To say things in the freakshow have been weird this past year is an understatement elsa is now on her way to fulfilling her dream of becoming a star with the help of Stanley but you didn't trust it call it a daughters intuition you wanted to look out for you mother and your family.
But what really got to you was the fact your marriage with jimmy was on the rocks, ever since dell came along you noticed his strange behavior like he's keeping something from you, you had a talk with Ethel and discovered that dell was infact your husbands father, Ethel trusted you enough to tell you that but you couldn't imagine how painful it must have been for her to see her sons father infront of his eyes and do nothing that was until the incident with amazon eve.
Jimmy set out to have a talk with dell in the town, you expected him to be gone an hour or two but he never returned till the next morning, you were heavily pregnant with Jimmy's child you stayed at Ethel's till Jimmy came home in the early hours shouting and bawling Clinging on to dell.
You stood outside his mother's door watching Jimmy with the look of disappointment he never drank a day in his life and here he is drunk, "where the fuck were you jimmy" you sighed annoyed holding onto your obvious bump through your nightgown, "baby I went to town" he slurred "get in the caravan jimmy" you said crossing your arms together.
Elsa told dell something you weren't really caring about, "Jimmy I gotta tell you something is the toledo code the minute you let a woman tell you what to do is the minute you hand your balls to them" dell stated making you, your mother and desiree pissed, "I wanna keep my balls" jimmy slurred going on to tell elsa things are going to change.
"Dell you get your son in that caravan and get him to sleep cause I ain't you got him in that state you deal with him" you snapped walking off, "y/n no where are you going" jimmy yelled in a slur, "to my mom's tent till you sober up" was all you said going into elsa's tent.
*a few weeks later*
From then on everything got worse Ethel passed away jimmy was out his mind with drinking all the time it wasn't jimmy anymore he wasn't the man you fell in love with and married at 17 years old.
You didn't want the baby being born with their father drinking all the time you had enough, you went to get breakfast you could hear Jimmy shouting at himself thinking it was someone trying to start drama in his own head, you made yourself a sandwich something light you couldn't eat much with worry.
"Baby" Jimmy slurred guzzling down a bottle of beer you let out a sigh through your nose trying not to get mad, but it was hard when your literally about to drop a baby any moment and your hormones are going crazy, "you talking to me or that bottle jimmy" you huffed going to sit with the others whilst they ate, "What's your problem y/n" Jimmy raised his voice throwing the last of the bottle away at the end of the table alone.
"You Jimmy, you're my problem look I get it your grieving but drinking ain't the answer not when you have a wife and a baby ready to be born at any given moment Ethel wouldn't have wanted this for you" you sighed cradling your bump.
"Well nothing we can do now y/n because she's dead she's not coming back" he slurred his eyes threatening to fall shut, you felt angry that he would say that he knew what it was like being a kid with a parent who has drinking problems why would he want his baby to be brought up the same, "you better get your act together jimmy before this baby is born the ball is on your side of the court now because I'm done trying I gave my fucking life to you darling you have responsibilities now so wise up before it's too late" you yelled slamming your fist on the wooden table before walking off to cool down desiree following behind you.
"FUCK" you could hear jimmy yelling kicking something in his way you didn't care you just went to your trailer the tears slipping out your eyes, "it's alright sweetheart it's going to be alright" desiree assured holding your frail pregnant body close to her as your sobbed into her arms.
"I'm tired of this des I'm just so so tired" you hiccuped in-between sobs, you couldn't take it anymore if he wasn't going to listen to you who would he listen to, "maybe dell could maybe get to him it's worth a try" desiree suggested you were desperate so you had to talk to del, you nodded in agreement going to find dell.
You searched everywhere for dell finally finding him near the main tent talking to Stanley, "dell I need to talk to you" you said earning the attention from the two men who noticed your tear stained eyes, "after me your first in line" Stanley chuckled trying to gain dell's attention back to their conversation, "Stanley I'd advise you not to piss me off now beat it I need to talk to you dell it's important" you urged "I'll be a moment stanley" dell excused himself his hand on the small of your back guiding you somewhere more private.
"What's wrong?" Dell asked his eyes scanning your face in concern, "it's jimmy he's going down a very bad slope with the booze dell I can't get through to him but maybe you can just tell him how much it fucked everything up for you as a dad or something just tell him anything he needs you more than ever now" you began to breakdown again sitting on a sack of hay dell didn't know what to do.
He was terrified to share his feeling with jimmy on why he abandoned him, "you at least owe him that anyway dell it might give him the closure he needs" you said dell sighed heavily taking a seat next to you, "I'll try and get through to him you and the baby needs him more than anything right now" was all dell could say you nodded staring at the ground silence filling the space.
"Why did you leave him" you suddenly asked wanting to know, "I was so scared he had what I got criticised for not having by my family and I freaked out when I saw his hands they brought up the past I know it's a shitty excuse but it's true" dell stated feeling the guilt eat him up.
"But I wanted to come back I wanted to be there for him I missed so much if his life, his first word, steps, birthdays, Christmas even his own wedding I just don't know how to make up for lost time" dell sighed a stray tear slipping out his eye letting himself be vulnerable, "just be there for him right now dell you can't make up to jimmy for all that lost time but think of it this way you can gain those memories with your grandchild all those things that you missed out you and Jimmy can make even more special memories" you smiled hoping that maybe that would lift dell's spirits up.
"You know what y/n your right maybe me coming here is really a blessing I can't turn back time and make the right choice with jimmy but maybe being there for him now and for this family" dell smiled you trying to push your body up from the sack of hay with dell's assistance to get on with your day.
Jimmy was no where in sight you thought he probably went into town or something you weren't to sure, you went into your mother's tent to talk with her but she was again talking to Stanley it seems if so whenever you wanted to your mother or anyone for that matter he was there rambling on about showbiz and their chance in Hollywood you had a feeling it was all talk about it all.
"Mom?" You tried to gain her attention like a toddler wanting to show their parents a picture they drawn, "not now y/n can you see I am busy my darling" your mother's German accent shushed you Stanley glanced over at you with a smug smile like it was a competition for anyone's attention against you, you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the pettiness of it all your mother was so dumb to fall for it.
"Just think about what I'm offering elsa" was the last thing Stanley said to her before walking past you but not without that smug grin on his face, you scrunched your face at him taking a seat on the sofa, "what was that all about?" You asked cradling your bump trying to get yourself comfortable but it was no use.
"He wants me to be on the television I don't want to be on television I prefer the beauty of the silverscreen" your mother shrugged you scoffed she's really falling for that, "what are you scoffing at my sweet child huh?" Elsa raised her eyebrow at you waiting on your answer, "mother you tried to shoot your shot at fame but look where that got you here hiding the fact that your a freak too it's not right at all" you sighed shaking your head.
"If I remember you married a man who has lobster claws as hands and your carrying his unborn child in that stomach of yours" your mother took offence to your statement pointing her finger at you, "exactly there's nothing to be ashamed of your just like the rest of them mother sure you weren't born with the disformity but you can relate to them I'm the lucky one I could have ran and had a better life but I chose not to because this is my family" you argued back with her proving your point that this is her family she would be leaving behind.
"Because you fell in love your lucky you have someone to love you I'd kill to have someone love me like jimmy loves you y/n you have it very lucky child" elsa hissed she was always jealous of you and Jimmy's relationship since she always wanted to be loved, "well I don't think that's the case anymore" you whispered your hormones now switching rapidly from pissed off to on the verge of tears.
"Why whats the matter my darling" elsa asked of course your mother hadn't noticed that your marriage was on the rocks when everyone else saw, "I tried to talk to you about it all the time of but you wouldn't have noticed since your too busy thinking about yourself as per usual" you snapped a single tear leaving your eyes, elsa's face dropped now realising how much you were hurting and how alone you felt.
"I needed you mother and you were to busy thinking about elsa Mars like always Jimmy's even too busy getting drunk every second of everyday i- I just feel so alone" you sobbed finally having enough you needed a good cry and let all of your emotions out after months of keeping them in.
"But I thought you and Jimmy were fine now" elsa thought out loud you let out another scoff, "Oh yeah mother my husband and I are getting along great Jimmy's just getting drunk all the time barely bothers with me and I'm a raging ball of hormones" you scoffed shaking your head.
"I'll so sorry my darling you and Jimmy will sort things out you always do" you just nodded at elsa's words making your way out the tent jimmy was still no where to be seen.
Later on that night you laid on you and Jimmy's shared bed your record player on to some soft music you held your bump singing softly to your unborn child. You couldn't help but smile thinking how much closer you were to seeing their little face.
You were snapped out of your peaceful mind with the door banging closed revealing the culprit jimmy, staggering in drunk of his mind, "fuck" he slurred almost tripping over his own feet you just watched him not saying anything.
His back was opposite you so you couldn't see his face as jimmy tried to take his shirt off leaving himself in his old worn out wife beater on, "this fucking shirt" he huffed throwing it on the table once he finally got the fabric off with a struggle you cleared your throat gaining your husbands attention.
"And where were you jimmy" you asked nonchalantly you were over this now this was Jimmy's problem to deal with if he wants to drink himself into the gutter then so be it, "out making a little more dough than we usually make like always" he slurred you knew about the tupperware party's for years and it did bring a decent amount of money home so you were fine with it.
"Okay I'm surprised you even made your way back home never mind getting those woman off in that state" you shrugged, "well I made it home and I made a few bucks now I want to open a beer and lay down" jimmy slurred opening the small refrigerator realising its empty from alcohol.
"Where's my beers?" He asked closing the door then opening it back it hoping that maybe the fridge would magically spawn a pack of beers, "well they went down your throat jimmy" you recalled getting yourself off the bed to make yourself some tea, "no I could have sworn I had a few-" jimmy was cut off by you latching onto your stomach in pain a loud groan of pain leaving your lips.
Your body was bent over the counter a wave of fear and panic washed over you, "What's wrong y/n" Jimmy asked also in shock and fear his body sobering up seeing you in such pain.
"I think my waters broke" you groaned your nightgown now soaked another Sharp pain overpowering your body making you let out a scream of agony, "AHH jimmy get my mom please" you begged jimmy laid you down on the bed rushing out to get your mother.
You laid there trying to get your breathing back to normal but everytime you managed to get your breathing more normal then the pain cane back as time went by the pain became more frequent.
The pain was unbearable you couldn't believe the pains of the contractions you were dreading the actual birth, the door swug open revealing jimmy, your mother and desiree all in a panic, "my darling What's wrong" your mother asked kneeling down beside you, "I think I'm having the baby I'm so scared mother" you sobbed holding your mother's hand.
"How far apart are the pains y/n" desiree asked "elsa grab some towels and a bucket of water" she instructed you mother was off in a hurry grabbing everything needed, "there about two minutes apart now" you groaned, Jimmy stood beside desiree not knowing what on earth to do, "Jimmy don't just stand there hold her hand be there for her" desiree said Jimmy was right by your side holding your hand the other stroking your damp hair.
The tears filled the brim of your eyes the pain was unbearable, desiree was checking if she could see the baby's head, "Don't worry honey I've delivered a baby or two in my time" she reassured you nodded holding into Jimmy's hand squeezing the life out of it.
What felt like forever desiree telling you to keep pushing you heard those little cries of your baby, Jimmy's eyes went wide watching as desiree wrap you baby in a blanket, "congratulations it's a gorgeous baby girl" desiree announced your face lit up in a smile hearing those words jimmy couldn't help but let tears of joy escape him.
"A girl y/n a baby girl" he whispered desiree handed your small infant to your husband his eyes never leaving the baby, "elsa can you give y/n a wash and change her into clean clothes" desiree instructed your mother took you to get washed and changed.
By the time you got back desiree was gone jimmy was still holding your daughter with a small smile, "I'll leave you two alone" your mother said leaving yours and jimmy trailer, "can I hold her?" You asked laying back on the bed you noticed the new sheets on the bed, "of course" jimmy handed you the baby you were so scared holding her like fragile China, "she's beautiful" jimmy smiled placing a kiss on your head.
"She really is" you sighed looking up at your husband with a smile and exhaustion in your eyes, "ethel" you whispered jimmy looked at you confused "what?" He chuckled sitting on the bed, "I think her name should be Ethel after your mother, after a strong woman" Jimmy's smile got brighter he couldn't have agreed more if he needed to, "Ethel darling yeah I like that, look y/n I'm sorry for the way I've been acting after seeing the baby I realised that isn't what you both need and I promise I won't ever let another drink come near me" jimmy apologised now in tears.
"Jimmy i forgive you and I know it was with everything happening but now we have a family that's all that matters now" you said placing a kiss on his lips.