✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
"blergh"
the bathroom resounded taehyung's groans as the male threw up for the nth time.
it's been a week since jungkook left without any explanation. it's possible that jeongguk was disgusted with him and didn't want to see his face anymore. that hurt taehyung a lot, but what hurt him more was how his health deteriorated ever since then.
he was unable to sleep at night, which made it strenuous to work during the day, but he pushed himself through— all for money.
nevertheless, even the people there were able to ascertain how feeble and sick taehyung looked the entire time. it seemed as though the lad would kick the bucket at any moment because how unwell he looked.
though when asked, taehyung would always smile and say he is completely fine when he was definitely not.
they didn't have to know that when he was home he would puke until he can't anymore and rot on his bed, without anyone to look after him.
this time, it took a toll on him when he saw the blood drops mixed with whatever he had eaten (which he forced himself to have since he had no appetite) just a while ago.
he has been puking for a few days now and having episodes in which he passes out without warning. also, his body temperature would abruptly rise very high.
just what was happening to his body?
"mom. . . it hurts. . ." taehyung's inaudible sobs again resounded throughout the small bathroom. there wasn't his dear mother to stroke his back so it would be a bit easier to throw up.
"ahh it really hurts, it hurts it hurts it hurts!" taehyung cried out in pain as he felt his eyesight start to blur again. he knew that complaining wouldn't make the pain any less, it only made it worse as he felt himself start to lose consciousness.
before he fainted on the bathroom floor, all alone.
-----
taehyung couldn't take it anymore. after a tiring day at work where he restrained himself from fainting and puking (by not eating or drinking anything). he decided to see a doctor. the cost of the visit would be high, as there was very little medical care available back then. however, he didn't want to simply sit and watch his health decline gradually.
when his name was called, he entered the doctor's chamber. staggering taehyung took a seat in front of the doctor on the wooden floor, breathing densely because his body hurt very bad. more since he forced himself to work the whole day.
"good afternoon, young man. may i know what's the matter?"
"doctor. . . please check me. . . i can't do this anymore" taehyung blabbered. it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to communicate or sit still.
"oh my lord. young man you're burning up!" the doctor voiced after placing his hand on taehyung's fervent forehead.
"please lay down" the doctor instructed and the brunette followed, too weak to even speak anymore.
"okay, now close your eyes and take deep breathes" he followed through but it didn't make him feel any better.
"i have been feeling really sick lately. i keep throwing up and also fainting. i can't sleep and i can't eat either. . . please help me" the doctor tensed as he checked up on taehyung, who was about to break down.
at that age, the medical field wasn't that advanced, so the doctor couldn't run tests on him. however, seeing the symptoms, he prescribed taehyung a few medicines.
"take these pills in the morning and drink this syrup after dinner. after a week, see me to check on your progress"
"okay. thank you doctor"
taehyung hoped this would work, as the lad was really in pain and could no longer bear it. with heavy steps, taehyung reached his home and made something bland for himself to eat - he would have skipped the meal if it weren't for the medicines.
however, the moment he ate something, his nausea got worse and he ended up vomiting all over the floor before he could make it to the bathroom.
clenching his fists taehyung looked down at whatever he tried to consume being a mess of vomit. drops of tears were next mixed into it as taehyung tried to stop himself from crying anymore. lately the lad has only cried, threw up, and fainted occasionally.
it was pathetic to see himself suffer like this, unable to do anything to make things better.
taehyung could feel his body burning up again but he couldn't just let this mess be on the floor. it just would make him look even more pitiful to himself. so after cleaning up the mess, taehyung tried to stand up, but he lost his balance and fell over again.
taehyung was never one to give up but right now, everything seemed so meaningless of him trying. because even if he did recover, where would he go from here? was there really any future for him? the lad didn't have any parents, siblings, or friends except jimin whom he didn't want to bother since his friend finally seem to be living a happy life. and being a homosexual he couldn't even have a good significant other so who could he lean onto? no one.
so why was taehyung trying so hard to survive?
"maybe i should just kill myself" taehyung mumbled to himself while he stared up at the moth-eaten ceiling. his eyes stoic and lifeless. whatever positivity he was left with had been snatched by a raven head who left him completely destroyed.
he recalled jeongguk's words, smiles, gentle touches and lovable gaze. he should have known, it was too good to be happening to him. why would a man like jeongguk be interested in him if not one fuck? taehyung couldn't believe he was so gullible to believe all the lies he was told.
however, it still hurt. it still hurt taehyung like a bitch because he had hopes that he'll finally have someone who will love him for who he was. you know, unconditional love.
but no let it be, it was funny of him to even imagine a future where he can possibly even smile.
"a misfortune like me shouldn't be living to begin with. maybe this illness is a sign i should die"
taehyung chuckled, a tear rolling down the corner of his eye, wetting his earlobe felt cold against the chilly air. still he laid on the cold floor, with thin clothes on just to worsen his situation. waiting for death to come however he knows it'll not be that easy.
he might be dying a painful death.
the brunette closed his eyes, resulting the rest of tears to flow down. he was too fatigued to even move his body to the bed, but was that even necessary? what would he do with the slight comfort of having a soft mattress underneath him when soon he'll be in a grave, his body rotting away without anyone even there to shed tears? the thoughts only made sleep coming difficult and excruciating.
taehyung cried quietly, keeping his eyes closed, the broken boy cried and cried.
until he felt himself falling into a deep slumber.
"i have waited so long my mate. why did you take so long?"
taehyung heard a voice whispering to his ear. the voice felt deep yet light as a feather against his ear. like an echo that resonated through his body, seeking his attention.
taehyung turned around, finding nobody. he didn't know where he was standing as the darkness blinded his sight. he couldn't see a thing.
"devote yourself to me"
taehyung felt a hand reach around his neck and tighten its grip. he wrenched his head to the side, feeling the sharp nails digging into his skin before blood began to pour out.
but he couldn't speak or resist. his body felt so hot and vulnerable against the hand. it only got intense when a pair of lips licked the blood, slurping on it right after.
taehyung tried to look through his peripheral vision, who this person was but it seemed as though even his gaze had turned frozen under the power of this dangerous stranger.
"so sweet, ah~"
taehyung felt himself suffocate but the fingers stroked the bloody wounded skin underneath, trying to ease his pain.
"give in, just give in"
taehyung tried to shake his head but it didn't come off easily. but there was still progress as his head moved just only a little as a no.
the devouring of his blood stopped before the fingers clenched harder around his slender neck. taehyung choked and his eyes turned bloodshot from how it tried to strangle him.
"die then, my beloved"
"AH!" taehyung sat up.
looking around, the brunette huffed as though he ran a marathon in his sleep. cold sweat felt even colder against the winter air of the morning sun that peeked through the small window.
trailing his hand up to his neck, taehyung gasped for air. touching his neck, he sighed with relief seeing it was unharmed — just very sweaty. he felt his back hurt when he sat up. realizing he slept through the night on the hard cold floor. getting up, taehyung took a seat on the untidy bed while ruffling his already messy hair.
surprisingly he was feeling better than yesterday. other days, he would wake up with a severe headache and high fever. but today, his body temperature seemed normal and there was no sign of headaches either, even though he had his head rested in an uncomfortable position on the hard floor.
"did the medicine work? but wait— i didn't even take any. . ." because of throwing up and going through a breakdown, taehyung didn't bother to take the medicines the doctor prescribed. so why was he feeling so much better?
it was strange and taehyung should be happy, heck he should be smiling and all. yet, there was no sign of the brunette smiling or even giving any reaction. taehyung just stared down at his feet, fazed by the dream he just woke up from.
what was that anyway?
after a good time of just thinking about the dream. taehyung realized he was getting late for work by seeing how the sun was now shining brightly above the horizon. the boy hurried and got ready for just another busy day.
not thankful that he recovered. who knows, maybe taehyung was really looking forward to death.
taehyung watched the sunset while leaning against the railing of the bridge. it seemed as though the deep river was swallowing down the sun and making the weather even colder as taehyung wrapped his arms around his body, the coat giving some sort of warmth as he never took his eyes off the front.
sunsets were taehyung's favorite. no matter how tough sledding his life became sometimes, he never failed to break into a small smile while watching the same sunset every day. however, today despite of recovering, taehyung isn't gingered up like how he always is. there's no smile on his love-shaped lips. his pale face saturated by the orange sky seemed tragically beautiful for the passing by women and even a few men to look at.
why are you so sad?
taehyung asked himself. but there was no answer. the boy felt a void inside his heart and no matter what he did, the void just got deeper each minute.
then taehyung figured,
his soul was tired.
it felt as though someone took a part of his heart with them, draining all the liveliness out of his soul.
taehyung felt the need for someone. but he couldn't figure out who it was. who did he miss and who did he yearn for so bad?
when the sun went down the horizon and the orange mellow sky turned dark, taehyung stood upright and walked away. feeling a little too lonely today that felt worse than the sickness he dealt with. at least when he was sick, his mind wasn't occupied with thoughts neither did his heart felt the absence of someone, making it all too difficult for him to be at ease.
at night, taehyung finally made a good dinner he decided to treat himself to since he hasn't really eaten much these past few days. ironically, he made beef stew, the same thing he made that night.
for jeongguk.
when he took a spoonful of the content, taehyung felt his eye burn with tears, recalling the taste and the very compliment the raven head gave.
did he really like the food or was that also a lie?
taehyung ate in silence, recalling everything that never left his mind in the first place. he ate bowl after bowl, not realizing tears were streaming down his face while he chugged on the food.
"i hate you, i hate you so much" taehyung uttered the entire time while he ate. wiping his tears with the back of his palm in sorrow as he swallowed the last portion.
taehyung didn't know the reason his heart felt so heavy and soul so tired was because he missed the one he seemed to hate right now. his soul indirectly craved for jeongguk but taehyung like a fool never understood.
he tried to push jeongguk's thoughts away which only made the void even bigger. taking heavy steps towards the bed, taehyung plopped on his chest, feeling his body heating as nausea returned again.
shit. . . not again. . .
even though taehyung wasn't particularly grateful earlier, it was still harrowing to deal with this sickness that seemed to return. so he laid down on his back and tried to control his unsteady breath.
one thing taehyung wished for right now was for everything to just stop. this sickness, dreadful void, heartbreak and even the beating of his heavy heart — taehyung wanted all of it to just stop.
but things never go according to him. his body just grew even hotter and whatever he ate felt coming up his throat. but the feeling of nausea wasn't that intense this time.
instead, this time taehyung felt his body stimulating. his dick was turning hard and he felt his back hole clenching and soon he felt stickiness in between his inner thighs.
taehyung grew redder but this time in a different way. he didn't know why he was feeling this way. he did hear people can get horny when they are sick but this was really sudden — the way his entire body was yearning for someone certain made things even more strange.
closing his eyes, taehyung took his pillow and rubbed himself on it while imagining someone. that someone turned out to be,
jeongguk.
it was shameless of him to do such lewd things while imagining someone who made him such a mess. but taehyung couldn't think of someone else. it felt as if his own self forced himself to only think of jeongguk and nothing else.
"mhm. . ." taehyung moaned as he trailed his trembling hand behind his ass before he tried to enter a finger in. he humped the pillow harder when his finger went inside him. he tried to sniff his bedsheets, in an attempt to find jeongguk's scent.
what was happening to his body? why did he feel so insanely horny? taehyung felt like he will die from the way his dick throbbed and hole clenched in need of that huge cock.
"jeongguk. . . jeongguk. . ." taehyung moaned as he tried to thrust his finger in and out but it didn't feel even one bit pleasurable as it felt that night. he tried to do it how jeongguk did but he failed miserably and cried for that feeling of intrusion done by the raven head.
his dick leaked with precum as he rubbed it against the pillow and then stroked with his free hand, but he just got even harder until it felt painful to even touch his length.
his back hole was dripping with precum he doesn't even know how was produced. his heart raced faster than ever whenever he recalled the way jeongguk thrusted inside him like a monster.
taehyung had to admit, this was far more painful than the illness he went through. so painful yet he can't do anything about it. his fingers weren't enough and he knew what he needed but, unfortunately, he can't have that, can he?
despite losing all hope, taehyung wished for jeongguk. he wholeheartedly in that sexually aroused state called for jeongguk in his head. wanting nothing but only him.
even though it was shameless and wrong of him to do, he still desired the raven head. he knew only jeongguk could help his situation.
"jeongguk. . . please. . . i need you. . . mhm. . ." taehyung again humped his body on the pillow, now raising his exposed ass to the air to imagine how would jeongguk shove his inhumane cock all the way in, to fill him to the core.
"nngh, jeonggukie. . . come to me. . . please. . ."
taehyung moaned and cried. this was getting too much to handle. never did he imagine his body can writhe in need of a man's dick to ram his insides. it was actually getting so serious that he could die from the horniness if someone certain doesn't fill him up and satisfy his desires right this instant.
and maybe fate was really against him dying as,
taehyung heard someone knocking on his door — violently.
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