stood up as well, his tall, gigantic stature towering over me. He was humongous compared to the average person. It wasn't like I was considered short, but he still had a good head over me.
"You don't have to." I try to reason with him because I had already bothered him enough today. He was surprisingly nice to me, not that he was ever mean when we were younger. I can just tell that he has something on his mind revolving around me that he wasn't comfortable with. I see it in his eyes now and again.
"It's not a problem." He insisted, and I didn't argue any further because he was just like my brother in his stubbornness. The two of them were so hardheaded it's a wonder they have stayed friends all these years. Whenever they got into a disagreement, I would refer to them as the two bulls because that's what it was like watching them.
We walked out to where I parked my car, I stumbled over my feet a little, partially because of his looming presence behind me. He opened my door and held out his hand to help me slide into the seat. They fit so well together it almost made me not want to let go. As if he felt the same way our fingers dragged down each other in an attempt to get just a second longer of physical touch.
"Thank you. You've been my rock today." I feel like I owe him something now. First, he saves me from embarrassment, then he lets me follow him around like a lost puppy all evening, and now he's walking me to my car.
"It isn't a problem. I've enjoyed your company." He says while he stares into my eyes. My stomach clenched and my heart did this little fluttering thing, that tingling feeling was back and I didn't want to get rid of it this time. I knew whatever attraction I was feeling right now was bogus, Harley? Like, come on now heart this was Harley. I had just been alone for so long my heart was mistaking kindness for flirting. That was the only logical explanation.
There was no logical reason that Harley would be flirting with me, look at me. Look at me with my frizzy hair and littered face, I don't have the perfect smile like the girls on tv do, I came with more baggage than most and no one deserves to have to sort out all my crap. Harley was like a god, powerful, physically and financially. Too good for anyone in this tiny town, he needed some big-shot lawyer or something.
"I'll see you around sweets." He says and crouches down to the car window level, his beautiful green eyes staring at me intently before he leans in and kisses my cheek. His lips felt so warm and so, so good.
Just like that and he had mixed up my perspective of life.
~.~.~.~.~
I knew as soon as the door pushed open so easily that something was wrong my suspicion was confirmed when the couch was sliced into, stuffing spread all over the room. My nature pictures busted laying scattered along with the other debris. My once homey apartment was nothing more than a trap for bad memories now. I cover my mouth as sobs escape through the gaps between each finger.
To top off everything red spray paint with the words, 'See you soon, bitch' were written on my rug.
I've worked so hard for this, all for nothing. I should have known better than to get my heart attached to anything he will never let me have something good in my life.
My shaky hands draw out the only person I can call about this.
"Finnic?" I ask through the line; he can hear there is something wrong in my voice.
"Maddie? You, okay?" He asked, worried.
"He's done it again."
~.~.~.~.~
Finnic paces my hallway. The rug is rolled up and propped against the wall. The words that had been painted on it made me nauseated.
"This son of a bitch is going to pay this time!" I wince at the curse word even though this was the perfect time for them. If I wasn't so against them then I might have even used a couple, myself.
"I'm sorry I bothered you during your engagement announcement."
The words come out horse and meek. The emotional drain that he has on me is ridiculous. Years of this tormenting. It was more than any normal person could manage.
"Don't you apologize." He crouched down in front of me and stroked my hair soothingly. "You are my family. We're in this together, Maddie." He kisses my forehead and then roughs up my hair like always.
"Why won't he leave me alone?" I say finally letting the tears run down my cheeks. I was so exhausted from feeling like this and always looking over my shoulder, never knowing what I'm going to find. This wasn't any way to live.
"Because we didn't let him get away with what he had done, we stopped him from doing it to someone else. Don't second guess getting the bastard locked up, Maddie." He pulled me to his chest and squeezed me so hard the air left my lungs. "Come on, pack a bag for a couple of days. I'm going to have your locks changed and your stuff replaced."
"You don't have to do that." I let the blanket that I had wrapped over my shoulders fall to the ground. "Are you sure? I mean I'm not trying to invade you and Liz. You two have already done so much for me. Plus, you two just got engaged."
"I am positive, Maddie. Liz would kill me if I left you here all alone." He pushes me in the direction of my dresser, clearly telling me to get my stuff together and quit fussing.
I go to work packing three days' worth of clothes, toothbrush and paste, brush, and my computer. I will make sure to put on some work clothes because I have work not tomorrow but the next day.
I glanced around at the rubble of my once decently furnished bedroom, and I winced. This would at least cost an easy grand to replace. There is no way I was going to let him pay for all of this.
"Ready?" He asked me as I walked into the kitchen from the bedroom. I nod meekly. I was overwhelmed, I just wanted to curl up somewhere and rest. It wasn't helping that my throat was getting worse, clearly getting a cold of some sort.
"Yeah." Finnic grabs my bags from me, and we head to his silver truck. He tossed the bags in the back and we both started the trip back to his new house. It was quiet, I think Finnic knew I needed some space right now.
A cough crawls out of my throat and I cover my mouth. "That didn't sound good. Getting sick?"
"I think so." My voice even sounded a little scratchier. This was perfect, I wasn't having a good day.
When we pulled into his driveway a few moments later there were only three vehicles there. "I'm going to go through the back." Despite there being fewer people here I still didn't want to talk to anyone right now, just wanted to go to sleep for the rest of my life.
I could feel my bones aching from the emotional drainage today has been.
"Okay. I will check in on you as soon as everyone goes home. The guest bedroom is the second door on the left." We go our separate ways. I'm glad Finnic didn't hover, that he knew when I needed space. He has always been the rock in my life.
Sticking up for me because I never stick up for myself.
I remember when I was only eleven years old there was this boy a grade ahead of me that would always sit by me on the bus and pick on me relentlessly. Finnic sat at the back, so he never really heard anything that the boy was saying. Finally, the boy, James Green, said something that struck a nerve. I was sensitive but not so sensitive that I would cry over the slightest jab. So, all his previous comments about my mom and dad had never hurt my feelings. We were getting close to the end of the year when his jabs started to get more personal.
Your ugly
Your freckles look like someone pooped on your face
Your hair stinks
Just petty stuff like that. It wasn't until one morning when he grabbed my chin and made me turn my face to him and said, "You're never going to amount to be anybody, you'll be working a corner before you even get out of high school," Back when I was that young, I had this problem with people touching me, it just set off a nerve that made me go into a panic attack. I rushed off the bus trying not to let Finnic see.
My luck, I had run into Harley on the way to the bathroom and he just knew from the expression on my face that something was wrong. He pretty much all but dragged me back to Finnic.
That poor boy had left a bruise on my chin. After some prodding they got me to tell them what happened, and Finnic beat the crap out of that boy. So bad that Harley took the blame for it so my brother wouldn't get suspended.
Harley didn't have a good household, so he said he wouldn't get in trouble for it, but my mother would have had Finnic's tale.
I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for them.
I ease the back door open trying to create as little noise as possible.
When I spun around my face planted into Harley's chest.
"Ouch." I rub my nose. Was this becoming a habit?
"I thought you left?" He asks grumpily. His cheery mood from earlier seemed to have dispersed. I wonder what has him in a bad mood now.
"I did." I tried to walk past him, but he grabs my elbow and spins me around to face him.
"You've been crying." He points it out. "What happened?"
"Nothing," I say and shrug my shoulders. He starts to walk to the living room me in tow beside him, but I plant my heels into the flooring. "What are you doing?"
"Taking you to Finnic." He tries to walk again but I don't let him.
"He already knows. He's the one that came and got me. Please drop it." I say as voices began to grow louder. His eyebrows furrow before he lets me go and nods.
There it was again, that look in his eyes that held something I wasn't used to seeing there.
I follow the directions that Finnic told me and end up in their guest room. I don't pay too much attention to the decor of it or anything more than the bed as I dive into it.
The smell of the comforter was mesmerizing, and it was so much softer than my own.
It didn't take long, and I was dozing into a well-needed sleep.
-.-.-.-.-
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