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H.STYLES
To say that Harry Styles struggled to find the rhythm during the first dance class he was dragged to attend would be an understatement. There were only two people before him, River and the dance teacher, yet it felt like the entire world watched and criticised him. On the other hand, River flew across the room with ease, smooth in her steps, her turns, the backward dips of her movements. No wonder she moved like a professional when she had been exposed to these lessons from a young age. Harry didn't think he could become even more attracted to her then he saw her dance, and he swore his heart doubled its pace.
By the time the hour ended, he expected to see tears in the eyes of his reflection. Instead, he saw sweat around his hairline, drops down his temples, not to mention the state of his shirt. He spoke no words as he removed himself from the room and stood under the shower for a good ten minutes.
Absolute horror.
And to think he would have to go through more of this? It dawned on him that maybe he'll find himself sick on the day of the Oxford Ball.
Jesus fucking Christ.
The Oxford Ball. Disbelief induced chuckles surrounded him in the empty shower stall as he tried to process his reality. In all his life he never thought he would ever be able to attend a school like Oxford so he never thought of it as a possibility when he applied for higher education. Whilst he didn't know more than he was exposed to about his family's past, he was aware that his father graduated from Cambridge which was about the closest he ever got to such a prestigious education.
Today, as a twenty-eight-year-old, he was preparing to enter a similar very fairy-tale-like establishment, and dance on its floors.
Nothing about this made sense. Harry did not belong in that environment.
Thoughts started to drown him in his own mind but he caught the door before it slammed shut. Put his foot in its way and finished off his shower, got ready, and made his way towards the reception area to meet River. The pair of jeans he wore with a white t-shirt and a black bomber jacket over it felt slightly chilly as he neared the reception area and was welcomed by the outside air.
Except when Harry walked through the glass doors, he found River occupied with a man a couple of inches taller than her. The suit he wore and the position he took up told Harry this man had money, and whilst Harry could only see his back, he was certain of who it had to be.
Instantly, Harry felt transported back to the Adelaide Aid Gala where he purposefully interrupted River's dance with Charlie. Without a doubt, as he neared the two of them, he recognised the man from that night and he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out why the shape of Charlie was so engraved in his memory.
"Charlie, no," River emphasised as her lips curled up into a forced smile, one that made Harry believe she didn't have a way out of her conversation. He knew her well enough to not interfere but linger by the large flower pot that seemed to house a miniature tree.
It didn't go by Harry's attention when River stretched one of her arms and rolled up the sleeve of her blue shirt. It was rare that he saw her fidget like this because he was used to the way she played with the ring on her pointer finger. The initial thought of her being uncomfortable rooted itself in his brain and kicked his urge to interrupt into place.
River's potential anger kept him at bay.
Instead, he turned to the screen of his phone and tried to not think of the way those white trousers hugged River's curves like they were specifically made for her. In fact, he was certain they were tailored to her because everything she owned was fitted to her flawlessly. The more he focused on the shape of her body the less he understood the words written in the message before him.
Dad: Harry, I need to see you and your brothers. It is urgent.
No matter how many times he read over those few words it seemed like his brain refused to process them. Years of no contact from his father to relentless texts, calls, even emails to his personal and work address, made Harry feel stressed. Although he tried his best to come up with a response to one of the many things his father sent him nothing felt appropriate to share.
When Harry spoke to Nicholas, his brother revealed he also had no idea how to reconnect with their father and he also ignored everything he was sent. Since Christian lived with Harry, he knew that Chris didn't pay any attention to the unsaved number. In fact, Harry was certain his brother deleted then blocked the number.
The situation was peculiar and Styles felt he had no one who would understand him. A few friends here and there would've heard him out, and he even played with the idea of opening up to River about this in more depth, but he knew that he would never be able to connect with anyone.
Although Harry didn't want to admit it to himself because it gave his father power which he didn't want to do, he did stay up a couple of nights and wrestled himself over his thoughts. Should he call his father back? Should he keep ignoring him? Was it a mistake to remain detached from his parents? Did he make the right choice by not associating with them anymore? Guilt. Anger. Loneliness. It all dawned on him during those vulnerable moments and he couldn't escape.
"Harry?"
Immediately, he turned his head and looked up, "Hm?"
"Are you alright?" River's worried expression made Harry think he got lost in his own world, completely zoned out as he usually found himself lately. The smell of her perfume filled his senses as he inhaled deeply, and immediate comfort spread through his chest. Eyes carefully took in her face to find she'd also took some time to refresh in the changing room. River glowed as she usually did, more beautiful than the last time he saw her this close. "I have called your name a few times and I thought you might be in shock."
He chuckled under his breath, not from amusement but disbelief. Shock made a lot of sense. Shock described pretty well how he felt about his father's sudden reappearance. "I'm fine. A lot on my mind."
River opened her mouth to say something but decided against it, lips pressed together, and she nodded. "If you need to talk to someone I'm here."
"I know," he nodded with a gentle smile with the hope that she would drop the discussion because he wasn't ready. Determined to change the subject, he asked if she was ok to leave then put his arm over her shoulders as they left the building.
The cool wind slammed right into Harry's face as they stepped out. Even River lost her balance for a moment and she gripped the back of his bomber jacket around his waist to secure herself. Harry chuckled, his lips pressed to her temple, and ushered River towards the black Rolls Royce that waited for them in the car park.
Anthony sat inside, as he usually did when River needed a ride, and Harry greeted him with the usual dip of his chin. He thought he should've been used to the chauffeur by now but his brain didn't catch up fast enough. In fact, Harry wasn't even buckled in when the driver took off in the direction of their next destination. Wherever that was.
As if River read his mind while she held onto his left hand only to twist and turn his rings around his fingers, she said, "I hope you don't mind I took control of your schedule for today."
"I had nothing planned, anyway," he smiled at her and lifted their hands to kiss the back of hers. River rolled her lips into her mouth and intertwined her fingers with his once they were lowered back onto her thigh. "Care to share?"
She exhaled as her attention dropped to their hands once more. Something shifted the happiness she felt before, and Harry was certain that something was Charlie. Still, he didn't feel like he could bring it up and question her about it. He was reluctant and hoped River would initiate the conversation.
"You will need a tux for the ball in December, and I am likely to be incredibly busy in the next couple of months so I am not entirely sure when I will have time like this again to shop around," she began to explain in detail which wasn't surprising. At the same time, Harry felt this was unnatural for her—even he felt uncomfortable as she spoke. Like she didn't know why she said everything as if she owned him an explanation.
The lack of eye contact. The way she played with his rings. The quiet and timid approach to saying anything.
"What's wrong?" he demanded, though he didn't mean to sound harsh. It caused River to look at him at once, eyes slightly widened in surprise. Harry couldn't control the furrow of his brows, the frantic movement of his eyes as they danced between hers in search for an answer.
"Nothing," she shook her head lightly, fingers busy with the rings Harry wore. When she averted her gaze, he kept his fixated like he'd be able to see through her and read her mind. "My mind's gone elsewhere. I may be slightly stressed but it's nothing to worry about."
The fact that she didn't bring up the conversation she had with Charlie told Harry that her problems stemmed from there. Without the intent of sounding like a controlling dickhead, Harry thought about how to ask her what was discussed between them. It felt like he had no right to know but he also realised it wasn't up to him to decide that—River would tell him.
"Were you speaking to Charlie before?" simple and easy. He waited for her to reply as she continued to twist the ring around his middle finger.
"Yes," she responded a moment later.
"Did he upset you?" he asked. This time the question felt more accusatory but not toward River. Something unfamiliar came over him when he thought of another man upsetting River. Anyone upsetting River made him want to go ballistic, if he had to be honest.
"I would not refer to it that way," she deflected and it meant exactly what he asked. Charlie upset her and it made Harry's stomach squeeze. "The relationship I have with Charlie is special. We often do not see eye to eye on matters, which is fine, though he has the worst timing when it comes to discussing those matters."
There were many words that jumped to the tip of his tongue. All of them harsh and no doubt hurtful. Instead, he hummed as he acknowledged what River said as well as what went through his mind.
"I don't understand anything about your relationship with him but I want to talk to you about this. The thought of him upsetting you makes me want to punch him in the face. Repeatedly. Wearing brass knuckles."
He didn't know what to expect from River but it certainly wasn't her chuckling at his response. The sound made his heart calm, its beating regular again. Every time she laughed the world healed a little more. The sun painted the sky a little brighter. The birds sang a little longer.
"I appreciate your protectiveness more than you know but please, darling, refrain from using Charlie's face as your boxing bag."
"I can't make a promise unless he starts acting less like a prick."
This time, when River understood that Harry didn't have any plans of backing down, she exhaled as she gave in. While she said, "He had to cancel our weekly lunch meeting due to another commitment. He wanted to reschedule but my week is already filled, and I when I told him we can catch up in two weeks it somehow seemed to bother him," she paid no mind to Anthony who heard everything. Then again, the man heard every conversation between her and Harry, and possibly even more, so it was Harry who, again, needed to get accustomed to the man's presence.
"So, you'll, uh, you'll keep seeing him for lunch every week?" he asked. Wasn't sure why since he knew the answer would be yes. Harry didn't understand anything about arranged or planned or whatever the hell their marriage was going to be but he knew that if it was planned it was going to go ahead. Whether or not Harry decided to jump on the rollercoaster for a ride or two in the meantime wasn't going to change anything.
Harry had always known River was promised away. Plenty of occasions brought Charlie Radcliffe to the Clubhouse, and Harry witnessed all of them. It was ridiculous how many times he caught the two with linked arms amongst people who were present to witness their enchantment with each other. Those moments weren't enough to deter Harry—no, they only made his heart beat faster because he undoubtedly had always had a crush on River Hamilton.
This was another one of those many things that he disliked thinking about and would've much rather just enjoyed his time with the woman of his goddamn dreams. There was no denying that River Hamilton proved herself to be everything he wanted in a woman. Determined. Successful. Funny. Kind. Mature. Passionate.
Incredibly attractive, too. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Breath-taking. Yup. Hottest there ever would be in his life.
In fact—he probably should've kept this to himself but—he was pretty sure he's never had to get himself off with his hands so much in years. When he woke up from a dream filled with her—hard. When he saw her strut across the golf course in the most tight-fitting outfit ever known to humankind—hard. When she kissed him with her hands on his neck and softly panted between his lips—hard.
River Hamilton tortured him but he never made the first move. It didn't make sense as to why because he needed her against the door of his office, in the backseat of this fucking Rolls Royce, sprawled out and begging on the mattress of his bed. Yet he kept his hands to himself—quite literally—and waited for her. Waited for something that told him he could pounce on her because he had to be real here... he knew there would be no way he could ever go easy on her.
No.
He needed her hands tied above her head, hot and needy for him. He needed her on all fours and soaking wet with his hand prints on her ass until sliding into her would feel like a dream. He needed her on top of him, filled to the hilt of him, breathless and glowing.
"Yes," she said. Harry blinked a few times to shake the thoughts from his head. Back to reality—yes meant... right. The lunches with Charlie. "Those are non-negotiable. At least until I talk to my family."
Did that mean she dated both Harry himself and Charlie? Did Harry have a right to feel threatened? Jealous? Because he felt those things. So many things. Negative things. Just when he assumed he had the woman he wanted, he realised that would never truly be the case.
"I can tell this is uncomfortable for you to hear," she added after a few seconds of silence from Harry. In all honesty, he didn't know what would've been an appropriate response. Nothing felt right. Everything was fuelled by his raging emotions. River squeezed his hand like she was afraid he'd pull back. "I am meeting with my father this evening. He invited me for dinner. I will speak to him then, alright?"
"I'm not sure what you'd like me to say," he told her. River nodded understandingly. "I have never been in a situation like this and I suddenly feel like I know nothing about where we are and where we are going."
"I understand," she recognised. "If you have any time tomorrow I am more than happy to have a discussion about... all of it," she suggested, hopeful and so goddamn beautiful. Harry didn't know how to think of anything but those brown eyes. "I would say we can leave the shopping until a later date but I have already called in my sales associates."
Sales associates. Jesus Christ. Harry didn't even know what those were. He laughed under his breath as he brought their intertwined hands to his lips and kissed the back of hers. "That's fine, baby. We can chat tomorrow."
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"What's the matter?" River sighed as she pushed herself from the velvet armchair and stepped across the soft carpet. Harry followed her every move through the reflection of the mirror. The fitting rooms were empty, save for the two of them, and the sales associate who supplied them with champagne.
To say that Harry was floored when they stepped inside the store would be an understatement. The walls were white, or perhaps beige. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling but also soft, warm lights ran along the wall and seemed to brighten the room from deep within it. White, black, and light brown were some of the main colours throughout—the curtains were brown, and the cushions on the sofa and armchairs were brown.
As they seemed to walk further in, the mood changed and black took over. The men's section, obviously. Darkened wood, almost black, with white lights, and umber—thanks River—floorboards.
Harry exhaled a frustrated sigh. "I'm not sure which one I prefer," he answered as he lifted one shirt before him, then switched it for another one. Harry tilted his head as he examined his reflection, stuck between the two but River didn't seem to understand his predicament.
"We've been at this shop for almost an hour because you can't decide between two shirts?"
An exhale later, Harry lifted his gaze from the shirts and looked directly at River through the mirror. "Four shirts. These two are just nicer than the other two."
"Harry, darling, please—just bring all four," she chuckled and walked away from him. The mirror in front of him showed as she poured more champagne for herself, then topped off Harry's flute, and passed it along to him. He didn't take it right away as he stared at her like she had two heads attached to her neck.
"One of them is four-hundred pounds!"
River hummed as she tilted her glass and took a sip of her crisp champagne. She didn't bother to look at the tag as she said, nonchalant, "So it is."
"Need I remind you," he looked around and stated very quietly, "my budget is not exactly built for such items?"
"Okay but do you like it?"
"That's besides the point," he argued.
"That's the entire point," she countered.
Defeated, Harry looked back towards his reflection and continued to switch between the two shirts. He behaved as though his life depended on one shirt only. The indecisiveness seemed to grant River power as she stepped forward and blocked his view.
Before she said anything, she made sure to catch his eyes and he swore he nearly threw the shirts to the floor, tugged the curtains shut, and had his way with her.
"Bring all four—bring it in every other colour if you like these shirts so much," she chuckled softly, head tilted. She reached up to his face and smoothened her hand down his cheek but pulled away before he could've leaned into her touch. It weakened him enough that she managed to pull away the hangers from his chest until he completely let go of them. "You go and drink some champagne. I'm going to get the lady from the front to help us out," she instructed and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him on the lips.
Stunned, Harry glanced at himself in the mirror. At some point, his cheeks turned pink and the sight of it made him even more embarrassed. He had to physically look away then move, and he threw himself in the brown leather armchair. The flute of champagne bubbled away beside him and he reached for it without much hesitation.
Damn, he thought. He'd never been to a store where they wined and dined him, treated him like a celebrity, and thanked him for his business. Although it technically wasn't his business because he didn't pay. He couldn't have paid. The price of those four shirts could've easily covered his electricity and water bills for the month. Even the thought of it made him feel sick so he pushed it to the back of his mind as he drank the alcohol in his glass.
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Harry didn't believe he was picky so he would've been satisfied with any of the thirty tuxes he tried on after they bought those shirts.
River, on the other hand, was the pickiest woman he had ever met. She claimed it didn't appeal to her, and as handsome as he looked in every single one, she didn't feel it suited him the best. Adamant, that there was one out there with his name on it.
In the end, he had to admit she was right. Even if it took them half the day to find the one, it was worth it because when he put it on and showed it to River, she had to sit back down and he physically needed to lift her chin to close her mouth.
"I take it you like it?" he teased her, his thumb ran along her bottom lip while he kept her chin up. Her eyes sparkled and they looked almost glossy as she stared at him with hunger in her eyes. The one giveaway that she felt any of the need that overpowered him whenever she was around.
"I desperately wish you and I were alone," she whispered with the same amazement in her eyes, completely fooled by him. It was enough to boost his ego to the moon and back. No one had ever made him feel the way River did before.
River reached for him and closed the gap between them, hands on his cheeks, as she kissed him. Without fail, his heart plummeted whenever she initiated anything and this time was no different. Harry leaned in for the kiss more as she perched on the edge of the sofa and placed his hand on her collarbones until it eventually travelled further up.
With both of their breathing accelerated and her lips now plump and glossy, he watched her with hooded eyes and his fingers tightened around her throat. "We don't necessarily need to be alone for me to make you feel good."
Blood rushed to her cheeks with every word he placed between her lips. The soft sound from the back of her throat made his boxers feel tighter than they ever have been before. When she kissed him again and twisted his hair between her fingers, he nearly lost his balance but he knew she would've loved to tug him down.
"I could very easily undo this belt..." he tugged on the leather around her waist gently. "These buttons... this zip..." each word was followed by the demonstration of his fingers, and he swore she trembled. "Run my fingers from here..." he started to drag his finger down from her hip to the outside of her thigh then made a circle motion around her knee as he said, "...all the way here..." as he pushed her squeezed legs apart and traced up her inner thigh.
The motion caused River to gasp between his lips, her fingers tightened around the nape of Harry's neck. He couldn't help it when he chuckled, breathless, and so very pleased to get this reaction from her. To have her pressed against him so much that her chest was flush against him.
"I could very, very easily take your breath away," he said, breathy, and teasing as his nose nudged the soft curve of her neck. "Question is, baby, could you keep quiet?"
Harry saw from the corner of his eye when someone made their way towards them, so he pulled away with one hand flicking River's hair behind her shoulder. It was mostly to make it seem like they weren't about to be caught in a heated moment but it didn't seem to register for the woman before him.
"Let's not get inappropriate ideas in public places," she pushed him backwards until he stood up on his feet again. A shit eating grin deepened into his cheeks as he watched her, satisfied with the fact that he made her look like a ripe cherry. He knew for a fact that she'd be thinking about the what if's for a while.
When the sales assistant reached them at last and River reverted her attention to her, Harry couldn't help the way his ego inflated more and more with every thought. The thought of River needing him as much as he needed her. It was absolutely intoxicating—so much so that he cared little for the pending doom of his newfound happiness.
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Happy Fridayyyy!
This almost got spicy in public. But then I realised this was already over 4K words, and when things get passionate and heated, I make it the entire chapter 😭 Not sure anyone would have the time to read that much on a Friday afternoon.
ANYWAY. I can promise you, it will happen. Eventually. I think there's only been one chapter so far, and that was River going solo so we definitely need to turn up the dial.
Taking a huge and abrupt turn in topic - Harry's daddy issues are making a more impactful appearance. Also gotta give it to Chris for blocking the number, I bet my man doesn't even know who it was LOL.
Also - sugar mummy River is finally here. I was SO excited to finally write something like this, it was the perfect opportunity, and one of the initial scenarios that pushed me to write this story. It is about time Harry became someone's sugar baby, and I couldn't be happier it's River.
OMG. The Charlie conversation, too! Both with him and River, and Harry wanting to know more about it. I admit, even I am confused on how Riverry is going to make it through this or find a way to manage it while they can, so imagine being in their position lol. More on that soon!
For the time being, let's enjoy what this weekend gave us, and then we'll worry about the rest next weekend hehe.
Love, B xx