When all is said and done, look what we've become- Onika Maraj
Onika POV
Spring had rolled around quickly, and I was definitely enjoying this weather and so we're the boys. We were back yard of my mom's house in New York visiting. Since we've been here the boys have been constantly nagging me to take them outside. They were busy running around while I scrolled through indeed looking for another surgical fellowship. Yes, two months later I was still without a job and slowly becoming depressed.
It's like every interview I got I was turned away. At this point I began to take it personal, I had a Harper Avery and I performed surgery on the vice president for Christ's sake! I had an entire procedural method that has been added to medical journals for years to come.
But here I was being at stay home mom to both papa and Kross. I've been so bored I had even started looking into starting my own practice. But unfortunately, I needed 6 years experience to be considered a surgeon. And without my my surgical fellowship that shit was near impossible.
That wasn't my only problem either, my bank account was running low. I had already dipped into my savings to pay miscellaneous bills. At this point I was kind of regretting putting the 100k that she had given me for Papa's trust fund. I used 25k for the down payment on my house and the rest would be accessible to papa once he turned 18.
I knew that Lauren didn't mind helping me out here and there. But she had her own bills to worry about and I felt so bad asking my mom for help. At this point I was considering even working in a clinic. But deep down inside I knew I wanted to be a cardio thoracic surgeon.
A notification went off on my phone, Nas had just text me to let me know he was pulling up. I sent him a quick text letting him know the boys and I were in the backyard. We had been hanging out a lot these past two months. Mainly because I was bored as hell when Lauren was at work. But anytime he was in Atlanta he made it his mission to see me. We had been so seeing each other so much to the point where it was only right to let him know that I had kid.
At first, he raised concern about who papa 's father was, I assured him he had nothing to worry.
His whole stance was that he never dealt with anyone with a kid before. He was more afraid of not connecting with papa than any baby daddy drama. But when I introduced the both of them it was like an instant connection.
I felt kind of bad, in the way that I should have been more hesitant about introducing him to someone who could potentially walk out his life. Don't get me wrong I liked Nas he was cool, but I could not see myself committing to him or anyone for that matter.
From jump Nas was real upfront in letting me know he saw other women, since we weren't dating exclusively. I could only respect that, due to the fact that what Nas was looking for I could not provide right now. He wanted a stable relationship, someone to come home to after a long day of work, make him dinner, fuck his brains out while he took care of the bills and house.
But right now, I was my own woman, and the only man in my house was papa bear.
After what that woman put me through, Jesus himself would have to come down and tell me if he was right for me.
As soon as Nas walked through the back gate papa ran up to him. I could tell Papa loved having a male figure around, he jumped up and down Nas' leg until he picked him up.
Kross used that opportunity to sit in my lap while papa was distracted. He knew how overprotective papa was of me- he could not have dared done this if papa wasn't occupied.
Nas came over and took a seat next to me. It wasn't until then I took in his court attire. That Armani suit would hit for every time. He took off his suit jacket swinging it on the back of the chair as papa played with his tie.
Nas leaned over slowly pulling at my nose. Something he found cute, but I found annoying.
"Wassup beautiful? Are you still unemployed?"
"Are you still losing cases?" I snapped back.
"I actually won that today."
"Oh well congratulations."
"Auntie I'm hungry." Kross wined.
"Alright baby I'll order some pizza."
"Yayyy!!!" Kross and papa cheered running off to go play.
I was busy ordering the boys something to eat when an envelope fell on my lap.
I looked up at Nas. "What's this?"
"Some cash, go fix that's nest on the top of your head." Nas said nudging my bun.
"Nigga... I don't need yo money. I'll fix my hair on my own terms."
"Well, you need to fix it today, I need you to be my date to a function tomorrow. Dress classy, get your makeup and hair did. I'll be here for you tomorrow by 3pm."
"Who said I wanted to go with you?"
"You ain't got shit else to do. Come be my date, all my clients and potential clients going to be there. I'm trying to make a great first impression."
"That don't got s-h-i-t to do with me."
"s-h-i-t." Papa repeated. "Shhhhh-etttt" he pronounced.
I face palmed sometimes regretting how smart my two-year-old was sometimes. "No baby that a bad word."
Nas on the other hand was high fiving him. "My boy smart as hell."
"Shit." Papa repeated again running of behind Kross.
"Oh God, my mom is going to be pissed."
"Why? You taught him the word." Nas laughed.
"Shut up Nasir."
I opened the envelope and did a double take.
"Nas this is too much. This is like 6 bands in here."
"I know. I want you to get something nice, go get your hair done and shit. And no, I'm not taking it back."
My mom poked her head out the back door.
"Baby did you order pizza? Good evening, Nasir."
"Good evening Mrs. Maraj."
"Yea I did the boys were hungry." I proceeded to get up when Nas stopped me.
"I got it."
I didn't protest instead I went to go grab some papers plates and cups from the kitchen. I didn't even notice my mom had followed me until she made her presence known.
"Do you like him Onika?"
"No mommy we're just friends. We've talked about this."
"Baby eventually you're going to find somebody. If not him, you'll have to find somebody to love you."
"My son loves me and right now that's all I care about."
"Baby eventually you're going to need someone to fulfill your needs. Someone you can confide in, come home after a long day and talk too. I mean at some point you're going to have to move on."
"Mommy I never said that I was stuck. I'm perfectly fine as a single woman. I don't need someone to make me feel better about myself. I'm doing fine."
She sighed. "We'll just don't push away a good person because you're hurt about the last- you would be doing the same thing she basically did to you."
I slammed my hand down on the counter involuntarily. "What she did to me was by her own selfishness. And I would appreciate if you stop bringing her up every-time we have a conversation. It's like you chose to side with her instead of your own child! Can you just be on my side for once?" I semi-screamed.
"Onika Tanya Maraj you will not raise your voice in my house! I would never favor what she did to you! But you're not going to stand up there and talk to me like I wasn't hurt about the situation as well. Onika every time you called me crying, I was there! As a mother should be for her child! So, no I don't appreciate what you just said to me! And if wanted to be really frank I told you stop fooling around with her since the first pregnancy, yet you continued to do so... And who was there to pick you up when she went missing and you almost died? I was there Onika, and I've always been there!"
At this point we were both in tears. Nasir appeared at the kitchen door awkwardly holding a box of pizza. My mom turned to him grabbing the pizza box.
"Thank you, Nasir, excuse me I'm going to feed my grandchildren." My mom said leaving us both alone.
I turned around cursing underneath my breath.
No sooner I felt Nasir behind me handing me a tissue.
"Let's go for a ride... it's too much tension in here. You both need to cool off before you speak to each other again."
I silently agreed turning toward him. He grabbed my hand in his and grabbed up his keys in the other. When we got outside, he opened the door for me to get comfortable in his Lambo truck.
He pulled out slowly locking his free hand in mine. My mind was so discombobulated I didn't even care to ask where we were going. Snoh Aalegra's voice resonated lowly through the speakers as the rain drops came down.
That feeling of loneliness and depression began to settle within my spirit again. Yet again because of her I had managed to push away the most important person away. I knew my mom was right, eventually I had to move on. And it was obvious she did without issue-which made me angry, and I could not understand why.
The ringing of my phone made me open my eyes. As soon as Lauren's name flashed across the screen, I knew exactly why she was calling. As bad as I wanted to decline the call, I knew Lauren would keep calling until I eventually answered.
"Hello?"
"Seriously Onika?"
"Lo I-"
"Apologize to her... Like I'm seriously trying to figure out what the fuck has been going on with you lately? Your mom out of all people?"
I sighed. " I know Lauren. I fucked up alright, is that what you want to hear."
"No, I actually want you to start taking accountability for hurting people around you Onika. We're here for you we're not against you. I think you need to go back to Taraji for some sessions. You were doing so good."
I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "I'm fine Lauren, I'll talk to mommy when I get home."
"Onika make the appointment before I have to make it for you."
I rolled my eyes. "Fine..."
The line went silent for a bit, I could hear that Lauren was at work from the hospital operator calling codes overhead. Then I heard an all too familiar voice.
"Wait a minute ... Lauren is that Dr. Jenkins????"
"Oh, yea girl. Lucifer gave him his job back, but even a better position he's chief now starting today."
"You're lying. I feel so betrayed right now."
"Girl how? That man has a family to feed. Ain't no loyalty when money talks... She's been walking around this hospital changing shit up all day. And get this, her and that horse faced bitch are in surgery right now. That hoe doesn't know the difference between a scalpel and a aspen knife. Bitch as dumb as a brick, she got so frustrated with her during the surgery today she started screaming at her."
That made me crack a smile, just knowing how specific and to the point she is when it comes to being in an O.R with her. You better come prepared or be prepared to get embarrassed.
"You're lying..." I laughed.
"Mhmm, girl the bitch started crying so she kicked her out the O.R and finished the bypass by herself. I honestly give you props, I stood with her during your operation, and I was nervous as shit. I can't imagine being screamed at with someone's life in my hands."
I scoffed. "Hmph... Tell me about it..."
"Wait what you up to, it sounds like you're driving."
"I'm in the car with Nasir. I have no idea where we're going."
"Oh word? Put me on speaker." Lauren demanded.
"You're on speaker now Lauren, please behave." I warned.
"Nigga where the fuck are you taking her?"
I rolled my eyes immediately. "I'm sorry Nasir she's off her meds."
He laughed, taking the phone out my hand. "I'm about to take her to fix her hair, get her nails done and buy her something nice for a function I'm taking her too."
"Ohhh.... Don't be on no funny shit. I beat niggas too."
"Lauren!"
"I assure you Ms. London you have nothing to worry about. I'll make sure your precious cargo comes back to ATL in one piece."
"You better- Nika I gotta go, I'll call you later to talk to the boys . Love you bye."
"Love you too." I said disconnecting the call.
The car came to a stop making me look up. We had stopped in front of a beauty salon. Nas jumped out and jogged to my side of the car letting me out. He opened the door for me as I walked into the salon. It was a pretty upscale light lavender and all white themed
"Hey baby." A middle-aged woman approached Nasir. Oh he like them old I thought.
"Hey Momma, this is Onika."
My eyes almost popped out my head. She looked at me with a warm smile and shook my hand.
"She is beautiful Nasir, what would you like today?"
"Uhhh-."
Nas interrupted. "Uhhh everything for her ma' hair, nails, toes the whole nine."
"No problem, come take a seat in my chair honey. How would you like your hair done."
"Bone straight with a middle part."
"Sounds good to me." She smiled.
Some five hours later I looked like a completely different person. My hair looked so mind-blowing, it was jet black and bone straight to my butt. I came to find out the woman who did my nails was actually Nas' older sister. The entire salon was family owned. Everyone was so sweet and welcoming toward me. I turned around to pay them, but Nas stopped me handing a thick envelope to his mom.
Nas and I said our goodbyes to everyone as we got back in his car. About twenty minutes later we pulled up to a luxury boutique. Once inside the place looked practically empty.
An older black lady came from the back with a smile. "Mr. Jones right on time, hi dear my name is Emily. I will be assisting you in you dress collection follow me right this way."
I obliged following her down a long corridor. When I got to the pack a few dresses hung on rack put one in particular caught my eyes. The lady caught me looking and smiled.
"I love that one too and with your beautiful shape this one would be perfect." She smiled taking the dress down. "This dress is by Michael Costello, a genuine friend of mine." She said handing me the gown.
I smiled and proceeded to go try it on. Ten minutes later I stepped out of the fitting room in complete awe. The dress was so gorgeous, the light pink and the gold finishings complimented my skin so well.
"Absolutely stunning!" Emily smiled. "Would you like to try on some more miss?"
"No thank you, this is definitely the one."
"Perfect, I'll wrap it up and bring it out front for you."
"Thank you. "I said disappearing to find Nasir.
He was on his phone waiting nearby the cashier.
He looked surprised. "That was quick."
"Yea the dress was so beautiful."
"I can't wait to see you in it tomorrow." He said pulling out his black card. I stood behind him as he made the purchase, they way Emily's smile never faded I knew that dress cost some racks.
After we were done, we headed to the Rieglemann Boardwalk. We ate hotdogs from Nathan's, cotton candy, ice-cream. Then we walked out on the pier to watch the sunset as sound of waves rocked against the ridges below. I was so content at this moment and being encapsulated in Nasir's arms made this day to be, one of the best days of my life....
The Next Day
"Onika hurry up, you have this man downstairs waiting." My mom said standing at my room door.
I was running late as always, but today it was my fault. Nasir and I ended up at Coney Island and almost got on every ride we could fit on. After that we hit up a jazz club that he liked and damn near met the sun rising.
By the time I laid down in bed this morning it was 6am. I fell into one of the best sleep cycles of my life without setting an alarm. If my mom had not came to check on me around 1:30 this afternoon, I probably would have slept until Nasir got here. I even missed the makeup appointment that he had made, but I manage to beat the hell out my face my way.
My mom and I still hadn't had the chance to talk, but I made that mission to do as soon as I got home.
"I'm coming mommy I'm just putting on my earrings. I quickly snapped the gold earrings in place and did a quick once over."
"You look beautiful baby."
"Thank you, mommy." I quickly kiss her cheek and told her to kiss the boys for me. They were to busy playing to give me kisses.
When I walked downstairs both Nasir and I eyes met. He looked delectable in the mauve suit he was rocking. I knew he picked that color to match my dress. But that fresh cut he had made me want to do some things that haven't crossed my mind in years.
"I could stand here all day expressing how beautiful you look but we're an hour late. Let's go." He said reaching out to grab my hand.
"You guys drive safe." My mom said coming behind us to lock the door.
When I got outside, I noticed that Nas had switched to nice Bentley. I was so glad I put my seatbelt on right away because Nas zoomed out my mom's yard so fast. The entire ride I was pressing breaks that I didn't have. He finally slowed down and we pulled into the entrance of 'The Plaza' hotel.
He hopped out handing his keys to the valet driver before opening my door. I got up fixing my dress and making sure my hair was in place. I finally took his hand and began walking with him into the hotel. We walked for a few minutes until we approached two double doors that was occupied by security guards. Nasir spoke to them as they searched for his name, once confirmed the doors opened.
At first, I thought it was some type of meeting. Everyone was sitting down but the sound of the door open caused every head to turn around. All eyes landed on us, including the devil herself. I was trying to process what the hell was going on until Nas squeezed my hand.
"Shit, I know we were late but not this late." He said lowly.
We were quickly ushered into two seats near the back which I was glad for. I could feel her eyes piercing into my soul, but I refused to look up. When I finally sat down, I realized what was really going on. Normani and Solange stood in the center in both beautiful white gowns.
Nas threw his hand across my shoulder looking around. "Why the hell is everyone still staring at us?"
I gulped. "They're not looking at you... they're looking at me..."