An impatient knock on the door awakened the sleeping Princess. Once she recalled the events that transpired last night, she looked around for Shade. He was in front of her, standing near the edge of the bed, shrugging on his shirt.
"Hide," she hissed, hurrying to make sure the room was presentable with no evidence of a man spending the night.
Shade narrowed his eyes at her, as if the statement was unnecessary. "Obviously," he said, darting out of sight.
She didn't have time to watch him hide. She stood up and hurried to the door, opening it just enough to peer outside. It was her grandmother.
"Have you made a decision?" Her voice was eager and excited, as if she could hardly wait for a response.
"Not yet, Grandmother," she kept the door cracked just enough to talk.
Maria huffed. "You mustn't keep them waiting much longer, Granddaughter, or they may lose interest."
She struggled to bite back a retort, thinking it wouldn't be the worst thing if they lost interest and went home. In fact, she was starting to wonder if that were an option.
As if Maria could sense her thoughts, her eyes narrowed, staring beadily into Elysia's. "It's a good thing you're doing, darling. Don't ruin it and make a fool of your father."
She bit her lip, wondering if it were too late. After all, there was a man in her room, something Maria would have a heart attack discovering. Not to mention the man was not a suitor, but in fact her guardian.
"Give me the hour to think on it. Then I'll get dressed and make the announcement."
Maria smiled, "Very good, best be off then. You have a big decision to make."
Elysia closed the door and turned. She ran a hand through her hair, sinking to the floor. She could do this, she could get through it. For her father, for her kingdom.
Then she looked at Shade, and all her resolve melted like snow.
"What am I going to do?" she buried her face in her hands.
Shade approached her slowly, as if thinking of the right thing to say. He knelt beside her, joining her on the floor, their backs leaning against the wall. He turned his head to her and she felt that tug, that pull on her heart. She wanted him. More than anything she wanted to be with him. And that both confused and terrified her to the very core. This was never supposed to happen. She was never supposed to develop feelings for him; yet here they were, raging within her.
Her breathing became rapid as the anxiety of it all consumed her. This was too big a decision, too life-altering.
These feelings for her guardian, though strong and passionate, were new. Sure, she had felt an occasional pull to him before last night. Their relationship had been gradual, deepening slowly, until enveloping her all at once. There wasn't time to analyze her every emotion for him, or determine whether their relationship would last.
She wasn't even sure what their relationship was. He wanted to keep her safe, she knew that. And there was certainly passion, a burning desire between them. But what else? Could it develop into something more with time? She would never know, never have the chance to explore these feelings.
"This is too much," she mumbled into her hands.
She felt Shade wrap an arm around her, scooting closer. Instantly his touch soothed her, though her thoughts still raced.
She turned her head to look at him. "What should I do?"
He shook his head. "I can't tell you that, Princess."
"But what do you want me to do?" She needed to know. How was he feeling about all this? Was he just as confused as she was?
"What I want doesn't matter. It never has." For a moment he almost sounded bitter.
She reached for his hand, holding it with both of hers. "I would very much like to understand how you're feeling about all of this. Because I am certainly confused."
He started to say one thing, then changed his tone. "I think if Lyra doesn't get another alliance, it won't stand a chance, even with Bacciballum."
"So I should choose one of the suitors to marry?" She peeked at him.
He looked straight ahead. "If you don't, and Lyra loses this war, you would blame yourself. And guilt is a very hard thing to live with, Princess."
There it was, Shade being logical once again. The world was returning to normal, though Elysia preferred yesterday's alternate reality; the one where she got to let her passions guide her.
"Who should I pick?" She asked, hoping it wasn't too insensitive a question.
For a moment it looked like he might be sick. Then he regained composure, his face growing cold. He was thinking, putting more effort into the question than Elysia herself was. At this point she didn't care anymore. She was only a pawn in everyone else's game now.
"You could always choose one of the 90 year old men, hope they might croak walking back down the aisle."
Elysia blinked at him, struggling to determine if he was serious or not.
He sighed, his tone changing. "But I think the best option for Lyra is for you to choose one of the suitors with real power. Most of them were only wealthy noblemen, capable of giving a small battalion or two and some money. Your most powerful option is the dragon bond, the next in line for Susurros."
Elysia closed her eyes. She knew Shade was right. Finnian would be the next king of Susurros. And judging by the current king's nagging cough and pale complexion, Finnian might be king sooner than later.
From their brief encounter, all Elysia gathered of Finnian was his arrogance. He was charming, in his own way, but Elysia wondered if most of that was a show, a performance especially for her. While it would have been nice to at least court the man for a while, she knew time was of the essence.
She stood up and walked over to the pull cord to signal for her ladies. This time, Shade took his leave, shutting the door behind him.
After she was dressed and styled, she made her way to her father's meeting room. Already, her maids had sent word of the Princess' choice. They would be waiting for her, her parents, perhaps her brothers, the King and Queen of Susurros, and Finnian.
Shade fell in step behind her as she walked down the hall, back to wearing his normal brown cloak, his face once again concealed by his hood and cowl.
"No going back now," she muttered as her gaze remained fixed ahead. She knew Shade could hear her, walking close behind.
She expected him to say something, to make some remark. But he was silent. It worried her. There was a tension between them and it wasn't the good kind.
When the guards opened the double doors for her, several faces awaited her, smiling. She noticed Finnian right away, dressed handsomely, his flawless face beaming at her. Was she smiling back? She certainly did her best to. After all, this was the man she would be stuck with, she wanted to make a good impression.
They got the formalities over with quickly. King Alan and King Richard--the King of Susurros--signed several papers. Elysia and Finnian signed them as well. A lot of grandiose words, detailing the legal workings of the alliance. It was a long contract stipulating Elysia's marriage must be to the next in line for the throne. Once the marriage was complete and consummated, the alliance was official.
King Richard already sent word for his armies to begin the journey to Lyra. It was all very sudden and formal. Time was limited in the way of introductions. She wasn't even formally introduced to the King and Queen of Susurros before the signatures were through.
Fortunately, Susurros' engagements were more conventional than Copia's. There would be no knot tying ceremony, no sharing of blood. Instead, Finnian simply placed a ring on her finger and that was that. He kissed her hand sweetly before releasing it, and Elysia tried her best to produce a convincing smile.
Then, King Richard and King Alan moved aside to discuss preparations for war.
"I thought we might spend the day together," Finnian said, grabbing her attention.
"That would be nice," she replied. It was, in fact, good that he was making an effort. "What did you have in mind?"
He extended a bent arm, encouraging her to take it. She did, allowing him to guide their path. "Perhaps you could show me around?"
As she gave him a tour, their pace was slow. Finnian was content to take his time, enjoying every moment with the Princess. Often he would pause, step closer to something, and inspect it curiously. He was fascinated with everything, and while it helped pass the time, Elysia's energy was fading with every detail explained. Apparently, Finnian was naturally curious about everything. To some it might have been endearing. To Elysia, it was annoying. The things that fascinated Finnian, were dull to Elysia. She found herself yawning several times throughout the day.
When they neared the solarium, Finnian surprised her by slipping out of her grip, and stepping back to speak with Shade.
Though he spoke quietly, practically murmuring in Shade's ear, Elysia was able to pick up his words. "You are free to leave." Was he trying to dismiss Shade?
"I'm quite alright, thank you," Shade's tone was verging on insolence.
Elysia turned slightly, using her peripherals to catch Finnian's reaction.
"It wasn't a request," Finnian said firmly. "The Princess will be quite safe with me, I assure you."
Shade's eyes met Elysia's, his face expressionless. "My orders from the King are strict. If you have a problem, you can take it up with him."
Shade was pushing his limits. Finnian was practically royalty, nearly king. She wondered what would happen when they inevitably moved to Susurros. Would Finnian be in charge of Shade? Or would her father's orders trump Finnian's? After all, King Alan did spend an exorbitant amount of money on Shade. Guardians were not cheap and were difficult to come by. And while King Alan appreciated Elysia's ability to gain not one, but two alliances for Lyra, it certainly did not make him trust her any more.
In a foreign kingdom, where he couldn't keep an eye on his daughter, King Alan was sure to send Shade with Elysia. No telling what trouble she would get herself into otherwise.
Finnian grumbled something incomprehensible before returning to Elysia's side, taking her arm in his once more.
They walked into the solarium and were greeted with the smell of potted plants and fresh herbs. Light streamed in from the floor-to-ceiling windows, creating a warm, humid environment. It was a welcome change compared to the bitter cold awaiting outside.
Elysia soon learned Finnian was apparently a recreational horticulturist. It was a hobby he discovered at a young age.
According to him, several plants and flowers were beneficial to the dragon bond. Some plants helped heal the bond faster, certain herbs increased their vitality, and others temporarily aided their flight speed.
Elysia found herself wondering if Ralf knew all of this. Her brother had been studying the bond since he was a child, and was an expert in most things, but she had never heard him speak of the things Finnian described.
"And this one," Finnian said, carefully plucking a blush pink blossom and placing it in the Princess' hand, "is said to increase fertility."
Elysia's eyes widened, and she thought she heard Shade choke back surprise. She wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Oh," she faltered, "is that for dragon bonds only?"
Finnian shook his head, finding her reaction amusing, "That's something that can be used by anyone."
Elysia swallowed, struggling to remain composed. It was an odd thing to say and a bold insinuation. "What an interesting fact," was the best she could respond.
Shade instinctively took a step closer, as if concerned by Finnian's intentions. It was a slight movement and she was sure Finnian hadn't noticed. He was too busy moving on to the next plant. Elysia looked back and eyed her guardian, warning him to remain calm. He had that protective look in his eyes, as if waiting for an opportunity to pounce.
She mouthed for him to calm down, but he only frowned at her. Clearly he wasn't any good at reading lips. Or he was simply playing dumb. Either way, Elysia needed him to know that this was no joking matter. Finnian didn't need to feel threatened by Shade; she didn't want Finnian to complain to her father about him. What if he really did have the power to get rid of him? Elysia didn't think she could handle a new marriage and a new kingdom without her guardian at her side.
"You need to relax," she hissed between her teeth, warning him with her eyes to calm down.
Finnian turned sharply. Elysia froze. "Is this man bothering you?"
Elysia shook her head quickly. "No, of course not--"
Finnian ignored her, brushing past to get to Shade. Shade's face darkened. Elysia begged him with her eyes, pleading for him to gain control of his temper.
"Sir, I really must insist you leave us. She is my betrothed and I cannot be myself with you hovering around constantly." Though Shade was tall, Finnian stood taller. But even with an extra two inches, Shade's intimidation was enough to belittle Finnian instantly.
Knowing no good could come from this interaction, Elysia stepped forward, taking Finnian's arm endearingly. "Come now," she kept her voice calm and soothing. "I was so enjoying your lessons on all the different plantlife. Shade just isn't used to strangers. He's very protective, but he also knows you would never do anything to hurt me. Isn't that right, Shade?"
She felt awful, speaking to him as if he were an insufferable child. But she couldn't risk Finnian growing to despise her guardian. She needed Shade by her side and she would do almost anything to keep him there.
For a moment Shade narrowed his eyes. Then he relented. "Apologies." He gave a curt bow.
Elysia felt herself relax. Luckily, Finnian did too. He led her away, delving back into the captivating subject matter of plants.
After another two excruciatingly long hours, Finnian finally remembered the time. "I suppose I should allow you time to prepare for supper."
She couldn't accept the offer faster, her face lighting up at the opportunity. "Is it supper time already? Well then, I suppose I should be off. Though I hate to cut such a captivating story short."
"We can always resume our chat at supper," he assured her. Her smile faltered, though she quickly fixed it. "Allow me to escort you to your room."
She did her best to quicken their pace. Her head was pounding from all the information Finnian released on her over the past hours. Most of it was already forgotten, though she certainly tried to maintain interest.
Once at her door, Finnian kissed her hand and parted ways. Shade disappeared from sight and Elysia found herself dissolving into a state of fatigue. It was exhausting, putting on a show all day, pretending to be interested in everything he said.
She was late to supper and by the time she arrived, everyone else had started eating. Just what she needed.
She took the empty chair across from Finnian, finding Shade in the corner of the room, observing from afar. No one else even knew he was there. But she was drawn to him, her gaze fixated.
"Pardon my tardiness," she finally said.
Finnian's eyes lit up. "I confess the fault is my own. I kept the Princess out too late. We were caught up in conversation, and completely lost track of time."
"That's wonderful," Maria couldn't help but voice her opinion. She sipped her wine, her eyes gleaming.
"Yes," Queen Ariana agreed, "I'm glad you two are getting along so well."
Maria inserted herself back into the conversation. "We've been frantic, making the wedding preparations since dawn. So much to do and so little time, but we will ensure this wedding is the most magnificent event of the season!"
The last thing Elysia wanted was for the subject of dinner to be details of her wedding. Instead, she found herself looking to the Queen of Susurrus. The chair beside her was empty, the King unusually absent.
Queen Lilith noticed her gaze. "I'm afraid King Richard is not feeling well tonight."
Such honesty from royals was unusual. She appreciated Queen Lilith's candor. Most would have made an excuse, anything than admit a weakness in the king.
"And how are you?" Elysia found herself asking the Queen. "Are you enjoying your time in Lyra?"
Queen Lilith smiled shyly. For some reason, it appeared as if she were unaccustomed to being the center of everyone's attention. The attention seemed to make her uncomfortable, and Elysia made sure to keep the conversation short.
"It's a very beautiful kingdom, I always enjoy our visits here. I was hoping to glimpse the infamous gardens, but unfortunately the cold was too much for Richard."
"I'd be happy to walk with you tomorrow," offered Elysia. Any opportunity to get away from Finnian's boring chatter.
"That's very kind of you. I accept your offer, thank you."
Elysia was pleased, and the rest of dinner went by painlessly enough.
After supper, Elysia did her best to rush out the door. Finnian caught up to her easily. "Perhaps we ourselves could stroll through the gardens," Finnian suggested.
She fought for an excuse. "A kind offer, but I'm afraid at this hour the gardens would be rather chilly."
"Not to worry," he took her arm and led her away, "I'll keep you warm."
Finnian slipped on a coat and Elysia was given a blanket shawl. Her fiance remained closer than ever, his body heat helping, but his nearness unwanted.
Shade followed close behind, silent, but not hidden. He could have easily maintained a close distance, as he did with the Princess on days he was perturbed with her. His decision to remain near was an obvious statement. He was not a fan of Finnian and he was making it all too clear.
Once in the gardens, Elysia felt her heartstrings tug. The memory of the ball was still fresh in her mind. She recalled dancing with Shade, how she had followed him to these very gardens. They shared their first kiss here.
A sudden longing pulled on the Princess. She wanted to turn to Shade, to grab his hand and sneak off. She wanted him.
Instead, she walked with Finnian. His arm locked around hers tightly, as if claiming her somehow. She couldn't get away if she wanted to.
They walked through the garden and at several points, Finnian seemed ready to speed their relationship along. She found herself diverting all his advances craftily. At last, when his intentions were all too clear, Elysia could tolerate it no more. She needed to be anywhere else but the gardens. This was her and Shade's place.
"I must confess I'm rather anxious to hear more about your horticultural hobbies," she lied.
Though clearly annoyed by her constant evasions, he did seem pleased with her interest. "I suppose we can journey back to the solarium. If that's what you want."
Her heart relaxed. At the very least, the sweet memory of the gardens would not be tainted by Finnian. His resolve to kiss her was unavoidable, but the idea was more tolerable when she didn't have the memory of kissing Shade burned into her mind.
Walking down the hall to the solarium, Elysia noticed Shade remained closer than ever. Shade wasn't subtle and Finnian wasn't dumb.
Rather than drone on about plants, Finnian began talking about his personal life; of other hobbies he enjoyed. "I can't wait for you to see my palace," he took her hand this time rather than her arm. "You would love it there. The scenery is exquisite, the landscapes are enveloped in color all year long. Your garden pales in comparison."
The comment rubbed her wrong. Yes, she knew of Susurros' jaw-dropping landscapes and looming waterfalls, but it seemed rude to discredit Lyra's beauty.
"And my dragon," he continued boasting, "if you think the dragons here are fierce, wait until you meet mine. No other dragon can match its strength."
She bit back a retort. It was an incredibly arrogant statement, and she wanted to argue that her parent's dragon bond was far more experienced. Ralf was also prophesied to have the strongest bond in the land. Instead of argue, she bit her tongue.
Finnian's attention suddenly flicked to Shade. "I must insist you give us more space than this. You're practically breathing down my neck."
When Shade made no attempt at moving, Finnian looked to Elysia for affirmation. She glanced at Shade apologetically. "Please, do as he says."
Shade took a dramatic step back and waved an arm expectantly, as if stating that were plenty of room.
"Ignore him," Elysia pulled Finnian's attention away, but he remained fixed on Shade.
"This really is intolerable. I must insist he remain here when you move to Susurros with me."
Elysia panicked. She would wither away into nothingness without Shade. Life would be meaningless, devoid of any pleasure, any joy. Desperate to distract her fiance from removing Shade from her life permanently, she did the only thing she could think to do. She kissed him.
After all, he had been trying all night. Perhaps if she finally gave him what he wanted, he would forget about her guardian's insolence.
Finnian's arms immediately wrapped around her, his mouth greedily searching hers. His lips pressed against hers firmly, with no intent of leaving any time soon. She forced herself to kiss him back, trying her best not to squirm out of his embrace.
When it was clear he could continue all night, Elysia finally stepped back, catching her breath. Tears stung her eyes but she pushed them back. It was horrible, this feeling inside of her. She felt violated, though she had been the one to initiate it. Her skin felt dirty, as if in need of a bath.
She couldn't look at Shade, couldn't see his reaction; didn't know if she could live with herself after this. But she had been desperate. If Finnian convinced her father to keep Shade here, that would be the end of everything. She convinced herself it had been a necessary evil.
Finnian was beyond pleased with himself. Though Elysia turned away, he reached for her hand. "I believe we are going to be very happy together," he said.
She nodded, unable to voice the affirmative. She kept her gaze to the floor. Her heart was heavy with guilt, heavy with the burdens of her future.
"I would like to retire to my room, please," she finally whispered. It was late and she was exhausted.
"Of course," he took her arm happily, keeping her close as they walked together. She couldn't tell if Shade was behind them or not. Couldn't feel his presence.
Along the way, Finnian stopped to look at himself in the mirror. He forced her gaze to their reflection. "What a beautiful couple we make," he said smugly. "Our children are going to be handsome things."
She looked in the mirror. Finnian was tall, handsome, his complexion flawless. He was grinning, impressed with himself.
Elysia finally forced herself to stare at her reflection. She hardly recognized the young woman staring back. Her eyes were hollow, broken. There was a tragic emptiness to her face.