a little warning: this chapter contains a mature (kinda) scene 🤭
。。。
It wasn't easy for her to ghost him dahil naging importante na rin naman siya sa kanya, mali rin ang ginawa niyang pang-go-ghost but she just really couldn't say goodbye to him. Flare's fragile heart was afraid to get hurt again, hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit, pero takot siyang masaktan... kahit na wala pa naman siyang gusto sa lalaki. Or maybe, iyon ang akala niya.
She tried her best to keep him off her mind for few days, only to encounter him again at the convenience store. Pakiramdam niya ay pinaglalaruan siya ng tadhana dahil naroon din ang stalker niyang ex.
"Okay ka lang ba? I'm so worried because you're not reply to my messages," he asked as he checked her out from head to foot, mapaghanap ang mga mata niya.
He badly wanted to hug her because he missed her so much, but he was trying so hard to stop himself. Sa halip ay hinawakan nalang niya si Flare sa balikat habang diretso siyang nakatingin sa mga mata nito.
"O...Okay lang ako. N-nabusy lang nang sobra." Flare was shivering as she answered him. Mabuti na lamang ay mukhang hindi rin napansin ni Karl.
He sighed in relief after hearing her answer kahit na sa tingin niya ay may parte pa rin na iniiwasan siya ng babae.
He couldn't take his eyes off her after that. Pareho silang natahimik. Flare's silent dahil hindi niya inaasahan ang reaksyon nito.
Just because of that encounter, she was back in his life again. Dapat hindi na, dapat tatakas na ulit siya, but she learned something.
"Hindi kami nagkabalikan ni Sharmaine."
She was surprised after hearing him say that. Ano 'yon, share niya lang? Tsaka bakit hindi sila nagkabalikan? Flare was wondering.
But oddly, after hearing that, she felt like something changed within her. Pakiramdam niya ay may nabunot na tinik, and for her, it's a bad sign. But she seemed to have lost her control already too, after reading his chats during the days she ghosted him.
Her vulnerability also contributed. She needed someone who would save her from her drowning thoughts as her trauma visited her, and Karl was there... and then it happened.
you are my friend and i love you
and i want to be a part of you
She couldn't control herself anymore after she read that, her vulnerability and desires ate her.
Nang bumukas ang pinto ng unit ni Karl ay naroon kaagad ang lalaki sa tapat at naghihintay sa kanya. His face was etched with worry and when he saw her, ay agad siyang niyakap nito.
"Baby, are you okay?" He asked as he enveloped her body with his warmth.
Flare couldn't answer him. Sa totoo lang ay gustong-gusto na niyang umiyak dahil gulong-gulo na siya dahil sa mga naiisip niya, but suddenly, Karl's presence gave her hope and comfort that everything's gonna be alright.
"Can you tell me what's bothering you? Makikinig ako, pag-usapan natin 'yan. I will never leave you, nandito lang ako. You can share you burdens to me, makikihati ako." he uttered as he stared directly into her eyes.
Flare's eyes were misty at sobrang lakas nang kabog ng dibdib niya. Hindi niya alam kung paano nangyari, but for the first time after years, she feels at home... she felt solace despite the chaos that surrounds her.
Hindi na niya alam kung anong sumapi sa kanya. She held his nape and pulled him closer to her, then their lips touched.
Volts of electricity seemed to have travelled all over their bodies as they kissed. They both felt butterflies in their stomach. Their hearts constricted with that familiar yet very new feeling for them — love.
Mabilis lang iyon at agad siyang humiwalay dahil napagtanto niya ang ginawa at ginapangan siya ng hiya. She pulled away but as she did that, Karl held her face and caressed it slowly and gently, tila ingat na ingat.
Nang iangat ni Flare ang tingin niya sa lalaki ay mataman at tila lasing na itong nakatingin sa kanya.
Then he kissed her. Slow, gently, and so passionate. Flare was taken aback, hindi niya inaasahan iyon, but she was already beyond control and salvation... hindi na niya kaya pang pigilan ang sarili niya.
So she kissed him back.
Marahan at masuyo nilang hinalikan ang isa't isa. Karl scooped her as they kissed, kinarga siya nito papasok sa kwarto saka inilapag sa kama.
She was nervous as hell, ngunit mas nanaig ang kagustuhan niyang halikan ang lalaki. She wanted to feel him.
Mas lalong lumalim ang halikan nila, then she felt Karl caressing her chest. She was just wearing a t-shirt and skirt, kung kaya't madaling nakapasok ang kamay ng lalaki sa pang itaas na suot niya.
She was clinging to his shoulders as he continued kissing her down to her neck and jaw. Panay din ang pagpapakawala niya ng mga halinghing.
"Should I?" he asked with his drunk eyes as he held the hem of her shirt.
Tumango si Flare at tinulungan si Karl hubarin iyon, kasama na ang bra niya. He immediately found her twin peaks and Flare immediately moaned when he enveloped her right nipple with his wet and warm mouth. He started sucking it.
Hindi na alam ni Flare kung saan ibabaling ang ulo niya as Karl alternately sucked her nipples, at hindi lang iyon, onti-onti na rin niyang nararamdaman ang kamay nito sa gitna ng mga hita niya. The growing bulge on his pants also served as a fuel for her, tila nawawala na siya sa sarili dahil sa nangyayari. But she's liking it... the pleasure and new feeling he's giving her.
People were saying that she's a dirty woman dahil pumatol siya sa may asawa na kahit na hindi naman niya ito alam. They were so quick to accuse her of doing things like... having sex with that man. Pero ang totoo, walang nangyari sa kanila. Flare loved him, but she didn't give herself to him.
But now, she's already doing it. Hindi pwede pero ayaw na niyang tumigil. She was already so lost with the pleasure he's giving to her.
What happened next was fast, the next thing she knew wala na siyang saplot sa ibaba and Karl was caressing her folds gently with his long fingers.
They weren't talking, but their moans and groans were already enough to know that they both like what they're doing.
Karl was also already too lost and beyond control. Ang gusto nalang din niyang gawin ay ang iparamdam sa babae kung gaano na niya ito kamahal.
He took off his clothes and positioned himself in front of her. He chuckled as he saw how her eyes widened when her eyes fell to his thing.
Flare gulped, pero hindi rin nagtagal ay hinila niya ang lalaki para halikan nang masuyo. Karl nodded and smiled in between their kisses.
She just gave him the permission and he understood it. And so, he entered her.
It was so painful at first for Flare because it's her first, but Karl was so gentle, and he also kept on whispering comforting words to her.
"It's okay, I'll be gentle, baby." He kissed her lips which muffled her moans. Hawak-hawak din niya ang mga kamay niya, he intertwined their fingers as he moved on top of her.
It was his first too and he's also so nervous. Hindi niya alam kung tama ba ang mga ginagawa niya but Flare's reaction was telling him that she likes what he's doing to her.
Pouring all his emotions and feelings, he made love to her.
They're both flustered and couldn't comprehend what just happened after that, pero pareho rin silang walang mahanap na pagsisisi dahil sa nangyari.
For Karl, what happened served as a fuel for him to be more showy regarding his feelings. Natatakot siya na aminin ang mga salitang iyon sa kanya dahil baka hindi pala sila pareho ng nararamdaman, but he thought that he can also show it through his actions.
What happened that night was repeated. Simula noon ay lagi na nilang ginagawa. They act like lovers but they both don't know what they really are. Walang label, sabi nga nila.
For Flare, Karl's off limits dahil masyadong mababa ang tingin niya sa sarili. But she already loves him, hindi lang niya masabi dito, because she's also afraid that he doesn't feel the same.
"Fuck, you're making me crazy," hinihingal niyang saad bago bumagsak sa ibabaw ni Flare. They stared at each other's eyes and chuckled before delving for another kiss.
"You're hard again," nakangising saad ni Flare, Karl just chuckled.
"And whose fault is this?" He raised a brow.
She did the same. "Luh, sinisisi mo naman sa akin. Ako ba may etits?"
Karl laughed and playfully pinched her nipple before kissing her again.
"Gutom ka na, 'diba? I should cook for you."
Flared smirked. "Bakit pa? Busog na rin naman na ako. You already fed me."
Malutong na napamura si Karl. "You really are tempting me again."
Flare laughed. "Nagpapatukso ka naman."
"You're really a temptress, lagot ka sa akin." He uttered and kissed her neck.
They were always like that. Their relationship was certainly more than friends but also not lovers... dahil pareho rin silang duwag.
They rely so much on actions but actions without words were also confusing. And Karl's biggest regret was that he let the woman he loves slip away again without telling her what he really feels.
He lost her again, but he was also determined to find her.
"My cousin has been through a lot already, ayoko nang masaktan pa siya. Kung tutuosin ayaw ko 'tong gawin but..." Kyzia sighed as she looked at the man in front of her. "Gusto ko lang subukan, kasi baka sakaling ikaw nga 'yon, ang taong makapagpapabalik ng dating siya... ang palangiti at masayahin na Flare. Iyong Flare na walang maskara, ang totoong siya."
Karl sighed and bit his lip. Tumango siya sa kaharap.
"I won't hurt your cousin. Mahal ko siya. So please don't worry, hindi na ako gagawa ng kahit anong makakasakit sa kanya."
Kyzia nodded and eyed him sharply.
"Dapat lang, dahil lagot ka sa akin kapag saktan mo pa siyang muli, Karl Angelus. At siguraduhin mo ring totoo nga 'yang feelings mo, dahil kung hindi, magkasama ko kayong papatayin ng pinsan mo."
Karl chuckled a bit kahit na medyo kabado siya. Kabado, hindi dahil kalokohan lang ang nararamdaman niya, kabado siya dahil alam niyang malapit na silang magkitang muli.
Kyzia just gave him the address of the place where Flare's currently staying, nanginginig pa ang kamay niya habang hawak ang phone na naglalaman ng location nito.
Matapang niyang tiningnan ang babae sa harapan niya.
"I've never been this sure my whole life. Kaya makakaasa ka. I promise to love her with everything that I have," he uttered and smiled.
Kyzia raised a brow. "Then what are you waiting for? Go now, she's already waiting for her taiyaki."
Karl nodded. "Maraming salamat, Ky. Tatanawin ko 'tong habang-buhay na utang na loob sa 'yo."
Determinado siyang umalis. It was a long drive pero masyado yata siyang excited kaya hindi man lang nakaramdam ng pagod o antok.