I just want this to get over, being here knowing that everyone is checking on me every other second secretly, it's suffocating me, I need to get out of here as soon as possible. I hate that look on their faces, a look of sympathy, I would rather die, I don't need anything from them not even emotional support, I can do better by myself, I guess...I took a seat and the maid served me dinner, I was eating peacefully but Grandma broke an awkwardly comfortable silence,
"Are you alright YN?"
"Yes Grandma"
I replied looking at her and again there was a silence which I'm loving for now, but god is not on my side, Grandma again spoke,
"I told Taehyung about Eunwoo"
I internally rolled my eyes and nodded, not that I cared, I mean what is even doing here? she cleared her throat and almost ordered,
"So I want both of you to talk after this"
I had already seen this coming, unwantedly I nodded once and didn't care to look anywhere. Everyone sat in silence and ate dinner peacefully, maybe... I didn't dare to look up at anyone I didn't want to. Unfortunately, soon everyone finished eating, me too, Grandma cleared her throat and spoke,
"Taehyung take her upstairs"
He sighed and without waiting for me headed upstairs, well what can you expect from a man like him? I scoffed internally and went upstairs, I already knew where is his room so don't get lost in those vast hallways. I can do this, for Eun-woo, I have to do this...As I reached the front of the room, the door was opened wide, I gulped nervously as those worst memories started flashing in my mind, I shrug them off, this is not the right time, I have to be stronger, I took a deep breath and entered inside.
He was talking on the phone standing near the window,
"I'll call you later"
He declined the call and stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets, I look up at him and found him already staring at me, it was like the fourth time we are going to talk, my hands were already sweaty, as I never initiated any talk with him ever, it was always him.
The first time, was on our wedding day right before an hour ago of us getting married, he yelled at me for agreeing to marry him, like I had any choice... the second time, our first night, huh, he made it clear to me that he won't ever love me and the third time, a day before leaving a few hours before the party, he told me that he is moving to Singapore with his girlfriend like I ever cared...
I shrug off my overthinking, I don't want to be near him for even a minute, I hope this is all a bad dream, but it's not, right now I'm standing in front of The great Kim Taehyung, this is for Eun-woo, I reminded myself again... pulling out the appointment receipt from my purse handed it to him and spoke,
"Whenever you get time visit the doctor, I decided on a test tube"
He seemed to be taken back by my words, I maintained my cold face, and spoke,
"Hope you can hide this too from Grandma"
"I am-"
"It's late I'll leave first"
Not wanting to talk to him further I immediately rushed outside, there was nothing more to talk about anyway, but I did it, and feeling satisfied enough I headed towards Grandma's room, and knocked on the door before entering inside. She passed a smile to which I just nodded and stood silently in front of her, she sighed and spoke,
"Did you two talk?"
I nodded.
"So...?"
"Grandma, I'm ready but just for Eunwoo and I still decide to divorce him later"
"But YN what about the kids, what'll you tell them later?"
"Truth Grandma, I never planned to hide this all from them"
"But what about the unborn baby, you'll give it birth just to save Eunwoo?"
"I never planned to give birth to Eunwoo and Yuri also-"
"Enough"
She yelled and I stopped, I look down at the ground focusing on my breathing, I have to be strong. It's true when I first discovered my pregnancy I never planned to keep the baby but Grandma insist because she desired an heir for her family. I tried every way to abort the child until I got to know there are twins, since then I decided to give up on the idea of abortion and decided to create my own little family.
She stood up and came in front of me, while folding her arms she ordered,
"From tomorrow, along with Eunwoo and Yuri, you are shifting here until you gave birth to another child"
I look up at her in disbelief, she was already fuming in anger, I don't want her to get the sick cause of me so I just nodded and bid goodbye.
As I sat in the backseat of the car, a message appeared on my screen,
'I want money~'
I sighed and asked the driver to stop by a known location. Soon we reached there, I got out of the car and asked them to wait for me. I entered the house and as usual smelled the reek of alcohol, with trembling legs I entered the living room and received a slap across my face...
"...I decided on a test tube"
Is she for real? I mean I don't want to get close to her but in this kind of situation she still dares to take risks, she is really something. I look at the receipt in her hands, I held it and she immediately spoke,
"Hope you can hide this too from Grandma"
Wow, that was too direct, I mean I accept I am at fault but she can't just rub it onto my face right now when we met her after almost six years. who you are kidding with boy? you left her alone and ruined her life getting her pregnant, you deserved this...but she could say no for our wedding so it's not my fault completely, she chose this too. I cleared my throat and spoke,
"I'm-"
She cut me in between,
"It's late I'll leave first"
I blinked my eyes, that was...I look at her disappearing figure, she is more much mature now, I remember our earlier conversations, she never used to speak anything or argue, she used to just cry at night, I saw her a few times...but her eyes... they were still same, I can still look pain in them although she put a facade on her face showing everyone that she is the happiest. Suddenly I felt guilty, because of me she is stuck here, between my family, I took away her freedom...
After fixing myself I entered the car and with closed eyes asked the driver to take me home asap. I was feeling so tired to face anyone I just hope the kids might be asleep by now, I don't want anyone to see my vulnerable side. As I reached I found Jennie sitting in the dining alone, I put my purse on the coffee table and asked,
"Why are you not sleeping?"
She look at me and passed a nervous smile, I frowned and took a seat beside her, I look around and asked,
"Where is Jimin and Jungkook?"
"They left earlier"
I nodded and asked,
"Why are you still up?"
"Did you meet hyung?"
"Unfortunately"
"What did he say?"
I rolled my eyes and sighed at her question, I know she wants us to be together but that's impossible, not wanting to break her heart harshly I replied calmly,
"I decided on a test tube and after that, we'll divorce"
"Di..divorce"
"Listen, Jen, he already loves someone else and I don't like him too so it's the best for us"
"But unnie what about Eunwoo and Yuri, it's hard to be a single parent"
"I know Jen, but he already has his loved ones"
I shrug casually, she was about to cry,
"Unnie you both can talk, and work out this relationship"
"Relationship? Jen, it's just a thing on paper nothing more..."
With teary eyes she look at me in disbelief, I sighed and holding her hands in mine I told her,
"Grandma ordered me to shift there until I gave birth to the baby"
She frowned, she didn't believe me, I scoffed and nodded. She squealed with happiness and hugged me tightly, I winced due to pain but luckily she didn't notice. She broke the hug and spoke,
"Let's pack your stuff"
I nodded and she rushed into my room, I chuckled at her overexcited figure and join her to pack all the necessary stuff. She kept talking with me all time while I silently packed the stuff, finally, she dozed off after a half hour only and slept comfortably on my bed, while I continued and within an extra hour packed everything and put the packed boxes in the living room.
I sighed as I put the last luggage beside the couch and look at the watch it was almost 3 in the morning so there is no use sleeping and I don't want to too. I went to my study and sat on my chair, I opened my laptop and was about to start working but... those voices again start ringing at the back of my head, what if the results came negative? what if he didn't get agree? what if I have to get intimate with him? Would I be able to do that? can I save my baby? can I provide him with a normal life just like Yuri?
Before that thought could take over me I tried my best to shrug them off and searched for the pills, as found them I immediately gulped down one of them. As Jimin taught me, I rested my back on the chair and closed my eyes, I relaxed my body and start focusing on my breathing, I breathe in, hold it, and exhaled, first few attempts were shaky but soon I get accustomed to it and continue it for another few minutes.
When I felt my brain getting numb, I opened my eyes, I look around and my eyes stopped at the picture frame kept right in front of me on my table, it was me, Eun-woo, and Yuri, we all are hugging each other tightly while smiling brightly. I still remember that day, it was their 3 rd birthday, I took them to the huge aquarium, and they were beyond happy after visiting there.
My smile disappeared as I remember that very night when Eun-woo fainted in my arms, i was so helpless at that time I wasn't able to even take him to the hospital. Thanks to Jungkook, who came to celebrate their birthday, he took him to the hospital, I was so scared at that moment that i still get goosebumps remembering that night. I stayed all night and didn't dare to leave Eun-woo's side after the doctor told me about his condition, I completely broke down.
There's a solution to every problem, I told that myself, and I stayed strong for my children. They are my life I can do anything for them and I will do anything to protect them...anything just for them. I took a deep breath shrugging off everything before those thoughts again come back, I look back at my screen and start typing, and I busied myself with the work again...
TIME SKIP
I was so grossed in work that I lost track of time, my fingers are still working on the keyboard while my eyes were looking at the screen god knows for how many hours, I was typing but stopped when someone rang the bell of the apartment. I took a glance at the wall clock, shit...! It is 9 in the morning, I immediately rushed towards the main door and opened it revealing Dad.
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