"Rain!"
He turns back around when he hears his name being called.
"Rain, what are you doing here?"
Saifah's concerned voice matches the concern on his face as he takes in the rain-soaked boy.
Rain looks up, unsure whether to leave or stay.
"Is P'Phayu here?" He asks softly.
Saifah's gaze turns from worry to alarm when he sees how miserable Rain looks.
"Never mind. It's nothing," Rain says, swallowing back tears.
Saifah puts the umbrella over his head, shielding him from the downpour.
"Come inside," he says gently as he bundles Rain out of the rain.
Saifah leads him upstairs to Phayu's apartment and tells him to rest.
Once he leaves, Rain drops his backpack and storage tube on the table and flops wearily to the floor by the foot of the bed.
Saifah had not turned on the main lights, only a table lamp, so the room is bathed in a soft amber glow.
He leans back and looks around to distract himself from his misery. He hasn't been in this apartment since the morning after the mixer.
If someone had told him then that he would willingly come running to this apartment when he was hurting and needed comfort, he would have laughed in their face.
He had spent a lot of time at the garage over the past few days and had grown comfortable here. But he knows deep down that it's not the place but the person who owns it that draws him.
The Rain from that day would never have believed that the man who shocked, tried to seduce, and bullied him would be the one his heart sought out in a moment like this.
***
Phayu gets so engrossed in work that he usually ends up staying late. He hates leaving things undone and likes to tie loose ends before heading home.
His brother teases him about being a workaholic, but he enjoys his job and sometimes forgets the time.
His cell phone rings.⚡️ Saifah
....Speak of the devil. Likely calling to remind him to pick up something for dinner or to ask him what he should order. A little smile lightens his lips.
"Hey, what's up?"
[⚡️] Ai Phayu, when are you coming back?
He sounds frazzled.
[⚡️] Your boy was standing outside in the pouring rain, waiting for you. He looks really upset.
Phayu doesn't even bother responding.
He hangs up the phone and scoops up all his belongings. The workaholic doesn't think twice about leaving the office with work undone.
***
Phayu enters the apartment, unsure what is happening or what he will find.
The sight of Rain huddled on the floor, looking so lost, wet, and miserable, batters his heart.
Big brown eyes look at him, instantly welling with tears he's been holding back all day, not having wanted anyone else to see.
Phayu drops down and beckons him with open arms, "Come here."
"P'Phayu..." Rain mewls miserably as he launches himself into his body.
Strong arms close around him, and he finally feels sheltered.
He nestles his head into the crook of Phayu's neck and leans on his shoulder as the tears roll down his face. He wraps his arms around Phayu's warm, sturdy body.
"I'm here now."
"I screwed up, Phi."
"It's ok good boy."
"Let me see. You look like a drenched puppy," Phayu says softly, stroking Rain's hair and face. Rain falls back into his arms and sobs quietly.
"I'm right here now," he says soothingly.
"I don't know what to do, Phi. I really screwed up."
Phayu hugs him tighter, trying to guess what made him so miserable. Having been in his shoes as a boy and a student, he knows it could only be a handful of things.
"Cry it out, Rain, cry it out," the deep voice purrs in his ear. "You can tell me anything."
Rain crawls into Phayu's lap.
Large hands caress and soothe his back as he buries his head in his chest.
The tears roll freely down his face as he lets the thumping of Phayu's heart drown out the self-doubt in his head.
Finally, the tears dry up, and Phayu chases him into the shower to get cleaned up.
When he comes back out after gathering himself, Phayu is looking down at his drawings laid out on the table.
"Hey, P'Phayu, don't look!" He tries to move the bigger man away from the drawings and hide it desperately with his body.
"This was the assignment that you were doing last night before we went to dinner, right?"
"Did the professor scold you, or did you miss the deadline?" he asks.
"I didn't submit it on time," Rain says in an embarrassed whisper.
Phayu crosses his arms over his body and gives Rain a hard stare. Rain slowly explains what happened.
"If you want me to console you, all I can say is that everything the professor said was correct."
"I don't expect you to console me. I know that it is my fault."
"It's good that you know that and come to terms with it quickly."
He explains to Rain how the criticism from the professor today will harden him for what's to come when he steps out into the real world. "It will help protect you and strengthen you in the future." He further explains that missing a deadline is no big deal for some people, but it's a responsibility for others.
"The professor wants you to be responsible, Rain.
I want you to be responsible."
"But I understand how you feel. I still get criticized by clients these days for my work."
"You, P'Phayu??"
"Yes, me, the P'Phayu standing in front of you."
Phayu then strokes his head. "Dry your hair. I'll have someone buy you some food."
Rain realizes that he hasn't eaten in over 24 hours since the meal they had together last night. He had wandered aimlessly after leaving the University until being drawn here.
Rain sits down on the bed and can't help worrying that the professor hates him and that he has irreparably damaged his grades.
As Phayu looks back, he sees the worry on Rain's face. He can't stand seeing the bright and lively boy so disheartened. With a heavy sigh, he comes back to Rain.
Rain feels a big palm stroking his head and looks up in surprise to see Phayu standing in front of him.
"Rain, let go of what has already happened. Focus on doing the next assignment well. Understand, naughty boy?" Phayu says as he puts his face close to Rain's and strokes the nape of his neck soothingly.
Rain nods his head to show he understands, a warm feeling spreading through him as his fears settle.
I thought you weren't going to console me, Rain thinks as he watches Phayu leave the room.
A smile finally plays on his lips as he feels the innate kindness of the man who pulls at him so strongly.
Rain thought about how conflicted he had been standing in the rain a couple of hours ago, second-guessing whether he should have come until Saifah had taken the decision out of his hands.
He had seen so many sides to Phayu in the time he knew him, beginning with that day at the Open House when he encouraged him without even realizing it.
Of course, Phayu had never seen him that day, so he doesn't know it was him. But he had made an indelible impression on Rain.
And on the flip side, Phayu was also the only one who saw all the different sides of Rain.
He looked at him adoringly, seductively, and patiently. No one had ever noticed, let alone appreciated, all these different parts of him.
Over the past week, after establishing the "rules" at the porridge restaurant, Phayu had lavished time and attention on him. He texted routinely throughout the day to let him know what he was doing and when he would be available for Rain.
Even now, despite not knowing why Rain was here, he had come rushing and made him a priority.
The primal pull he felt towards Phayu that had brought him here today was something he could no longer hide from himself.
He needed Phayu. Whether it was yet love, he wasn't sure.
He now understood that what he had thought of as love in his past relationships didn't compare to the need and devotion he felt with Phayu. And there was an attraction and magnetism between them that was impossible to deny. He was confident it was mutual. Otherwise, Phayu would never have allowed him into his life the way he had.
Phayu came back upstairs after getting someone to order the food.
He sat on the side of the bed and made Rain sit on the floor in front of him so that he could dry his hair. Like last time, Rain thought.
He remembered how shocked he had been when the mood shifted from collegial to something far more seductive when he felt the towel replaced by Phayu's fingers at the nape of his neck.
A part of him longed to feel that now.
He realized that Phayu's thighs surrounded him as he dried his hair. Rain slowly melted back into the vee of his legs, his breathing getting heavier as he felt Phayu all around him.
Phayu gently dried his hair, smelling his own shampoo on Rain's hair. The fresh, clean scent somehow transformed into something more alluring, making him want to bury his nose in Rain's soft hair and pull him back against his body.
Rain has his hands wrapped around the lower part of his legs as he is sitting on the floor. He wasn't sure whether Rain was even aware that he was stroking his calves, running his hands up and down his leg, while his head lolled on his thighs.
Phayu closes his eyes for a few breaths.
He bends down and says, "Rain, don't come here anymore."
The hand that was sliding up and down his legs froze in disbelief. Rain stands up in agitation, facing Phayu.
"What do you mean, Phi? Don't joke like that." He plops down next to him on the bed.
Looking at him with agitation, he acknowledges, "I know I'm annoying." All the criticisms and veiled remarks from his past relationships come crashing back.
"I'm sorry! I won't bother you again, Phi," he promises, tears welling again in his eyes. He takes Phayu's hands in his. "I won't cry and make you wipe my tears." He says pitifully. "I won't sneak into the race again. I won't keep disturbing you. I know that I showed up without letting you know. I won't do that again." He negotiates anxiously, throwing in all the sins that he had committed.
"But, P'Phayu, please don't forbid me from coming here." He pleads desperately. The world he had just realized he wanted was being taken away.
"Rain, listen to me," Phayu says, looking Rain squarely in the eyes. "I'm not annoyed with you."
"But....??"
"Haven't I told you that I wanted you to learn to allocate your time? You're only in your first year, but what will happen after this?"
Sigh. "Have you ever heard the saying, 'Before you design a house, you need to design your life'?"
He continues gently but earnestly, "If you are serious about pursuing me, then you must understand that I don't need an impulsive relationship. And if you can't be responsible for your own life, how can I expect a relationship that's more than this?"
Phayu strokes his face tenderly but looks at him resolutely. "This is how I am. And if you don't like it, then don't come here."
Rain realizes that Phayu isn't rejecting him. He didn't find him annoying and wasn't fed up with him. This was his most deep-rooted fear that Phayu would come to dislike his quirks. He was watching out for him, not rejecting him. He wants him to be responsible.
Rain will not give up the person and place that are his haven!
His stubbornness kicks in. "Then, if I can prove I can be responsible, I can come here again, right?"
"Only if you can prove it to me." Phayu concedes. After all, the last thing he wants is Rain out of his life.
At the same time, if Rain can't manage things now during his easiest year in University, how will he get through the next few years? Things are only going to get harder and more demanding.
He couldn't stand by and be the reason why Rain performed poorly in school the next few years and jeopardized his future. He wants a strong partner to share his life with, not someone immature that disregards his responsibilities.
As Rain tries to process this new situation and rules, Phayu says, "Eat your dinner. It should be here any minute. Then rest here for the night. I'll take you home in the morning."
Rain slumps dejectedly, understanding with gloom that there were indeed repercussions for ignoring the rules Phayu had laid out earlier.
*** End Chapter: TBC ***
A/N: Whew, this was a tough one, getting in their heads and staying true to their feelings.
So tell me what you think.
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