I couldn't believe I was kissing Margot Patterson.
Scratch that – I was making out with Margot Patterson.
We had moved to her couch in the living room, Margot straddled on my lap and her arms were around my neck. Lavender was all around me, making me dizzy and foggy. She started pulling my jacket off of my shoulders, and I sat, up, removing my lips from her to help. I started to kiss her jaw and moved down her neck, nipping at it.
"No hickeys," she ordered.
I stopped and my eyes widened, not wanting to jeopardize any part of what was happening. I moved back to her mouth and kissed her hard, wrapping my hands around the back of her neck. She smiled into my touch and pulled back, watching me.
"I'm glad you came back," she said quietly, brushing my hair out of my face. I felt my heart pounding and I was worried it would come out of my chest. I smiled nervously and nodded.
"I am too!" I replied too quickly. She laughed and kissed me again, making me want to pass out. Her scent was overpowering me again and I couldn't stop myself. "I love how you smell."
She pulled back and laughed, making me flush. She looked at me, her eyes crinkling, and tossed her hair over her shoulder.
"Thanks – I showered today," she teased.
I laughed with her and turned red, burying my face in the crook of her neck. I couldn't believe where I was. If you had told me twenty-four hours ago that I would be holding Margot Patterson – the girl I had been obsessed with for a year – and trying not to give her hickies, I would want to know what you were smoking so I could try it.
But here she was, kissing the side of my face and holding me close to her. I looked up and smiled at her, my face flushed. She grinned back and kissed me quickly.
"Do you want to hang out tomorrow?" I asked, not stopping myself. Her face twisted and I wanted to kick myself. You idiot. I started backtracking. "Never mind, that was so stupid, I should have known better—"
"No, no, Eddie, sorry," she started. She sighed and shifted off of me, her absence suddenly making my chest ache. She kept her hand on the back of my neck, scratching it softly as she watched me. "I just don't really know what to do here."
I nodded and blinked.
"What do you mean?" I asked. She flushed and looked away from me, her hand still on my neck.
"I just think...I think I want to keep this quiet for now," she explained. I nodded and placed a hand on her thigh. She sighed. "I don't want you to think it has anything to do with you, or what—"
"Go, it's fine," I insisted. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little disappointed, but I knew my place. She was the coolest person in Hawkins. I was a dweeb who ran a Dungeons and Dragons club. She smiled wryly.
"'Go'? Is that a nickname?" she asked, twirling one of my curls in her hand. I flushed and felt my throat close up.
"Sorry, it just came out—"
She cut me off by kissing me, taking her hands and placing them on the sides of my face. I held her close to me, wrapping my arms around the small of her back and pulling her onto my lap again. I tried moving down her neck again, nipping at it and she pulled back.
"No. Hickeys," she repeated. I flushed and nodded. She smiled and kissed me again. She leaned back, watching me as she traced my features. I had no idea what I did to get here, but I was not going to fuck it up.
"You're so pretty," I whispered.
God damn it, you dork.
She grinned and pressed her forehead to mine.
"You're pretty cute yourself," she quipped. I felt my heart swell and smiled. She thought I was attractive? I set my forehead on her shoulder, trying my hardest to play it cool. She kissed my temple and I pulled back. She smiled shyly. "I need to get to bed."
"Oh, duh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't—"
"Eddie, calm down," she insisted. I smiled – easy enough for her to say. She was kissing some dork who nobody cared about. She was practically a demi-god in Hawkins. I kissed her again and we got up. She took my hand and lead me to the front door.
---
I was giddy and goofy, over the moon about everything that had happened. Old Margot had been right to hold out on our first kiss – Eddie was perfect.
He was so sweet and gentle, cautious with how he held me and touched me. I felt bad for stopping him from giving me hickeys – that was New Margot. She was panicked about any proof being left on my body without an appropriate explanation.
New Margot was the same one who was nervous about hanging out with Eddie, but for different reasons than Old Margot was. New Margot was worried about being caught by someone and jeopardizing everything I had worked for in the last year. Old Margot was nervous because the cute boy who had kissed her gave her butterflies.
We got to the front door, and I turned to him. Old Margot suddenly took over.
"We could hang out tomorrow. Maybe we can go to your house? My parents get back tomorrow, and they're a little intense," I nervously explained. I was panicked he would say no. He tilted his chin back and smiled at me.
"Don't want me to meet your parents?" he asked. I blanched. He was right that I didn't, but not for the reasons he was thinking.
My parents desperately missed Old Margot. They missed their dorky daughter whose incredibly small group of friends were kind and nerdy. And not that Jason and Chrissy weren't kind or nice – they were just different than what my parents were used to. My mom often waxed on about how she missed my nerdy hobbies and interests. My dad literally wrote fantasy novels – he lets me read every draft of his books. I was always destined for dork-dom. Eddie would be exactly what they wanted me to be around.
But they might slip up and ask Chrissy or Jason about Eddie, unraveling my perfectly curated façade.
I smiled at Eddie and played up New Margot's charms. I pressed my hand to his chest and leaned close to him.
"I just want one on one time with you," I fibbed.
He turned crimson and started sputtering, immediately nervous. I giggled and kissed him again, opening the door for him. He started to walk out, holding my hand tight as he stepped out into the night. He suddenly yanked me close to him, making my butterflies act up. He smiled down at me, suddenly bold.
"I'll see you tomorrow, beauty queen," he whispered, close to my face. I felt my cheeks burn and smiled, Old Margot taking over and making me nervous and awkward. He kissed me hard and dropped me, walking backwards to his car. He shot me finger guns and winked at me before turning and scampering to his van.
I waved at him as he started his Shelob, grinning as he waved frantically at me. I closed the door and leaned my back against it, clutching my chest. My butterflies were out of control, my head dizzy and full of so many emotions from my new crush. I took in a deep breath and let out a sigh.
This was going to be a problem.