"Every heart has a pain, the only way of expressing it is different. Some hide it in their eyes while the brilliant hide it in their smiles"
-Anonymous
After feeding Eunwoo, the strawberry cheesecake I put him to sleep. He was so happy after eating the cake, he told me about his wishes and places he wanted to visit, and I promised him to fulfill his every desire.
Covering Eunwoo properly with covers and switching off the lights I sat on the couch located in the corner of the room. I sighed and rested my back and closed my eyes, annoyingly I opened my eyes cause there was no chance that I could sleep right now, I look over Eunwoo's delicate figure lying on the bed. I'm the reason he's here like this, I could have done much better so would born healthy, everything is my fault.
Soon-Jae, my stepdad, was right, I bring bad luck to the people who love me, who care for me...I took a deep breath more like controlling myself. I pull out my phone and start reading some news, I don't want to be weak and broke down and all, I can't let that thoughts control me.
TIME SKIP
I closed the news I was reading and checked the time it was 3 in the morning, I stand up and walked towards the window, I look outside, it was dark just a few lights were on and there was no sign of a single person there. I lone tear escaped from my eye as those thoughts again start coming back at the back of my head, and in no time my body starts to shiver lightly, tears were about to spill out from my eyes and my breathing becomes shaky, I knew I'm about to break down but I have to control myself, I can't be vulnerable not here, not in front of Eunwoo.
After calming myself I sat back on the couch staring into nothingness and soon the sun rise and the clock hit eight in the morning. After washing my face I checked on Eunwoo who is still sleeping, soon his nanny arrived I bowed to her and then went to see the doctor.
Taking a deep I entered the doctor's office, he passed me a smile and gestured for me to take a seat. I cleared my throat and spoke,
"I want to take him home today"
He nodded and spoke,
"You can but take extra care of his surroundings and food too, don't stress him too much"
I nodded and asked,
"Don't we have other options?"
He frowned but soon understood and spoke,
"I'm sorry to say but we don't"
I sighed and asked,
"Can we try through a test tube or something?"
He frowned and spoke,
"For that, you can consult other doctors, here she's my friend and a gynecologist here"
He handed me a visiting card, I took it and thanked him, and soon went to the reception.
After completing all the formalities and paying the bill I took an appointment, luckily I got one which is in five minutes cause it was still early in the morning. After taking a deep breath I entered the room and saw a girl in her mid-twenties passing me a smile, I bowed to her and took a seat.
She turn towards me and said,
"Hi there"
"What's the problem, Mrs Kim?"
"I want to have a test tube baby"
"May I know the reason?"
"Just relationship problems"
"Okay, do you have any child before?"
"Yeah, I gave birth to twins six years ago, a daughter and a son, but my son is unhealthy"
"No problem that usually happens, so is it because of umbilical blood?"
I nodded.
"Okay, so we have to run some tests on you and your husband, where is he?"
"He'll come later"
She nodded understandingly and asked,
"Do you have any disorder or disease?"
"Sometimes I get panic attacks but I'm on medications nowadays"
She raised her brows and spoke,
"Then it's going to be hard"
I look at her in disbelief, she cleared her throat and explained,
"See there is a 90% chance of a positive result for a healthy couple but as you have issues so the chances reduce"
"But still I want to try it for once"
She nodded and said,
"Well, okay but need to run some blood tests"
I agreed, and a nurse came and took my blood sample. The doctor wrote something on the paper and handed it to me saying,
"Your husband can stop by in the evening and reports will be out tomorrow"
"And to conceive a child your body seems to be weak I prefer you to take the vitamins I prescribed, it might help"
I thanked her and leave from there.
As I entered the room I saw Jungkook and Eunwoo talking to each other, they both look at me with a smile to which I smiled back weakly and spoke,
"We can head back home now"
Eunwoo smiled brightly while Jungkook nodded, I faced the nanny and spoke,
"Just keep his stuff in the car, you can take a day off"
She bowed and thanked me, and went to pack Eunwoo's stuff, she's around the age of my mother but she takes care of Eunwoo so well, although I don't call her so often just during the days he has to spend in the hospital. Jungkook and a nurse helped to put Eunwoo safely in the backseat of Jungkook's car, I sat in the front seat while Jungkook drove.
Eunwoo kept admiring the view outside while I just closed my eyes and rested my back, Jungkook noticed that and while driving asked,
"Didn't sleep last night?"
I hummed, he frowned and asked,
"What about pills?"
"I finished them last week and Jimin won't give me more until next week"
Jimin is my psychiatrist and a very good friend, he knows everything about my past and present too. He cares for me as a friend and also I see him every other day for my therapy, but I couldn't this week because of back-to-back meetings and Eunwoo's health. I'm sure he is going to call me today to scold me but I don't wanna go there because it all seems useless to me.
Jungkook sighed and told me,
"He called me in the morning asking for you"
I look at him amusingly and asked,
"Was he mad at me?"
"He was indeed and asked me to tell you that he is going to visit you today."
I sighed while messaging my head and mumbled inaudible curses. Jungkook chuckled and spoke,
"I dropped Yuri at school and will bring her back too"
I smiled looking at him and spoke,
"Thank you so much, Kook"
He smiled and spoke,
"Mention not"
"Ah, Sara dropped some documents earlier"
I nodded and closed my eyes, he turn off the music and drove silently.
Soon we reached my apartment, Jungkook drove into the parking lot and spoke,
"I think Grandma is here"
I look outside and saw a black car similar to Grandma's and asked,
"Did you tell her?"
He shook his head in denial, I sighed and mumbled,
"Let's go"
Jungkook nodded and get into the backseat to get Eunwoo in his arms, I grabbed his stuff from the trunk. Eunwoo smiled brightly and spoke,
"Home sweet home"
We both chuckled and entered the elevator, I pressed my floor number and stood beside Jungkook. Eunwoo wrapped his arms around Jungkook's neck, Kook patted his back and spoke,
"You can sleep"
Eunwoo smiled sleepily and rested his head on Jungkook's shoulder. Soon the elevator dinged representing my floor number, I walked out and saw Jimin standing there, I smiled nervously and spoke,
"Oh you are here"
He rolled his eyes obviously at me, he scoffed and spoke,
"Yeah I was wondering what is more important than your health that kept you busy for the whole damn week"
I scratched my forehead embarrassed and spoke,
"I'm sorry"
"Yes, you should be"
Jungkook chuckled and spoke,
"Hyung, let her go this time"
Jimin was still glaring at me, I hate to but I showed him puppy eyes, he took a deep breath controlling his anger, and spoke,
"Yeah but only this time"
I smiled nervously and spoke,
"Thank you"
Jimin's eyes traveled to Eunwoo sleeping peacefully in Jungkook's embrace, he sighed and asked,
"How's he doing?"
"He's okay for now"
"But the doctor asked me to plan for another kid, for the umbilical cord and all..."
Jimin worriedly look over me, I rolled my eyes and said,
"I'm trying to figure out alternatives"
He worriedly look over me but didn't say anything, he just nodded instead. I smiled and said,
"Let's go, I'm feeling hungry"
They both chuckled and followed me behind while I walked toward my apartment. I frowned as I saw my apartment's door wide open with some guards standing outside.
I look back at Jungkook and Jimin while they both show me an equally confused face, I look back and entered the apartment to see Grandma, Jennie, Dad, and him...
My whole body froze...
---
"Let's go, I'm hungry"
After almost six years I heard her voice, and surprisingly I still remember it. Grandma dragged all of us here this morning to take her back with us to the mansion, I objected but Grandma shut me up, I don't want her to leave her house and live with me just for the sake of my family, she has already done enough for us, she gave up on her independent, her dream life because of us.
Soon we heard footsteps and I saw her, Jungkook with a baby in his embrace and a blonde guy, my eyes stopped at her...She was wearing a black turtleneck with black pants and a black blazer hanging over her left arm, she was holding I guess, baby stuff in her right arm. My eyes met hers and she froze, for some unknown reason my heart also skipped a beat, she was looking more mature than earlier, I mean obviously, she was the mother now, but her face was looking more sophisticated.
Her brown orbs were the same, hiding pain, struggle, and loneliness behind them, I don't know why but whenever I look into her eyes I always felt she was in pain, her black hair was much grown now, it reached up to her lower waist, while she gained some curves for sure, she was so thin back than, she's now too but much better than before.
After observing her I look back into her eyes, they were glossy, and my heartbeat raced I felt uneasy. She was not happy at all after seeing me I can tell by the look on her face, suddenly I felt guilty for making her sad, that blonde guy almost back-hugged her while caressing her arms and whispering something into her ears... was he her lover? her breathing become shallow as that guy tried his best to calm her down, her eyes still on me.
I was about to say something but Dad spoke,
"Hello Y/n"
She broke eye contact, seems like she came out of her thoughts, she smiled lightly, surely a fake one, and bowed to everyone present there. Grandma was about to speak but without hearing anyone or speaking anything she rushed towards a room and locked her up inside. Grandma raised her brows and asked that blonde guy,
"What happened to her?"
He bowed to her and worriedly spoke,
"I'll check up on her"
We all sat back on the couch as Grandma still wants to meet her, that guy brought a spare key from somewhere in the house and entered the room, are they that much close? it seems like he knows this house very well. Jungkook awkwardly cleared his throat and spoke while indicating to the baby in his embrace,
"Let me put him to bed"
Dad nodded and left from there. I sighed and rested my back on the couch, I glance at my watch it was 10 a.m already, Sunmi already texted me multiple times and wanted me to video call her, but for that, I have to get out of there as soon as possible, I exhaled heavily as my phone vibrated for the 10th time since I came here, I know it was Sunmi.
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I'll post on alternate days <3
Any thoughts?!