Friday 9th April, 1977
Regulus wasn't sleeping well. He'd gotton large bags under his eyes, more obvious and defined than his usual ones. He'd been spending less time on his hair and often went to class with it almost as messy as James's. His skin tone was paler than normal, which was saying something since he was usually very pale. He almost looked like a corpse.
I'd found myself spending more and more time around the places I knew Regulus was going to be, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. I'd hang out near the stairwell to the dungeons, or the hallway on the seventh floor where our spot used to be. It still wasn't there, but sometimes I caught Regulus walking by, as if checking it was still gone.
I hated the longing I felt whenever I saw him. The need to be around him, to touch him, to tell him how much I missed him. He was right; I broke up with him. I needed to start acting like it, like being away from him wasn't breaking my heart.
One good thing about this whole mess was Dorcas. We'd gotton a lot closer recently, and she normally hung out with me, Lily, Mary, and Marlene, turning our group of 4 into 5. I wasn't sure if she was hanging out in that group now because of me, though, or because of Marlene. Either way it was very entertaining to see Dorcas turn into a blushing mess whenever Marlene did so much as smile her way.
It was the last day of school before the Easter Holidays, and Sirius, James, and I were all going home to see our parents. Remus and Peter were also going home and would be coming round a lot over the holidays. I was secretly hoping that being away from Regulus would help lessen the pain of the breakup. Like if he wasn't around as much, I'd think about him less often and end up forgetting he existed all together.
I had just finished eating breakfast with James and Sirius when they both stood up, urging me to follow their actions because we needed to go. I did so almost reluctantly, having not seen Regulus today and wanting to catch one last glimpse of him before I left.
As if hearing my thoughts, as we turned a corner I spotted Regulus entering the library. He looked tired, yet still beautiful, and I wanted to say goodbye. I really wanted to say goodbye, to at least talk to him one last time, but as we walked past the library, I didn't stop. It wouldn't do me any good, spending more time with him only to get upset we weren't together anymore, so it was best not to do it, no matter how much I wanted to.
We arrived at Professor McGonagall's door right on time and knocked, waiting for permission before entering. When we did, McGonagall stood near her fireplace, a box of floo powder in her hands. She held it out when we entered.
"Alright, take some floo powder. One at a time now."
James went first, followed by Sirius until I was the only one left. I took a handle of powder and walked into the fireplace, squeezing my eyes shut as I spoke my destination out loud and dropped the powder.
I felt the familiar woozy feeling that accompanied floo travel and waited a few seconds for it to wear off. When I opened my eyes I was standing in the fireplace in my loungeroom, my parents currently preoccupied with hugging the life out of Sirius and James.
As soon as my mother had her first glance of me, I could tell she knew. Somehow, someway, with just one glance, she knew what had happened. Knew that I was struggling with heartbreak. Knew that right now, I needed a mother's hug.
She moved forward and wrapped her arms around me in a firm grip, embracing me into her warmth. I let myself melt in her arms, hugging her back just as tightly as I inhaled her comforting scent. I felt safe here, loved, and wanted to bury myself deeper into the sense of security I got whenever my mother hugged me. It was like her arms were forcefields, and none of the problems I had could get to me while she hugged me.
Eventually I had to pull away though, and as soon as I did all my woes returned to me, weighing me down. Effie gave me a long stare, one that promised a talk later, before turning to Sirius and enveloping him into a hug that he eagerly returned.
I focused on greeting my dad who also brought me into a warm embrace, though he seemed clueless to my problems as he yabbered happily about the new improvements he'd made to the potion he was working on.
Once we'd all gotton unpacked and settled in, Sirius, James, and Fleamont left to go play quidditch in the backyard and my mother beckoned me to the couch where we both sat down.
Without even asking, my mother managed to make me confess everything that happened between Regulus and I, including our relationship and eventual breakup, all with just one look. I managed to avoid saying Regulus's name, yet for some reason I got the feeling that she somehow knew it was Regulus I was talking about.
Effie pulled me into a hug that ended up with me just laying on her chest while she stroked my hair. My eyes were closed as I relaxed, feeling better with my mother around.
"You know, Fleamont and I broke up about three times in school alone," she said.
My eyes snapped open as I lurched forward, turning to look my mother in the eye with shock. I would have never guessed my parents had broken up even once. Their relationship was the sort of love James and I looked up to, the sort of romance we craved for our own, one that lasted decades and was always full of surprises. To know that they'd had enough problems between them to break up, even once, was shocking beyond measure.
"What? How?" I questioned.
"When we were teenagers, your father and I were both very... hot headed people with strong personalities. Often we'd clash with one another, because we hadn't grown up yet and didn't know what else to do. At one point, something Flea had and been doing was hurting me a lot, and when he refused to stop, we broke up. That break up lasted a while, long enough for your father to realise that he hadn't been fair to me with how he acted. So he found me again, and together we worked through the problem to come up with a good solution for us both. Compromising, its called."
"But mum, my... friend, doesn't want to compromise. He doesn't want to do anything that would involve confronting his parents, which is the only way we can think of that would get him out of the engagement," I said.
My mother smiled sadly at me and pulled me back to her chest, continuing to softly stroke my hair. "Yes, sweetheart, I know. The thing is, if he's had all this time to think about what's happened and still doesn't want to help come to a reasonable solution for you both, then he is simply not worth your time."
"But I want him to be worth my time," I confessed quietly. "I don't want to forget about him or pretend like he never existed."
"I know sweetheart," my mother assured me. "I'm sorry things can't go your way."
I stayed like that for a while longer with my mother, safe in her cocoon of warmth, until she needed to get started on dinner.
"Would you like to help me?" she asked.
"Sure," I agreed.
My mother and I were both in the midst of cooking when the boys came back inside from quidditch, just in time too, because then the doorbell rang and Remus and Peter arrived. The four boys had decided that the kitchen was the best place to be, and so as I helped cook their dinner, they were over here pestering me with questions and queries. My mother said they enjoyed spending time with me; I said they enjoyed annoying me.
No matter the reason, the four boys stayed around the kitchen, eventually being accompanied by Fleamont who was the only one who offered to help cook. I wasn't going to settle for that, though, and in turn made each marauder help cook at least one part of the meal. By the end of the day everyone had contributed to dinner, making it taste all that much better knowing it was family made, because let's be honest, Peter and Remus had become lifelong members of the family long ago.
The rest of the evening went by smoothly and before I knew it I was in my bed, wrapped up in blankets and slowly drifting off. Though I still missed Regulus, I'd had a good day.
It was nice, being with my family again.
A/N:
two updates in one day???
yes.
i am in a generous mood so here you are. enjoy. savour the fluff while you can.