Bruce didn't leave your side that night. He couldn't explain what it was himself, but he just liked something about you. He liked you and wanted to protect you. He made it personal and it was up to you to realise which man was really good for you. But unfortunately, you were someone who, despite all the negativity, was still attracted to danger. And as much as you enjoyed the quiet moments with Bruce, you were still attracted to Jonathan despite everything. Which had been completely crazy. But sometimes you couldn't explain your feelings. Part of you just hoped that Scarecrow was only this bad part of Crane and that his real self would eventually realise that he no longer wanted to use you as a test object. That he was done with his experiments on you. Hope never dies, right?
When you woke up you found a handwritten note. I am sorry I had to leave. Wayne Enterprises does not run on its own unfortunately. Take some days off. As much as you need - I'll inform Reese. Take care of yourself and if you need something, let me know. - Bruce
Your cheeks turned red. He had a sweeping, beautiful handwriting and his presence had really helped you. You felt better and also the worry about Reese had disappeared for the moment. You could think in peace, rest and hopefully make a decision about what was right. Your reason screamed for you to tell Batman the true identity of Scarecrow. And that you should leave Scarecrow behind. But your heart was still in the way.
However, that was something you wanted to discuss today - in short and changed form - with Clara. You were hoping for some friendly advice. She was very interested in dating and her dream man. So you really hoped she could help you. You had never focused on that - if it worked out, you would give it a chance. However, you were never looking for a man. Probably also because of your numerous issues. If you couldn't even rely on your family or friends, how could you let someone into your heart? At least that was the thought before you met Jonathan. Because even though you resisted it at first, yes, you had somehow developed feelings for your psychiatrist. What a cliché. At the same time, however, there was now Bruce Wayne. He was kind, loving and attentive. He was there for you. If you had any sense, you'd have made your decision by now. Regardless of the fact that you couldn't be sure that Wayne was really interested in you. Maybe he was just being friendly. Because what was so special about you? You were just an ordinary woman. No special talents, no exciting life. You were boring and mentally damaged - who could want that anyway?
The self-doubt and thoughts that had always tormented you just wouldn't let go. No matter how you turned it around, no matter if you came to a positive conclusion - in the end, self-doubt got the upper hand. But now you had to shake all that off to do some more shopping and wait for your friend to visit. Luckily, the time went by so quickly that you were already waiting patiently for her.
It had been difficult with Clara. You called her your friend, but she was the one who always let you down, took advantage of you and only had time for you when she wanted something. You were all the more surprised that she had accepted you so quickly - always hoping that maybe she was genuinely interested in you and had noticed how much you had withdrawn.
As usual, she came too late. Something that usually drove you crazy. Your mother had taught you that punctuality equals respect - only rarely did you arrive unpunctual because of it. Clara, on the other hand, was always late - because everything else was more important than being in time. Another twenty minutes passed, during which you played on your mobile phone and looked at some old photos. A message from Jonathan popped up - something you hadn't expected. You hadn't heard from him since the incident and the small overdose of his fear toxin.
We need to talk about what happened. Do you have time? - JC
Speechless, you read the message several times in a row. That was all? You had to talk? He had poisoned you, endangered your life and that was all he could think of. Not one kind word, not one concerned word. Disappointment rose in you, but so did anger. You stared at the screen and answered impulsively - which was rarely a good idea.
Oh hi, Jonathan. How are you? I'm not well after what you did to me. But thanks for asking. Very thoughtful. We need to talk? Really? I don't have to do anything anymore. Do I have time? Maybe. If I want to see you, I'll call you. Until then, have a nice time.
Without reading again, you pressed the SEND button. At that very moment you finally heard the doorbell ring. You rushed to it, opened it and hugged Clara with a joyful greeting.
"Heeeeey, finally it worked again! How are you? I have so much to tell you!", she entered the flat and took a seat on the sofa. You ordered pizza and talked about unimportant things first. Just small talk. "But now you tell me what's going on. Why did you want to see me?"
You took a deep breath. Again, a thousand questions ran through your head: What should you start with? How? Of course, you also had to be careful to leave out certain details. How would she react? Should you really tell her about Bruce Wayne? She wouldn't believe you anyway! "Okay. So... I've met someone." Immediately you heard applause. "Well, look at that! Finally, Y/N. It was about time. Tell, go on!" For a moment you just looked at her. How was she going to know it was a reason to cheer? "Briefly as a little background... I'm going to therapy and well. My psychiatrist and I have become closer," you realised Clara was already starting to say something, "No, wait. Please. Yes, I know it shouldn't be, but it doesn't matter right now. Because I've met someone else. Let's say hey are the complete opposite of each other... Jonathan - my psychiatrist - he sometimes can be so ... cool. Unapproachable... hurtful...? Whereas Bru- Brian is loving and caring. Yes, if I'd be reasonable I'd totally get over Jonathan but... fuck. Clara... this is all so much and we. He was my first...", you buried your face in your hands. You couldn't stand any looks from Clara on you.
It was obvious that she needed to let it all sink in. "Okay, wait. You sleep with your psychiatrist who treats you badly and at the same time you are interested in this Brian guy? WOW.", she started to laugh. It irritated you. "You really do have some issues, Y/N. First of all... your psychiatrist, really? Are these some daddy issues again? My advice...? Neither of them. I think you'd do well to stay single forever. You'd prefer solitude anyway." "No. That. That's not it...", you were immediately unsettled and regretted even asking her for advice. What had you been thinking too? You could have guessed! "Trust me. You know I'm two years older. I am normal. I don't have issues. And stop pulling such a face. BUT! Now for me. Because I have also met someone. And in a normal way, not like you," she laughed. As if it was all just a joke, although you could clearly recognise that it was weighing you down. "I-I'll just get a glass of water. Go on," you didn't want to show her how much it had hurt you. That your eyes were filling with tears. You reached for your mobile phone.
Your hands were shaking. An unread message from Crane appeared on the screen, but you were not interested in his reply at the moment. You couldn't concentrate on it, but still you wrote to him of all people. Something you might soon regret.
Come over. Please. With your toxin. A friend is here and I can't stand it. Try a dose on her. I need Scarecrow.
It was impulsive. And definitely not good - no matter how much she had hurt you and how unstable you were right now, there was no excuse for what you had just done. You wanted her to feel fear. To be afraid. Yes, you have been betrayed by all of your friends for so often. She was the one who picked up the phone drunk when you needed someone. She was the one who threw a little game night party and didn't invite you. And now she told you to stay single because you seemed to prefer being alone. She didn't even realized how broken you were because all she cared about was herself. And she told you she was normal which meant you were not.
You. were. not. normal.
"Fuck it.", you murmured, rubbed your eyes and came back to the living room with a glass of ice cold water while she kept talking about a man she just had met. "And I'm gonna have a date next weeeeeek!", she sang a little bit. "Maybe I need your advise then. What to wear, which make up to put on, etc. - sooooo. Please be free next Thursday." You laughed quietly. "Sure. You know... I am completely fine with you telling me about what happens in your life. I want to give you advises, to talk with you about men and all of this. But I needed you this one time because I am this far away from completly driving insane. And you do not care. Not at all." You exhaled and shook your head. Keep smiling. Just keep smiling. Clara was surprised and shocked by your words. "Y/N... what is going on with you? I told you what I think is the best for you and I don't get your problems. By God, get your stuff together, you're not THAT important."
Ring. Ring. Ring. "This must be our pizza." you stood up and went to the door. "Oh, finally? Did you order it via Scandinavia or why does it take SO long?!" The mood was already tense. In hope it wasn't the Pizza guy, you opened the door and a honest smile appeared on your lips.
There he was. Jonathan wore his Scarecrow mask and tilted his head. You still could see his beautiful blue eyes. "Come in.", you whispered and pointed at the sofa in your living room. "Is it the pizza? I hope it's not cold now." you heard Clara saying. "No. It's a very good friend. I want you to meet him." Before she could say anything else Scarecrow stood in front of and sprayed her. You were just standing in the door frame of your living room and observed it. You could feel your body getting hotter and more excited.
Your "friend" started crying and screaming. About things she saw which weren't there. This wasn't okay. What you did and how much you enjoyed this situation was horrible and definitely NOT who you used to be. And Jonathan? Jonathan was never more amazed by you. He wondered if he created this dark path in you or if there always had been a darker side which he hadn't seen yet. His eyes wandered to you, looking you up and down and seeing how much you enjoyed it. How much you wanted this. He felt the passion and desire rising inside of him. "Clara... run, you better should leave. He hautns me as well... run as fast as you can!", you acted scared and opened your apartment door so she could run away in fear. She almost ran over the pizza guy who really needed longer than ever before.
Jonathan put down his mask. It was obvious how amazed but at the same time shocked he was about what you just did. You took the pizza, tipped the delivery guy and closed the door. "I got pizza for us.", the smile on your lips grew bigger and bigger. You never felt more powerful. What you did was evil and you would regret it the next day - that was for sure. But right now, you needed this. You needed to stand on the same spot as Scarecrow, to see others afraid. The blue eyed men moved closer to you to grab you and kiss you passionatly. A passion you never felt before. A passion both of you shared. And a desire you gave in.
Author's note
Hello, hello there! What a fast update, right?! I was in the flow and it is a looooot more darker this time, isn't it? I just had the feeling, Y/N needed to do this. She is still torn between good and evil. Batman and Scarecrow... so my lovely readers, keep reading and find out what's happening next!
I hope to upload again soon but I have to inform you, that I'm having a spinesurgery next week (scared af tbh) and I don't know if I'm in the mood to write or if I am even capable xD We will see. But if you don't hear something from me - I havent forgotten about this story, I maybe just have to take a short break.
Thanks for reading!!
xx N
P.S.: Gif found on wifflegif -> tsuyoi-hikari. tumblr.com