~HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ~
The update is especially for all the singles because our books are our Valentine *hehe* (committed people chill, books are love for everyone *wink*)
As promised your update is here. I am very uncertain about what I wrote but I hope you guys like it. I need loads of inline comments as a reward *puppy eyes*.
Happy reading!
Kabir's POV
"Still? It's not a game that I played yesterday and got over it today. Love might be an emotion, while feelings indicate the realization of being in love. I would say my feelings are stronger than emotions, so I love him with all I have. Whether 7 years or 17, my answer wouldn't change. Do you think I will go on giving the custody of my precious to anyone whom I find suitable?" she said and my knees gave up. I sat on the ground and kept my hands on my thighs as tears gathered in the corner of my eyes. My ears feel blessed to have heard those words from her. Nothing mattered anymore and my world was stuck amid those four letters trying to conclude her feelings towards me.
"Why don't you reunite with him then?" Meeta asked. I kept on looking at her without blinking, waiting eagerly for the answer I hadn't gotten from her in these months.
"We aren't meant to be. Not everything is as easy as it seems. It's not a movie that he comes to get me after years and we both have an emotional conversation where I regret taking an impulsive decision of leaving him and we reunite to get our happily ever after. I left him in my complete consciousness and returning to him means throwing stones at my own house, which would bring nothing but destruction," she said, making the wheels in my head turn. I wanted to drag her out and ask her numerous questions that were making breathing a difficult task for me, but not an inch of my body moved. The only thing I know is that we are meant to be. She is mine and I am hers.
"Believe in God. Believe in his love. Nothing would go wrong" Meeta said.
"People believe in others when they trust themselves. I don't. He did not trust me when he thought that he could get the property papers by playing with Lara and letting her sit on his lap. He thought that he should get that piece of land back, which was officially my right for the sake of my happiness, but he forgot that my happiness lay in his trust. He wasn't wrong to be precise. Even I might have hidden that plan to give him a surprise, but the situation was wrong. His plan had flaws that he couldn't recognize. I love him way too much to be angry at his silly mistakes," she said, and I looked at her, astounded. That means she knows? There was never a misunderstanding in the first place. Why did she leave then? Does she think I don't trust her?
"Okay, so what happened was, you went to his office. Saw Lara sitting on his lap, got heartbroken, ran home, packed your stuff, wrote a note, and flew to London?" she asked.
Meera laughed hard, listening to this. She looked up at Meeta from the desk and said,
"I was crazy behind him. People named my love to be obsession my dear and you think I would leave him for this petty thing? I did not leave him when he introduced Lara as his wife at a party when I was standing right in front of him, so why would I leave his life quietly?" she asked. This made sense to me as well. She knew that it was all for her sake. She knew that I just wanted to get her mother's last impression, which she dearly wanted, back to her from Lara. She fu*king knew everything. Then why the hell would she leave me? Why goddammit?
"Then why the hell did you leave instead of pulling that girl out of your husband's lap and slapping her right in the face?" Meeta said, frustrated. Meera settled into her previous position and said,
"Kabhi Kabhi jab aap kisi ko shiddat se chahte ho toh puri kaynaat jut jaati hai aapko usse juda karne mein (Sometimes when you desire something with all your heart then the entire universe would work against you to snatch it away from you). Love isn't always enough for relationships to sustain, sweetheart. Believe me, when I say this, till the time Meera is breathing, she is Kabir's. I might be away from him, but we will remain one. You fall in love once, but it completes you for more than a lifetime. Even when he completely forgets me, marries a new girl, or has children from them, we would remain united. He might fall in love again, but it would never be the same as what we shared. It is a union of souls, my dear. Neither the distance nor the relation and not even a few legal papers can set us apart," she said, making me crave to hold her. Kabir is hers, alive or dead.
"If you love him so much, then why did you leave him in the assumption of being responsible for hurting you and losing you? Why did you leave him in the middle of flames of guilt?" she asked.
"I am not guilty of leaving him. I consider myself guilty for instilling loneliness deep inside his soul, which is reflected in his eyes," she answered. If she knows the loneliness seeped inside me, then she must know that she is the cure to it too and no one else can take it out from my insides except her.
"Why are you guys even away then? Why are you hurting him so much? Go back to him," Meeta said, exasperated.
"He doesn't belong to me," she said, making me boil inside.
"Then do it. I know when Meera wants it, she gets it. Go on, stop his damned engagement. Make him belong to you," she said.
"Meera would want anything but a reunion on the cost of things that are kept at stake right now," she said.
"When will you tell me what went wrong? I have asked you more than a hundred times," she said, frustrated.
"That's for me to bear and you to never ask. What happened in the past is done and dusted. Neither the girl who left that house that day would return nor the relationships left behind would rekindle," she answered. If she doesn't want past relationships to hijack her life, so be it. I would choose to become her present. Whether today or tomorrow she is mine and nobody can change this fact. I would win her back to know the complete truth. I wish to know and share her pain. I have no idea about her reason, but one thing is clear: she never stopped trusting me.
"I don't know your reasons, and neither do I wish to know them. Just do something so that you come out of your shell and get me back the Meera we have lost to time. The only way to do that is to let Kabir enter your heart," she said.
"I am afraid this would lead to some irreparable damage. I was able to live after leaving him once, but I would die if this happens again. I can't love selflessly anymore because now if I let him enter, I would never let him leave. I will tie him to me. Even if he begs me to leave him I won't be able to do it this time. I was strong enough back then, but now with all this mess, I won't be able to handle one more separation. I am not the one for him. This is not my insecurity speaking this is the reality. It is not because I don't trust his love. It is because he is unaware of so many things that won't let us be together," she said. She is afraid that she wouldn't be able to leave me again? Let me grab you once, my vixen. I will see how you even think about leaving me. I have lived each moment without her like a lifeless body. There's no way in hell I am letting her out of my sight. I would coalesce heaven and hell to know what is keeping us apart.
"By the way do you think you are difficult to love?" she asked.
"Loving the cheerful, optimistic, shy, polite, and bubbly Meera Kashyap was difficult for people. Do you think loving the rude, selfish, arrogant, and hot-headed Meera is simple?" my princess shot back.
"I think loving the Meera I know is easy as pie," Meeta winked.
"Then leave Avi and marry me. I would accept the proposal in a minute if I get a hot chick like you," Meera winked back.
"Main toh Avi ko ek pal ke liye chod bhi doon tum apne kabir ke khyaal chod paogi toh baat karo (I can think about leaving Avi for a moment but will you be able to leave the thoughts of your Kabir)" she said.
"I will if you fulfill my fantasy of a runaway marriage," she said, and they chuckled. Currently, my mind was more focused on her health than this stuff. Someone other than me in her life? No chance.
"As a doctor, I wish to know about your will to live. Do you want to die?" she asked.
"Death isn't my friend. It has never been an easy escape for me. I want to stay alive. I have promised my precious that even if she leaves me, I will stay alive. Her mother won't die and I won't go back on words. I know I did that to convince her to go with Kabir, and it turned futile. I have promised her to give her a black Rolls Royce on her eighteenth birthday, so I have to live until then at least. I know nobody cares if I live or die, but I still care about my promises," she said.
"Shut the hell up! You are an idiot," Meeta yelled, throwing her pen at Meera's head.
"That hurt you crazy woman," princess yelled.
"It was supposed to hurt. I would have thrown it in the bin if it did not hurt" Meeta flipped her hair.
"Tell Kabir the truth...tell him that you know he was trying to help you. I don't think you consider him responsible for what happened that night," Meeta said.
"He did not oust me. I left, so why would I hold him responsible for anything? I never told him in person that he was going to be a father for him to take care of us. I am sure even if he had an affair, he wouldn't have left me or let me go out of the house alone at night. But the fact is he would never betray me. I know him enough to blame him for things he had no idea about. Sometimes I doubt if I was the right woman for him or not. He is too pure to be affected by my shadow," she said. I had enough. I got up and stormed towards her. I went and stood before her and obstructed her view of the glass window. Her eyes met mine as she looked up and, unlike mine, hers were blank. I held her hand folded on the table and made her stand up.
I wounded an arm around her waist and pulled her on myself. Our faces were inches apart and I said sternly "Repeat!"
"What do you want me to repeat Mr. Raichand?" she asked. I was done bearing her tantrums. I picked her up in my arms and turned to the doctor and asked,
"Where is the private emergency gateway?" she pointed in a direction too shocked to react at my wild behavior.
I walked towards the door, exited the hospital, made her sit in our car, and drove home. I was losing my shit now. She did not even say anything. As we reached the mansion, I handed over the car keys to the guard and hoisted her up in my arms again. The servants were shocked to see me carrying her bridal style, but for now, I didn't care a bit. After reaching her room, I threw her on the bed and hovered over her. I leaned closer to her and kissed her. Kissed her harshly and mercilessly. While I enjoyed the feeling of her soft lips, I reminisced about her words. I left her when we were out of breath and asked, "WHY?"
"Why the hell did you hide it from me?" I yelled. She just kept on looking at me innocently. Freaking hell! She doesn't even need to do anything, and I get turned on.
"It's been months. I have been bearing your tantrums, keeping patience with everything, and even your indifferent attitude, but this is not bearable. You cannot hide your pain from me. I deserve to know it. You had to tell me this long back that you were suffering from some neurological issue or something? Heck! What is it?" I said, going crazy.
"Tumor. It's called a brain tumor," she said, looking into my eyes. Oh! Tumor. WHAT? She is suffering from a brain tumor.
"Dammit! How severe is it?" I asked. She told me to get up from her and I stood up. She stood up, and I picked her up and made her sit on my lap.
"90% curable. Calm down," she said.
"Like hell, I would" I tightened my hold on her waist.
"Mr. Raichand–" she was saying when I stopped her.
"Call me that again and I will seal your lips. I would prefer Chaand from that pretty mouth of yours. Better use Kabir for now because I am sure when you call me by my nickname, I forget everything else in this world," I said, and she sighed.
"Kabir. You didn't even know in all these years if I was alive–"
"You kept a hand on my heart and said a few things on the day you went away. Remember, I was freaking out in the morning considering my plan, and I was afraid that I would lose you. You told me that you breathe with the assurance that I am breathing. You exist with the hope that our hearts are beating together and you are not alone. Your words kept on ringing in my head and I learned to breathe with the same faith as you. My Meera would be out there, existing in some corner of the world. Nothing will happen to my princess because our hearts beat together and never alone. I inhaled and exhaled, keeping in my mind that it is the only way to ensure you are existing because you said that you would stop breathing the minute I do. Do you think the man who is standing alive just on the belief that you would have somehow subsisted in those harsh surroundings can see something happening to you and still have the courage to exist?" I asked, and I saw my pain mirrored in her eyes.
"Kabir..." she whispered, and I closed my eyes, feeling my name roll out of her tongue so smoothly.
"Princess, I would do as you say. I would never talk about the past if that is what it takes, but just let me in." I was vulnerable.
"Kabir, you somehow managed to love the scarred me but you won't be able to love the tainted me," she said, joining her head with mine.
"Scarred, tainted, broken, or shattered, I love you. I love the whole of you. I am in no better condition than you. Tell me what is restraining you? What is making you take a step back?" I asked softly.
"Make yourself believe that we are not written in each other's fate. Settle with the fact that Meera was your past. Keep chanting that someday she would leave your head," she mumbled.
"And my complete self would scream that she won't leave your heart even if you transform your entire being and be reborn as a new person," I replied. She took a deep breath and said, "How do we move forward then? I cannot get back to you. Lives are not the same as before Kabir. I accept that I left. I accept that I was unable to fulfill our promise of togetherness. I accept my every flaw, but I don't regret a thing. You were stuck because you didn't wish to move forward—"
"There's no forward without you. I just see dark," I completed.
"Sun is not bright," she said, and I opened my eyes, sinking in her words. She cupped my face and said "In winter people feel chirpy when the bright sun shines over their heads but those who have let the warmth fade away from their hearts never find the sun bright. Their days are the same, whether chilly or warm. Darkness comes from within, so defeat it, Kabir. You would be able to see a way," she said.
"I might find a way, but I wouldn't be able to walk on it because my courage to walk lies in you," I said. After this, she said nothing and freed herself from my grasp.
"It's time to get our precious back from the workshop. Let's go," she said, walking towards the door.
"Avoid me, ignore me, hate me, or hurt me. I am still gonna find my way to your heart. Those high walls might be for the world, but you have always told me that the raw and true Meera is reserved for me. I would bend destiny if needed to get you back. I want 'us' and I will make it happen. You know me enough that if I set my eyes on something, then it's mine and you are solely and only mine. All rights reserved. Even you cannot refute darling," I said, kissing her forehead.
"And also from tomorrow, half of your workload gets shifted to me. No arguments," I said, and she replied, "I am the boss, not you."
"When it comes to your health, I am the boss. I do not allow you to play with it. I will tie you to the bed if you don't listen to me," I warned. The idea seemed tempting.
"If not for your handsome face, I would have punched you," she said.
"Princess, just let me take care of you this once. We can resume fighting once you are fit and fine," I suggested.
"Works for me. It's not needed but anyway do as you, please. I would still like to remain out of your way and you stay out of mine. We are Kiyaara's parents and that's the only informal relationship I can offer you. Don't raise your hopes," she ordered and walked away. Soon, princess soon. I will unite our ways like before. The first thing I need to know is the truth of that black night that ruined us both. Destiny wasn't alone in keeping you away from me. I will discover the human form of evil present in our lives.
At night I was passing by the room of princess when I heard a scream. The water jug slipped from my hand and I barged into her room. There she was, sitting on the bed, all sweaty and exhausted. Her state had me terrified for a minute. What scared me more was that the name she screamed was mine. Her breath came out in pants as if someone was choking her. The fear visible in her restless eyes and trembling figure gave me an idea of her demons. I quickly reached her side and climbed onto the bed taking her into a hug. She kept on mumbling my name, clutching my shirt tightly. What the heck happened for her to be this scared? What went wrong? Her condition shook me to the core. Is every night the same struggle for her? She slowly left my shirt and touched my face as if trying to assure herself that I was real. I kissed her forehead multiple times to calm her and myself.
As she realized I was real, she quickly pushed me away and wiped the tears that fell from her eyes. Slowly the cold her was back who was considered unapproachable by many. She pulled the duvet off her body and poured some water for herself. She gulped it down in a go. When she was finally able to speak, she said, "Leave."
When I did not budge, she said sternly, "I said Leave"
"And let you reel into the pain of reliving the nightmare until you finally see your precious waking up. Shut up and lie down," I said.
"Kabir! Leave" she said.
"Lie down. I don't like to repeat myself. You are already not well and a good sleep cures 60% of the issues," I huffed, walking closer to her.
When she did not move, I held her hand and dragged her to bed.
"You cannot object to me caring for you, princess. We have to resume fighting once you are 100% fine, so till then listen to me please," I said, and she nodded. She wasn't in a state to fight. As she lay down on the bed, I settled down beside her, enveloping her in my embrace. She tried to pull away, but I didn't let her. The close contact was affecting us both, and I knew she was afraid to get attached, but what she forgot was we were hitched for the rest of our lives. I kept on patting her head until she fell asleep, and I don't even remember when her essence lulled me to sleep.
The night ebbed away slowly as the new morning crept in. It was empty because she wasn't there in my arms. I looked around to see her standing near the window, busy with some phone calls. As she cut the call, she looked at me and said,
"Get ready. You have to be in the office in an hour," she said.
"I applied for a leave last night. It got approved," I said, and she nodded.
"No 'good morning' for me. Why are we always back to square one?" I mumbled. She apparently heard it so she said, "Because there's no square two in our life"
"Because somebody doesn't recognize the square into infinity present over here," I said, and she glared at me.
"Get out of my room and let me get ready because I am not on a leave," she said, and I found it cute. Weird me!
I slowly walked to the door, but then turned back. I held her hand, made her face me, and kissed her forehead, letting my lips linger over there. She lightly pushed me away and wiped her forehead, making a face. She is a cutie pie.
I left her room, got ready, and traveled to my destination. The next thing I knew was I was sitting in the cabin of Doctor Meeta discussing her reports. After she explained me everything she asked,
"Look Kabir, I am not only her doctor. I am her elder sister. I want to know how it all started and what went wrong?" Meeta said. My princess trusted this lady enough to share her feelings with her so sharing the past makes sense. She gave me sisterly vibes.
When she saw me, a bit hesitant, she spoke,
"I have been strong enough to see her bearing this pain for long and breaking bit by bit but now when I know I have someone who can finally reveal what happened in the past I am not sitting back quietly. I love her as my little one. I have known her for years and I would do anything to see the Meera that is enclosed in that old album I found in her storeroom. The one who had ice cream smeared all over her face and you were wiping it tenderly, treating her like a kid. The one who was carefree. I wish to know what went wrong that turned her into a rock, who is unfazed by anything that comes their way. A rock who fears showing emotions and gets closed up in the presence of strangers. Tell me how it all started. Let's start from the beginning," she said, and I knew why my princess trusted this woman.
"Let's start from the beginning. We met..." I started and my mind wandered back to the memories of the past. The past from where it all started. The past that awarded me with a jewel like her. The past that made me meet my princess.
Hey people!
How was it? *fingers crossed*
So from the next chapter, the story would shift tense to past. I hope you guys are as excited as me.
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