TW: Panic attack
Thoughts are wrote like this! :)
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Tommy's POV:
I woke up.
I struggled to take in air as I shot up. My heart was beating right out of my chest and my thoughts raced just as quickly. My chest hurt, constricted. Scratching at my arms. i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe i can't breathe I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BREATHE I CAN'T BRE-
"Tommy! take deep breaths.. In, one.. two.. three.. four.. Hold, one.. two.. three.. four.. Out, one.. two.. three.. four.." A voice instructed from behind. I followed as we did this a few more times until I recognized the voice.
"R-ranboo.." I muttered. I could here a hum of acknowledgment from behind me. I took in my surroundings and realized where I was. I was in the bedroom that Ranboo, Tubbo, and I shared for the Dream SMP meetup. This was our last week here before we all took a flight back. I also noticed that Ranboo was hugging me. I was leaning on them as he traced shapes onto my arms.
"Are you feeling any better?" He asked, tracing a diamond on my arm.
I sighed. "Yeah, just a bad dream.." I rubbed my hand with my thumb, making circle shapes to calm myself. We sat together in silence as I calmed down.
"Where's Tubbo?" I asked after a minute.
"Oh, he went out with some of the others for a coffee." Their voice remained quiet as they spoke. The silence returned as I relaxed into the other, leaning into his chest. (picture how they were sat in the "Two boys chilling in Amsterdam park-" clip.)
"Wilbur is talking to your parents about setting up long term therapy back in England.."
My teeth clenched. I didn't need to speak to anyone about my problems, it would be too much of a hassle and the therapist would probably suck anyway.
"I'm sorry Toms, but I think this is what's going to be best for you." He took a deep breath and hugged me tighter for a moment. "I also decided that I'm going to move out to England permanently. I've missed my friends and want to be closer to you guys. Plus, I want to be there for you." My breath caught in my throat. Ranboo, moving to England?
"Good heavens Ran, that's amazing!" I looked up and saw them smiling with their eyes. "Thank you."
Maybe this won't be so bad after all..
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Authors Note:
Woah! I'm alive! Sorry for such the long break. Back in March my friend died and I found it hard to continue a series based on death. I spiraled back into my depression and had very little motivation. Recently, I have found myself some new friends who are supportive and kind. I decided that I will be ending this book. There will only be a couple chapters left, as I do not want to stretch this on for too long. However, I am going to try my best to give this book the ending that it deserves.
Thank you all for reading, it means a lot that people are willing to read a story that is greatly based on a very dark time in my life. I love you all (/p) and will see you all soon ;)