I left my room and went towards the lake where she was. When I got there I didn't see her, I looked around and nothing. Suddenly someone touched my hand and when I turned around there she was.
"Were you looking for me?" Natasha asked still with my hand in hers.
"I was."
We stared at each other until she broke eye contact.
"If we are going to talk it better be in a quieter place and where your brother won't see us if he can't find it suspicious, being that in his sight we were never very close" She started walking and pulling me further into the woods behind the house. We walked for some time and always in silence. "I don't think anyone will be able to see or hear us here anymore. So what do you want to talk about?" she asked moving closer to me and never letting go of my hand.
I looked away trying to ignore the racing beat of my heart. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...
"Nothing, we better get back"
I was about to start walking back to the house when she tugged on my hand.
"You're lying. Your body language is telling me something different. What is it, Alex?" Natasha looked into my eyes as if she was looking into my soul.
"I told you it's nothing, let's go" I tried to pull on my hand but it did no good, it only made us get even closer. My lips almost touching hers.
"You know that's not true. And we both know why we're here" Her other hand touched my cheek. "I know why I am here. And I'm going to give you what you came here looking for"
Without me expecting it her lips captured mine in a kiss that was deep and intense but also delicate and tender.
I should have pulled away and stopped it there but, for once in my life, I let my heart command and kissed her back. With everything I had in me, I kissed her, trying with the kiss to explain what I couldn't put into words.
"Forgive me...but I can't" And with that she left me. Walked away...
And the next thing I knew, a tear was running down my cheek.
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The next morning on the jet, everyone was quiet.
For a few moments I went to the back to get a drink when I was stopped.
"But it's just that there's no way I'm letting you drink" Yelena took the glass from my hand and made me sit on one of the couches a little away from Atlas and Natasha. "I suppose it didn't go well...what happened?"
"It turns out...I put my heart on the line, and it was rejected..." I smiled miserably at her and picked up my glass again. "I need to drink, Yelena. Even if it's just one glass."
"Alex-"
"Please...." I asked looking at her and Yelena stood staring at me with her mouth open. A tear was running down my cheek once again.
"Alex....oh come here" She pulled me into a tight hug. "It's going to be okay, you're going to be okay"
After that I eventually fell asleep on her lap and didn't wake up until we landed in New York.
"Try not to think about it too much...later on talk to Wanda maybe she can help you better than I can" She hugged me once again when Natasha was already waiting for her in one car and Atlas waiting for me in another.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine" I gave her my best smile and started to walk to the varro but I swear I could have heard her sighing 'No you won't...'
As I got to the car Atlas started teasing me but I didn't even have the strength to answer him back.
"Are you done talking to little girlfriend?" he laughed looking back and I simply nodded. "Are you okay?" Again I simply nodded.
We began the hunt for suits his and mine, being that I would be a bridesmaid and considering that I would not be wearing a dress.
For a while we went from store to store until he made up his mind. And our suits were literally the same, the only difference was that his blazer was white and mine was black.
Back home I headed quietly to my room. And not long after that Wanda appeared.
"Yelena already told me...how are you holding up?" she lay next to me on the bed waiting for an answer from me.
"I don't think I need to answer you that" I sighed closing my eyes tightly so that no more tears decided to run down my face.
"Oh Alex..." She pulled my body close to hers hugging me and petting my hair. "You are in no condition to be at the wedding tomorrow"
"I need to go...the day after tomorrow I am going back to London and I don't intend to return..." I spoke without thinking about what I was saying but after realizing what had just come out of my mouth I agreed with myself.
"Running away is not a solution, Alex. You have never run away from anything in your entire life, and you can't start doing it now" She spoke and faced me seriously. "I won't let you do it"
"You don't have to, Wanda. It's a decision that's already made." I stood up giving her my back.
"Then I'm too late...you've already left...you've already given up" After she said this she got up and walked out the door.
Later that day, I went to the training room to try and relax a bit but while the music in my ears should have given me more strength to keep going it stopped me when a part of the song said 'I hope you both feel the sparks by the end of the drive, I hope you know he's the one by the end of the night, I hope you never ever felt more free, Tell your friends that you're so happy, I hope he comes along and wrecks every one of your plans, I hope he spends his last dime to put a rock on your hand, I hope he's wilder than your wildest dreams, He's everything you're ever gonna need, And then I hope he cheats, Like you did on me, And then I hope he cheats, Like you did on me'
Shit...I thought. Even the damn songs remind me of her.
Obviously I stopped training and went to take a shower to try to relax, once again.
After that I fell asleep and in the morning I was woken up by Yelena, who was leaning over my bed.
"Time for you to wake up Alex" I gave her a kiss on the forehead and got up with no energy at all. I put on my suit and when I turned to Yelena she looked me up and down. "You and your damn suit" she pulled me to herself. "One last kiss" And with that she gave me a short kiss on the lips. "Your brother plus the boys are waiting for you in the living room, we are going a few minutes later, so see you in a bit"
I met up with them and we headed to central park. We were all in position when the music started playing and I automatically turned to the beginning of the red carpet on the grass and saw her.
Natasha in a beautiful white lace dress.
My heart started pounding and I swear I must have been close to having a heart attack. She looked beautiful, like an angel. An angel that was not meant to be mine.
She started walking and it seemed like time had gone into slow motion, and I wished...wished it was me in Atlas' place, wished it was me she was now walking to, wished I could be the one to put the ring on her finger....As she reached him, our gazes met and we quickly looked away. And suddenly, the priest had already begun to speak.
Priest: "Boy, say it with me. Me Atlas"
"I Atlas"
Priest: "Take Natasha Romanoff"
"Take Natasha Romanoff"
Priest: "My lawfully wedded wife in sickness and in health till death part us"
"My lawfully wedded wife in sickness and in health till death part us"
Priest: "Now Natasha, repeat after me. I Natasha"
"I Natasha"
Priest: "Take Atlas Grey"
And suddenly, as the priest spooke, her gaze crossed mine again and this time she didn't look away.
"Take Alex Grey-"
Fuck, I don't know if I'm glad she spoke my name instead of my brother's or not.
"What did you just say, Natasha?" Atlas looked between me and her and just as he was about to speak again shots were heard.
My brother and the others started running towards the place of the shots and as I was about to look at Natasha to see how she was doing, I came across a gun pointed at my head.
"I guess deep down I always knew that you were a spy between us" I said putting my hands in my pockets as I stared at her expression that should have been cold and calculating but it was the opposite, tears were running down her face.
"Why didn't you stop me? Why?!" She cried out sighing.
"I couldn't...I'd rather know I lived in a lie with you than not have" I sighed back this time not maintaining eye contact.
"Why don't you hate me?" Natasha asked still holding her gun steady.
"Nothing in this world could ever make me hate you, although I wish I could" I looked into her beautiful green eyes again.
"Why?"
"Because hating you would hurt less than being in love with every single inch of you" I spoke looking her right in the eyes as I felt tears streaming down my face.
And that was the last thing I said before I felt a pain in my head and fell inanimate to the floor.