(Hydra, Y/n's POV)
This is how I remember it.
This is how it used to be.
I'm strapped down to a chair as they try to force me to use my powers for their stupid little projects, and I'm getting beaten up over and over again as I refuse to help.
They gave up on the cattle prod. Guess it wasn't having as much of an affect as they wanted it to.
Unfortunately for me, List found out about the regenerative, repairing abilities my power gave me, so he simply breaks a bone if I don't do as I'm told. That way, I'm not too damaged that I can't perform to his standards, but I'm in enough pain that it tells me I've done wrong.
All I feel these days is pain.
So much pain.
It's becoming the new normal.
Maybe one day I won't even feel pain any more. He'll break my leg and I'll just accept the fact that it's broken. Won't even bother to fix it because what's the point if it's not hurting?
I'm sure that day will come.
There's plenty of time for it to happen.
I've lost track of time.
No clocks. No windows. Just torture. A few hours to recuperate then back at it again.
I can't tell if I'm brave or stupid for carrying on like this.
"You having fun yet?" I breathe heavily as I address Doctor List, blood pouring from my mouth as I've just been yet again punched in the jaw. "Because I'm just warming up."
He crouches down in front of me, head tilted slightly as he tuts in a condescending manner, "It's a shame that you have to resist so much. You could be great, you know. I can help you be great. All I'm asking is for a little help in return."
"No. You want an army that'll destroy millions of civilisations. I'd rather not be a part of that thanks."
"Tell me, what is your goal here? You know you cannot escape. You know there is no-one coming for you. So what do you have left to lose?"
"Honestly? I don't know. I thought I had a little dignity left, but then you didn't give me a room with a bathroom so I had to pee in a bucket. That little dignity is gone now. I guess now I'm doing it for the sake of doing it?"
"You're doing this to save people, but what have they ever done for you?"
"Well we've had quite a few decent inventions over the years. Does that count?"
He shakes his head sadly as he stands up, then says again, "Such a shame."
List nods to the soldier stood in the corner, a signal that it's time to break more shit. He slowly walks over to me, face neutral as always, and brings the butt end of his gun sharply down on my left shin.
I scream as the bone snaps, the sound it makes making me feel queasy, and I almost pass out from the pain.
"I just don't get it, I really don't," he folds his arms over his white lab coat. "The longer you deny us, the worse off you are. I just don't understand why."
"I'm doing it," I snarl between gritted teeth as sweat drips from my forehead from straining, "because you have killed everyone I've ever loved. You. Killed them all. So I'm giving you nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing."
"I think you're forgetting who killed your parents, y/n."
"You have no business speaking about them. They loved me and tried to protect me. Your other little soldier boy, or whatever the fuck he was, killed my mother. He slit her throat, and I held her as she breathed her last breath and her eyes closed for the last time."
"And what about your father? Hmm?"
I blink a few times, in pain from both my broken leg and the harsh memory.
"That was a mistake. I didn't mean to kill him. I didn't know how to control my powers."
"That may be, but it was still your power that killed him. And sure, that little family died at the hands of Mr Barnes here, but why did they die? Because of you. It was your fault. They should still be alive now, a father playing happily with his two children, but no. You had the chance to save them, and you didn't. That's quite selfish if you ask me."
The whole time he's speaking, I can feel my anger building up and burning inside me, my power circulating my body round and round, begging to be released.
The worst part is, he's right.
It's true.
It was my fault they died.
I release another scream, an anguished and fury-filled scream, as tears fall from my eyes and electricity pours from my fingertips.
I feel the chair adjusting as I am aimed towards the large machine I know to be a Leviathan. I know right now I'm helping him, but I don't think I could stop if I tried.
I've been filling up with emotion, and it's like someone has stabbed a balloon with a pin.
Everything is just coming out.