T H I R T Y E I G H T
Three Months Later
"Momma, can I wear the purple shoes Ba got me to dance class?"
Throwing myself tirelessly on Maia's bed after helplessly fighting with my sandals, a battle I seem to keep losing every day. "Yes, as long as you help me put my shoes on after you finish putting on yours." I nodded.
Being pregnant has been a wonderful experience up until every part of my body has gotten so swollen that I barely fit in my shoes or pregnancy clothes.
Lately, all I've wanted to wear has been oversized shirts without any pants or bras, for that matter, but no matter how much I wanted to stay home mostly naked, I still had to take care of my five-year-old. And leaving the house without pants was not acceptable according to society.
Whoever decided wearing no pants in public was illegal has never carried another growing human the size of a watermelon inside their body.
"All done," Maia announced, standing in front of me, looking rather proud that she managed to put on her brand-new shoes and my own all by herself.
"Thank you, sweetpea. You are mommy's lifesaver. Now let's get you to dance class." I smiled, pushing myself off the bed.
As I was about to exit the bedroom, I felt a slight wetness between my legs. I stopped in my tracks for a second, telling myself I had probably peed a little. Ever since I got pregnant, minor accidents have happened from time to time, but something was telling me this was not the case this time around.
"Shit." I panicked, holding on to the doorframe for support as I felt a slight pressure on my pelvis, slowly spreading to my lower back. "No, no, no."
There was no way my water broke. There was absolutely no way what I just felt was a mild contraction. This baby still had three weeks until they were due. This was not happening right now.
"Momma, are you okay? I think you went potty on yourself." Maia said, pointing at the amniotic fluid droplets trailing down my legs and onto the floor.
Trying to keep my cool in front of my child, I took a deep breath. "Maia, baby, I need you to do another favor for mommy. This time a really, really important one."
"What, momma?" She asked, standing like she was ready to tackle any job I threw her way. I swear this girl was five going on 21.
"Do you remember when daddy taught you how to call 9-1-1 and what to say when they answer, like your name and the address?"
Maia nodded, giving me a confused look. "Yes, but daddy said that it's for emergencies only. For when someone is hurt."
"I know, baby. And daddy is absolutely right. Now one is hurt, but I believe your baby sister or brother is coming right now, and I can't drive to the hospital because my um—my tummy hurts," My fingers dug into the doorframe as another sharp pain hit me. "So, would you please grab my phone from the kitchen table and call?"
At the mention of the word baby, Maia's eyes grew more prominent with excitement. She didn't wait for another second before her little legs took off, running down the hallway.
"Hi, Josh!" I heard Maia exclaim from the living room. "Daddy said to only call for emergencies, but mommy went potty on the floor, and my baby sister or brother is coming."
"Maia, give me the phone, please." I said, letting out a sigh of relief as the pain ceased. Without wasting any time, I met Maia halfway down the hallway.
"It's Aunty Maddie's friend." She informed passing me the phone.
"Oh—" Another wave of pressure made its way through my body, starting on my lower back this time. The pain feeling a little more intense than before.
"Momma?" I felt Maia's small hand taking my free one. Her voice went from excited to worried, making me feel terrible. I didn't want to scare her, but controlling the faces the pain was making me do was quite impossible right now. It's like I couldn't control anything.
Feeling the pain pass for the second time, I stood up straighter, reassuringly squeezing my daughter's hand.
"Josh, I'm on the verge of panicking right now. My water broke, and the contractions are around 3 minutes apart. I think I've been in labor since last night because I kept experiencing stomach pain, but I thought it was indigestion for eating all those stupid spicy wings and the mountain of loaded fries Buck told me not to eat—"
"Agatha, sweetie, take a deep breath with me." Josh interrupted my almost endless rant. With tears in my eyes, I followed his lead and took a deep breath before letting it out. "Just grab the things you need for the hospital and stay calm. The paramedics from the 116 are 5 minutes away. I'll stay on the line until they get there. Okay?"
I nodded, blinking away my tears. "Thank you."
Still holding on to Maia's hand, I walked towards the living room, ensuring one of the three hospital bags Evan insisted on preparing three months ago was next to the front door. The other two were in our respective cars.
I thought I was the over-thinker and overly panicky person in this marriage, but after getting pregnant, Evan won the title fair and square. The man has read more pregnancy and parenting books than the number of months I've been pregnant.
Shit, Evan.
I had to tell him what was going on.
With Josh still on the line, I searched for Evan's name in my text messages and shot him a text, not wanting to call in case he was on call at work. The last thing I needed was my husband getting hurt in a call for panicking while I was about to have our child.
An insistent pound on the front door made both Maia and me jump. "Agatha, girly is us. Let's go have this baby." Daisy shouted from the other side.
I felt Maia looking at me to open the door, but another contraction overtook me. "Go open—"
The little girl got the memo and immediately stood on her tiptoes to unlock the door. "Do not panic, anyone. Auntie Daisy is here to help. Boys hurry up and get the stretcher. Maia go with uncle Jake. Agatha, honey, let's go." Daisy started barking instructions to everyone sporting one of her bossy looks.
Before I could say anything, she linked her arm with mine, slowly pushing me out the door while grabbing the hospital bag from the floor and locking the door behind us.
"Zee, I'm glad you are here, but you must slow down."
Jake and Daisy's paramedic partner snorted as they helped me get on the stretcher. "Agatha, you have known my fiancé enough to know that there is no such thing as slowing down in her vocabulary." Jacob laughed, shaking his head as he watched Daisy make sure Maia got inside the ambulance.
If it weren't for my ridiculous pain, I would've smiled at how Jake watched Daisy's crazy self as if she were the last amazing woman left on this planet. He deserved all the medals that existed out there because dealing with Daisy was always a challenging and unique trip. I always thought Daisy and Theodore would end up together somehow, but seeing the way Jake and Daisy's relationship has bloomed throughout the years, that thought disappeared.
Even though my best friend has never said anything to me about it, I knew deep down that Theodore would always be her person. Just like Evan has been mine since the day we met.
"Enough chit-chat. Buck and I had a million conversations about this moment. Let's go!" Daisy shouted, motioning for the guys to wheel me inside the ambulance.
I rested my hands on my stomach, knowing that no matter what happened to me, the little person growing inside of me would always be loved and taken care of.
- - -
"Mommy, you are crowning. It's time to get this baby out into this big beautiful world!" My doctor chirped, tying her bright pink scrub cap.
I shook my head. My eyes watered as I rested my hands on my stomach. "No, I have to wait. It's too early."
Now that reality had sunk in about this baby coming; I started to panic. I have always wanted to get pregnant and have my baby, but now that it was actually happening, I couldn't stop spiraling. I wasn't new to motherhood. Raising Maia has been a beautiful experience, but something about giving birth to a child made me feel like I would fail.
"Aggs, I won't let you go through this alone. I'm here." Maddie said, resting a hand on top of mine.
"I can't do this without Evan. I don't want to." I cried, refusing to push. There was no way in hell I would do this right now. The baby could definitely wait the three weeks in had left.
"Agatha, if we don't have this baby soon, he will go in distress, and so will you leading to an emergency c-section. You can even lose the baby. " The doctor explained. The paramedic/nurse side of me already knew this, but the first time bringing a human into this world, part of me couldn't comprehend it when I was feeling terrified.
"I'm scared," I admitted, gripping the bedsheet under me as I felt another contraction coming. I've been in this process for almost an hour and a half. The nurses and the doctor kept offering me an Epidural, but I refused. I didn't want to be a masochist, but after losing so many babies, I wanted to go through the entire experience, painful or not. "I need Buck, Maddie. Please!"
"I know, I know. Athena and your dad have been trying to get ahold of Bobby and Buck but have received no answer. They must be on a call. We are trying our best." Maddie explained for the million time in the past twenty minutes. Whenever the words came out of my mouth, I hopefully wished for a different answer.
"Agatha, I understand what you are going through, but we must have this baby now." Dr. Fernandez insisted, patting my knees. "Take a deep breath and push."
With tears in my eyes, I held on to the handrails of the hospital bed and gave a big push even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.
"You are doing great," Maddie encouraged, wiping the beads of sweat that were starting to form on my forehead.
"Good, mommy. Take a breather nice and slow." The doctor continued.
I felt so uncomfortable. I tried sitting up slightly but realized I was in too much pain and had barely any energy. Leaning my head back in the bed, tears streamed down my cheeks. I couldn't believe I was doing this without Evan. We spent endless nights discussing all the ways we wanted this labor to go, but none of the ways we discussed involved not having him next to me. I don't think it even crossed our minds.
I couldn't do this. I imagined this moment being special, but not like this. I loved Maddie as if she was my older sister, but the person I needed the most wasn't here. I needed my husband.
As I finished giving another push along with a loud groan, the hospital room door opened abruptly as Evan, in his firefighting gear, came bursting in.
A relieved cry escaped my lips as I watched Evan run to my side. "I'm so sorry, Aggs. We were on a call. Athena got there and told me. I'm sorry." He rambled, leaning down to kiss my lips.
"Dad, we are glad you joined us. Ready to party?" Dr. Fernandez asked. Her cheerfulness made me want to throw up and punch her in the face while I was in this much pain and a vulnerable position with my legs wide open. "You ready for another push?"
I nodded, feeling like I could breathe slightly better now that my person was here.
I tried my best to sit up again but was too exhausted. As if he could tell, Evan started stripping from his firefighter gear before he wrapped an arm behind me, propping me up on the bed.
"I'm here, Aggs," Evan whispered, letting me support most of my weight on his arm. While holding one of my hands, he helped me lean forward as I gave another push. Meanwhile, Maddie held my other hand, squeezing it.
"Perfect, mommy. A couple of more pushes, and your little one will be out. I can already see their head." The doctor encouraged.
Evan whispered sweet encouraging words in my ear while I pushed with all I got. Everything felt like it was moving slowly until I finally heard the sound I will never forget—the first cry of another tiny person I will love and protect with all my heart.
"Congratulations. It's a beautiful baby girl with so much hair!"
I leaned back on the bed with tears in my eyes.
A girl.
"I love you so much." Evan cried, kissing my head as together we watched in awe as the nurses put the baby in my arms.
She hadn't even been in my arms for a minute, yet I was so in love with her. She was beautiful.
Through my tears, I carefully checked her entire body as if to make sure she was real, from her head full of hair, and her father's icy blue eyes, to her cute little toes.
"She's perfect," I whispered, kissing her head.