CHAPTER 19
ALESSANDRO D'ANGELO
"Now it's late Sebastian Smith." Antonio answered. I knew at that instant what he had done.
I hung up.
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck!
No Antonio. No.
I sat on the chair not knowing what to do.
He killed Sebastian. He fucking killed Sebastian Smith.
No.
Indeed he has helped the gang a lot by ending Sebastian's life but he has taken my everything away from me by doing this.
I have to take responsibility for this whole act of his. Being the leader I have to take the responsibility or I'll be proven a weak leader who can't control his gang.
Fucking hell!
And if I accept it's me who ordered Antonio to kill Sebastian, Ari will never forgive me.
Christ! What should I do?
It's either Ari or my business.
No.
No.
My phone rang snapping me out of my thoughts... It was Diego.
"Signore." His voice sounded impatient.
"I know Diego." I doubt my voice was even audible.
"Signore, he did something against your orders." He stated.
"Should I kill my own brother for that?"
"That's not what I meant."
"I'll be in the mansion in a few hours. Nobody should know this murder was against my orders." I instructed him.
"But, you didn't Signore. Why would you do that?"
"Just do as I say Diego." I hung up the call.
I made my way back to the bedroom to dress up and leave for the mansion but as soon as I entered the bedroom Ari was seated on the bed lost in her thoughts. Without a single word I made my way towards the closet.
"Aless." She called.
I stopped.
I can't face her now.
"Ari, can we not talk now?" I spoke, my back towards her.
"I j-just wanted to say sorry... for what S-Seb did to your people."
"I-It's fine." I was about to go again but she stopped me.
Why do you have to talk so much, Ari?
"N-No. It's for me I know you can't hurt him and I-I do feel guilty about it... but please don't hurt Seb. He means a lot t-to me. P-Please Aless."
I closed my eyes, fisting my hands.
He is dead.
I felt a soft touch on my hand, she leaned her head on my shoulder "He has done a lot for me, please Aless."
I know. I know what he means to you, that was the only reason I was stopping myself from killing him.
"Ari let go."
She shook her head "I'm sorry."
"I need to go to the mansion... let go."
Again she shook her head "This once, forgive him."
"Ari, if it ever comes as a choice for me to choose between you and the mafia, I want you to know I'll choose the mafia."
I made my way inside the closet, as soon as I was in I took a deep breath.
What have you done, Antonio? This time for your actions you wouldn't need a save instead I need one.
I have to think something before the worst happens.
First, taking care of the whole situation because questions are going to arise from the detective's side because it's their senior cop who died.
Second, I have to let everyone know the whole idea of killing Sebastian was mine... being the leader I can't let people think I don't have control over my own brother.
And my last priority will be keeping Ari to myself. I have already lost her and this fact can't be hidden from her for too long.
Taking off my t-shirt, I extended my hand to get another shirt, when hands wrapped around my waist and I felt a head on my back.
"I know you will choose the mafia but try to keep me to yourself too. You sound like I don't even matter to you."
You do... you matter to me the most in this world.
I held her hand that was on my waist. "What if I do something which forces you to hate me for the rest of your life?"
"It won't. I know you won't do anything to hurt me."
I am sorry Ari. I am so sorry.
I turned towards her and cupped her face in my hands "I love you, Ari."
I know I shouldn't have said this but I am scared, I am scared of losing this woman. I am scared she would leave me once she knows the truth.
Her eyes widened at my confession.
I know I shouldn't have said it but I did, I just couldn't stop myself.
For the first time in my life I have said these three words to someone other than Dad.
"Aless?" Was all she could utter.
I kissed her cheek "I love you." My lips traced over her jaw. "I love you baby, I love you so much."
"I love you." I hugged her tightly.
Christ! I am scared.
I am scared of losing Ari.
"Is everything alright?" She asked.
I nodded "Yeah, just fine." I tightened my hold on her.
She pushed me lightly making me pull away, I looked down at her "Tell me, what's wrong?"
"I just confessed my love to you and you are asking me what's wrong?"
"It's a strange thing coming from you. You don't say it just like that."
I leaned in capturing her lips in mine. My lips moved against hers in a passionate way. I pushed her, her back hit the closet door placing both my hands on either side of her. I started kissing her like there's no other day. The kiss became slower finally I paused pulling away from the kiss.
She was breathing heavily, I looked at her to find those beautiful brown orbs fixed on me.
"Aren't you happy to hear the confession?"
"Yes I am, but you don't look good. What's wrong?"
I hugged her "I love you, just know I won't ever do anything to hurt you."
"I know."
I couldn't leave the house because if I did surely after getting the news of Sebastian's death the first person Ari would suspect is me.
I called Diego telling him I would be at the mansion tomorrow morning.
When I woke up, the first thing I did was check my phone for the news updates but there were none.
Sighing in relief, I looked beside me at Ari, she was sleeping with her hand resting on my chest, the duvet covering her naked body.
I smiled.
I love this woman more than anything.
I pulled her closer to me "Good Morning."
Still with eyes closed she hugged me and replied "Morning."
"It's eight you need to go to work."
"I'm sleepy. So sleepy." She mumbled, enjoying the warmth of my body.
I chuckled "Such a baby, you are."
Her eyes opened to look at me, she glared "I ain't a baby, I think last night I very well showed you what I am capable of doing."
I smiled, "What are we talking about here?"
"You don't know, what are we talking about? Should I show you again?" She said almost daring me.
"As far as I would love it if you show me but I have work and you too need to work so you can show me in the night I guess again... or wait how about I take control over you tonight totally different from last night."
Her face turned red, she tried her best to suppress the smile that was on her lips but it seemed difficult for her.
"Nope. I liked last night, I can do it again tonight. It'll be fun... controlling Alessandro D'Angelo. Do you want to see it again?"
"I'll tell you at night what I want to see." I said getting up from the bed. She sat up on the bed as soon as she did that the duvet fell from her body exposing her naked chest.
I looked away trying my best not to get hard for this woman again. She got down off the bed and wrapped her arms around my waist... let me mention it again she's naked, like completely naked and I am hard already.
"I love you." She kissed me, my hands slipped to her waist pulling her closer.
I picked her up in my arms "Let's take a bath together... saving water."
She rolled her eyes "Are we just bathing?"
Making my way towards the washroom I spoke "About that I have a doubt. You can be wild sometimes."
"Shut up." I laughed when she hit my chest in embarrassment.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I was in my office waiting impatiently for her call. Till now it's confirmed that she knows about Sebastian's death... I am just waiting for the call.
The news of his death is on the internet.
There was a knock on the door, I muttered a 'come in', my assistant came inside the office with a file in her hand. She placed the file on the desk "Mr. D'Angelo, this is your schedule for the day."
I nodded, picking up the file.
"And there's a meeting with the Japanese clients at night. I have made the reservations in the usual restaurant."
I nodded again.
"And a meeting in thirty minutes."
"A meeting now?" I asked checking the time on my watch.
"Yes, Mr. D'Angelo. It's about the recent project with the Abella's you said you'll be checking today."
"Yes, I will be completing it today. There's already been a lot of delay with this project, I don't want any further delay."
She nodded.
"Anything else?"
"That will be all, Sir."
"Ask everyone to get ready with the presentations in the meeting room, this floor."
She nodded and left the room.
I busied myself with work, almost forgetting about Ari or anything even happened. After some like thirty minutes, I got up from my seat and adjusted my suit jacket making my way towards the door. As I was about to open the door, it opened itself revealing... Ari... looking very much broken.
Few guards and my assistant were behind her, I guess they were chasing her. As far as I know Ariana, she can do anything to get what she wants. So it's not something unexpected. Everyone stopped on their way when they saw me.
My breath hitched as she stood in front of me looking straight in my eyes, her eyes watery. It seemed like the usual Ari I know wasn't this woman.
I was ready to take the blame. For her to blame me for Sebastian's death... but if she does that in front of the whole company I will lose this company, the clean title I have maintained till now would be gone... but then again I have to take the blame.
She took slow steps towards me, it looked like her legs had given up. She was unable to even take one step... Jesus! Just do it Ari. Just slap me, fight me, do whatever you want. Let's just get over it.
"Ari I-" I opened my mouth to speak but was being hugged by her. Not hugged exactly, it's like she needed someone to just hold her body. If I wouldn't have held her she would've fallen.
I looked in front to find everyone staring at us with wide eyes.
"Ari." I called.
"I-It's over. Everything is over." She mumbled in my arms.
Does she even know who was behind Sebastian's death?
"Ari, what's wrong?"
She held me "It's over, Aless. It's all over." I could hear her voice breaking.
I looked in the front, signalling the guards and the assistant to leave. They nodded once and left.
It looked like she wasn't even able to stand properly. I held her dragging her inside the office. Making her sit on the sofa, I kneeled in front of her cupping her face in my hands.
"What's wrong, Ari?" Though I know what the matter is, I just didn't want to say it. I am scared of accepting the truth.
She cried more, hiding her face in her hands "S-Sebastian." Saying the name she cried, unable to speak.
"I can't understand, what is it.... Ari?" I am sorry Ari but to keep you to myself I have to pretend.
"S-Someone k-killed Seb." She hugged me as she completed this sentence.
Just pretend.
Just pretend.
Damien.
Just pretend.
"What?" I asked.
"S-Seb is gone Aless, S-Seb is gone." This time I hugged her back pulling her to me but by this action of mine she fell down on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. She cried out loud in my arms. Now I was sitting on the floor with Ariana on my lap hugging me and crying her heart out.
"Ari, control yourself."
"He is gone. He is gone Aless. Forever."
Shit! When I tell her I am behind Sebastian's death, she won't forgive me.
She'll hate me.
Damn!
I placed my hand on her chin picking her face up "Hey, listen it'll be okay." Again she hid her face on my chest.
"N-Nothing c-can be okay. I-It's over." She kept muttering the same thing again and again.
I heard a knock on the door, and I replied "Sì."
("Yes.")
My assistant entered the room, I was still holding Ari in my arms while she was crying. As my assistant saw us her eyes widened, never have I been on the floor especially with someone in my arms... consoling someone was never my thing. But today I have been waiting for her whether it's consoling or it's taking the blame.
She stood in front of me looking down at us "Mr. D'Angelo, the meeting. Everyone's waiting." As she spoke, Ari's hold on me shirt tightened clearly, not wanting to let go.
"Leave." I ordered.
"You said it's important."
"Just leave and schedule another one for tomorrow." She kept standing as she was about to speak again, I said "Leave I said."
She left immediately.
"Ari, look at me." She didn't.
"Ari, look at me, please." She raised her gaze to look at me with those teary eyes.
"I know you are hurt, I know what he meant to you but please you have to be strong." These words... These are not my words. They can't be.
I am not used to saying this kind of stuff to anyone.
She stared at me with tears rolling down her cheeks "He left me. He left me all alone... how unlucky can I be Aless? My Mom Dad considered me as a burden and the only person who loved me left me."
"Stop crying, please. I am here for you Ari."
She hugged me "I love you. I love you, don't ever leave me. Please. It hurts. It hurts so much to know the person you love is no more."
"I know. It does." Was all I could say
ARIANA D'ANGELO
I laid on the bed with my phone in hand going through the same news again and again. My cheeks were wet from crying, tear stains I guess visible. In short, I am a complete mess right now.
Looking at the news, I was just wishing this whole thing to be a bad dream and Seb would come back to me. It's his funeral tomorrow and I have to be there. I don't know how I am gonna stay strong at the funeral... It's so fucking difficult.
Sebastian Smith was the person I have known since I was 16. Since then he has been my only friend, when everyone hated me he was the one who showed affection towards me. When my own father hurt me, he calmed me down and now he is gone. He is never gonna come back to me again. Never.
"Ma'am, the dinner is ready." A female voice appeared from behind. I didn't even hear the door unlocking.
Not replying, I decided to just stay as I was.
"Sir is asking you to join him for dinner." She spoke again.
"Tell him I ain't hungry." I replied.
I heard the door shut from behind, she left. I closed my eyes wishing I would forget everything that happened but it's not that easy.
At night I fell asleep suddenly I was feeling cold, I pulled the duvet to cover my body but it was still so cold... I was too tired to even open my eyes. I stayed on the bed, shivering.
I remember being pulled towards something really warm which I liked. I liked the warmth and moved closer to the source. But all the warmth was suddenly taken away from me and I felt a hand on my head slowly making me open my eyes.
"C-Cold. I am c-cold." It was Aless looking at me all worried.
His hands traced my hair lightly. He placed a kiss on my forehead "You'll be alright, Ari."
"I am cold. So cold." I pulled his hand towards me resting it on my cheek, liking the warmth I was getting. "You are warm." I was barely able to open my eyes. "Warm me."
"I'll call the doctor."
"No. Warm me."
"Ari, you are sick."
"You know what, go. Just go. Leave me like everyone else. I don't need you."
I was right in one way... everyone does leave me. Dad never loved me, Mom never did, neither did my sisters. And when I was lucky to find someone who actually did love me, who cared for me I lost him.
But it is not true that I don't need him. I do need him, more than anyone. If he leaves I don't think I can stay sane anymore.
"I won't leave you, Jesus! What are you even saying?!"
I turned my back towards him, again tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Just go like everyone else did. Like Dad did, l-like Seb did." My voice was breaking.
"Neither I am your Dad nor Sebastian, to leave you." He spoke from behind. I wiped my tears not turning around.
I felt him laying on the bed beside me. Before I could even realise he pulled me towards him, my back hitting his chest. He wrapped both his arms around me, his hot breath hitting my neck. His scent, his warmth... I love feeling it.
"It's okay Ari. It's okay."
I shook my head "It's not. It's not. He is dead." I whispered.
"I can't bring him back. All I can do is stay with you. I know it hurts to lose the person you love but Ari we have to accept it no matter how hurtful it may be. You can cry one day, two days or even a week but then you have to move on sometime or the other."
"Can you stop talking, please?"
I just want him to shut up. I don't want him to show me the reality.
His hold on me tightened "I know I'm being an ass by saying this now but I have been through this and I know how it feels, it's just gonna hurt and hurt. It'll keep hurting if you don't share it with someone. I never did and look at me now. You don't want to become like me now, do you?"
Slowly I turned back facing him, I moved closer towards him placing both my hands on his chest. At the very same time his hand slid in my waist.
"I miss him." He stared at me while my eyes remained on him.
I feel so weak. So so weak. What if he too leaves me? I'll be all alone in this world.
"I-I am scared."
His eyes remained fixed on mine, waiting for me to continue.
"I am scared of losing you. I am scared t-that you too are going to leave me like Seb did, l-like my Dad did."
"Everyone just leaves, S-Seb promised once that he would never leave me but he did. What if you too-" I just couldn't bring myself to complete the sentence. It's scary to even think about it.
"I won't. Never. Unless you push me away."
I stared at him.
'Unless you push me away.'
What does that even mean? I would never push him away.
I moved closer to him, trying to hide myself in his arms. His body feels so warm, his scent is so addicting, I feel protected... I want to be wrapped in these arms forever.
"He's gone Aless. He's gone." I cried with my head on his chest, almost hiding my face. And as always he does, he hugged me back. As always he tries to comfort me, he did the same. I know this is not his thing, he feels awkward to show sympathy towards others still he tries his best to always be with me whenever I need this man.
"You didn't have dinner, Ari."
"Is it important now, really?" I spoke with my hoarse voice from crying.
"Yes, I guess."
I raised my head to look at him, "I am sad Aless."
"I know, but you can't skip your meal."
I told you all, he doesn't know how to show sympathy and in this awkwardness he says things he shouldn't.
Not replying back, I hid my face back on his chest, closing my eyes trying to fall asleep as if that would help me forget today.
"Let me sleep."
I heard him sighing, but tightened his hold on my waist.
The next day I was in no condition to get up from the bed and go to work. Aless had a meeting so he left early before I even woke up so no one was there to force me to get up from the bed. Bruno, Nick, Fred everyone called me but I just laid on the bed not picking any call. I tried to make myself let go of what happened but it's just so difficult... so much difficult.
Suddenly I heard my phone ringing, expecting it to be the same people I picked the phone up to cut the call but stopped when I saw the name... Aless.
I picked up the call and placed it on my ear, not uttering a word.
"Ari? Are you there?"
"What do you want?"
"Where are you? Did you not go to work?"
"No I didn't." I answered expecting him to hang up but he didn't.
"Why?"
"It's my job, so that's mine to decide you are no one Aless."
He just remained silent neither scolding me for these words nor even fighting me. He was still on the call but wasn't saying a word.
When we both didn't talk he hung up the call.
Again I laid back on the bed closing my eyes.
I don't know why I am being rude to others, this is so not me. But one thing is continuously affecting me again and again and that one thing is too hard to bear.
While thinking about these things I don't remember when I fell asleep. My eyes opened feeling a soft touch on my head, when I looked at the person it was Aless, sitting on the bed beside me wearing a white shirt with sleeves rolled up and black pants. His hands continuously tracing on my hair gently.
I stared at him for a moment, then again closed my eyes.
"Ari, you need to get up. Since the morning you have been lying on the bed."
I sat up "Why are you having a problem with that? I didn't do anything to ruin your reputation."
"Stop, Ari. I am trying to be nice to you."
"Why? That's my point why all of a sudden you are being nice? Why are you even here? Go back to your company. I don't fucking need you."
He didn't reply, instead he got up on the bed and pulled me towards himself.
"What are you doing?" I tried fighting him.
He made me sit on his lap, I kept hitting him again and again on his chest to get out of his hold but it was like all my fights weren't affecting him.
"Let go."
"Let go of me."
I stopped hitting at a point of time and covered my face with my hands hiding my face in the crook of his neck.
"Let go of me, please."
"No. Not today, not ever."
When he said those words I just couldn't stop myself, tears formed in my eyes and within a few seconds I was crying a mess wrapped like a ball on his lap. I don't know for how long I was seated in his arms, for how long he held me in his arms and how long I cried. He has seen me in my worst times.
Finally, it felt like after ages I stopped crying. He didn't once ask me to stop, I was just held in strong arms feeling protected, calmed as never before.
I raised my head to look up at him, he too looked down at me. All we did was stare at each other, this Aless is so new to me. He was bearing me, literally bearing my tantrums. This morning I said so many bad things to him but here he is with me holding me close to himself.
"I am sorry." I spoke finally.
"What for?"
"This morning, I-I s-shouldn't have said so much."
"It's okay. Will you stop crying now? It's enough." Not that he was angry, though it sounded like an order but I know it was a plea.
My face slowly went closer to his, he went stiff for a moment. I placed my lips on his, my hand cupping his face while lips slowly moving against his. He didn't make any move to kiss me harder or to pull away, he just stayed with eyes closed letting me deepen the kiss.
Pulling away I said "I love you, Aless."
He wrapped his hand around my arm pulling me closer. I felt my eyes closing slowly enjoying the warmth I was getting.
"Goodnight, Ari."
*****
a/n : Sorry I am a bit late with this update.
Hope you liked the chapter.
See ya in the next one.
❣️