TW: Self harm, drugs, overall dark themes, addiction, death, self mutilation, Vomiting.
I think I need to bleed to heal it
Wanda stared at her hands in disbelief.
She could'nt fathom all the damage she'd caused.
She thought about all the people who had been caught in her blast, all the children that never woke up, all the infants screaming for their mothers, unaware that their bodies lay lifeless beside the crib.
All the people who grew up, spoke their first words, who learned to ride a bike, who held their mothers hand on the first day of school, who decided to give smoking a try, who cried on their wedding day.
She didnt know wether to scream or cry.
I think I want to start by feeling human
Wanda sat in the coner of her room, staring into the mirror perched on the wall.
She didn't recognize herself anymore.
She didn't feel like anyone anymore.
The world started to gray out.
She wanted to cry, but she couldn't.
She wanted to scream, but she couldn't.
She wanted to feel something.
But she couldn't.
To keep on moving in it for the absolousion
She had watched her brother die.
Her twin.
The only thing she had left.
She had made promises to him.
But they were getting harder to keep everyday.
There was too much pain.
It needed to be manifested.
Safty from the persicution out there
She had heard the news, read the headlines.
Heard the rumours of the woman who caused the blast.
The demon who killed a city.
She didn't care anymore how much they puffed it up with lies and exateration.
It all felt real to her.
She couldn't face it.
Couldn't face what she'd done.
Beneath the nightmare
So she hid.
In her room.
Too lost to feel.
Too tired to sleep.
Too sad to cry.
Too angry to scream.
And the need grew stronger.
Too strong to ignore.
She rifled through her backpack, the only remaining thing from her old life.
She pulled out an old leather satchel.
And from the leather satchel she pulled a razor blade.
And as she pressed the blade against her she remembered a song.
A song she had heard so long ago.
Maybe somewhere in a dream.
So wake me when it's over
When high above the morning sun arrives unbroken
No more violent words are spoken anymore
She mumbles the words in a dreamy tune as blood runs down her forearms.
Don't litsen to the screaming
The night is young and fire won't scare the monsters sober
Promise me you will wake me when it's over
Tempt me with the purest fire
Natasha couldn't remember when she stopped feeling.
When she stopped caring.
She remembered the beginning.
She held back tears as she watched the life drain from their eyes.
But now the blood is the same as water to her.
It means nothing anymore.
She hates it.
She'd do anything to get the pain back.
She had tried medicine, meditaion, even therapy.
But it only made her feel more empty.
Kill me with the blood's disire
She had a family now.
But it didnt stop the memories.
The voices screaming at her.
Screaming names she never looked twice at.
Screaming the words she'd heard too many times.
' MERCY '
' PLEASE'
'I'M SORRY '
And even the occasional;
' I HAVE A FAMILY'
The voice told her she didn't deserve this.
She didn't deserve this life.
And she believed it.
To break the seal
Sometimes she'd look around and wonder when everything started to fade.
She'd wonder when the world turned so grey.
She'd wonder when the tears came with no sadness.
She'd wonder when she stopped wanting to wake up.
So nothing's real
Days blurred together, she started avoiding the others.
Reality turned to a dream.
People were becoming concerned, but she didn't care.
She needed to feel something.
Pain.
Hunger.
Fear.
They gave her comfort.
They made her feel alive.
Take me where the blood runs colder
One day she found herself at a party.
They were handing out pills.
She took one.
And reality left her.
The voices dissapeared.
The memories that haunted her became foggy.
She found herself in a feild of blue grass and indigo skies.
And For the first time since she could remember, she felt happy.
She didn't care that she woke up naked in an allyway.
She didn't care that she started waking up in the infirmery.
She didn't care about her friends, her family, telling her she had to stop.
It didn't matter anymore.
She found a new home.
Wake me when the dream is over
But as time went on it became weaker.
Her elisiyum was dimming.
Dence forests started appearing in the feilds.
She started hearing footsteps.
Started seeing figures.
It stopped feeling safe.
So she started taking more pills.
She stopped counting.
All she knew was that the only place left, the only safe haven that remained, was growing hollow.
She wouldn't lose another home.
Or let me go
She closed and locked her bathroom door.
She leaned against the wall and let herself slide down the smooth tile.
She shrugged off her backpack.
She reached in and grapped a ziplock bag.
She smiled as she opened it.
The tiny delights that filled the bag shifted as she reached her hand in.
She didn't bother counting the pills that entered her system.
She needed her escape.
Into the depths below
She could feel them starting to take hold.
The world faded.
But one thing remained.
A voice.
It was singing.
Singing a song.
A tune so familier.
The tile was disapearing beneath her.
She started humming as she faded out.
So wake me when it's over
When high above the moring sun arises unbroken
No more final words are spoken anymore
Don't listen to the screaming
The night is long
And fire won't scare the monsters sober
Promise me
You will wake me when it's over
Fear the blood
" You promised".
Her brother's voice rang out.
Wanda opened her eyes to blackness.
A void.
Her brother stood in front of her.
His body peppered with bullet holes.
He shifted, glitching, turning breifly into his younger state, his voice a disturbing harmony of a young boy and a dying man.
" You promised you would stop!" .
His voice made her head throb.
She tried to say something.
But she couldn't.
His eyes were full of anger and sadness.
Wanda tried to reach out, to touch him, to feel her brother one more time.
But he pulled away.
" I asked you to do one thing, and you couldn't even do that." He scoffed, walking away into the darkness.
Fear the beast
Natasha woke in a feild of dying grass.
The sky was pitch black.
Dripping like ink.
Her head was throbbing.
She could feel it.
There was something else here.
There was nowhere to run.
Nowhere to hide.
Just dying grass.
Her safe haven was gone.
She got up from the ground, her head spinning, and started to run.
For the hunt
Wanda started screaming.
Screaming for her brother to come back.
Screaming for something, anything, other than this dark, empty void.
And then her surroundings shifted.
She was back in the blast.
She saw herself.
Eyes glowing as magic crackled from her fingertips.
She heard the screaming.
Saw the fear.
Everyone staring at her like she was a god.
Maybe she was.
And maybe she wasn't.
But it didn't matter at this point.
Red mist filled her vision.
And the city disapeared.
They will feast
Natasha ran faster than she ever had before, bolting, running from the invisible but undinable thing that was chasing her.
Suddenly she fell.
The grass turned to concrete and the silence to running footsteps.
She didn't have time to realize they were her own.
She got back up and kept running.
The concrete turned to an allyway.
She weaved through the streets of the seemingly empty city.
But she knew it was far from empty.
Suddenly she ran into something and fell to the ground.
And they're feasting on whatever's left
Wanda was sitting on the hard concrete floor of the empty building.
She had found a razor blade and was inspecting it.
She ran her finger lightly over the blade.
A stinging pain made her flinch.
She watched as a drop of blood made its day down her finger.
She found herself bringing the razer to the tip of her thumb.
She pressed it against her skin, letting it dig into her flesh.
She pulled it out and watched blood start to flow.
She smiled.
After sinners confess
Natasha looked up to see a figure staring down at her, it took her a few seconds to see the gaping hole in its chest.
She rembered the gunshots, his body jerking with the impact.
The footsteps were getting louder and her head started to buzz.
She stumbled to her feet and kept running.
Running from the one thing she never could escape from.
The one thing she tried so hard to keep at bay.
But if found her.
It finally found her.
And the kindling ignites
The scene fades away, shifting, shes in the same place, but shes no longer alone.
Her brother had gotten home earliy, she hadn't heard him enter.
She was transfixed by the shining crimson.
They always said 'honey, im home!' When they entered, as a message that everything was ok, if it wasn't said, there were procedures to follow.
It was also just a reference to the sitcoms Wanda loved so much.
She heard his voice and froze, the razor blade still seperating flesh.
" HONEY, IM HO- WANDA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
She remained frozen as he raced over to her, kneeling and gently pulling her hand away, snatching the blade.
" WANDA!" He started to shout at her, but stopped himself, letting his voice soften.
" Wanda..."
Tears blurred her vision.
The last thing she wanted was to worry her brother.
She broke into sobbs, as he wrapped his arms around her.
Both their hearts breaking.
They both held eatchother untill Wanda stopped cring.
" Sis, please, don't do this to yourself!" It was his turn to start crying.
" Please! I love you! I can't lose you to something like this!"
" Please..."
His voice was so heartwrenchingly caring.
" Okay."
" Promise me!"
" I promise."
The words reverberated around Wanda's head, turning into a buzzing sound that quickly raised in volume and pitch, untill it was screaming.
On the darkest of nights
Natasha sumbled, falling to her knees, retching.
Coughing up something that shimered and faded into the dark concrete.
Her eyes watered as she shakily got to her feet, the footsteps never ceasing.
Her head throbbed and her ears rang.
There was a sickly sweet taste in her mouth.
She made a turn into an allyway, something crunching under her feet.
Syringes.
Littering the ground.
The taste grew in intensity, she stopped to throw up again, this time a thick, pitch like fluid pooled on the concrete, dripping from her mouth.
She started to feel dizzy.
It took all her strenth not to pass out, she knew that passing out in this state could be calamic, especcially with the footsteps getting louder.
So she stumbled onwards.
Ever and ever onwards.
To the moon
Wanda squeezed her eyes shut, clasping her hands over her hears.
Tears welling in her eyes.
Suddenly everything stopped.
Silence consumed her.
An all encompasing silence that made her want to tear her skin off.
She slowly brought her hands away from her ears, staring at the same inky void as before.
But now there was something else.
Something warm tickling Wanda's forearm.
She looked down.
A drop of blood made its way down her arm.
She blinked.
And then her hand was covered in them.
Gaping cuts.
Gushing warm scarlet that dripped onto the almost, but not quite, non existant floor.
To redeem
Natasha was thankful for the dream- numbness of this dissorrienting reality.
Unable to feel the burning in her legs that must be joining the dull aching.
She turned into another allyway.
The building on the left had broken and boarded up windows.
More syringes and pill bottles littered the ground.
She tried to focus on the fence ahead.
A three meter high chainlink barrier.
The footsteps couldn't be more than a few meters behind her by now.
No matter how fast she went, it was always right there.
She started on the fence, slipping her feet and hands into the holes, before slowly climbing.
She heard creaking as whatever was chasing her followed suit.
She picked up her pace, hoping to reach the top before it did.
But she soon realized she was more than a few meters off the ground by now.
And The fence just kept going.
Always one meter taller.
She was probrably about 9 meters up when the visions started.
A flashing image replacing the fence.
Too fleeting for her to make out.
But she kept climing.
Again, her vision flickered
This time she could make out a figure.
A body.
Laying limp.
Her head buzzed.
She kept climbing
It's the stench
Wanda panicked.
Her vision bluring.
And then an image appeared.
Fleeting.
Black borders started to appear around her vision.
She tried using her magic.
But it only made her whole body scream.
She tried covering the cuts with her hands, but the blood gushed through.
His voice rang through her head again.
" You promised"
It repeated over and over.
Her head fuzzed and she started to feel dizzy.
And again her vision flashed.
She could make out a scene.
A limp body, layed on the floor, surrounded by a pool of crimson.
Covered in gashes and wounds.
A razor blade resting softly in their hand.
It's the screams
Maybe hours had passed
Natasha couldn't tell.
But each handhold was getting harder to reach.
She was fading in and out.
She paused to throw up more sickly sweet liquid.
Dark as night.
Black as ink.
Shimmering like the stars.
It dripped down and more seemed to start pooling in her throat almost immedietly.
And then she started coughing.
Something was filling her lungs.
More black liquid expelled itself from her interior.
Tears ran down her face.
Her elysium.
Her last hope.
Her freedom.
It was truly finally gone.
She wanted to laugh.
She wanyed to cry.
She wanted to scream.
But the moment she opened her mouth more of the viscious midnight purged itself from her depths.
And the clanging of boots against the same metal, echoed softly behind her.
Her vision flickered again and she could made out a picture.
A figure.
Passed out on cold tile.
Throw up running down its chin.
The angle allowing some of it to pool in its mouth.
She watched as its body heaved and spewes more of its contents.
And then it choked.
Coughing.
Before she could analyze anything she imediatly started retching, trying to purge a viscouis fluid from her lungs.
And she kept climbing.
And I'm fighting
Wanda fell to her knees.
Her mind was screaming, her heart feft like it was trying to kill itself.
She gasped for air as violent sobbs wracked through her.
This couldn't be happening.
No.
No no no no no.
NO!
She squeezed her eyes shut.
And she saw tears.
Her tears.
Running down her face.
Through closed eyes.
Her closed eyes..
And suddenly everything felt so real.
Her brother's face.
Memories of them together.
Watching cartoons and old sitcoms.
In their world of concrete and ashfault
She was drowning and burning.
Exphixiaring in her own mind.
Her vision started pinpointing, like the closing shot of an old cartoon.
Black borders closing in.
And she had the strange feeling that this really was all folks.
A rush and a torrent
Natasha kept climbing.
Everything was getting fuzzy.
The numbness would leave every once in awhile, replaced by screaming pain.
Before being replaced again.
The vision returned.
And she realized this time.
A cold heavy stone dropped, and rested in the pit of her stomach.
Those were her eyes.
Her throw up.
The same tile.
And at that moment the fence stopped.
She stumpled over the top and fell onto a pile of pills.
Her ears rang.
And her vision blurred.
She barley registered the sound of boots softly hitting the ground.
And she looked up.
She looked up into her eyes.
Devoid of humanity.
A painted shell.
Clad in her leather suit.
Suddenly her vision flashed red and she doubled over coughing and retching.
Gallons of shimmering, burning pitch expelled itsself from her interior.
Eveything screamed with pain.
Her soul felt like it was burning.
Her lungs were filling up.
Tears fell.
Finally, tears fell.
Of blood and abhorence
Wanda's fleeting reality was one of agony and dispair.
But a realization slowly emerged.
She smiled.
In a creul roundabout way, this was exactly what she wanted.
The agony was temporary, but the freedom eternal.
Tears of joy and fear fell.
And then, everything stopped.
When I cant wake from this dream
At 2:08 AM Natalia Alinova Romanova and Wanda Maximoff died.
Wanda from extensive blood loss due to a number of cuts to her arms and legs.
And Natasha from choking on her own vomit after a drug overdose.
However some of the Tower's residents still claim hearing strange noises.
Well one strange noise in particular.
A song.
A faint faraway tune.
Almost like a distant dream.
So wake me when it's over
When high above the morning sun arises unbroken
No more final words are spoken
Anymore
Don't listen to the screaming
The night is long
And fire wont scare the monsters sober
Promise me
You will wake me when it's over
Song: wake me when it's over - Aviators
This took me WAY too long to write.
Kinda proud of it tho.
:)