*I broke it off
thinking you'd be cryin'
Now i feel like sh*t
Looking at you flyin' *
-Cher Lloyd *Want U Back*
Chapter 5
Music blasts loudly from a set of speakers, making my head pound. I really would rather be anywhere than at this party that Wesley convinced me to go to, but I’m stuck here now and might as well make the most of it.
“Ivy!” a voice shouts and I turn to see Maya pushing her way through a throng of people to get to where I am.
“Hey, Maya,” I say when she reaches me.
“Don’t tell me you came here alone. Where is that gorgeous boyfriend of yours?” she asks, tilting her head to the side curiously.
“Oh, he is here somewhere,” I reply with a shrug. “He ran into some guys he met on the beach the other day.”
“And he left you here by yourself?” she asks, arching an eyebrow.
“Yeah, but I’m sure he will be back soon,” I say, a little defensively. It seemed kind of like she was judging Wes for leaving me alone. I mean, it’s not like he has to be with me at all times. Maybe I was feeling kind of lonely since I don’t really know anyone here, but that’s not his fault.
“Oh my gosh!” Maya shrieks, distracted by something she sees behind me. I turn around expected someone to be fighting or something really serious going on because of the look on her face, but instead I don’t see anything other than a bunch of people.
“What?” I question when she continues to stare, wide-eyed, at something behind me.
“Do you see that boy?” she says and points to a tall blonde that has his arm slung around some girl’s shoulder.
“Mhm,” I reply, not sure why this is a reason to be freaked out the way she is.
“That’s my ex,” she whispers to me, leaning in like she doesn’t want anyone else to hear.
“Ooh, how long ago did he break up with you?” I ask as she continues sending glares at the girl next to her ex-boyfriend.
“Excuse me? I broke up with him!” she tells me indignantly and I give her a weird look.
“Then why do you care that he is here with someone else?” I ask, completely confused.
“Because! He is supposed to be upset about losing me and trying to get me back! He is most certainly not supposed to move onto some other girl, who is not even half as pretty as me,” she sniffs and I try not to laugh. She is kind of crazy, but somehow that just makes it even easier to like her.
“Well, maybe he is only here with her because he wanted to make you jealous,” I tell her and she tears her gaze from the girl to give me a surprised look.
“Why would you think that?” she demands, looking hopeful.
“Well, he keeps looking over here at you. I’m pretty sure he is trying to see if you are paying attention to him or not,” I explain.
“He is looking at me?” she wonders, not looking convinced.
“Very obviously. Look, he is doing it right now!”
“Nuh-uh!” she exclaims and turns to see him watching her. When he realizes she caught him he goes to look away, but not before she gives him a flirty wave.
“Told ya so,” I say and she claps her hands together in excitement.
“You’re right! He is so totally in love with me still,” she chirps happily and I can’t help but to laugh.
“My prediction is that you will be back together by the end of the night. Although, if you don’t mind my asking, why did you break up with him in the first place if you still have feelings for him?”
“I just wanted to see how much he cared, ya know? Like how hard he would fight to get me back,” she replies and I stare at her in amazement. I could never imagine breaking up with Wesley for something stupid like that.
“Has he done anything? To get you back, I mean.”
“Well, The first day he called me about a hundred times, begging me to take him back. The second day he stopped by my house to talk to me. And the third day after we broke up he sent me a bunch of roses. I think that is everything so far,” she says, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully.
“And none of that was enough?” I ask, wondering just what it would take for the poor kid to prove he cared about her.
“Well, the roses were a good call, but I honestly wanted to see if he could do any better. I’m thinking about taking him back now, though. I’m getting bored with the whole thing,” she says and I shake my head in astonishment. The whole thing is just a game to her. She doesn’t care if she hurts his feelings or the other poor girl’s that he is using to make her jealous. It’s kind of surprising to me that someone would do that.
“Don’t you think it’s kind of mean to play around with someone’s feelings like that?” I ask hesitantly.
“Oh, come on, it’s not a big deal. I just wanted to be sure that he cared about me before wasting a bunch of time on him. We can’t all be like you and have a boyfriend that lasts forever. Things just don’t work like that and besides what fun is that anyway?” she says, seeming offended by my question. I feel my cheeks turning red and I lower my eyes.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you upset,” I mumble, hoping to avoid any conflict. It kind of makes me mad the way she kind of trashed the fact that I’ve been dating Wesley for so long, but I don’t want to cause problems so I just go along with what she is saying even if I don’t entirely agree.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that,” she tells me, immediately looking contrite. I smile to show her that I don’t mind and she offers a smile in return. “Well, I think I’m going to go get my boyfriend back. Wish me luck!”
Maya takes off into the crowd and is out of sight within seconds. I’m back to being alone and I sigh sullenly. If I knew anyone else here it wouldn’t be so bad, but I don’t and I still have no idea where Wes went or if he is ever even planning on coming back. It is kind of annoying that he dragged me to this party and then completely ditched me. I mean, why did he even want me to come?
A familiar face flashes through the crowd and I jump forward to grab his sleeve, thankful to see someone I know.
“Dace!” I exclaim, a little too enthusiastically.
“Hey, Ivy. Where’s Wes?” he asks and I frown at him.
“Don’t know,” I say and then add because I’m afraid he will leave me alone again unless I do something, “Dance with me!”
“Umm, Ivy, I…,” he trails off, looking like he is trying to find a nice way of saying no.
“Please,” I beg, puffing out my bottom lip and widening my eyes. He rolls his eyes, but agrees anyway.
Dace happens to be a much better dancer than me and ends up trying to teach me how to do right after I repeatedly step on his feet. After a little while I think I get the hang of it, at least as much as I ever will. Rhythm doesn’t really come all that easy to me, but it doesn’t bother me like it would other people. I have accepted all of the things I will never be good at years ago and vowed to just have fun.
So, when dancing seriously doesn’t really work out for me I just go crazy and pull Dace along with me. He looks concerned at first, but eventually he is laughing so hard that he has no choice but to go along with my erratic movements.
“You’re insane,” he tells me a little while later when we decide to take a brake.
“Why thank you,” I reply with an easy grin.
“I honestly don’t know how Wesley was able to keep up with you all these years,” he mutters, shaking his head.
“Easy, he never dances with me,” I tell him and he tilts his head questioningly at me.
“Why not?”
“You might be surprised, but he says I’m a bad dancer,” I say with a little shrug.
“He said that?” Dace demands, seeming kind of angry about it. “Well, he’s wrong. You’re the best dancer I have ever seen.”
“Ha! Yeah, right,” I snort.
“I’m serious. You know how to have fun with it, which is way better than dancing with someone who knows what they are doing because it is way more entertaining,” he insists and I roll my eyes.
“Just because I’m more fun to dance with, according to you and only you, doesn’t make me a good dancer,” I reply.
“Whatever. I would rather dance with you over any other girl here, that’s for sure,” he shrugs. It’s actually a really nice thing of him to say. Wes always complains how I’m a bad dancer, but Dace just accepts it.
“And I would rather dance with you than any other guy here,” I reply jokingly and his smile falters.
“Yeah, so, uh. How has your dad been?” he asks and I squint at him in confusion over the random topic change. He is being so weird lately.
“He’s fine, I guess. You know how it is,” I shrug, not wanting to get into the details of it. My father has been anything, but fine and we both know it.
After my mother died, my dad took it harder than anybody. She had been the girl of his dreams, or so he had told me a million times before when I was a little kid, and to lose her was like losing a piece of himself. He withdrew from me and Keaton and everyone else, which I understood but still felt hurt by. I mean, it was bad enough I lost my mom, but suddenly it was like I was losing my dad, too.
My dad has gotten better since then, but I know he still isn’t coping very well. I think his only way of dealing with it is by staying away from all things that remind him of her as much as possible, including me and Keaton sometimes. I know he would never admit he is intentionally avoiding us, but I can see it in his eyes how painful it is to be reminded of her and I could practically be my mother’s twin. I think this is why he works such long hours and hardly ever comes home until late at night. It is still too painful for him. I just wish he knew we felt the same way.
“And how are you?” Dace questions and I squirm uncomfortably under his gaze.
“Dace, you see me everyday I think you know how I am,” I reply.
“Maybe, but I think you are good at hiding what you’re feeling. You never let on when you’re upset unless you want people to know,” he says.
“I think you’re getting confused. You are the one good at hiding your feelings, not me,” I argue and he shrugs.
“That’s what everyone says,” is his only reply.
“What about you then?” I demand and his eyes meet mine, confusion lurking in their depths.
“What about me?”
“How are you? Wes says that you have been acting strange lately. Did something happen or what?” I ask and I can practically sees his walls go up. Whatever it is he isn’t going to tell me, at least not right now.
“Nothing happened,” he replies, deadpan.
“Stop being difficult, Dace. Something obviously happened. You’ve been moody and distant, which I normally wouldn’t be so surprised about, but there is something different about it. I don’t know what, but there is definitely something going on,” I say and his guard drops just long enough for me to see the pain hidden behind his eyes. It makes my heart break for him. I haven no idea what he is dealing with, but it is more serious than I thought.
“You don’t understand,” he says, obviously frustrated. His eyes darken and he takes a step away from me as if putting distance between us will make me stop asking questions. It won’t.
“Then explain it to me,” I reply and he looks down, refusing to meet my eyes.
“I can’t,” he says and there is such pain in his voice that I just want to hug him. I stop myself from doing this, though, because I’m not really sure how he would react to that.
“Why not?”
“I promised I wouldn’t,” he replies softly.
“That’s stupid! Whoever made you promise to keep a secret that is obviously tearing you apart is a jerk and you shouldn’t listen to them anyway,” I tell him and the look of pain on his face is replaced with a wry smile.
“Yeah, they are a lot worse than a jerk, but I’m not going to say anything anyway.”
“But..,” I begin to protest, but Dace cuts me off.
“Shouldn’t you be looking for Wes or something? I mean, he is probably wondering where you are,” Dace says, changing the subject. I sigh deeply and decide to go along with it. There is no sense in pushing him to tell me something he doesn’t want to.
“Well, if he was really concerned about where I was then he would find me himself,” I shrug. “But I suppose I could go look for him. Although, if you wanted to get rid of me all you had to do was say so.”
“I didn’t..,” he protests and I wave him off.
“Don’t worry about it,” I tell him. “See you later, Dace.”
Then I turn and make my way through the crowd of people in search of my boyfriend. I don’t see him in the living room and so I check the kitchen and everywhere else there are people hanging out at. Wesley doesn’t seem to be anywhere and I’m kind of starting to think that he left without me. Not that he ever did anything like that to me before, but he so obviously isn’t here.
I see one of the boys that Wesley was with earlier and I run up to him, hoping he might know where he went.
“Hey,” he grins, eyes trailing down my body in a way that makes me uncomfortable. I try to ignore this and focus on finding my boyfriend instead.
“Hi. Do you, by any chance, know where Wesley is?” I ask.
“I saw him go in there awhile ago,” the boy says and points to a closed door across the hallway. “He’s probably…busy. You could hang out with me, though. I wouldn’t mind.”
He grins at me suggestively and I try my best to keep the look of disgust off of my face.
“Thanks, but no,” I mumble softly and back away. He shrugs and goes to talk to some other girl standing nearby.
Once he is gone I walk over to the door he had pointed at before and push it open. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dark room and when they do I am startled to see a couple making out on the bed. I jump back, ready to shut the door, but then I notice something that seems out of place.
It’s too dark for me to see their faces, but I can see the light reflecting off of a chain necklace on the boy’s neck that is all too familiar to me. I would know that necklace anywhere because I was the one that bought it from a vending machine in the fifth grade. I was going for a necklace that said princess, but instead I got one with some stupid plastic piece with a picture of a dinosaur on it. I gave it to Wesley because I didn’t know what else to do with the thing and ever since then he refused to take it off. It kind of became a joke between us and he always swears to me that it is how he knew I loved him. He even ended up replacing the chain after the cheap one it came with broke because it really meant that much to him. I thought it was adorable and sweet that he cared about me so much that he would wear the stupid thing for so long just because I gave it to him, but as I’m standing in this room staring at the same dinosaur pendant necklace it makes me want to be sick.
“Oh my God!” I gasp out, not completely comprehending what I am seeing. When I say it, though, the boy pulls his mouth off of the girls long enough to look up and see me standing there. My heart breaks as I look into Wesley’s eyes.
His mouth drops open in surprise when he realizes it is me and I hear a choked sob leave my own mouth. I do the only thing I can think of at this point and turn and run. I push my way through all the people and out of the front door as quickly as I can. I’m afraid that he will chase after me and I’m terrified that he won’t.
I race down the beach, continuing to run because it makes it harder to think about what I just saw. I’m taking running from my problems to literal extremes. I hear a set of pounding footsteps behind me and I quickly turn to hide in between two of the beach houses.
“Ivy!” Wes calls out and I slip further into the shadows, not wanting to be seen. I can’t talk to him right now. I don’t want it to be real and if I have to look him in the face then it will be. I would like to live in denial for as long as possible, so I stay crouched in the shadows until I hear him walking away never realizing I was right there all along. Then I sink down onto the ground and cry.
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:( I hate this chapter. For anyone that likes Wesley, you should know that this isn't the end of him and Ivy or anything like that. You'll just have to see where it goes, but i promise there will still be cute Wes moments even with drama going on. And for fans of Dace he should start to be in it a little more :)