Ellie's eyes went to Nat, then to Nick, then back to Nat. Her face was plastered with surprise as her jaw hung low. Nat had stepped away from Nick as soon as she heard the other athletic trainer speak. Nat glanced at Nick to see if he would be willing to explain the scene Ellie had stumbled upon, but his face looked just as shocked and a little embarrassed. He had a slight blush as his eyebrows had migrated to his forehead.
Man, he looks so cute. Damn it Ellie.
Ellie was now making direct eye contact with Nat as she crossed her arms waiting for an explanation. At this point Ellie had resumed control of her mandible and now had a giant smile on her face. If Nat had any worry of how Ellie was reacting, that vanished along with any shred of confidence she had. The silence in the room seemed to only get louder the longer nobody said anything.
Think Nataly. Think of something. Literally anything. She clearly saw us kissing, so why was I kissing him? Oh God there's literally no reason I would be kissing Nick Bosa in my office. What the fuck even are we???
The silence was finally broken by the puppy still waiting in its carrier on a chair across from Nat. Sugar began barking in her high pitched voice and all three people turned to her. As Nat looked towards the puppy, she saw an opportunity. She would not be proud of her next steps, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
She took advantage of the distraction to gather the forms she had come back to her office for. She tucked them under her arm then rushed to the carrier and picked it up. Still with a quick pace, Nat headed straight out the door and called out "See you at the game!" to no one in particular.
Once she was out of sight of the office, Nat took off running. With how fast she felt her legs move, she figured she could give any one on the Pioneers a run for their money. Nat faintly heard Ellie yelling, but she didn't hear any footsteps behind her. Her relief was immense that the defensive end she just made out with wasn't following her. Nat didn't stop running until she made it into the safety of her car. Once there, she placed Sugar into the passenger seat and fastened her to the seat belt. Now, with nothing but silence accompanying her, Nat could think clearly.
Shit. Okay Nataly game plan time. What's priority one? Ellie... What's priority two? Nick... okay. I need to explain to Ellie what happened. I should just be honest. He kissed me, it took me by surprise and I was pushing him away from my mouth using my lips. And my hands. Fuck. It's okay, Ellie doesn't seem like she'll rat me out. I'll text her when I get home.
Nat began to drive out of the stadium and make her way to her apartment.
Nick... What do I even say to him? He kissed me... but I kissed him back. That means something. But it can't mean something. If it meant something, that could be my job on the line. I can't get fired. No other NFA team would ever hire me again. I would have to move back in with my parents. Find a new career. Oh God, but the AI is taking over I'm not going to find a new job-
Nat's spiraling was paused as her phone started to ring. "Nick" flashed clearly on the dashboard of her car.
Oh man, I'm sorry Nick. I can't talk right now, I just can't.
Nat rejected the call and continued to drive as she replayed the scene that had just played out in her office. How his strong hands pulled her close to his body. The way his soft lips danced across hers. The more Nat thought about it the more she could feel her face turn red. Her hands trembled slightly as she pulled into the lot of her apartment. The knot in her stomach grew tighter and tighter. Nat's conflicted heart weighed heavy in her chest and as she tried to come up with some script to say to Nick the next day.
Nick, I like you and I definitely liked that kiss... but we can't go farther. I'm not going to sleep with you no matter how badly I want to. You need to understand what's at stake. Please, it's for the best.
Once Nat parked in her spot, all she could do was mindlessly gaze at the steering wheel. In one short moment, her life had completely turned upside down. She had kissed the man she had the biggest crush on and had been caught. Thankfully she was caught by a friend who Nat would like to believe she could trust, but it was still up in the air. And she was lucky it hadn't been someone worse who found them. Nat checked her phone and saw 2 messages, one from Ellie and one from Nick:
Nick: Hey, I'm sorry for coming on to you tonight. Just text me back so I know you got home safe.
Ellie: I won't tell anyone, but you have got A LOT of explaining to do. "See you at the game" ;)
Nat stared blankly at the messages on her phone. Sugar began whimpering in the seat next to her. As Nat continued to stare blankly, she let out a whimper too.
...
The primetime game between the Pioneers and Sparrowhawks snuck up on Nat much like Ellie had the night before. True to her plan, Nat had replied to Ellie telling her she would explain everything after the game. She asked Ellie if they could just play it cool and to her relief Ellie agreed to keep quiet. However, every time Nat was near Ellie as they made preparations for the game, the blonde southerner gave her a smug look that seemed to revel in the dirty secret she had uncovered. To add insult to injury, Ellie ditched her Giordano jersey for a Bosa one.
With priority one in order, Nat began to focus on priority 2. She had responded to Nick to let him know not to worry about the kiss and that she indeed made it home safe. He had liked her message, but the conversation died there. She spotted him typing numerous times, but it seems he decided he would let Nat make the first move. Of course a defensive player would rather wait and see what happens than take action.
Nat knew she would have to speak her mind, and to Nick. She just had no idea what she would even say. The way she saw it, she could admit her feelings to her new found friend, but then what? He clearly had some feelings of his own and Nat was not about to suggest they start dating. They couldn't. Nat thought of Jeff's girlfriend, the former social media intern, and she knew she could not afford to suffer the same fate.
So that left Nat with only one other option, one she was not eager to take. She would have to tell Nick she did not feel the same way. Just the thought of telling him that made her develop a lump in her throat. Not only was it a blatant lie, but she was afraid of breaking his heart. Nick had promised he wouldn't let someone hurt her, how could she hurt him?
As the announcer called out the players' names, Nat watched as one by one the Pioneers entered to the cacophony of the stadium. As Ellie began to gather the water bottles they would offer to the players, Nat merely handed them back to her while shaking her head.
Ellie gave her an unamused look, but accepted Nat's decision. Not without protest, she added "Sweetheart you're going to have to talk to him sooner or later. I'd prefer sooner, don't need him letting this mess with his brain. This is a huge game for us."
Nat solemnly nodded at Ellie's words and knew she had a point. It was eating Nat up not knowing how Bosa was responding to everything. She glanced over in his direction and saw him by himself, breathing in and out with his eyes closed, no doubt trying to focus his attention to the game at hand.
Nat couldn't work up the courage to talk to him, so she settled for the next best thing.
Nat pulled up next to Jeff Giordano who had just gotten back from the coin toss. The Pioneers won and had deferred as always, so she had some time to talk to her new ally. She had hoped he would have another nugget of wisdom to offer her.
Before she could speak, a camera person took a picture of the two of them on the bench. The flash had disoriented Nat briefly, but once she regained her composure she looked at Jeff and started,
"Hey Jeff. I know this probably isn't the best time, but can I ask you a question?"
Jeff looked at her silently for a moment. "You just did," he chuckled to himself.
Nat ignored his comment. "Listen I just need your advice and since yesterday you surprised me, I'm hoping you can help me again."
Jeff nodded at this, "Of course Nat. I actually owe you for yesterday. You single handedly changed my life."
Jesus, has no one ever bought this guy a cup of coffee?
Nat proceeded with her question, "What do you do, when you know you need to talk to someone about... something that happened... but you aren't sure what you want to say about it?"
Jeff looked confused, "Well that depends... what happened?"
Nat felt like she was going to throw up. "Do you need to know?"
"Do you want my honest opinion?"
Nat thought for a moment about telling him she kissed someone but decided she didn't want to rope him in on her drama. There was still a major game against a divisional rival on the line, and the Pioneers defense looked to be holding strong. The offense would no doubt get called out any minute.
Jeff seemed aware of this as well, so he decided to give his two cents. "Look, if you're not sure what you even want to say, there's no point in having a conversation. Yesterday you taught me that actions are louder than words and that put everything into perspective. Try thinking about what you want to do and not what you want to say."
Nat was once again genuinely shocked Jeffy G had given her something resembling solid advice. Her broken clock had been correct for the 2nd time, so Nat decided not to push the matter further. As Jeff prepared to head out to the field, Deon Hudson came from behind him and patted him on the back.
"Jeffy G, don't let this one get in your head. It's hard to get her out" Deon said as he winked at Nat.
At this, Nat rolled her eyes and took this as her cue to leave. She went back to join Ellie and crossed her arms, reflecting on what Jeff told her. What DO I want to do?
Ellie gave a sideway glance at Nat and then suddenly started, "Is Bosa not enough? Why are you talking to my man now?"
Nat was caught off guard and began to stammer when Ellie started laughing.
"Girl I'm just yanking your leg. I know you don't want to talk about it but I had to get SOMETHING in" she said as she continued to laugh.
Nat shook her head and decided it was time to pick her new friend's brain on the matter. "Ellie, I don't know what to do. Nick and I can't talk about this now, there's literally a game going on. Please can you just give me some advice?" Nat pleaded.
Ellie looked back at her with a stern look on her face. "Look sweetheart, I get it, it's complicated. Whatever's been going on with you and Bosa clearly has been going for a while. I don't know how I didn't notice" catching herself trailing off, Ellie shook her head and met Nat's gaze again. "But you sitting here with me and with Jeff, honey that's not fixing to accomplish anything. Look at him, he's clearly off his game."
Ellie indicated over to Nick who was sitting on a bench with his hand on his forehead. He apparently had a sloppy first drive from what she gathered from the talk around her and he clearly seemed to be beating himself up over it. The sight made Nat's heart sink.
Ellie continued, "Last night he told me he kissed you. He also showed me that bear you got him. That was adorable by the way. But the one thing he said that stuck with me is that he wanted to talk to you but didn't want to pressure you. Go talk to him. Even if you're not gonna beg him to marry you on the spot, I think he just wants to know you're still his friend".
Nat heard these words, really heard them. Adding them to what Jeff had just told her, she realized what she wanted to do. He's my friend and I hurt his feelings. I have to go apologize. We'll worry about the rest later.
Without warning, Nat walked away from Ellie until she was right in front of Nick. When he looked up he smiled for a brief moment before returning to a neutral expression. He said nothing as he studied Nat's face, who was aware that she would have to say the first words.
Nat swallowed and said "Hey Nick. Mind if I talk to you for a second?"
Nick nodded and said "Yeah sure" but Nat could tell he was anxious to be speaking with her.
Nat looked into his beautiful brown eyes and began, "Nick... I'm so sorry for ditching you like that. That wasn't cool. I don't know why I panicked so hard but I should've stayed and talked to you. And helped you explain it to Ellie. I'm so so sorry for that." Nat sighed
Nick shook his head and Nat could see the relief on his face. "Nat... I appreciate it. But I'm the one in the wrong. I shouldn't have kissed you like that. I wasn't thinking straight, I was tired and your present was nice and I just... wasn't thinking. I'm the one who should be saying sorry."
Nat exhaled loudly and took a seat next to the man her lips were planted on less than 24 hours earlier. "Nick, don't be sorry. If I didn't want you to kiss me, I wouldn't have kissed you back".
At this, Nick's mouth turned into a smirk and Nat could feel his energy shift. Before letting him get too carried away, she quickly returned.
"But this is complicated. Way too complicated. We need to talk, but not right now. I just want you to know we're still cool." She did her best to give a convincing smile.
Nick returned it but his eyes trailed to Nat's chest. She had forgotten she was wearing a Pioneers jacket and Nick seemed to have noticed she wasn't sporting his jersey. She sighed and stood up while unzipping the jacket. Underneath was the red #97 on the white jersey Nick had gotten for her the week before.
Nick's smile tripled in size at this and Nat could tell he believed her. She smiled at her friend/not friend and the two turned their heads once they saw the Pioneers had scored a touchdown. Deon Hudson was in the endzone doing his iconic touchdown dance and Nick and Nat both gave a big cheer.
As Nick put his helmet back on, preparing to head back out, he looked at Nat and said "When do you want to talk again?"
Nat thought for a moment and said, "How about on Tuesday? We should both be off. We could go eat or something."
Nick smiled at her and replied, "Sounds like a plan."
Nick Bosa headed back out onto the field as a new man. He came alive in the next drive and had managed to get another sack. For the rest of the match, Nat watched as much as she could while still sticking to her responsibilities as a trainer, but there wasn't much to watch. The Pioneers were dominating their divisional rival and the match ended 28-0, with the Pioneers now having their 3rd straight win.
...
Nat entered the dimly lit steakhouse and followed the host into the backroom where she saw Nick Bosa seated in a navy blue collared shirt, waiting for her. Nat was wearing a bright pink blouse and black pants. It was a little more formal than Nat would've liked to dress at a dinner with Nick Bosa, but it reflected the business she was here to handle.
Not a date... just a meeting.
Nat pulled the chair across from Nick and took her seat. The handsome man smiled at her and Nat did everything she could to not melt at the sight. Nat could see a small scab on his forehead he must've gotten at some point during the match, but beyond that it was still the same face Nat had been looking at since she started her job a few weeks ago.
After placing their order, Nat decided to address the elephant in the room.
"Alright Bosa... we kissed. Let's talk about that."
Nick let out a small laugh, "Alright, not wasting time. I respect it."
Nat tried to stop the smile from forming on her face. "So... why'd you do it? How long have you felt this way?"
"I told you. I was really tired from the game and when I saw your present... Nobody else got me anything. Sure the team and staff sang me happy birthday and one of the players said he was going to take me to a basketball game, but your gift... It's dumb, but I like it. I immediately knew it was from you."
Nat allowed herself a small smile since her plan had worked. "Okay that makes sense... but it doesn't explain why you kissed me. There has to be more to it."
Nick glanced down as he slowly spoke again. "I think when I saw you wearing my jersey for the first time. That's when I wanted to kiss you."
Nat lost her battle against her tendency to blush. That had been a week ago. I can't believe he's been feeling like that for so long.
Nick then decided to take control of the conversation. "What about you? Why did you kiss me back... and how long have you been wanting to?"
Nat gave him a look. "Who said I've been wanting to?"
Nick laughed at this and gave her a knowing look. "I think you were the one who stuck your tongue out first," he teased.
Before she could turn any redder, Nat decided to take accountability. "Alright, alright. Truth be told, I kinda sorta had a crush on you since starting, but I swear it wasn't serious. I really did just want to be friends. But when you kissed me... well.. you smelled so nice and your arms were so strong and... quit acting like this is some shocking information. Every woman in the bay area wants to kiss you."
Nick laughed at this as the waiter brought their drinks.
"Normally they try to kiss Jeff first. I'm not used to it being the other way around."
"Well like I told you the first day, I didn't then, and I don't now have any feelings for Jeff Giordano."
"But you do have feelings for someone?"
Of course I have feelings for someone. This man is really going to make me say it.
"Nick... I do like you. I kissed you back and I don't regret it. But I need you to understand something. This job is everything to me. I took it over for Rafael Lopez, you know the tall guy that was here before me. He's my friend and I did this as a favor to him. If I do anything that would jeopardize this... well I can live with myself not having a job. But I can't live with doing that to him, I just can't."
"Okay and why are you telling me all this? It's not like you can get fired for dating me."
"Nick... Yes I can. Did you not hear about Jeff and his girlfriend? Ellie told me she used to be an intern with the social media team and they fired her for improper conduct. I can't afford to have that happen to me."
"Yeah but she was just an intern, you're a trainer. It's different."
"It's not different Nick. And even if it is, then what? We date? What if it doesn't work out? We hardly know each other."
"I know you enough to know I want to try this out with you. And you know me well enough to always have the right thing to say to me. Nat, say the right thing now. Say you'll go out with me. This can be our first date." Nick said with a grin.
Nat shook her head. "Nick, I'm sorry but it can't be. I'm not risking this. I don't care how nice you are or how good of a kisser, or anything else. I've worked too hard to get to where I am and I am not going to throw this away for you."
Whatever Nat said seemed to have struck a nerve. She watched Nick shift in his seat as he got more serious.
"You just said you liked me. What are you throwing away? I'm not going to let them fire you. I don't see why you don't want to just give it a chance."
Before Nat could reply she felt her phone vibrate. She pulled it out and saw "Stef" calling. I haven't thought about what to tell Stef. This sounds like a headache for another day.
Nat started, "Nick I don't know what power you think you have, but you are not my boss. Mr. Stoll is. Hell, even coach Callaghan is more my boss than you. I'm not going to risk this. I already risked a lot just coming out to San Francisco."
Nick shook his head, his previous joy seemingly gone. "Is this about your ex? Do you think I'd be like him?"
Nat's temper rose at this. "This has nothing to do with him. I don't even see why-" She was interrupted by her phone vibrating again.
Once more she saw "Stef" calling and once more she ignored the call. Whatever it is, it's going to have to wait. Sorry Stef.
The waiter brought over the dishes the two ordered. Nat had already lost track of how long they had been talking. She saw Nick begin to cut his steak and she figured she would say some more words before digging into the salmon she had ordered.
"Nick... I like you. And I think you're a great guy. But right now, my focus needs to be my job and yours needs to be football. This doesn't mean we can't talk or be friends, but for now I think it's best we just keep our relationship how it was and we keep getting to know each other. As friends. Just friends."
Nick shot her a serious look. He licked his lips before he said,
"What I want from you I can't get if you're just my friend."
Nat couldn't help but shiver at the way he delivered that. Her mouth had suddenly gone dry and Nat became painfully aware of when the last time she had sex was. She would never admit it, but she wanted the exact same thing from Nick, and her imagination was only getting her so far. She spent more than one night over this past week imagining exactly what had happened in her office, but imagined what would've happened if Ellie hadn't interrupted.
She imagined it happening in her office. She imagined it happening in the locker room. She imagined it in his car, in her car, at the party. But most frequent of all, she imagined it in her room. She imagined his toned body over hers, her hands clawing at his back as she felt his beard brush over her face, kissing every single inch of it. She imagined feeling him in between her legs, knowing she had bagged the 3rd hottest NFA player according to a bunch of guys on a podcast. She couldn't stop imagining it, and she knew right then that she was full of hot air.
What I want from you Nick, I can't get if you're just my friend either.
Before Nat could speak, she felt two vibrations from her phone. She looked down once more and saw a message from Stef:
Stef: Natalia Casillas, you've got some NERVE. You get one hour to answer me and EXPLAIN
Nat saw the second message was a link to an article. The article was from the website Nat followed on Instagram, the one that had broken the news of Dustin Haggard's engagement. As the article finished loading, the headline had caught Nat completely off guard.
"Pioneers QB Jeff Giordano DUMPS girlfriend for new athletic trainer romance"
Nat tried to read the article, but her nerves began to make her lose focus. She settled for skimming it and trying to piece together the story that was being sold to readers.
Jeff Giordano broke up with his girlfriend this past week as confirmed by a post she made on Instagram.
Nat scrolled down and saw a rough timeline of when Jeff met his new flame and how their relationship blossomed. She watched in horror as the picture from Deon's party of her and Jeff close to each other was listed as exhibit A. Then she scrolled and saw a picture of Nat sitting at the Starbucks across from Jeff. His eyes were obscured, but his dimples were hard to mistake. And Nat's face was in clear view. Then came a picture from this past game against the Sparrowhawks. It was of Nat, sitting awfully close to Jeff, looking nervous as he stared into her eyes. According to this journalist, he had cracked the code of the woman who stole Jeff away from his ex-girlfriend, and he had an inside source from the team who confirmed the relationship.
Nat looked up and saw Nick lost in his steak. She had heard this was his favorite restaurant and judging by how he was eating, she could see that was one rumor that was true. She stared at the man before her, thinking solely about how he was the guy she wanted. He was the guy she wanted to be caught out in public with, not in a secluded corner of a dark restaurant. He was the guy she wanted in her pictures. Nat looked at Nick Bosa and all she could think was how he was the guy she wanted to be dating.
But no. It turns out I'm dating the quarterback of the San Francisco Pioneers.