The incident last night had me making calls to the General and a few other people to make sure that Lost, Emma, and I were kept out of any reports. The robber himself hadn't really seen anything concerning Lost, but he did hear us talking around him. The General assured me that that wasn't going to be a problem. The whole situation was fairly easy to resolve, though that neighbor boy was a little harder to convince to keep quiet. I wasn't going to silence him, not the way that some people would like, so I sent Lost to talk to him instead. She came back home a few minutes later with assurances that the boy, Hakeem, wouldn't tell anyone anything. I don't know if I trust Hakeem but I do trust Lost. Especially since she somehow seems to make friends with anyone. That much was clear to me when Emma explained the events leading up to the incident.
"Is this good?" Lost asks from her perch at the top of the ladder. She's been installing ceiling fans in all the rooms, and is now doing the living room's. With her attitude sweet as cherry pie thanks to last night, I selfishly took advantage of it to get some chores around the apartment done. Ceiling fans aren't even necessary, but I like the look and extra light.
"Or do you like the other color?" She flips one of the blades in her grip over to show a lighter shade of brown.
"That's great," I tell her, finishing up some paperwork graciously given to me on a trip to the Facility. Apparently my status as a caretaker doesn't absolve me from my past duties. Either that or they haven't replaced me down there yet.
The dome that covers and protects the light bulbs tips off the top of the ladder and I reach forward out of instinct even though I'm far from it. Without moving her eyes from her task, Lost catches the dome deftly and continues adjusting the fan's blades. It's impressive, and I shake my head, wondering why I even bothered worrying. Lost is the most capable person I know.
Arm muscles bulging, Lost finishes with the blades then twists in the light bulbs before putting the dome into place. I watch her finish the job then lean back to look over her handiwork.
"It looks good," I say, putting all my paperwork into a single, unmarked folder. I've been working on it all day and am glad to be done.
"That was the last one," she declares, jumping off the ladder to the floor. "Is there anything else you want me to do?"
"No, not right now. But I really appreciate you helping me today."
Lost smiles wide and if she had a tail I'm sure it would be wagging and knocking things over. "I like helping."
"I know." Getting up, I stuff the folder into the kitchen drawer designated as the junk drawer. There's not much junk in it yet so the folder slides in nicely. "How would you like to come out with me today?" On my outings I usually go to the Facility to get some work done or speak one on one with the General about the perfect mission to send Lost on for her first time without supervision. We've finally selected one but it's not active for two more days. So, I want to take Lost out to have a little fun beforehand. If she succeeds on her solo mission, she's going to be sent out more often. We may not get another chance to relax without interruption before things get intense.
"I'd very much like that," Lost says cheerily. "Can I change?"
"Yeah, of course." The clothes she's wearing right now are minimal, and they would get her alotof attention thanks to how cut and trimmed she is. Men and women would love her, I'm sure. But I'd rather her cover up, if only to mask her scars. Perhaps I could get some cream to lighten them...
"Where are we going?" Lost asks as she stuffs her arms into a jacket. She's put on jeans, too. The woman is quick.
"I'm not sure yet, honestly," I admit. I don't know of anything happening around the city right now but I'm certain we can find something entertaining to do. It's not all that late, the sun is still out. It should be for at least another hour or so.
Lost rights the hood of her jacket and stares at me. "Are you going to get your hair done?"
"No, not- Wait. You noticed?" I thought my little indulgence went on under the radar. It's the one thing I do for myself since I never did anything like it down below at the Facility.
"Of course I noticed," Lost says. "You look beautiful. Well, you're always beautiful, but when you get your hair done you seem to be happier. I like it when you're happy."
Lost never told be before that she thought I was beautiful, or that she enjoyed seeing me when I came home from the hairdressers. It's more than flattering and all I can manage is a "Thank you."
Smiling, Lost fetches the car keys and hands them over to me. "It's my pleasure." Then she opens the front door for me and patiently waits for me to join her out in the hall. After locking the door, I lead Lost to the elevator and we ride down to the ground floor in silence. From the corner of my eye I notice Lost smiling to herself. It's charming, and a part of me wants to pat her shoulder or arm just because. But I've worked too hard to keep my distance. I don't want to disturb her or give her a reason to lash out at me. She's never attempted to touch me outside of a professional capacity, either, so there's no reason for me to break our silent deal.
We hop into the car, parked right out front, and I begin to drive with no destination in mind. It's a cool, relatively sunny evening, and the warmth isn't wet, thankfully. Surely there's some kind of event going on today that Lost and I can attend for a little fun.
"The city is wondrous," Lost comments as she looks out the window, her mouth open slightly.
An amused smirk takes over my face. "Why's that?" Sure, the city can be eye-catching, but mostly it's a little dirty and there's more smog than there should be. The people aren't winning any awards in polite contests, either.
"The buildings are sky high and technology has advanced so far that machines inside combat the heat easily," Lost says, still looking out the window. "There are lights on every corner and rules that only the inhabitants of this city seem to know. Have you seen the city at night?"
I want to laugh and say 'of course' but Lost's mindset is... Well, the way she talks is endearing and I don't want to spoil her mood by laughing at her. "What do you think of it?" I ask instead.
She sighs with enough emotion to make me glance at her. "It's marvelous. I want to walk the streets and see who's awake with me."
"That could be dangerous."
"Dangerous?"
Oh. Seems I've ruined the moment without thinking. "Yeah..." I mumble, changing lanes. "You know, muggers and the like. The city has its downsides."
Lost hums and leans back into her seat, spreading her knees and resting her hands on her thighs. "Muggers and the like would not survive an encounter with me."
I would chuckle if I didn't think that were true, but I know it is. Any mugger dumb enough to try something with Lost would instantly regret it.
"Have you been robbed?" Lost asks suddenly, softly. "Mugged?"
I hesitate, clicking on my blinker. "Once, a long time ago."
Lost's hands bunch into fists and I regret my words. Her need to protect me obviously still stands even with past events.
"It wasn't a big deal," I say hurriedly. "I wasn't hurt or anything. I just canceled my credit cards and that was that."
Hands relaxing, Lost adjusts her feet. "I won't let this city be dangerous for you anymore."
I'm sure there's no way I can tell her otherwise, so I say, "I appreciate it." Just like that, Lost seems to go back to her cheerful self, even humming one of those old timey songs of hers.
After about twenty minutes of driving and looking for something interesting to do, I stop at a red light and notice a sign that advertises for a carnival only in town for a few nights.
"That's perfect!" I cry, scaring Lost. It's the first time I've ever caught her off guard and I'm ashamed to say I take great pleasure in it. She scares me so often with her feather light steps and invisibly quick movements that it feels good to get a little payback.
"What's perfect?" she asks, her eyes darting all over my face.
"That," I tell her, pointing to the sign. "Have you ever been to a carnival?"
She squints at the sign and puckers her lips. "Not a modern one. What do they host in these times?"
It's still so strange hearing her talk like that- like she's from a forgotten part of history. To an extent that's true, but it never gets easier hearing her say old expressions or watching her try to figure out something new to her.
"I think you'll enjoy what they host there," I say, smiling.
The sun is almost gone, sending the sky into purple and orange paintings, and I'm grinning from ear to ear, watching Lost ride the spinning death trap dubbed the Wipe Out for the umpteenth time in a row. She's having the time of her life on that thing. I could only take one round before I tapped out, but Lost is having no trouble on it. After the first time she told me it gave her the feeling of going on a midnight run at moon time, and I wasn't sure what that meant but I was happy she was enjoying herself.
Taking a healthy bite of overpriced candy apple, I lean on the metal separation gate that cordons off the ride and makes sure no one gets too close or hurt, and I watch as the giant metal contraption slows. After a minute the ride comes to a stop and all the people on it move to the exit in a disorganized but polite fashion. Lost is near the end of the bunch, moving along with a bounce to her step.
"Going again?" I ask good naturedly, wiping the sticky caramel away from the corner of my lip. "Or are you satisfied?"
Lost grins, her face bright. "I think the keeper of this ride is tired of me."
By 'keeper', she means the ride operator, and I'm certain he's tired of her, too. A few rounds ago Lost wiggled out from the metal bar that was supposed to keep her secure in her seat and she stood atop it, shouting something in another language as she spun around and around without ever faltering. The stunt earned her thunderous applause from other carnival goers but almost got her banned from the ride for life. I have never seen something so reckless look so easy.
"We can try another ride," I suggest, wondering if she'll break the rules on those as well.
She breathes in deep and watches the sky. Darkness has already overtaken the evening and turned the day into night. "What would you like to do now?"
"Let's walk around and see what else this place has to offer." Truth be told, I want Lost to calm a bit, too. She's on a natural high that I'm afraid will make her do something vastly more dangerous than standing on a moving carnival ride.
Lost saddles up beside me but leaves a strip of space between us. "That sounds great. Can we see the games? I want to know how they've advanced."
I chuckle and cross my arms over my stomach. It's getting chillier. "Honestly, they haven't advanced much. There's still the knock over the bottles game and the ring toss and the pop the balloon scam."
"Classics," Lost comments. She shrugs off her jacket then hands it over simply, no hassle or argument. I take it with gratitude and slip it on, but find that Lost is at least a size smaller than me. I burn with unnecessary embarrassment and leave the garment unzipped.
"Can I win you something?" Lost asks, unaware of my little moment. "Or is that a useless gesture?"
"Do you think you can win?" I say it jokingly, sure that Lost can win at these silly games, but her face turns serious.
"I will win you the best prize," she declares.
Chuckling, I throw away my half eaten candy apple in the nearest trash can, then look around with faux contemplation. "That'sthe best prize," I say, pointing to a big brown dog plush toy without thinking. It's not the best, but it is the biggest. I don't even know what game it's for.
Lost squares her shoulders then walks up to the game stand and asks the rules. She has to throw the offered balls at the beer bottles a good distance away and break them to win. Use all five balls to break five bottles and she can get the big brown dog. Lost nods to this information then steps back and lets another patron try their hand at the game. I give her the money needed to play the game then we both watch as the man playing now throws the balls at the bottles. He manages to break three, missing one and not hitting the other hard enough, and wins a mediocre penguin plush for his date, though he smiles and gives the man a kiss for it.
"My turn," Lost whispers when the man and his date leave the stand. She slaps the money I've given her on the stand and waits for her five balls. When she gets them, she grabs the first and spins it in her hand, then she tosses it up in the air and catches it twice. Then, in one swift motion, she throws the balls and shatters the bottle she was aiming for. The ball keeps going and hits and shakes the tarp that prevents the ball from hitting any bystanders walking behind the stall.
"One," Lost counts, picking up her second ball. Again, she throws it and shatters another beer bottle with ease. The next ball thrown breaks a bottle as well, as does the fourth.
Clapping encouragingly, I say, "One more."
Lost looks back at me and winks, tossing the last ball high in the air and catching it smoothly. The act makes my stomach feel funny but I ignore it and stuff my hands in Lost's jacket pockets. And I get to push the feeling completely away as a commotion a ways away catches my attention. There's someone yelling about something being stolen, and the patrons nearby are starting to move out of the way.
"Should I help?" Lost asks, making me look at her. She's holding the ball for the game and staring at the moving crowd.
I think on it for a second, then say, "Don't kill anyone," earning me a confused look from the game's keeper.
My permission comes just in time, as the crowd finally splits and someone running full speed darts towards, then past Lost and I. Before I can even turn around I hear a soft thud then someone slamming to the floor and sliding a few feet. I spin to the ruckus and find Lost jogging over to a person shaped lump on the ground. She bends down and picks up the ball that was supposed to be for the bottle game then grabs the discarded purse lying on the ground. She comes back to me with her haul just in time for the owner of the purse to run past us and skid to a stop at the lump on the ground. Lost holds up the purse and waves, catching the attention of the owner.
"Thank you!" the woman breathes. "I thought I'd never get this back."
"You can beat up your robber, if you'd like," Lost tells the woman. "He's still laying there."
Expression odd, the woman shakes her head. "No... But thank you. I wish I could give you something."
"I don't need anything. I only want to make this city safer."
The woman smiles, then jogs off after another 'Thank you.' Lost returns to the bottle game and holds up the ball she threw at the purse thief. "Can I still use this?" she asks. "Or did I waste my throw on that guy?"
The game keeper nods dumbly, motioning for Lost to take her last throw. She does, and, predictably, breaks a fifth beer bottle. Without hesitation Lost points up to the giant dog plush and demands her prize. When she gets it, she shows it off to me and presents it as if she were giving me a diamond ring.
I hug the humongous dog and smile goofily. Despite the time waiting for Lost to ride the same attraction over and over, and the purse thief, I'm having a great night. I'm glad that Lost and I can spend this time together.
Moving my gift to back, holding the plush pup's paws over my shoulders, I begin to walk with Lost through food and game stalls. Lost's jacket, her comforting presence beside me, her prize on my shoulders, makes me feel warm and cozy. This whole night feels kind of like... a date.
"That was unexpected," Lost says, looking at me. "Did you see something?"
I turn my head to look at her, flustered. "What?"
She points to my chest and wiggles her finger. "Your heart rate shot up for a moment. Excitement. Did you see something you liked? Another prize?"
Her innocence makes my face heat and I look away. Why did she have to say that? I could have been just as happy not knowing that she made me excited for a second.
"Sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot. But if it is another prize, I will win it for you."
A chuckle escapes me and I shrug. "Maybe we should get home. I have to get up early tomorrow." Which is true. I need to turn in my paperwork and talk to the General to make sure everything is still set for Lost's first solo mission.
"Of course," Lost agrees, changing her direction to the parking lot. "I hope you had fun. I did. I like being with you."
Oh, no. She sounds like she's reading straight from a script from a cheesy romance movie. Now I'm supposed to say I had fun, too, and then we kiss to the soundtrack of love or some such thing.
Cheeks hot, I hurry to the car and put my dog in the backseat. Lost hops into the passenger seat and gives me a funny look before buckling her seatbelt. I ignore it and drive off toward home.
The trip is quiet but Lost keeps glancing at me, her eyes narrowed. I don't know what she's thinking and, quite frankly, I don't want to. If I ask she'll give me a straight answer and I don't think I'm prepared for that right now. Her bluntly honest personality will probably make my face so hot that I'll burst into flames.
When we reach home and are trapped in the elevator, Lost finally speaks. "Did I do something wrong?" she asks carefully.
She did something, but it wasn't exactly wrong. It was just unexpected and I'd rather not think about it. So I say, "I'm just tired." I am, kind of, so I'm not lying.
"Okay," Lost mumbles.
We make our way back to our apartment and I sigh as soon as I step foot inside. It feels good to be back home. I drop my big dog on the couch then slip off my shoes and stretch my toes. Lost watches me as I carry my shoes back to room and I pretend that I don't feel her eyes on my back. She definitely knows what I'm feeling, but thankfully she doesn't know why.
As I start to undress to change into my pajamas, I realize that I still have Lost's jacket. I put on my pajama bottoms then take her jacket and knock on Lost's bedroom door. It's open, and when I peek inside I find the room empty. I pad out to the front of our apartment and find Lost exactly where I left her, but now her arms are crossed unsurely over her chest.
"Here's your jacket," I tell her, walking up to her and holding it out for her to take. "Thanks for letting me use it."
She grabs the jacket right where my hand is and continues to hold on to it and me. "You're making me feel funny," she says.
As much as I want to, I can't pull my hand back to myself. "Funny?"
"You're happy, but also not." She takes a step to me, putting our bodies close, only the jacket and our hands separating us. "What's making you unhappy? What can I do to fix it?"
"I'm not unhappy," I say softly, gulping. Anything not happy seems to equal unhappiness to her. "I'm just... tired."
Lost leans down towards me slightly and her eyes search mine. "Not as tired as you keep insisting."
Shocked, I stare at her. She's so close I can smell the buttery popcorn scent embedded in her clothes thanks to the carnival. She's unwavering and all I can wonder is what's making her so brave tonight. Well, that, and why my gaze keeps falling to her lips.
Lost's eyes brighten as I think about her lips again and she grips my hand tighter, drifting even closer to me. I want to take a step back, I do, but... I don't. I've thought about this fleetingly before, a moment like this- being close to Lost, touching her, kissing her, even...
Though that's only because we've been living together for a while now. Of course I'd have those kinds of thoughts about her. It was bound to happen, no big deal. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't have to mean anything.
But then Lost leans in and I feel her breath ghost over my lips, and my heart pounds in my chest. She growls low, so softly, and whispers, "Can I kiss you?"
The question is unexpected and a desperate yes is sitting on the tip of my tongue, but I remain still and bite my lip to stop myself from doing something I might regret. I can't kiss Lost... I can't. For one, the image of her bloody face the first night we went on a mission pops into my head, though everything inside me is telling me she will do everything but hurt me. But no, I still can't do this.I'm her caretaker and I shouldn't be taking advantage of her. So many people have done so in the past already. I'm not going to be one of those people.
Lost's free hand lightly touches my jaw, and I shut my eyes for a moment, enjoying the sensation. She feels nice, dammit. I shouldn't be thinking that.
"I'm tired," I eventually croak, using all my strength to pull away from her.
Lost's expression is so confused and sad, and she blinks at me, the glow in her eyes still blindingly bright. "I... I..."
"I'm going to bed," I say with a much steadier voice. "I had fun today, okay? I'll see you tomorrow." Then I turn around and go back to my room, regretting at least not giving Lost a thankful peck. But who am I kidding? I wouldn't have had the control to stop at just a peck.