⚘ Greatest showman. ⚘
I woke up before my alarm today. I had an alarm set today for six, since Felix told me last night we were going to have to be there by seven. I admit, I didn't get much sleep.
Me and Felix celebrated, but I refused to drink. I did not want to show up on my first day hungover, that would not be a good first impression. Or second. Whatever.
He told me that he admired me for that. For having enough self control that the mention of alcohol didn't make me want to get drunk. It kind of made me worry about his state, but we will not mention that today.
Today is about me. Today is about me and my new job. Is this a job? Can I call this a job? If I call my parents right now and tell them this is my job, will they be happy or will they tell me to get a real job? I guess I could consider this a job. I am getting paid... so I guess it's a job.
I roll out of bed, taking a deep breath. I stayed the night at Felix's, so I guess I should say I roll out of his bed. I have stayed over so many times that half of this house is basically mine, and I basically live here. Just like he lives at my place.
I head to the bathroom, where I can freshen up. I know I don't really have to do anything, like get dressed in professional clothes. I guess it's a job, just not as fancy. Actually, now that I think about it, what do I wear today?
Felix walks in, looking at me staring at myself in my mirror. He seems to be in a haze, like everybody else is in the morning. His hair is a mess. He is a mess. I want to laugh so badly.
"What are you doing?" I chuckle out, as he just stands there.
"I-" he starts, and stops. He yawns. "I don't really know. What are you doing?" He says, and takes a few steps closer. He turns to the mirror, so now we are both looking at ourselves in the mirror.
My eyes flicker to him in the mirror. "I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing." I say, and I can tell he just doesn't understand a word of it.
"Nice." He says. "I'm going to go make eggs."
I squint my eyes. He turns away, and trudges out of the bathroom. I just watch him as he walks away. I wonder what is going on in his mind right now. He seems like an empty can in the morning.
I sigh, and turn back to the mirror. I guess I should just do what I do everyday. I mean they didn't complain about how I looked at the audition, and I didn't even brush my hair then. So what does it matter now, really?
I decide that yes, I'm just going to go simple. I take a brush to my hair, brushing out the long black silk. I haven't cut my hair in a while, but I have actually grown a liking to having long hair.
I do what I always do, and tie my hair in a half-up-half-down style. The few front pieces fall out by themselves, and I let them be. I look at my complexion, and figure I'm just fine. I don't need to anything more, except wash my face of course.
After I've done everything I wanted to do, I exit the bathroom. I head over to the other side of the room and slide open the sliding mirror door. I take out a basic outfit- a pair of grey sweatpants, and a white long sleeve crewneck. I don't forget to add a black tee underneath incase I get hot, and try to ignore the way the collar peaks out.
Exiting the room, I can immediately smell Felix's eggs. I walk into the kitchen, and in the time it took me to get ready he made us both breakfast. I sit down next to him, thank him, and eat my food.
I want to ask Felix so many questions. I want to ask what they expect, if they are nice, how good they are at talking. For all I know, they could be a group of complete assholes or something.
I wait until I'm in the car to even mention anything.
"I'm so nervous." I say, buckling my seatbelt. I start the car, and wait for him to buckle his belt as well before I start to drive. It's about a twenty minute drive across town.
"Don't be." He chuckles, finally out of his haze after having a cup of coffee or two. "It's going to be fun. They're nice people. You also will learn a lot today, like everything you want to know- so I'm pretty sure it will all be okay."
"That's relieving." I say, letting out a breath. "I just hope I meet whatever expectations they set for me." I say. "I hope I don't disappoint."
"You? Disappoint? That's a joke." He chuckles. "You should see what they are saying in the group chat."
I snap my head to him. "They are talking about me?"
He looks to me with a smirk. "Would you like me to tell you how much they swoon over you, Hyunjin?" He asks, teasing me.
I turn away. "A little praise would be nice, yes."
He chuckles. "Well let's just say they were shocked to see you. One of them, I'm not saying who, said they would let you in just because your attractive. A few have called dibs- if you ever came out."
"My first day and I'm already an object." I say, but in a joking manner. "This is going so well. Maybe I shouldn't tell them I.. are they-?"
"No, they aren't homophobic." He shakes his head. "And yes, they called dibs. Shouldn't that right there tell you?" He turns to me, giving me the knowing look he always does.
"Okay." I say. I try to not let it bother me. I keep quiet for another minute, before I look to him when we are at a red light. I give in. "Okay.. so I'm not asking you to name any names... but-"
"But you want names?"
"I want names."
He chuckles. "Jisung." He says. "Jisung is eager, like really eager."
"Oh god." I chuckle. "The one who had his tongue out as he looked at me?" I ask, turning to him with a sly smile.
He chuckles. "I wasn't there, so I don't know. However, that does sound like Jisung. He's like five foot seven or something, with blue hair."
"So him." I say, humming.
I remember all the guys. The blue hair guy who opened the door, he was attractive. I haven't been actually been with a man, since I've only realized I liked men when I had a crush on Felix- but he doesn't match Felix at all.
I mean, don't take that the wrong way. I'm not in love with Felix, not all the men I like have to match him, I'm just saying he's different. However, my mind is stuck on that one guy. He has dark brown hair, and he has a sharp look to him.
But he is off. He was a little.. I don't know.
I guess I just have to find out.
And I will, because I am now waking into the building with Felix. Our arms are linked as we walk down the hall, heading to that same practice room. Felix looks at me before we go in.
"Are you ready?" He asks.
I nod. "I guess."
He just smiles. "Okay."
He turns to the door, opening it for me and him. Everyone's eyes immediately flick to us, and a few smiles erupt. The pit in my stomach is back, as everyone looks to us. I can see a few eyes flick to our interlocked arms.
"Felix." A guy says, a muscular guy at that.
He approaches us, and Felix smiles widely. He pulls away from me completely when he starts to walk to us. I watch as they hug, my eyes on both of them in front of me. He looks really happy in this room, I've never seen him like this. In fact, everyone looks happy when they see him.
"Hyunjin." I hear a voice say.
I kind of freeze, my heart dropping. However, I shake it off and turn to the voice. It's Chan, standing next to the muscular guy. He smiles at me, and reaches a hand out.
I take his hand, shaking it. "Chan."
He pulls away after chuckling. "Loosen up, you look nervous." He is a bit shorter than me, so he doesn't intimidate.
I chuckle. "I'm sorry."
"Chan, why are you making him apologize?" A voice sounds, and I turn to where it's coming from. It's Jisung, the blue haired guy. He gives me a sly smile when I look to him.
"I hope you remember me." He says, tilting his head to look at me. He is shorter than Chan, so he has to look up at me just a bit. I have to admit, his blue hair is a bit alluring..
"I do, Jisung." I say. I can't help but stare at him.
However, my eyes are pulled away when the door opens. I turn over to look who walked in, and that's when I see him. He catches my eye in a way Jisung doesn't, with his sharp features. He is taller than Chan, so he's not that short.
He looks at me, and we make eye contact. My breath hitches as he looks at me. However, he tears his eyes away from me and just walks away. I watch as he walks over and sits on the couch, not a word. A few looks to the other guys, but nothing much out of him.
"Okay." Chan claps his hands, and I tear my gaze away from the guy. I remember his name as Minho, if I'm correct.
"Let's all go sit over on the couch, so we can properly introduce ourselves to Hyunjin." He says, and motions to me.
I kind of get shy when everybody's eyes flick to me, all of them looking at me in different ways. They pull away, and all start to walk to the couch like Chan asked. I look to Felix, who walks over to me and takes my hand with a smile.
We sit down on the couch, me at the end next to Felix. The couch we are on sits four, so next to Felix is this guy with pink hair and a guy with brown hair. On the other couch, there is Jisung sitting next to the muscular guy, and then Chan next to him. At the very end, is Minho. If you look at it diagonally, me and him are facing each other.
"Okay," Chan says, noticing nobody else is going to speak up. "How about we just start with introductions, and we can ask any questions we want? If Hyunjin is going to be our member, we need to know him."
"Okay." The muscular guy nods, before he turns his eyes to me. "I'll go first, I'm Changbin. I'm twenty-three."
He turns to Jisung, who tilts his head. "He already knows me, probably better than anyone else but a Felix. But I'm Jisung, I'm twenty-two. Same age as Felix."
"Yeah, Hyunjin and I are the same age." Felix suddenly speaks up, patting my thigh. "So another twenty-two year old." He chuckles.
"Who are the others?" I finally speak up, tearing my gaze from Minho. I caught him staring at me when Jisung started to speak, and neither of us looked away.
"Me, you, Jisung, and Seungmin are all the same age." Felix says, looking to me. "Seungmin is the one with brown hair, right there." He points to the guy next to the guy with pink hair.
"Okay." I say, and sit up straight. "So Felix," I look to Felix, and then the guy next to him. I tilt my head at the pink haired guy.
He blushes, I'm guessing at the sudden attention. "Jeongin." He says, softly.
I smile. "Jeongin, okay." I look to Seungmin, and then everybody else. "Seungmin, Changbin, Jisung, Chan.. and..?" My eyes pause on Minho. I figure with the way he's glaring at me, I want him to tell me his name before I reveal I know it.
He raises a brow at me. Chan just sighs, and turns to me. "His name is Minho." He says. "He is our greatest showman, but he is a little.."
"I can tell him my name myself, Chan." Minho speaks.
His voice is just like I expected. A bit deep, and I like that. I honestly just like everything about him. He's nice to look at, and listen to. But his attitude ruins almost everything.
"Okay." I say, and try to look away without giving him any other reaction. However, my eyes did linger on him a bit longer. "Why doesn't he speak that much?" I ask Chan, genuinely curious. I don't think about the consequences.
Chan opens his mouth to speak, but Minho beats him to it. "Do I have to?" He asks, a cockiness in his tone.
I tilt my head at the reaction. We keep our eyes locked, and his expression tells me he is a bit amused. I raise a brow. "I guess I would prefer you to." I say simply. "But that's not a -"
"I don't give a shit about what you prefer." He spits with a glare.
I shut up immediately. He keeps his eyes on me, tilting his head with his eyebrows raised at me. It takes a few seconds for it to set in, how much of an asshole he must be. I scoff. "What is your-"
"Can you not pick a fight with him on his first day?" Chan asks, turning to Minho. "Give him a break Minho, you did this to Felix."
"Yeah, but I like Felix." Minho says, giving a little smile to Felix, before he turns to me. "I don't like this guy, Hyunjin or whatever." He says, crossing his arms as he stares at me.
I chuckle dryly. "That's unreasonable." I say, my legs crossed. "What have I done for you to not like me? Look at you? Come on.. grow up." I say to him. I can't believe I have to deal with this on my first day.
Everyone seems a bit uncomfortable, except Jisung. He seems amused, for whatever reason that is. I can feel Felix pull on my arm, probably signaling me to just stop.
I sigh, and turn to Chan. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to start anything if that's what-"
"Oh, what a good boy." Minho mocks. "He's saying sorry." He pouts teasingly.
I hate to admit it, but I found that a bit.. whatever. I try to ignore what his words and tone do to me. I cross my legs a bit more, squeezing them together. "I'm not even going to bother." I say, looking down to my lap instead.
It's taking everything in me to not stand up, reach over, and slap him. What the hell is the problem? Did I say something? Did I break some kind of rule? What the hell is going on? All I know, is I'm going to try and stay calm. I don't want him to think he won or something by getting me mad again.
Felix puts a hand on my thigh. He leans into me, whispering in my ear. "Trust me, he treated me worse than this. It goes away, just stick around and let it go."
I nod, but I don't know if I can, Felix, I don't know if I can.
-
i can't write arguments tbh
but i also feel bad making minho so bitchy, since he is so sweet irl ;(