#OLAPlayPretend
Chapter 34
Video
The sun had finally risen.
Ang una kong nakita pagdilat ng aking mga mata ay si Xaiver. We were covered with a thick, white comforter while we were both naked under the sheets.
Napangiti ako habang nakatitig sa natutulog na asawa. I didn't expect that I would be the first one to wake up. Siya iyong napakadaming energy kagabi na parang hindi siya mauubusan. Akala ko ay aabutin kami ng hanggang umaga, pero pagkatapos ng tatlong rounds ay tumigil na rin kami.
We were both exhausted. We fell asleep while cuddling, like we missed each other's company. Wala na kaming panahon para makapaglinis ng katawan at magbihis.
Pagkagising ko ay nakayakap pa rin sa akin si Xaiver. Ilang minuto ko ring pinagbigyan ang sarili kong panoorin siya bago ako nagpasyang maghanda ng makakain.
We had nothing planned for the day. Bukas pa kami magsisimulang mamasyal ayon sa itinerary. Xaiver also told me before we left for Spain that we could also visit other countries in Europe because our visa covered them. Wala nga lang siyang nahandang itinerary para doon, kaya baka ayon ang gawin ko ngayong araw. Masyadong mahaba ang isang buwan para manatili lamang sa isang bansa.
Dahan-dahan kong sinubukang tanggalin ang braso ni Xaiver na nakadagan sa akin, ngunit bago pa ako magtagumpay ay mas lalo akong nahila palapit sa kanya. His embrace tightened as he buried his face in my chest.
Napalunok ako at nagsimula na namang uminit ang pisngi. His hot lips were pressed against my bare chest. Ramdam na ramdam ko rin ang mainit na hangin na lumalabas sa kanyang ilong.
I was still sore from last night. Tingin ko ay hindi ko pa kayang agad-agad. I thought I needed at least a day, two, or even three to recover.
"X-Xavi... Maghahanda lang ako umagahan..." sabi ko kahit na gustong-gusto kong humiga pa rin sa tabi niya. Nagugutom na ako dahil hindi naman kami nakakain kagabi.
Xaiver only groaned and pressed himself more to me. Ayaw niya bumangon. I wasn't sure if he was aroused or not, but I felt his bulge touch my legs. Doon ko napansin na nakasuot pala siya ng boxer shorts.
Kailan siya nagbihis? Why am I the only one still fully naked?
Umagang-umaga, nakaramdam ako ng matinding hiya. Muli ko siyang tinulak palayo sa akin. Mabuti na lang at hinayaan niya na ako. Tangay-tangay ko ang buong comforter nang tumayo ako at saka agad na ibinalot sa katawan.
I hissed a bit when I felt pain down there. Talaga pa lang masakit ang unang beses, gaya ng naramdaman ng karamihan. It didn't help that he had a monster one. Pakiramdam ko kagabi ay para niya akong mapupunit. It was a miracle that it even fit me in the first place.
Nang hinarap ko si Xaiver, namumungay ang kanyang mga maya habang nakatingin sa akin. He still looked so sleepy. His domineering aura was nowhere to be found. He turned into prey after being a predator.
"Mag-aayos lang ako. You can rest if you're still sleepy. Gisingin na lang kita kapag handa na ang pagkain," sabi ko sa kanya dahil medyo naawa.
Bahagya siyang ngumuso. How can he be so cute?! Paano nangyari 'yon?
"Okay..." Xaiver breathed, then closed his eyes.
Parang may humaplos sa puso ko habang pinapanood siyang matulog ulit. I did my best to turn my attention away from him, though. Iniwasan kong tumunganga lang dahil kailangan ko na kumilos.
I went to the walk-in closet to get my clothes before taking a quick shower. Medyo hirap akong kumilos at gumalaw dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman, pero nang matapos mag-hot shower ay umokay rin ang pakiramdam kahit papaano.
Natanaw ko agad ang kawali na nakapatong sa ibabaw ng induction pagkarating ko sa kusina. Doon ko naalala ang adobo na niluto ko kagabi bago nangyari ang lahat. I checked to see if the food was still consumable at agad napangiti nang nakumpirmang hindi ko na kailangang magluto pa ng ulam.
Feeling ko, ang tali-talino ko dahil adobo ang naisipan kong lutuin. Hindi madaling mapanis kahit hindi nilagay sa ref. Kinabahan ako nang konti sa ulam, pero agad ding nakahinga nang maluwag dahil hindi napanis.
Isinangag ko na lang 'yon kasabay ng tuloy kong pagpapatuyo sa adobo. Nagsisimula pa nga lang ako sa pagluluto nang nadinig ko ang pagbagsak ng pintuan. It was only a few seconds after that Xaiver arrived in the kitchen. He didn't waste a beat and quickly went behind me.
Ang kanyang mga braso ay pumulupot sa aking bewang. He kissed my cheek before he buried his face in my neck.
Kahit hindi pa naliligo, mabangong-mabango pa rin siya. Nahiya akong kailangan pa ng body shower at scented body lotion para makasiguradong mabango sa buong araw.
"Akala ko matutulog ka pa?" tanong ko.
Umiling siya sa balikat ko. "How can I rest while you're doing housework?"
"Masakit pa ba?" namamaos niyang tanong na pumutol sa iniisip ko.
Ngumuso ako. "Medyo ayos na."
"I'm sorry for being rough last night. I just can't control myself..."
His hot breath tickled my neck. Ang kamay niya ay marahang hinihimas ang aking tiyan. It almost seemed to me as if he was inviting me for another round of making love.
Napalunok ako. Gusto ko. Gustong-gusto kong gawin namin 'yon ulit, pero baka hindi ko na kayanin. At saka hindi pa kami kumakain. Baka tuluyan nang mapanis ang adobo kapag hindi pa namin nakain.
"Uhm... Masakit pa pala..." sabay bawi ko bago pa ulit kami humantong doon.
Natigil saglit si Xaiver. He stiffened a bit before he chuckled in my ear, hugged me tightly, and pressed his face on my neck more.
"Baby, I'm not a heartless monster," he said. "I can't do that to you when you're still sore."
Kaya naman nang naluto na ang sinangag at nainit na ang adobo, agad kaming kumain ni Xaiver. We were both hungry. Hindi ko alam kung paano namin natiis ang gutom. I had never seen him eat so well. Nakadalawang sandok siya ng sinangag at halos maubos ang niluto kong ulam.
"What are we gonna today?" tanong niya nang mauubos na ang pagkain. "Do you wanna go out? Shopping?"
"Wala akong pang-shopping saka may gagawin ako," sagot ko.
Nagtaas siya ng kilay. "I can shop for you. We have money."
Siya talaga ang bumubuking sa sarili niya. Tuwing iniisip niyang kailangan ko ng pera, biglang nagkakaroon at hindi niya napapanindigan ang pagpapanggap niya.
"Naghihirap na tayo, Xavi. Tumigil ka," masungit kong sabi kunwari.
A small smile lingered on his lips. He didn't convince me to go out with him and shop. Nagpatuloy siyang sumubo ng pagkain bago muling nagtanong.
"Ano ang gagawin mo ngayon?" He sounded very curious. "Is it something that involves me?"
I could actually plan our itinerary on my own, but I realized I needed him too. Pati na rin pala ang pera niya.
"Oo. Kailangan kita."
Lumiwanag ang mukha niya. "Really?"
Tumango ako. "Gusto kong umikot sa Europe para hindi sayang ang isang buwan natin dito. I'm gonna plan for our trip, and I need you to book us transpo and accommodations."
"Sure thing." Ngiting-ngiti siya. He was so willing to spend money for us.
Napailing na lang ako habang nangingiti.
Pagkatapos naming kumain, Xaiver helped me do the dishes bago kami pumunta sa dating ginawang opisina ni Papa dito sa apartment. Mayroong computer doon kaya hindi ako mahihirapan sa pagre-research. May dala ring laptop si Xaiver kaya ayon ang gagamitin niya.
Ako ang nakaupo sa swivel chair ng Papa niya habang siya ay sa visitor's chair lamang sa harap ng table nakaupo. I told him to sit on the couch instead, pero gusto niyang malapit kami sa isa't isa.
Ngumuso ako at napatitig kay Xaiver habang seryoso sa paghahanap ng accommodation. He said he didn't want to stay at an Airbnb and decided to choose among the expensive hotels in each country we would visit.
Hindi ko maiwasang isipin how the tables seemed to have turned at that moment. Parang naging baliktad ang posisyon namin. I was the one sitting on the big chair. Siya ang sumusunod sa inuutos kong gawin.
Secretary Xaiver Dela Vega.
Bahagya akong yumuko at nangiti sa iniisip. Malabong mangyari pero nakakatuwang isipin na para ko siyang sekretarya. Pigil na pigil akong magpakita na kinikilig sa naiisip, but the huge smile on my face gave me away.
"What are you smiling about?"
Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang mag-angat ng tingin at nakitang nakasilip si Xaived sa monitor. Nakakunot ang kanyang noo. Akala niya siguro ay may nakita ako sa internet kaya ako nangingiti.
"Wala lang," sabi ko. Nakakahiyang aminin ang iniisip ko.
Mas lalong sumama ang mukha niya. "Are you talking to Joseph?"
Nalaglag ang panga ko sa naiisip niya. Kalaunan ay tuluyan nang natawa dahil talagang si Joseph pa ang naisip niyang dahilan. Kawawang Joseph. Kasalanan ko ata talaga 'yon.
"No," natatawa kong sagot. "Bakit mo naman naisip na kausap ko si Joseph?"
Xaiver didn't answer and stood. Seryoso lang siya. Nagtaas ako ng kilay dahil hindi siya kumikibo.
"Why are you picking on Joseph? Hindi niya ako magugustuhan gaya ng iniisip mo."
"And why not?"
"Because he's gay," sabi ko, kung hindi niya pa halata. "Mas posible pa na sa 'yo siya magkagusto kaysa sa akin."
Xaiver still looked suspicious. "That doesn't make me feel better."
Muli akong natawa. I honestly didn't know how to make him feel better through words and explanations. Kaya nilunok ko na ang hiya. Tumayo ako at umikot sa gilid ng lamesa upang puntahan siya.
Agad akong sinalubong ni Xaiver. I slightly tiptoed and wrapped my arms around his neck. Mabilis ko siyang hinalikan sa labi bago humiwalay.
I smiled widely when I saw his reaction. He still looked serious, but I caught his lips twitching a bit. Halatang pinipigilan niya ang sariling mangiti. Kaya naman muli akong tumingkayad sa pangalawang beses at pinatakan siya ng halik. And as if the tables had turned once again, I was surprised when he put a hand behind my head and deepened the kiss.
His lips moved, claiming every corner of my mouth. Mas lalo akong napakapit sa kanyang leeg. His kisses set fire inside me, which spread like wildfire. Unti-unting nag-init ang katawan ko. Ang sakit na naramdaman sa baba ay tuluyang naglaho. Ngunit bago pa ako tuluyang bumigay, Xaiver broke the kiss and rested his forehead on mine.
"You're sore. Not today..." he said, then pressed another kiss on my lips before pulling away and going back to his seat.
Bakit hindi?
Nababaliw na ata ako sa unang naisip dahil sa panghihinayang na sana hindi ko na lang sinabi sa kanya kanina na medyo masakit pa. Kailangan kong pigilan ang sarili. It wasn't a good idea to be addicted to it. Kaya kaysa isipin ko pa 'yon, bumalik na lang din ako sa upuan at nakipagtitigan sa monitor.
Xaiver and I were able to visit four countries in Europe other than Spain. We traveled a lot, visited landmarks, ate famous cuisines, and tried activities while we were at it. Apat araw na lang ang natitira sa aming bakasyon nang muling tumapak sa Espanya kaya bumisita kaming Madrid bago bumalik sa Barcelona.
Isang linggo lang ang nilagi namin sa Spain sa isang buwan na bakasyon. I felt like it wasn't enough. I wanted to ask for an extension, pero alam kong madami nang kailangang gawin si Xaiver. When we went back to Spain, madalas niyang gamit ang laptop bago matulog. He also called Joseph a few times, too. He was busy most nights, while we spent the whole day together.
Naiintindihan ko naman 'yon kaya walang kaso sa akin. Sanay na rin akong lagi siyang nagtatrabaho. And besides, I got the chance to be his secretary again when he needed help. Nakaka-miss din pala, pero decided na talaga ako na maging regular office clerk sa DVH kaysa bumalik bilang sekretarya niya.
"Nandito na! Nandito na!"
Hila-hila ko si Xaiver palabas ng opisina. He promised not to work once I called for him kaya agad niyang itinigil ang trabaho at nagpahatak sa akin.
While he was busy inside the office, I prepared a simple surprise for our last night in Spain. I transformed the living room into a romantic space. Naglagay ako ng fairy lights sa paligid at pinatay ang ilaw para mas maging romantic ang atmosphere.
Inayos ko rin sa vase ang mga bulaklak na binili sa akin ni Xaiver kaninang umaga nang tinuro ko 'yon. Sa gitna ko 'yon ng coffee table nilagay. Kahit halos kalahating oras lang ang papanooring, I also prepared wine and snacks that we could eat while watching.
"You did this?" Xaiver asked even though the answer was already obvious.
Tumango ako, nangingiti dahil nakuha ko ang reaksyon na ninanais.
Xaiver was in awe. Inikot niya ang mga mata para matingnan nang maayos ang ginawa ko. The fairy lights flickered in his eyes, and their warm tone defined his features by creating sharp shadows. Nang makita 'yon ay ako naman ang namangha sa kanya. He looked like a Greek God who appeared at the dawn of the day.
"Tara na! Excited na ako mapanood!" aya ko sa kanya dahil kahit gusto ko pa siyang titigan, nananabik na akong mapanood ang video.
It was our wedding video. Kaka-upload lang sa Youtube ng kilalang videographer at director na h-in-ire ni Xaiver. I was excited to see how it would turn out.
Bago ko pa nga lang mahila si Xaiver, siya ang humatak sa akin papunta sa kanya. I lost my balance due to force. Bumagsak ako sa matipuno niyang katawan. As soon as I crashed onto his chest, he wrapped his arms around me and planted a kiss on top of my head.
"Thank you for doing this," he said, every word etched with sincerity.
Ngumiti ako at agad yumakap pabalik sa kanya. "I want our last night in Spain to be special. Sana nagustuhan mo."
Huminga siya nang malalim at saka hinigpitan ang yakap sa akin. "I'm sorry for being busy almost every night..."
"I understand... You don't have to be sorry."
"I'm a lucky man," he said, kissing my head again.
Totoong naiintindihan ko. He was in the middle of juggling projects left and right when he left for our honeymoon. And knowing how workaholic he was, I already appreciated how he made so much time for me... for us. Hindi biro ang isang buwan na pagliban sa trabaho, lalo na't sa kanya nakasalalay ang lahat. Kaya ang konting pagsagot sa emails at pag-aayos ng problema sa kompanya tuwing gabi ay wala sa akin. I wouldn't hold it against him. He has already given me more than enough.
Nang humiwalay sa pagkakayakap, agad kaming naupo sa sofa. Nakahanda na ang video sa Youtube at kailangan na lang namin 'yon i-play.
Nag-Indian seat ako sa sofa habang si Xaiver ay maayos na naupo sa tabi ko. Ang isang braso niya'y nakapatong sa back rest ng sofa sa likuran ko.
Ibinigay ko kay Xaiver ang remote ng TV. "Ikaw na mag-play."
Kumunot ang noo niya nang lingunin ako. He didn't really look interested in watching our wedding video. Noong binalita sa amin na ngayon ia-upload 'yon, hindi man lang siya na-excite katulad ko.
"Ikaw na," masungit niyang sabi saka iniwas ang tingin.
He picked up the glass from the coffee table and sipped on his wine calmly. He looked so uninterested. Mariin ang titig niya sa telebisyon. Kahit na gusto niya akong samahan, mukhang hindi siya natutuwa.
Kaysa malungkot at magtampo ay lalo lang akong nangiti. Why do I feel like he's embarrassed to see our video?
"Nahihiya ka ba?" tanong ko, nakataas ang kilay at halos mapunit na ang mga labi sa pagngiti.
Lumalim ang mga linya sa noo ni Xaiver dahil sa tanong ko. Sumulyap sa akin, his eyes throwing daggers. "Why would I be?"
"Sige nga... I-play mo nga." Inabot ko ulit sa kanya ang remote bilang hamon.
Xaiver sighed heavily. Halatang labag sa loob niya ang pagkuha sa remote at pag-play sa video. He then threw the remote on the floor once it started playing.
Although I wanted to tease him more, the music coming from the video caught my attention. Nilingon ko na ang TV upang manood.
The wedding video started with drone shots of the beautiful Amanpulo. Mayroon ding montage ng mga ginamit naming damit at accessories noong kasal. The venue by the beach was also featured. Napangiti ako at itinaas ang dalawang tuhod para ipatong doon ang baba habang nanonood.
Watching the wedding took me back to that special day. Hindi lang iyon ang araw ng aming kasal, but also the day I started to acknowledge my feelings... the day Xaiver and I stopped playing pretend. Iyon ang araw na naging totoo ang lahat.
After the long montage, Xaiver unexpectedly appeared on the screen. His wedding vow that I had memorized so well overlapped the video when the background music faded out. I realized that he also had his own clips like I did. Hindi ko lang inakalang papayag siya sa ganoon. He hated being in front of the camera.
"Years back, we met by chance... accidentally crossing paths with you... and then we inevitably parted ways... until I stepped in, took control, and did the work of fate for us to happen..."
I bit my lower lip as I held my breath for a few seconds. Ipinakita si Xaiver na nakayuko at magkasalikop ang kamay habang nakaupo sa couch sa sarili niyang waiting room. Dahil mas kilala ko na siya, sa kabila ng seryosong ekspresyon, I could tell he was feeling nervous.
"Carrying a huge burden on my shoulders at a young age after a tragedy, I was forced to mature and grow up while keeping in mind the responsibilities of being the only son of my parents. All my attention was dedicated to work, and I was rewarded with countless opportunities, deals, partnerships, and awards."
Sumunod na ipinakita ang pagyakap niya sa kanyang ina. His father also wore a proud smile as he patted him on the back.
"I admit that every success gets into my head, and I'm the type who craves more accomplishments to feed my pride and ego. I don't have an ultimate goal. I want to continue striving until I exhaust all my passion and motivation for work."
Xaiver fixed his bow tie and straightened his coat before heading toward the door. Palabas na siya ng waiting room. Mas lalo ko siyang nakitaan ng nerbiyos. He didn't look like his usual confident self.
"Marriage did not cross my mind until I realized that I wanna marry you. It wasn't important to me. I even once thought that I wouldn't settle down with a family of my own."
He was already walking down the aisle. His lips were in a grim line. Diretso ang kanyang tingin kahit na mayroon na ring mga bisitang nakaupo. The rays of the golden sun touched his face, making the whole scene look as if it came straight out of a movie.
"But you gave me a huge slap and put my feet on the ground by making me face rejection. It was a bit embarrassing on my part, but it made me eager to pursue you more..."
Nangilid ang luha sa aking mga mata.
"And now... we're here."
The video showed a glimpse of my feet stepping on the sand, ready to walk toward him. There was a smooth transition after that, showing his reaction the moment he saw me.
"Thank you for marrying me..."
Unti-unting lumambot ang kanyang espresyon. His lips parted as his eyes were fixated on me. Nawala ang kaba na kanina ko pa nakikita. He looked so free... unrestrained. It was like he already let go of everything that weighed him down... like he unconsciously showed his true self without inhibitions and let his guard down.
"Today, I vow to be your Xaiver Dela Vega..."
Hindi ko na kinaya.
Yumuko ako at tumigil sa panonood. I hid my face on my knees. My chest tightened so much because of too much happiness that it hurt.
"Your husband."
Tahimik na bumuhos ang luha ko. Sinubukan kong pigilan ang mas lalong maiyak hanggang sa mahikbi na lamang. Wala na akong pakialam sa sumunod na parte ng video kahit na ako na 'yon. Ayaw ko nang manood. Kinarma ata ako agad sa pang-iinis ko sa kanya.
Naramdaman ko ang paggalaw ni Xaiver sa tabi ko. He sighed heavily before pulling me into his arms. "Why are you crying?" he asked quietly, filled with concern.
"Hindi k-ko alam..." sabi ko sa gitna ng paghikbi at mas lalong bumuhos ang luha. "I-ikaw kasi, e..." bawi ko bandang huli.
Xaiver chuckled huskily. Humiwalay siya konti upang hawakan ang magkabilang pisngi ko. He slowly lifted my head up to face him. He kissed my lips before I could open my eyes.
My vision was hazy due to tears. He gently wiped them until I could see him clearly. Marahan siyang ngumiti saka pinindot ang tungki ng aking ilong. He then smiled at me. Nakanguso pa rin ako at may iilang patak pa rin ng luha ang naglalandas sa aking mga pisngi.
"If only you're not on pills, I'm gonna think our little one is already inside you now," he said and pulled me into a warm embrace again.
Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi ko. Hinayaan ko lang siyang nakayakap sa akin. Tumigil na sa pagtulo ang luha ko dahil sa kanyang yakap. Our wedding video was still playing. Patapos na ang aking wedding vow.
"From your secretary, I vow to be your partner... your wife... your Mrs. Dela Vega," I heard me saying from the video.
Xaiver's embrace tightened. "Baby, you're making me fall in love with you more..."