Townes' POV
No one tells you about the silence that comes with someone's passing. How the worlds seems to pause on that single moment of realizing they are gone. Nothing can fill the void, not even daylight.
My grandpa had passed of a stroke. He was looking right at my grandmother when it happened. I kept imagining how that must have felt for her. Seeing it happen and not being able to do anything.
A weeks worth of shows were rescheduled, Harry refusing to find a temporary pianist for them. He had been by my side through it all. I don't think I could remember what it felt like to have my left hand free as my own, because it was interlaced with his since the moment we got up off that floor at my apartment. He was by my side every second of every hour and I didn't mind. I needed that support, I needed that person that was going to keep me moving forward.
We didn't talk about the night of Sarah and Mitch's engagement. We didn't talk about Camille. We didn't talk about the limbo our relationship was in. We just kept going through each day, concentrating on my grandma and helping her plan out my grandpa's funeral.
"I ordered us some salads and sandwiches, they should be coming in about thirty minutes." He said, kissing the top of my head softly. That was another thing, he was being very careful with the intimacy factor, which I appreciated. I had kissed him just once since my grandpa passed, just once.
—
We crawled into my bed, Harry sitting up against the headboard while I laid on his chest. I had reached a point where I couldn't cry anymore, even if I tried. And I did try. I wanted to get all the emotions out.
"My ears are open to anything you want to talk about. Any story you want to tell. When my stepdad passed...telling stories of him is what helped me get through it." He said softly, his fingers tracing small circles on my back.
"I can't even think right now." I said softly, and he lifted my face so we made eye contact.
"And that's okay. I'll think for you." He whispered softly. I bit my lip and nodded, searching his eyes, and against my better judgement I leaned up and kissed him.
We kissed for a while, my emotions on high motivating the kiss, and the small bliss it was bringing my soul. We broke the kiss eventually, his forehead softly on mine, until I readjusted myself, letting my head fall in his chest. Letting the comfort he brought lull me to sleep.
—
"Thank you, we need to make sure my grams eats, she's been just picking at her food." I said softly, looking over the food for the wake and the lunch the next day, "You sure Macy didn't mind? It's a good handful of people she would be cooking for."
"She volunteered before I even asked, I promise, she's making what she can ahead of time so she's not swarmed." He said sitting in the chair next to me. He reached for my hand and laced our fingers together, I looked at him and smiled softly, "How are you?"
I shrugged, tracing the top of his hand with my thumb, "I'm not sure. I'm just trying to get through these next couple of days. Did you figure out the rescheduled dates?"
"No, not yet, Jeff said he had a couple things he needed to figure out before we could."
I nodded knowing well enough, I was what needed to be figured out.
—
"Hi Jeff. Thank you for meeting with me." I smiled as we sat down at the small cafe I had him meet me at.
"No of course, again, I'm sorry for your loss, Townes. It's never easy." He said, a soft smile of sympathy on his face.
I nodded a bit, and pushed my hair behind my ear, "Umm, I was just wondering, how I could go about terminating my contract. I don't want any legal trouble or anything of that sort. It's just, my grandma needs me. The only child she has is my dad, and well....he's an asshole."
He chuckled a bit and nodded, "I had a feeling. Which I understand, especially under the circumstances....um, how about this? I will find a temporary pianist. They will cover the Latin America part of the tour. I'll schedule the rescheduled shows after that. If you still feel the same way, we will go from there. Legally though, you will have to perform the rescheduled shows or pay back some of the money that has already been paid to you. I don't want that either. I understand how you feel, and the struggle this is going to be. I also know, from what Harry has told me, that you have so much potential. Potential that should not be given up on, Townes. Family is important, but you need to also remember you are important yourself."
I bit back tears and nodded, reaching up and wiping any that escaped, "Okay. Thank you, Jeff."
"I'll have to figure things out with the Forum and the rest of the tour schedule, I'll run the week by you and we will go from there, okay?"
I nodded and took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
—
"Well I'm sure it'll work itself out soon." I smiled small and he nodded. Soon my grandma walked into the room, and I let go of his hand, quickly walking over to her. I helped guide her to the table and sat her at her usual chair. She peeked over at my grandpa's seat, and sighed.
"I ordered salad and sandwiches, Aileen. Townes told me you really liked the place on the corner." He smiled at her and she peeked up smiling a bit.
"Thank you, Harry. You've been doing a good job taking care of both of us." She said, reaching her hand out to him, and he took it squeezing it softly.
"Anything for the woman I love, and the person she loves the most." He smiled at her, turning to me for just a moment, before looking back at her.
"Don't you leave her. You hear me?" She said, leaning in a bit and he chuckled.
"It would definitely be her leaving me, Aileen. I'm a bit of an asshole. Not a bit, a big one. I messed up pretty bad. Pretty sure, deep down, she's still upset with me right now. She should be an actress." He bit his lip, and my grandma looked between us.
"Well, sometimes, second, even third chances when deserved, are acceptable. After that, well, I'd just consider you an idiot." She winked at him and he chuckled, I couldn't help but join in as well.
A third chance. Maybe.
Our food eventually came and I was happy when my grandma decided to eat. Her and Harry talked forever during lunch. I excused myself at one point, picking up the dishes and the trash, taking everything to the kitchen to clean up. I threw everything away and started washing the dishes.
I stared out the window, looking at the swing set in the back my grandpa built for the neighbors next door. He even added a door to the fenced area so they could come as they pleased. He was always so willing to help others. So willing to make everyone around him happy.
I reached up and wiped my eyes on the back of my hand, shaking my head a bit. I was so zoned out onto the swings, I didn't hear when Harry made his way into the kitchen, until he wrapped his arms around my waist. He placed his chin on my shoulder, turning his face just a bit so he was peeking over at me. I turned my face towards him a bit and he smiled a bit.
"Why the leaky eyes?" He said softly and I bit my lip.
"Those swings out there. Well the little girl next door, she's an only child, but her cousins were always over. Gramps always heard them complaining to her that her house was boring, so, he started building that swing set for her. The next time he heard her cousins over, he called out to her, 'Hey, Sav, why haven't you showed your cousins your new swing set.' She became the favorite cousin and house to come to." I smiled at him and he kissed my shoulder, nodding a bit.
"That's a sweet story. He really was a wonderful man, I hate that I didn't get to know him for longer." He said softly and I nodded.
"I wish you would have to." I said, and his breath hot on my skin sent soft chills through me. I watched as his eyes searched my face and took a deep breath, holding it.
"I'm really sorry, Townes. For everything. I'm so sorry for hurting you. For really hurting you. I'm so sorry." He said, his eyes glassing over. I turned off the sink and turned in his arms to face him. I looked over his face, his facial features his lips, his eyes.
God, I'm so weak.
I shook my head a bit, taking a deep breath, "I can't say I forgive you, because I'm not sure I have, but I appreciate your apology. I appreciate you acknowledging that it was wrong. You did hurt me Harry. You destroyed me and the idea I had of me and you," I swallowed, looking down at his chest, "You made me a fool for a second time, and you knew, what that meant to me."
He nodded and reached up, lifting my chin so my gaze was on his, "And if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life showing you that I will never do that again."
I nodded, searching his eyes, "Maybe."
"I'll take maybe....I'll take anything over a no." He said, and I couldn't help but smile a bit, "I might kiss you."
"I might let you." I whispered softly, as his face grew closer, his lips gently landing on mine, kissing me tenderly. It was a different kind of kiss from him, like he might break me if he kissed me any other way.
We broke the kiss, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself into him and hugging him tightly, "Thank you for being here. For holding my hand. Thank you."
"Always. If you let me." He said softly.
—
I walked into Benny's after I knew last call had passed by, walking up and sitting on the bar. I couldn't help the smile on my face when I saw Benny had framed a picture of myself with Harry and the band, nailing it up near the liquor. I took a breath and looked around, not spotting him nor Tasha, "What's a girl gotta do to get a beer?"
"Is that my angel face?" I heard Benny call back, and he walked through the back doors smiling big at me, "Oh come here you I missed ya!"
I quickly jumped off the stool and ran over to him, taking in his full embrace. He held me so tightly, and I could feel as he started to cry, "I miss my best friend, Townie. I'm so sorry baby."
I held him tighter, and found myself crying too, "I miss him too." I pulled back and took Benny's face in, smiling small, "Don't you dear leave me, you hear?"
"Never, I made a deal with the big man, I gotta be here to walk you down the aisle someday." He said, and I couldn't help but cry some more, "Come on, let's have a drink. Something stronger than a beer."
I nodded and went back to my seat as he moved behind the bar, "Where's Tasha?" I asked, wiping my face.
"She went to grab us some food, I'm hungry, but we'll share whatever she gets." He smiled, placing down two shots and serving some tequila in both. We clinked the glasses and took the shots, he offered a lime and I shook my head.
"The burn, it eases the pain." I smiled small and he nodded.
"True. So, how are you? How's Aileen? I'm sorry I haven't stopped by, but, since I'm closing this whole weekend for the servi—Don't worry Benny, we understand. Plus, Harry has been helping out a lot, so, it's been okay." I smiled small, as he served us another round.
"Tasha doesn't seem to fond of him lately." He said raising an eyebrow, and I quickly took the other shot not waiting for him
"He messed up, and he's not off the hook, I just appreciate his help. And him being there."
"Being a kiss ass is more like it." I heard Tasha's voice and I turned over my shoulder, giggling a bit.
"I mean, I think he should be kissing major ass don't you think?" I raised an eyebrow as she made her way, and sat next to me.
"That's actually true. He should be." She rolled her eyes, quickly unbagging the food.
"Tash."
"Townes."
"Benny." Benny said and it caused us both to laugh, "Look, whatever the kid did, like your gram always says, a second and a third chance, anything else, you're an idiot."
I laughed and nodded, "That exactly what she told me and Harry today. So, we'll see."
"Did you tell Benny you'll probably be back at work for a bit?" Tasha said, splitting her taco plate with me.
"Wait, what? Why?" Benny said raising an eyebrow.
"I need a break to be here with Grams, I'll see what happens after. I already talked to Harry's manager, legally, I have to do the LA rescheduled shows. But I don't have to go for the Latin America part of it. I have until after that to decide what to do. I just, with Harry and gramps...it's been a lot. I need the break. From Harry, from tour. I just need a moment to think." I bit my lip and Benny's face filled with concern.
"I don't want you giving up your dreams though Townes. Your gramps would have never allowed it."
"I know, and I'll figure it out. It's just a break—is it though?" Tasha interrupted.
"It is."
"I just don't want you giving up on your dreams when you're already so damn close. When Harry releases his album, you'll have producing and writing credits Townes, for Harry Styles. Please don't let the fact that he's a fucking idiot ruin this for you." She said, anger clear on her face. It would be a while before Tasha forgave Harry, even if I did.
"I know, Tasha, trust me. I know."
"I say, after the Latin American tour, you go back. Tasha and I will always watch out for your grams. Always. She will never feel alone." Benny smiled at me, before biting into his taco.
"I know and I appreciate you both dearly for it. But this really needs to be my decision, okay?" I said and they both looked at each other shrugging.
"I guess." Tasha said, stealing Benny's shot and taking it herself causing us to laugh.