Zero: Aight, just gotta get this in place. Since I myself have made an appearance, Narrator-san, would you do the honours~?
Hm... It's pretty much my "Day Job". Hai Hai, Do whatever you please.
Zero: Yosh! Today iiiiiiiis- (was) Valentine's Day!!!...
Is there anything special about today? I feel as though this day has lost its significance if it even had any at all.
Zero: I don't need sass from the narrator. Please. Anyway! I'm going around the entire Mansion, checking out what all the folks are doing for Valentine's! Isn't that fun?
Yes... Sounds "fun".
Zero: Indeed. We have our first guest with us here! (Y/N) No chill (L/N) the Dragonoid who wound up here after a tough battle with a certain creepy - but powerful - stalker!
(Y/N): Hi, who are you supposed to be again? ;-;...
Zero: Who knows? Bring some more enthusiasm brother! It's Valentine's Day!
(Y/N): Valentine's Day huh?... So it's that time of the year already?...
Zero: Umu. It is, so, what do you do each year on Valentine's ~?
(Y/N):.... I hide...
Zero: Hide? Do tell us more...
(Y/N): I need to start off by asking... When exactly does this take place? Last I remember, I was taking a—
Zero: Ah... Starting off today with a 4th wall break. We can't have that Kolzreid-kun. Think of this as the Chaos & Harmony version of Carnival Phantasm.
(Y/N): Which means?
Zero: It doesn't matter!! Be as crazy and inconsistent as you want! This is all for my own— I mean for everyone's amusement! And thus, this has no exact placement in the timeline!
(Y/N): Hm is that so?... Well, whatever you say, I'm off to find a door that will lead outside and not to that blasted library, See ya!
Zero: Hold on- You didn't tell me-... And he's gone... Well fuck. Let's go find out the next victim.
Seems most of the residents are in the Kitchen.
And so the intruder of the house decided to take a stroll into the Kitchen of the mansion. This can only end well...
——————————————
Zero: Hellooo! Me again! This time, I'm in the kitchen, and with me are a bunch of girls from the cast, We have the Greater Spirit Quinella, The Lesser Spirit, Ayaka, Ram, and Emilia...
Aren't you forgetting someone?...
Zero: Am I?... Oh shit! Yes, And of course, last but not least, one of the best girls in this franchise! Rem!!!! Let's see if we can get a close-up ~!
He really went there Hm? I can only imagine the reaction that'll get.
Zero: For starters! Hello there, Little Miss Ayaka~!
Ayaka: Hm?... Who are you?
Zero: I'm a friend of your father! Nice to meet you, I'm Zero! Feel free to call me uncle.
He sticks out a hand and gives her a smile, and she responds by returning the gesture.
Ayaka: Okay then, Uncle!
Zero: Good girl, Ahh, but if anyone says these words to you while offering some candy, attack them with extreme prejudice!
Ayaka: Hm?
Zero: Alright then, can you tell me what you're doing today, Little miss?
Ayaka: Hai! I'm making some Valentines chocolate with Quinella-sama!
Zero: Hou Hou... Now that you mention it, everyone else seems to be doing the same thing. So, Greater Spirit-san, what's going in the Chocolate?
Quinella: Hm?... Oh, just some ingredients I picked out, especially for (Y/N)-kun~ As well as all the love I have for him.
Zero: Sweet... But some of these plants look... Oddly familiar...
Quinella: That's your imagination (^_^)...
Zero: You sure? Cause If I recall correctly, these plants can also be used to make an ap—
Quinella: Now now, Ayaka-chan, time to pour the Chocolate mix~
Ayaka: Hai!!
She changed the subject...
Zero: Indeed she did... We'll let young (Y/N) deal with that in his own time.
You can hardly call him young.
Zero: He is but a child in my eyes. Yosh! Next person! Blue Haired Oni, Rem-chan!
Rem: H-Hai?! You called?
The Blue Haired Oni that Zero definitely did not forget, jumped a little, clearly startled a little.
Zero: Didn't mean to scare ya, seems like you're wholly dedicated to your craft! I assume you're also making chocolate for a special someone?
A blush found its way to her cheeks, as did a small smile.
Rem: Yes... I am making sure to follow the instructions to a T, in order to ensure I can give Subaru-kun the best valentines day chocolate!
Zero: Hm... I'm wondering... Instructions? Have you ever made Chocolate before?
Rem: No, this is my first time, so I am nervous about how it will turn out, but, just like Quinella-san, I'm going to dedicate all of my love to making it, so I'm hopeful... No, I'm sure it will turn out all right!
Zero: Interesting... Where did you guys even get the ingredients to make these Chocolates anyway?
Rem: Hm... Subaru-kun was the one to give us all the instructions, as well as the ingredients.
Ram: But those "instructions" could hardly be called instructions, Barusu brought us doddles that he called "Japanese".
Zero: Well that was dumb of him... Hell, where did he even get those ingredients? I'll ask him later. Soooo! Ms Ram! Who are you making that ch- Yeah who am I kidding, we all know she's making them for the clow-
Ram: Please refrain from saying any more, I don't need a pest like you disrupting my concentration.
Zero: Ahh, she wouldn't be Ram without a verbal lashing here or there. Well, if you're making them for who I think you're making them for, make sure to add some salt as well.
Ram: Shoo, shoo. Go away and go do something productive you procrastinator
She waved him away as she worked.
Zero: I don't know why, but that felt like a personal attack for some reason. Moving on! To our lovely Emilia-tan!
Emilia: Ah!?
Zero enthusiastically wrapped an arm around the half-elf and held up a selfie stick with a Go-Pro attached to the end.
Zero: Hai, selfie done, that was a good reaction, Emilia-tan.
Emilia: Mou, you're (Y/N)-kun's friend, right? You startled me...
Zero: That was the goal. Anyway, let's get to the question of the day before I'm suspected of NTR.
Emilia: NTR? What is that?
Zero: Ask Subaru in a couple of years.
Emilia: Hm?
Zero: Sooo, Emilia, I see you're also making some chocolate, who's the lucky man?
Emilia: Ah, this batch of Chocolates is for Puck and Subaru-
Zero: Hehehe, setting aside Puck, you're making some for Subaru eh? Someone's bound to be happy.
Emilia: -I hope there are enough ingredients to make some for Quinella-san, Ayaka-chan and (Y/N)-kun-
Zero: Wait what?
Emilia: -As well as Rem and Ram and Bea-
Zero: Hold on hold on. Are you giving Chocolates to everyone?
Emilia: Yes, Subaru said that uhh... Valentine's chocolate... can be given to people you cherish, so if that's the case. I want to make chocolate for all of the people I care about to show my appreciation for them. Subaru and (Y/N) have done a lot for me since we met, so I want to show them just how much their friendship means to me.
Zero: Friendship huh? I have a feeling that these chocolates will cause some emotional damage today 🗿.
Emilia: Ah! That's right! Zero-san, I should make you some Chocolates as well!
Zero: Ahahaha... It's alright, it's the thought that counts. Besides, I'm not sure how much was brought in, but you're planning on making quite a lot of Chocolates as it is.
Zero waved with a sweatdrop while slowly backing away.
Zero: Well, you ladies keep at it. I'm off to find the rest of the cast!
And with that, Zero promptly departed from the kitchen.
Ram:... By the way... Just who was that irritatingly upbeat man?
Rem: Apparently, he's a friend that (Y/N)-kun made from the Capital. He has so much enthusiasm and vigour, he kind of reminds me of Subaru-kun.
Ram: He's as intolerable as well (ㆆ_ㆆ)
Ayaka: Uncle seems like fun!
——————————————
Zero: Hmmm, and now to find that scoundrel who loves to die when he is killed.
Know where to look?
Zero: He's probably wherever (Y/N)'s at, and (Y/N) will be wherever Beako is at!
How do you figure?
Zero: Every door he opens leads to the library. It can sometimes take about 10-15 tries before he can actually get to where he wants to go
You should really stop that...
Zero: I can't help it Wifey, I just wanted to screw with him at first, but now it's become something of a running gag that I have no desire to get rid of. Y'know, just how a certain somebody has a sense of direction comparable to Zoro.
Ahh... That one.
Zero: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, as the Almighty creator of Multiverses, I deem that the first door I pick will lead right toooo~
He placed his hand on a handle and swung open a door, inside, as he had expected, was an annoyed Beatrice and (Y/N) reading books, and a seemingly frantic Subaru pacing back and forth.
Zero: Yup. Knew it.
Beatrice: Who are you, and how did you find your way into the library, I suppose?
She glared at Zero while raising her hand.
Zero: Now now, Beako, no need to fret. I'm just a friend of (Y/N)'s passing by.
Beatrice immediately looked towards (Y/N), who had a brow raised.
Beatrice: So Betty's personal space has just become a common room where you can invite your friends to be irritating, I suppose?!
(Y/N): Don't look at me! I don't even know this guy!
Zero: Nah Nah, you met me at the Capital, we all had such a good time, you introduced me to the clown, I became acquainted with everyone, I can come and go as I please!
(Y/N): Stop the cap! I don't think he would just allow some random stranger whom I've never met to come and go from the mansion, not with the royal selection bullshit going on.
Zero: Oh, speak of the Devil, howzit goin', Di- I mean, Ros-chi!
To everyone's confusion, Roswaal just happened to be walking down that very hallway and walked into the library after seeing Zero wave at him.
Roswaal🤡: Oyaaaaaa? If it isn't Zero-kuuuuuuun, you should have told me you were visitiiiing.
Subaru stopped pacing and tilted his head.
Subaru: Hold on... Ros-chi, do you actually know this person?
Roswaal🤡: My My, have you alreaaaady forgotten, Subaru-kun? You, as well as (Y/N)-kun iiiintroduced him to me after meeeeeting him in the Capital a few weeks back.
(Y/N): Why the hell don't I have any recollection of this?
Zero: Mandela Effect.
Subaru: Really?... I did hear about that... So this is what it feels like huh?... Well, if Ros-chi vouches for you, guess we did meet you.
Zero: *That was too easy...*
(Y/N): I won't bother questioning it, if you ain't hostile, I don't really care.
Roswaal🤡: While I'd love to catch up, I do have some work I need to be getting to, have a looooovely day.
He gave a curt nod before sauntering off. Zero closed the door behind him and took a seat.
Subaru: Catch up? Just how close are you two?
Zero: Eww, close? Never say that again, that guy's nasty.
Beatrice: You can say that again, I suppose.
Beatrice spoke without lifting her head away from her book, turning a page after a few seconds.
Subaru: So anyway, what brings you here?
Zero: Ah right, almost forgot, I came to ask about the chocolate ingredients you gave to the girls.
(Y/N): What? There's chocolate in this world?
Subaru: Ahh, those, yeah, that was a strange occurrence. What about them?
Zero: Just where did you get them?
Subaru: I was about to head outside when I saw a bag with a note attached. The note was written in Japanese as well, which made it even weirder.
(Y/n): Wait wait wait... You saw a note written in Japanese, and assumed that it was okay to take a random bag left at the front of the door without caution?!
Beatrice: Betty finds the notion that he would do that extremely believable, in fact.
Subaru: Okay, thinking back, it does sound like a stupid thing to do... But... Dam, I was just caught up in my excitement about the chocolate that I had to give it to the girls. It just so happened to be valentines as well... So... Uh... Hehe...
Subaru scratched the back of his head with a sweatdrop, while (Y/N) poker-faced.
(Y/N): Lemme guess, you told those girls about valentines, in the hope that Emilia would make you some chocolate, right?
Subaru: Maksaka!! I didn't even say anything!!
Zero/(Y/N): 🗿🗿🗿
Zero: It's written all over your face bro... But uh... Well... That plan of yours... Hahaha...
Subaru: Ah that's right! You said you were in the Kitchen, right? Tell me! What was Emilia doing?!
(Y/N): Dumbass was pacing around the library with anxiety. Because Emilia is... Well, Emilia, he wasn't sure if he'd get a Chocolate...
Subaru: Again? I didn't even tell you-
Beatrice: Oh please, it's not hard to tell what a simpleton like you would be worried about, I suppose.
(Y/N): What she said ;-;
Subaru: 🗿
Zero: Well... She's definitely making Chocolate... I guess...
Subaru: And?! And?! Did she say anything about how she wants to use her Chocolate to convey her heartfelt feelings for me?!
Zero: This dude really is down bad... I'm not one to talk, but goddam. Anyway, slow your role, you do realise that this is Emilia we're talking about here?
Subaru: Yeah, what about her?
Zero: Que retrasado...
Subaru: Wait a second... You speak Spanish? You're also-
Zero: Emilia has a surprise waiting for you.
Subaru: Seriously? YOOOSHHH!!!!
Beatrice: Keep it down!!! Better yet, get out, I suppose!!!
She raised her hand and ejected Subaru out of the forbidden Library.
There was silence for a few moments before Zero continued speaking as though nothing had happened.
Zero: So anyway, what are you in for?
(Y/N): I was trying to go outside, but I couldn't so I relented and stayed in the library. It's a good hiding spot anyway.
Zero: Heh, you're that scared of your Spirit wife?
(Y/N): She ain't my wife. Also, I don't wanna hear any ridicule! Have you been nearly molested more than twenty times?
Zero deadpanned.
Zero: Sí... Más veces de las que te imaginas.
(Y/N): So, that's that. I'm staying here till the day's over... Even then... I might need to stay for a few more days after that.
Beatrice: Betty doesn't remember giving consent for you to stay that long, I suppose.
(Y/N): I've got the clowns consent （*゜ー゜*）
Beatrice: Tch.
Zero: Chin up, Beako, here, have some chocolate.
Beatrice: Don't call me B- What is this, I suppose?
She eyed the suspicious, long, brown thing in Zero's hand.
Zero: Twix, you could use some.
(Y/N): Wait... How did you get Twi-
He placed the bar in Beatrice's hands and then stood up to stretch.
Beatrice: Why should Betty eat anything that you give her, In fact?
Zero: Because if you don't, I'm going to have to shove that bar down your throat, and you will enjoy it.
(Y/N): Ayo??? 🤨
Beatrice stared at Zero blankly, moments later, she hopped off of her seat and held up her hand.
Seconds after, Zero was blown out of the library.
Zero: YEEEEEEET!!!!
Right after that, the doors were slammed shut.
(Y/N): 🗿🗿🗿 The hell is going on today?
Beatrice:.... Hm... It's not bad for a snack...
(Y/N): Huh? Do I hear little Beatrice enjoying her Twix bar~
Beatrice twitched and spun her head around with a frown.
Beatrice: Be quiet, I suppose!
(Y/N): Hai Hai.
The doors to the forbidden library were then knocked on, and soon after, they were opened.
Beatrice: Grrr, Agagin? Why do all of you have to be such a pain in Betty's-
As she was getting ready to blow away the next person that came in, she froze. The person standing there was none other than...
Zero: BOOM! The Witch of Greed! Echidna!!
(Y/N): Wait... What?!
Beatrice was paralysed. Too many thoughts were racing through her mind for her to be able to think clearly. The first words that came out of her mouth were.
Beatrice: H-How...?
Echidna: Ara, Beatrice, I see you are still holed up in the library.
Beatrice: K-Kaa-sama....!
(Y/N): There is something seriously wrong... I can feel it...
Zero: Who doesn't love a good continuity error here and there, am I right? Especially when it means you can get fanservice like this~! Hai! Minna-san! Yes, I'm talking to all of you reading right now! This is my gift to you all, I present to yoooou! Echidna with Glasses!!!!
(Y/N) looked around with a brow raised, and then started scratching his head, unsure of where Zero was looking.
Beatrice: Kaa-sama... Betty... Betty is-
Zero: Ah Ah, Beatrice. Sorry to disappoint you, buuuut, this isn't the Echidna you know.
Beatrice: Huh?
Zero: This isn't Echidna at all. Plot twist! This is Echidna with Glasses.
(Y/N): What? (ㆆ_ㆆ)
Echidna sighed before speaking.
Echidna: It's as he says, I am not Echidna, I am Echidna with Glasses.
(Y/N): That's literally the same...
Zero: No one asked for your input. Ever wonder how there are so many Saber faces in the Nasuverse? This follows the same logic! You know... I guess since you're you're younger... I should be calling you Echidna Lily, huh?... Nope, Echidna with Glasses it is. Anyway, the three of us came here for only one reason.
(Y/N): The "three" of us????
Zero: Yeah... The three of us...
Echidna: You were pestering me about this over and over, are you really going to back out at the last second?
Echidna with Glasses turned her head back at the open door, as did Zero, prompting everyone else to do that same.
A few moments of silence went by, but then...
Zero: C'mon, I don't think I've known you to be this weak...
Suddenly, a figure floated around the corner and entered the room, and now (Y/N) was the one who's jaw unhinged itself and fell to the ground.
???: I am not weak... I am actually very strong... Because I am the sea of the beginning, and the Beast of Chaos... But... I guess I can only be called a little strong... In this state...
(Y/N): (O.O)... A....
Zero: SURPRISE! Another guest appearance this chapter! This chapter is turning out to be quite something, am I right? Eh? Eh? Keep this momentum, Okaa-san!
The guest shy guest gave a wry smile and hovered forward, holding her hands out.
???: Are you surprised, Kolzreid? Okaa-san has come to visit you.
(Y/N): T-Tia... Mat...?
Zero: Tsk Tsk, technically, this is Chibi Tiamat... Hmm... Mini-Mom, Larva Tia? Any works. In any case, it's not Tiamat, sorry to disappoint, just like how this ain't Echidna, but Echidna with glasses! Soo, Mini-Mom, Spectacled Echidna! Go give your children hugs while I get it all on my Go Pro!
Tiamat: Kolzreid, come and hug Okaa-san!
(Y/N) clenched his fist and held it in front of his mouth.
(Y/N): Now? In front of the Bastard that's clearly eating up my embarrassment?
Tiamat: There is no need to be worried. Zero, helped me so I can meet you, in the Physical realm.
She moved forward and elevated herself to his height, then she took his head and began to hug it, patting the top of his head.
Tiamat: Okaa-san, has longest to be able to meet you outside... And feel your warmth.
Echidna: Good for her, all that reluctance and timidity is finally gone.
Zero: Heh, I take it you feel for them~?
Echidna: Nothing of the sort. I'm glad for my own mental health. When I see her in this form, I almost forget about the clingy, whiny and yet reclusive Goddess that invaded my castle of dreams. For now, I won't have to put up with her.
Zero: Yeah yeah. Anyway, let's let them have their moment. Cause it seems our little Beako has cold feet. C'mon, step right up, give your Spectacled Mother a hug!
Beatrice also had her fist clenched. One could easily tell that there were tears welling up in her eyes.
But then she felt something behind her.
Someone was giving her a push.
Tiamat: Beatrice... Don't be... Afraid...
She ushered her forward, closer and closer, Beatrice gulped, until there was no more distance between her and her mother.
Zero: Don't be a stick in the mud.
Zero took the spectacled Echidna's arms and moved them around Beatrice, moments later, Beatrice's arms also moved up to embrace her.
She buried her face and allowed her tears to fall freely.
Beatrice: Kaa-sama... Betty... Betty missed you...
Echidna, although expressionless, moved one of her arms and placed it on Beatrice's head.
Zero: There we go... I sure do love wholesome scenes!!
(Y/N):... Just... Who the hell are you?... Some sort of God?
Zero: I choose not to see myself that way... Although I suppose that's my occupation?... Kind of?... This is the second Set. I'm just a visitor from the 4th, don't pay my background any mind! Just live in the moment, things like these opportunities like these are rare.
(Y/N): I didn't get most of that...
Tiamat: Zero, is a visitor... From Outside.
(Y/N): Outside?
Tiamat: He's a good boy.
She hovered over to him and began to pat his head.
(Y/N): Is it just me... Or does Mother feel... Different somehow? And I'm not just talking about her appearance...
Echidna: Other than the fact that she is speaking in a language we can all understand, yes, there has been a change, take it from one who has to put up with her all the time.
Tiamat smiled.
Tiamat: Echidna-chan is an earnest girl.
Echidna: I'd hardly call myself "earnest" but I know better than to
get into it with you...
She pokerfaced and sighed, not reacting once Tiamat had hovered over to her and proceeded to pat her on the head.
Tiamat: Yosh Yosh...
Subaru: Dam! It took me ages to find this place again, it seems the g-
Subaru walked through the open door and then froze.
Subaru:... Ahh... More... Uninvited Guests?...
Echidna: Even someone like me can tell how poor your timing is.
Zero: That's just the plot for you. This is called a short, so I suppose it's time to get things moving along. Let's go get moving and receive some chocolates!!
——————————————
The fireplace was lit, and Zero, along with a few others were standing around it.
Zero: Yosh! Let's begin with the "festivities"! Who's first?
(Y/N): You're way too excited for this...
Zero: I have a right to be. I'm the one who left those ch- I mean, I'm the one who's here visiting, I deserve a show, we all do!
(Y/N): Who's "We"?
Ayaka:.... Um......
Little Ayaka was busy working up her courage.
Ayaka:... Ah... Papa!
(Y/N): Hm?
Ayaka:... Um... Here!!
She closed her eyes tightly shut and held up a chocolate bar that was wrapped.
Ayaka: I-I worked hard to make these chocolates for you... Please accept them!!
(Y/N) blinked and then chuckled, he placed a hand on Ayaka's head and took the chocolate.
(Y/N): Sure. I'll take it.
He unwrapped the chocolate, and then took a bite out of it, Ayaka watched with a nervous sweat as (Y/N) hummed.
(Y/N): HmmmMMMMMMmmmm.
Ayaka:... Was it... Good?
(Y/N): Good?... Nah, this was delicious. I don't remember the last time even ate Chocolate... It's been so long. Thanks, Ayaka-chan.
He knelt to her height and continued to pat her head, making a smile appear on her face.
Ayaka: So Papa liked it?! I'm happy!!
Tiamat: Kolzreid!
(Y/N): Eeek-
Subaru: Did you just go "Eek"?!
(Y/N): No (~_~).
Tiamat, as well as Echidna and Beatrice, had entered the room, noticing her presence, (Y/N) gave a wry smile and turned.
(Y/N): Haha... Hi, Okaa-san...
Tiamat: You wandered off too fast. Please don't do that again, I was worried that something may have happened.
Subaru: No need to worry miss, not like anything could happen to us here. This mansion is pretty safe...
Zero: (•_•)
(Y/N): (•_•)
Ayaka: ❓
Subaru:... Yeah... I realised it when I said it ;-;...
Tiamat: Ah... Who is the little one you're trying to hide behind you.
(Y/N): I'm not trying to hide anyone ( *_*)
Zero: He say's as he makes hand gestures for Ayaka to dematerialise.
Tiamat peeked over (Y/N)'s shoulder and locked eyes with Ayaka, who tilted her head.
A few moments passed, but then Tiamat smiled.
Tiamat: Ah, Kolzreid, you've given Okaa-san another grandchild!
(Y/N)/Subaru: Another?!
Zero: Well shit, that wasn't supposed to known for a while.
(Y/N): I think she's mistaken... Unless someone did something to me when I was unconscious 0_0... Ahh, that would make too much sense. Hey, Hey, Kaa-san, elaborate please!
Subaru: Yeah... What was I expecting... a hundred years old and still a Virgin? Ha, yeah right ;-;
(Y/N): I am a Virgin... I think... Goddam it...
Subaru: Also, call me a late reactor... But you just called her "Mother" right?
(Y/N): You really are a late reactor ;-;
Subaru:... So she's your mom?... Not what I initially imagined, that's for sure.
(Y/N): I'm not gonna ask. And this isn't her original appearance... Actually, I really am curious as to why she looks like this...
Subaru: Also... Who is that woman with Beatrice?
(Y/N): Huh?... Hm... Did you not meet her in the graveyard?
Subaru: What graveyard?
Zero: Haha, fun. You all come from different points of the Time Axis.
Subaru: Huh?
(Y/N): 👁️👄👁️
Zero: You're Arc 4 (Y/N), he's Arc 3 post whale fight Subaru.
Subaru: The way you say that makes it sound like we're in some kind of story or something.
Zero: Nah, I just like to see things in that way, it's fun. I mean think about everything you've done, this isn't your typical Isekai plot, but there are some similarities.
Subaru:... Well, that much is true. Never would've imagined coming to a place like this until it happened.
Zero took a sip out of a glass, rewarding himself for masterfully avoiding a character gaining self-awareness.
Tiamat: What is your name?
Ayaka: Papa named me Ayaka.
Tiamat: Ayaka-chan, I am your Papa's Mother, so that makes me your Grandmother.
Ayaka: I have a Grandmother?
Tiamat: Hai! Make sure to be a good girl so you don't trouble your Papa.
Ayaka: Hai!
Tiamat: I can tell, you're a good girl as well.
She pat Ayaka's head, as she did so, Ayaka's eyes changed colour, becoming red and two white X marks appearing over them.
(Y/N): Well isn't that something...
Tiamat: That is proof of her relation to me through you. Make sure to take good care of her, "Otou-san".
(Y/N): Ryoukai... "Obaa-san".
Tiamat: Kolzreid, in life. Finding a good partner is very important, do you have a wife? If so, I want to see them. I will eliminate all the unworthy ones!
(Y/N)'s sweatdrop and he waved.
(Y/N): I'm too young for that.
Subaru: Dude... You're over a hundred ;-;
Tiamat: Kolzreid, Okaa-san is surprised. I can sense something... Familiar... About my Granddaughter, are you sure, you don't have a wife?
(Y/N): You know... I'd appreciate it if the topic were changed over to something else 😄.
Quinella: (Y/N)-kuuun~!
(Y/N) felt like he'd drop dead at that moment. But he didn't. He slowly turned around and faced Quinella, who seemed to be in a good mood.
(Y/N): How do you do... Nella... You seem to be in good spirits...
Quinella: Indeed I am. Happy Valentines, darling~
She held out a nearly wrapped bar of chocolate, with an innocent smile on her face.
Tiamat: Ah... Kolzreid, I knew you were hiding her from me.
Quinella: Eh?
Quinella lowered her arms and blinked a couple of times when she saw Tiamat float over to (Y/N).
Quinella:... M-Mother?
Tiamat: It's been a long time. Queen of Spirits, thank you for taking care of my Kolzreid.
(Y/N): Queen of Spirits?...
Quinella:... How... Are you here?... What about the-
Tiamat: My original self is still sealed. But a small portion of me was able to manifest for today. I wanted to see Kolzreid in person, so I received help.
Zero: Remember me~!
Quinella: You... You're responsible?... Just who are you?
Zero: Just a visitor from outside is all.
Quinella:... Outside...?
Quinella blinked, and then then she narrowed her eyes as though she understood something.
Quinella:... Which one?
Zero: Fourth. I took over for the last guy cause shit happened, don't worry about the rules, I'm the exception. I'm a free man, so to speak. Now enough about me, you had something to give to your mans, didn't you~?
Quinella:... Hm... I've never met another one similar to Mother. I will not ask any more questions... For I do indeed have something to give to my significant other~.
She turned her attention back to (Y/N), who was having a small conversation with Ayaka.
(Y/N): Hm? Ah, you all finished reminiscing without me?
Quinella cleared her throat and handed him the chocolate.
Quinella: Here you go. Please take your time indulging. All my love for you was put into it~.
(Y/N): *Sighs* All right, I can tell you also worked hard to make it.
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Subaru:... Man... (Y/N)'s having a whole family reunion over there... Makes me nostalgic...
Subaru smiled and sighed. He then turned when he felt someone tap his shoulder.
Rem: Subaru-kun.
Subaru: Hm? Ah, Rem. I'm glad to see you.
Rem: Hai. Um... Uh...
She began to blush and held out her arms, in it was a Chocolate shaped into a heart that had been wrapped.
Rem: Happy Valentines, Subaru-kun. I made sure to put all my feelings into it, so you can enjoy a delicious valentines chocolate.
Subaru gave her a headpat and smiled.
Subaru: Thanks, Rem, I appreciate it.
He unwrapped it and then took a bite into it, immediately afterwards, his face lit up.
Subaru: This is good! Wow! Is this your first time making chocolate?
Rem: Hai! To be honest, I was a little nervous as to how it would turn out. I received some help from Quinella-san, she gave me a recommendation on how to make the chocolate taste even sweeter, but in the end I decided not to add the aphrodisiac. Despite that, it still tastes nice?
Subaru froze. (Y/N) froze. Quinella froze. Everyone froze!!!
(Y/N)'s was just about to bite the chocolate that was in his mouth. But after hearing Rem, he placed his finger and thumb inside, took out the chocolate, and then placed it into Quinella's mouth.
(Y/N): Ahhh... I admit, you almost caught me lacking. It was a very very good attempt. ಠ_ಠ
Subaru: ('ー')
(Y/N) walked over Rem and gave a her a headpat.
(Y/N): Thank you, Rem. You and your innocence on these matters saved the day. Thank you. I'll be sure to get you a gift in white day.
Rem: Hm?
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Zero looked back and forth between Quinella and (Y/N), and then he started laughing.
Quinella began chewing the chocolate that was placed in her mouth. After swallowing, she sighed.
Quinella: *Sighs* Mission failed, I'll get 'im next time.
Zero: Heh, well, you're tenacious if nothing else.
Quinella: Of course, if I left it up to him, we'd never get anywhere. He's just never been interested in that sort of thing... Regardless! I won't let that stop me!
She clenched her fist and stared at (Y/N), who was grinning at Rem, the fire in her eyes was practically visible.
Zero: Hehe, Ganbare!! You'll get there... Eventually. Wait are you really going to eat those?
Quinella: If I can't use it on him, I'll use it on myself.
Zero: Oh 0.0 ...
Zero looked to his left and noticed that Tiamat was pouting.
Zero: What's up with you?
Tiamat: Kolzreid looked happy to receive a Chocolate. And so did his friend.
Zero: And that makes you unhappy?
Tiamat: No... I despise Mortals... But... I also love them. Echidna, called this... An antimony?
Zero: What??? Ah, no, I think you mean an Antinomy.
Tiamat: Yes. It's very problematic. I am still happy... To see my children happy. But...
Zero: But?...
Tiamat:... I'm jealous... I want to be able to make them smile by making my own Chocolate. That way, I can express my love for them.
Zero: Ah... Is that all?... All right then... Let's go.
Tiamat: Hm?...
Zero: Yeah, let's head over the kitchen. If it's chocolate you want, then it's Chocolate you're going to get~. I'll teach you how to make it. We can make it together, and then hand it to everyone. Though, there'll be quite a lot of chocolate... But it is the thought that counts.
Tiamat:... You'll teach me, how to make it?...
Zero: Sure. I'm all for wholesome things.
Tiamat smiled.
Tiamat: Zero... You really are a good child... Aren't you?
Zero: I dunno if I'd call myself a Child here. And good?... I dunno. I'm not the original ruler of the fourth you know. Your brother no longer exists.
Tiamat: I have long since left the plain of origins. I am now a Mother, my only concern, is my Children. You are someone who can care for my Children, the same way I do. That is my only viewpoint.
Zero: Heh, Mini-Mom is much more reasonable than Big-Mom... Ah... On second though I won't be saying Big Mom again... *Shudders*. Let's go.
He held out a hand and allowed her to take it, and then the two of them headed for the Kitchen for Mama Tia's lesson in making chocolate.
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Emilia: Subaru!
Subaru: Hm? Ahh!!!! Emilia-taaaan!!!! I've been wanting to see you!
Emilia, who was previously jogging, had stopped in front of Subaru, (Y/N) and Rem.
Emilia: I've been meaning to give this to you! Happy Valentines!!
Subaru's started grinning, and then he clenched his fist while blushing and looking up to the sky.
Subarus I never thought I'd ever receive a Valentines Chocolate from a girl in my life! Let alone two!!!!
(Y/N): If you look up anymore, you're going to snap your own neck.
Subaru quickly looked down and laughed nervously.
Subaru: Th-Thanks, Emilia-tan! I'll be sure to treasure and savour it! Be prepared for white da-
Emilia: Here, for you, (Y/N)!
Subaru became so stiff he was practically a stone statue.
Subaru: 🗿❓
(Y/N): Oh, me as well?
Emilia: Hai. I wanted to use this as an opportunity to thank you. Both of you, for all you've done for me up until now. You're both always saving me, and I've never actually gotten a chance to do something for the both of you. I hope that time comes in the future... But for now, I just wanted to show my appreciation in the form of these chocolates.... Thank you both.
Subaru: Ah... Emilia didn't just make chocolates for me...
(Y/N): I don't know what you were expecting, it's Emilia...
Quinella: It's Emilia...
Quinella spoke after taking a bite out of a Chocolate.
(Y/N): That chocolate is different from the one she made me. Is that...
Emilia: Hai, I also made Quinella-san a chocolate. She's a very good teacher. So I made sure to thank her properly. I gave Ayaka-chan, Puck, Roswaal, Rem and Ram some too a little earlier, and... Ah! There she is...
Emilia ran off, leaving behind an emotionally deflated Subaru, (Y/N) and Rem.
Rem: Subaru-kun?
(Y/N): Nah, leave him. He's been disillusioned from his unrealistic expectations.
Rem: Expectations?
(Y/N): Meh.
——————————————
Emilia: Beatrice! There you are.
Emilia ran over to a table, where Beatrice and a certain spectacled Witch was sitting. Of course, as soon as that witch had noticed the half-elf's presence, her somewhat amicable mood took a turn for the worse.
Emilia: And... A guest?... Uh... Hello. My name is Emilia, what is your name?
Echidna: That is not something I feel like sharing with the likes of you. If you must refer to me by anything. You may call me by the unmemorable name "Megane".
Emilia: Megane?? As in glasses?
(Y/N): Apparently, that's her whole identity. Echidna with Glasses. Better not to question it, you'll just walk away with more questions that you originally had.
Emilia: H-Hai... Well. It's um... Nice to meet you... Megane-san...?
Echidna:... Didn't you have some other business here?
Emilia: Yes. Beatrice. Here!
Beatrice: What is this, in fact?
Emilia: I made everyone a Valentines Chocolate. Of course, everyone includes you. Please enjoy, I tasted them myself, they should be quite delicious. Ah, I should have made some for our guest—
Echidna: No need to go out of your way. If needed be I will just share some with Beatrice.
Emilia: Well, as long as you're satisfied.
Echidna: Ugh.
——————————————
Some time later...
Zero: Hai Hai!! Minna-san! I thank you all for waiting! The last chocolates of the day will now be handed out. They were all made with lots of love by none other than the beautiful mother of all~!
He held out two trays with small heart shaped chocolates on them.
Tiamat: Please, eat lots... Grow big... Grow healthy... Love each other... Take care of each other... That is... Okaa-san's wish... For you all.
Zero: And those are the words of the Multiverse's most loving mother~! Dig in everyone, you'll love em.
Subaru was the first to try one. After taking a bite, he staggered backwards, reeling from shock.
Rem: Subaru-kun?!
Emilia: Are you alright, Subaru?
Subaru: I-If... If this was Food Conflict, I think my clothes would have come off!
(Y/N): S'cuse me?... "Food Conflict?" What in the unholy f—
Quinella placed a chocolate in his mouth to stop him from speaking.
Quinella: Language around the little one.
(Y/N) also staggered backwards and widened his eyes.
(Y/N): *Thank god this isn't food wars.* Mother! I would like to request another!
A healthy blush and smile worked it's way to Tiamat's face. She nod her head and took the tray from Zero, holding it out in front of (Y/N).
Tiamat: You like it? Then please, have more, Okaa-san is glad.
(Y/N) took another chocolate, and then gave one to Ayaka, who gained stars in her eyes after taking a bite.
(Y/N): Like it?
Ayaka: Un!!
The others present also slowly went in and took some chocolates for themselves. Unable to resist the flavour, it was unanimously agreed that these were the best chocolates made today.
Tiamat: The key ingredient, was Okaa-san's love for everyone!
So says Mini-Mom Tia~
You may have noticed, a certain pair who's reaction to their chocolate was skipped over.
Zero: Huh?... Oh, you mean that Clown and his maid with their weird dynamic? No, I didn't forget them. I'd just rather the clown gets little to no screen time! Buuut, we can ask Ram here who's enjoying one of mothers chocolates to herself about his reaction~ Soo. Ram-
He got out the selfie stick with the Go-Pro.
Zero: Did you do it? What'd he say?
Ram: Of course, he loved my chocolates, they were made by me after all~
She puffed her chest out with pride. Briskly disregarding the fact that out of everyone that was in the Kitchen, she needed the most aid from Quinella to complete her chocolate.
Zero: Bah, technicalities, am I right?...
——————————————
Zero:... Hm...
Echidna: Ara, why the long face~? Did you not accomplish what you set out to achieve? One figured you'd be quite elated.
Zero: I am quite happy, in fact. You?
Echidna: I do not hold any particular emotion regarding today. From my own perspective, this... "Valentine's day" is just an ordinary day.
Zero: Yeah... I guess it is. There isn't anything special about the day itself. It's the people who make it special... Of course, that's usually only those who have someone they're thinking of presenting a gift to. But hey, you came back to life for a day, met Beatrice, hope you at least got to speak about some stuff off screen.
Echidna: Hm... She hasn't changed much... I see she still refuses to choose
Zero: Hm... I don't think that will be the case for much longer.
He smirked as he watched Subaru swing a flustered Beatrice around in the air, before getting blown away by her magic. Rem, Mini-Mom and Emilia were making sure he was okay, Ram, the clown and Quinella were smirking in avid amusement and (Y/N), as well as Ayaka were giggling with each other.
Zero: Quite the mix up of characters. There's no way she'll be able to stay stuck there forever.
Echidna: Yes... The ever eccentric Natsuki Subaru will probably work his magic.
Zero: Umu. So, how are those glasses?
Echidna: You called these glasses an "Anti-Roswaal Noble Phantasm" yes?... It certainly did the trick to make me unrecognisable to that fool.
Zero: Glad to hear. Last thing we need is that simp of a Clown getting anywhere near you.
Echidna: Yes. While I am not aware of the specifics... I do know, that there is a lot more to you than meets the eye. I know that you possess vasts amount of knowledge that I would be all to happy to gain. But... I do have my contract.
Zero: Yes yes. You can't cheat on him and go making contracts with other men.
Echidna: Must you make it sound so scandalous~?
Zero: Heh, sure. I know a lot, but what fun would it be if I just told you everything. You'll find out a lot on your own anyway. Stick with (Y/N), you'll change each other, in more ways than one. That, I'm sure of.
Echidna chuckled.
Echidna: The way you speak... Are you sure you aren't a God like he is~?
Zero: Nope. Just your friendly neighbourhood reality warper that seeks to get a kick out of life by doing whatever I want, whenever I want.
Zero stood up and stretched.
Zero: I got to interact with the people that I and many others have been watching over all this time, and I brought about a pretty wholesome end if I do say so myself. That's honestly more than I could ask for, I'm pretty satisfied.
Echidna: You're leaving then, I presume?
Zero: Yup. I called this a Valentines "short"... But we're at fucking 7.2K words, short my ass! Enjoy yourself while ya still can. This is quite literally the calm before the storm.
He turned and then walked towards a door, Echidna watched him walk off, and raised a brow when she saw Mini-Mom fly past her.
Zero placed his hand on the doorknob, but paused when he heard his name get called.
Tiamat: Zero.
Zero:....?
He slowly turned around and saw everyone looking at him. The others present were all walking towards the door with smiles on their faces.
(Y/N): Not sure about the details. But I'm pretty sure I know enough to safely say...
Subaru: That you were the one who left the chocolate ingredients as well as the instructions.
Emilia: Thank you for allowing us to have a Valentine's Day, Zero.
Subaru: Yeah man, I received a Chocolate from the first time in my life from someone who wasn't my mom, haha.
Zero: Caught red-handed it seems. Ah well.
Ayaka: Are you leaving, Uncle?
Zero: Yep. I've also got my own stuff going on. So I'll be heading back. Take good care of your Papa.
Ayaka: Hai...
Zero: Yosh, let's not make this a sad parting. I have words for you all, words I've genuinely wanted to say to you all at one point.
Zero cleared his throat, and readied his Go-Pro.
Zero: First Up. Little Miss Ayaka. Make sure you grow up into a beautiful young Spirit. And as I said earlier, take care of your dad and make sure he knows he's loved! Quinella... Never give up, I'm rooting for you. o7
He placed a hand at his forehead and saluted.
Zero: (Y/N), stay based. Protecc the Loli's. Ayaka... And well... You'll meet the other one soon.
(Y/N): ?
Zero: Subaru... I know how you feel but you've SERIOUSLY gotta stop being so downbad.
An embarrassed Subaru scratched the back of his head.
Zero: Rem & Ram... To be honest you both are perfect the way you are. Never change.
He stuck up his thumb.
Ram: Hmph, it seems you aren't entirely devoid of common sense then.
Zero: Roswaal... That makeup really suits you ^_^....
Roswaal🤡: I apreeeeeciate it, Zeeero-kun.
(Y/N): *That was definitely backhanded 🗿*
Zero: Beako........ Can I play with your hair... Just a little bit-
Beatrice: Don't you dare, I suppose!
Zero: Shame...
Zero: Next time then... Last but not least. Emilia. Thank you for being you. Your childlike demeanour is pretty entertaining and adorable to watch.
Emilia: A-Adorable? Childlike?!
A small blush made it's way to her cheeks.
Zero: *Coughs* We don't do NTR around here so I'm gonna end it off there. It would be nice if I could chat longer, but I do have to take my leave.
Tiamat: Zero...
Zero: Hm?
Tiamat's body began to glow red, it grew in size, now towering over everyone else in the room. She opened his hand, and handed him a Chocolate.
Tiamat: Happy... Valentines... Day!
Zero:..............
He closed his eyes for a brief moment and chuckled. His head was taken by Tiamat and was hugged.
Tiamat: It is more... Comfortable... For you, this way... Yes? A hug... From Okaa-san...
Zero:... Yeah... Happy Valentine's...
After a few moments, he parted from her.
Zero: Thanks for that. I needed that more than I realised. Well then... It's about time I took my leave... Perhaps we'll meet again? We'll see what fate has in store.
Tiamat:.... Itteraisshai...
He blinked twice.
Zero: .... Heh... *A surprise, for sure... But a welcome one...* Ittekimasu!!
With renewed Vigour, Zero spun around and made his exit, slowly closing the door behind him.
——————————————
He then sighed.
Zero: It's best for someone like me not to get too attached... But a little appreciation never hurt anyone, right?... Even if this all disappears... I'll just be glad that it did happen. Something akin to a singularity. The narrative will correct itself after I leave... But everything that happened will at least remain in my memory at least~ This'll be a valentines more E memorable than any I've experienced in life knowing me...
He nod to himself and began to walk. As he did so, his body began to glow gold, and slowly fade away. The last thing to disappear, was his head.
But up until the very end, there was a smile on his face.
"Goodbye everyone, we will all watch your careers with great interest."
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>Valentines Short: End<
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(A/N): I know it's late, a day late, but better late than never Huh? This day in particular doesn't have much significance, but I still felt like making a Valentine related Chapter just for the sake of it. Why? Because happiness like this won't be coming in this story for a long while~ I'm still about 10K words into the next chapter, so be prepared for that.
Decided to inconspicuously drop in some canon lore in this questionably (non)canon chapter, have fun with that.
Anyway, hope most of you somewhat enjoyed what I put out with my mediocre writing skills for Valentines, I'll be seeing you all in the next chapter.
A happy valentines to all the readers from your dearest mother.
Mana Tia has enough love to go around for each and everyone of you. So don't forget to love yourselves to~!
That'll be all!
Themanofculture loggin off~