(2479 words)
"Comfortable silence is so overrated
Why won't you ever be the first one to break?"
Ivy Brooks
This house is a bit weird, maybe because it's occupied by three grown men. Oh yeah, a bit of change in plans. I am now temporarily staying with Chris and his brothers until Sophie and Jack can find whoever threatened me and stop him from saying anything. I doubt they'll find him in time before he's opened his big mouth about my name and who I was with.
They've given me a room to sleep in and I think it's next to Nick's? Or Matt's? I can't really tell just yet since to me, they are a spitting image of each other.
These hallways aren't long and weaving around, it's a small house compared to what I am used to living in and for some reason, I hate it more than my job.
The room I'm staying in is upstairs and tucked into a corner, it has long blackout curtains against the decent sized windows and the floor is covered with black carpet. The bedsheets and blankets are all black and white, sadly there isn't a bathroom connect to my room.
I'm not saying it to be a snobby rich person, but I just thought that decent sized houses might have a couple bathrooms attached to the bedrooms for easier access during the night. It does suck knowing I have to walk all the way down the hall to one of the guy's rooms to pee, luckily there is a second door that leads into the bathroom so I wouldn't have to slip into their room in the middle of the night like a creep.
Right now, I'm just sitting in the large black chair against the window with my fingers hooked onto the curtain, pulling it open slightly so I can see the dim world. It seemed to be raining and the window was covered up in hot fog from the house's heat pressing against the rain's temperature. I have a large black hoodie Chris had given me, I think he was trying to comfort me but I think he was the one that needed some comfort.
He was twitching and shaking when we finally had lost the guy. His voice was broken and dead when I asked him where we could hide out that had nothing to do with my friends and I.
Surprisingly, he offered up his own home to keep me safe, he's been locked in his room and hasn't given anyone a peep. I guess he's really shaken up.
There was a light tap on the door, my head snapping towards it and my palm tightened around the gun tucked between the hoodie and my skin, hidden from view. The door creaks open, the gentle eyes of one of the triplets look around the room then stop when they saw me.
"Hey," He smiles, slipping into the room without permission but it is still their house so it's not like I can make up a list of rules and expect them to follow it.
He walks to the center of the room, looking a bit nervous. From his demeanor, I would've thought this to be Chris but Chris had longer hair than this person and there was something else different about him.
"Whatcha doing?" He asks awkwardly, his hands engulfed by the black hoodie he had on, making him look like a nervous little girl about to meet someone new. He just needs a cute bow in his hair and a pinch of the cheek.
"Admiring the beautiful world," I say in sarcasm, "Have you guys heard anything from Sophie or Jackson?"
He gently shakes his head, turning his head and looking over his shoulder to the slightly cracked open door. He looks back at me, "Wanna watch a movie with me and Nick?"
"A movie?" I furrow my brows.
"Yeah, we haven't decided on what to watch but we thought we should invite you to join us. Since you're like.. in here all the time," He explains, fiddling with the sleeves of his hoodie in a child-like demeanor.
"I'm okay, thank you." I reject, turning my head back to the window I was still keeping in view. The streets were such a washed out grey color and the sidewalk shimmered from the water splashed onto it.
I miss the city. Every time I looked out my window back home, I'd see someone doing the weirdest or craziest thing.
"Are you sure? Chris is making snickerdoodles," He offers it again, making me turn back to him. He looked so nervous, why?
Do I just bring that out of people or does he simply not enjoy talking to new people? He was fine when we all went out, so why is he so scared now? I know Chris told them about the car chase we had but I don't see how it that would make me the enemy.
I saved their brothers life- they should be thanking me, not scurrying away from me.
I sigh, maybe I should get away from the window and out of this room, it's not going to do me any good by just sitting here and wishing on a fucking star.
"I'll meet you guys down there," My fingertip grazing over the patterns on the gun's handle.
He smiles softly, nodding. "Okay," he turns around and walks out, an extra string of giddiness in his step and he shuts the door behind him.
I take the gun out from my hoodie and tuck it into the crevices of the chair, seeing the black pistol get smushed by the plushy material the more I pushed it in until only the top of the gun was slightly visible.
Great.
I hop off the chair, going towards my suitcase that barely had anything because Jackson clearly doesn't know how to pack under stress. I unzip the large thing, lifting open the flap and seeing only four shirts, two pants, one pair of sweatpants, and a shitload of bras and underwear.
Fucking Jackson.
I grab an underwear and a white shirt that I never wore back home, it was too baggy for me. If you haven't noticed, I like to show off what I have been given and that includes wearing tight fitting clothes and sheer material.
I slip into them, folding Chris' hoodie and then laying it over the bed then chucking my underwear into the small basket the guys told me to use for laundry.
I make my way out of the room and down the flight of stairs, seeing the living room couch already covered up by two of the brothers. One is missing and I'm guessing it's Chris.
One of them notices me and smiles widely, "Hey!" That is definitely not the guy that was in my room. Too confident to be him.
"Hi," I say back, reaching the couch's armrest and stopping. I turn my head to the right and glance into the large kitchen where the missing triplet was with his back to us and his head down.
I walk over to the guy, hoping that it's Chris so I can see how he is doing. I'm not a monster, I know I was the reason why it all happened and I know he's probably never experienced something like it, he's damaged and it's because of me.
The least I can do is ask if he's doing okay and pretend like I know what I'm doing when it comes to comforting people.
I stop by the guy's side, seeing that he's holding a box of snicker doodle mix in his hand and his pointer finger is tracing along the rows of letters.
A large pink bowl and a normal sized white bowl sit on the island counter top along with a whisk, measurement cups, eggs, a stick of butter, and an unopened water bottle.
"Is she coming down?" He whispers and that's when I know for sure, it's Chris.
He's definitely still scared. He looks normal right now but I know he's beyond terrified of what he went through. He's put on a mask, yes, but it's transparent to me.
"Baking up a pastry shop, aren't you?" I smile, deciding to not say something about his comment of me coming down.
He flinches, his head whipping up and when he sees that it's me, he takes a step away and then goes back to reading the instructions. It all happened in a slit second but it showed me that I was in fact correct. He was scared and he couldn't hide it that well, amateur.
"Do you like snickerdoodles?" He mumbles, his fingers going to the top of the box and begin peeling it open.
I shrug, "I do tonight,"
He nods, pulling out the clear bag filled with a light brown power. I watch him open up the bag by biting the top of it, pouring it into the large pink bowl and picking out the small bag filled with a much darker brown powder.
He sets the bag on the counter, going back to the instructions and leaning over the counter to reach the carton of eggs. He pulls out one egg then crack it over the bowl, pouring in the slimy thing.
I decide to help, walking over to the eggs and picking them up while Chris grabs the stick of butter and the small white bowl. He peels off the layer of paper on the butter, grabbing one of the measurement cups that had '1/2 cup' engraved on the side of the cup.
He cuts the butter in half with the edge of the cup, setting down the rest of the butter then scooping out the half he had cut from the cup, flicking it into the bowl, then finally walking pass me towards the microwave.
I put the cart of eggs into the fridge, turning around to see Chris clicking the buttons with a beep accompanying his fingers, then the dim light turns on and the hum of the microwave begins.
He leans against the counter, I see that he had put it in for about a minute. "So, you like baking?" I ask, trying to spark up a conversation.
He shrugs, "Sometimes,"
"What's your favorite thing to bake?" I ask another question, trying to at least get him to look at me.
"I dunno,"
"Do you ever bake from scratch?" I tighten my lips, I get very annoyed when I don't get what I want. I'm a spoiled brat get off my ass.
"No," He shakes his head.
"Want to learn how to?" I can feel the growl in my voice creep up from his dry responses, I don't like that he's basically ignoring me as well.
He shrugs, "Seems too hard,"
It's really not, Sophie used to teach me how to bake after missions and tasks to get my mind off of the things we had done. At first, it didn't help at all because I would hide in the corner like a little bitch but over time, I started to learn and pay attention. She stopped doing that after Vegas, maybe it's because I learned that human life isn't all that important.
I part my lips to ask another dumb question but the loud beeping of the microwave makes me stop. He pops open the small door and pulls out the bowl, quickly walking pass me again and pouring the bowl over the mix.
He grabs the smaller cup and opens up the water bottle, pouring the little amount of water into it and then dumping it. He picks up the whisk and starts mixing, not giving me another glance or response.
Fuck, I hate it when I break people so fast.
"Fine," I scoff, giving up on trying to get him to talk. "Enjoy crying over a bullet," I walk towards the stairs, also giving up on enjoying a movie with him and his brothers.
Chris Sturniolo
My fingers lightly press the preheat button, setting the temperature by the letters on the box while I can hear Ivy stomping up the stairs, upset.
I don't know why I didn't try to feed the conversation with her, I don't have anything against her, she didn't do anything wrong. I just can't seem to look at her without feeling like I'm going to die.
"What's with her?" Matt asks, his head arched back from the couch to look at me with a confused look on his face.
I shrug, "I'm gonna go back to sleep," I mumble, walking towards the stairs but Matt stands up.
"Whoa what? You said you'd watch a movie with us," Matt says, his eyebrows wiring together at my sudden change in decisions but, Ivy just brought back all of my fear in seconds.
"I know, I'm sorry." I talk under my breath, clearing my throat to try and shake off this fear a bit. "I'll make it up to you guys though,"
Matt looks over at Nick, trying to figure if they should let me go or not. He lets out a deflated sigh, not saying a word to me but instead just nodding as Nick turns back around. It was enough for me to turn around and head upstairs, slipping into my dark room.
I had pinned a large dark blue towel above the edge of my window, covering up the last bit of light that got through my thick curtains. It made the room very dark and for some people, the darkness scares them. They don't know what is going on around them and they fear the monsters they've heard in stories and seen in books will come out and grab them.
Not me though, I love the darkness now.
Not in a weird way like I'm going to start wearing dark eyeliner and dye my hair black but in a way where I feel safe in it. My mind has created this entire theory that when I lay in the darkness, under my covers and hidden from the world, that is when I am truly safe.
I became one with the dark and allowed it to comfort me, it keeps me safe within all of this chaos.
I felt it when I shut my eyes in the car, it was like a map to the cure for my fear. I don't know how to properly explain it, but hopefully some people understand my point of view.
Long story short, it keeps me safe from my own fears.
I peel off my shirt and socks, climbing into my warm bed and covering myself up in the large blanket. I snuggle myself against my arm and let out a gentle sigh, my eyes shutting gently in relief of finally being in the dark again.
//