"Nope. No, heck no. I'm not sitting in that thing." I spit, shaking my head left to right in denial.
Dad sighs for the hundredth time, his shoulders dropping as he stand next to the open car door. Inside is a car seat made for somebody my size. It has a five point harness and is my favorite shade of pink.
I may be small, but I don't think it's necessary that I sit in a car seat.
"Ayla, baby girl, can you please just get in? I know you don't want the seat. The LPA says it's mandatory. We had it custom ordered with your favorite color. It's very comfortable." Dad tries to convince.
I'll drink out of a bottle and maybe play with stuffed animals, but this is where I have to draw the line. Wiggling in Dad's hold, I try to escape the grasp of his arms. He holds me tightly, not letting me down on the ground.
"Ayla, you're going to get in that car right now, little lady! You are causing a scene. If you continue to fight I'll have no other chance than to discipline you." Henry finally bellows, clearly fed up.
"You're not my Dad! You can't tell me what to do!" I shriek, thrashing harder in Dad's arms.
"No, I'm not your Dad. I do have your Dad's permission to discipline as I see fit. You either get in that car right this very instant, or I'll take you across my knee in this parking lot where everybody can see."
Henry is being one hundred percent serious. He raises his eyebrow at me in a very fatherly fashion, crossing his arms over his chest. There's not many options for me here and I don't want to be spanked where anyone can see.
Slumping, I stop my struggle. Dad sighs in relief and bends, setting me in the seat. The soft fabric molds perfectly to my body as Dad buckles me in. Two straps across my chest that buckle in the middle, and one that goes in between my legs.
I would've thought my head would be touching the roof in this thing. I was wrong. My legs are dangling and there's plenty of room between the roof of the car and the top of my head. I hate it.
Pouting, I cross my arms over my chest and turn my head away from the door. Dad closes it and rounds the car, getting into the drivers seat. Mom's already seated in the passenger side. She rubs her eyes and yawns, clearly tired.
"We'll follow you back to your place." Otto tells Dad after making him roll his window down.
The car starts and we're off. I'm still upset with Mom and Dad for making me sit in this stupid thing, so I choose to keep quiet. Instead focusing on pouting and making my displeasure known by grunting.
"You can stop with all those noises back there, baby girl. We're very aware that you aren't happy with your seat. If you quiet down and stop, Mom will tell you about what's going on with school." Dad hits the turn signal, looking at me over his shoulder for a split second before turning.
I give one last huff, shutting up after that. Mom waits a minute to see if I'm going to continue then says, "The school had a conference yesterday about you staying in school. They agreed that it was best if they had a tutor for you instead.
"Hence, Mrs. Mae being one of your caregivers. She'll help with your education during the day. I know you'll want to socialize with others of your age group, so we also signed you up for Little's gymnastics. There's only one other in the class and he's a sweetie.
"We met him the other day when we went in to sign you up. You'll meet him later." Mom sounds so excited while I'm feeling like I'm on the verge of a meltdown.
I'm angry. I liked school even if it would've been harder without Lucy by my side and my new classification. Every choice is being made and some of them don't feel like they're in my best interest.
Doing gymnastics with one other person doesn't feel like socialization. Especially when they're in the same classification as me. It just sounds like a play date with extra steps.
I can feel my face turning red with anger. Whenever I'm about to blow up that's what always happens. My heart pounds in my chest as I try to contain myself. Balling my hands into fists, I try my deep breathing techniques.
My efforts to contain myself fall flat and I end up screeching, kicking the back of Mom's seat.
"No! I want to go to school," I bellow, "I don't want tutors and five random men taking care of me while you're at work! This is all so stupid!"
Dad pulls off to the side of the road close to the entrance of our neighborhood. He unbuckles his seatbelt and leans over the center console, holding my legs still so I can't continue to kick Mom's seat.
"Ayla? I need you to stop and take a couple breaths. You're working yourself up. Breathe with me, baby girl." Dad takes a deep breath through his nose, holds it for three seconds, then blows it out through his mouth.
No, he won't get me to calm down with this. It doesn't work like that. Reaching down, I try to undo my buckles. I'll walk home before staying another minute in this car with these traitors.
"No, Ayla. Don't touch those buckles. Do I need to call Henry and tell him you're having a fit?" Mom questions seriously, looking over her shoulder at me.
"Henry needs to go back to his own house with his husbands and leave me alone!" I'm screaming at this point, working frantically to try and undo these buckles.
Mom straightens and grabs her phone, making the call to Henry. His picks up almost instantly, his voice echoing through the car via the hands free system.
"What's going on? Why did you guys stop and why is Ayla screaming?" Henry sounds concerned.
"We broke the news to Ayla about school and she didn't take it well. When she gets really angry, Ayla usually reacts like this." Mom explains.
"Go ahead and start driving home. She can't get the buckles undone. I'll meet you in the driveway." Henry hangs up and Dad turns back around, putting the car into drive.
It takes less than a minute before we're pulling up into the driveway, Henry's car pulling in behind ours. My tantrum is still in full swing when my car door is pulled open.
I'm expecting to see Henry, so I'm surprised when I spot Ethan through blurry eyes. He doesn't say anything, just reaches in and unbuckles me. I'm lifted into his arms and carried inside behind Mom and Dad.
"You are going to calm down now, Ayla. We won't talk to you while you're like this. Take a couple of deep breaths and think about the way you're acting." Ethan demands, placing me down on the couch.
I push him away, hitting his arm in the process. That's when Henry steps up. He tells Ethan to go calm himself before I'm promptly picked up and laid over a hard knee. The next thing I know, a large hand is coming down on my butt cheek in a slap.
I'm frozen still, my screams stopping for a minute as I try to process what just happened. Another slap lands, snapping me back to the here and now. The stinging sensation only gets worse with time.
My legs kick back and forth as I try to struggle out of Henry's arms. He holds me still with one arm banded around my waist.
The spanking carries on with no end in sight. My cheeks are throbbing and my tears won't stop. Finally, a teary apology bursts out of me, "I'm sorry! Please stop!"
"Are you going to be a good girl now?" Otto chimes in on my discipline.
"Yes. I promise." Sniffling, I wipe my runny nose on my forearm.
Henry stops the spanking, sitting me up on his lap. He turns me so we're chest to chest and let's me cry it out on his shoulder while patting my back for comfort.
My feelings are so conflicted. Oddly, I feel better after my spanking. On the other hand, I was disciplined for having emotions like any other person. Yeah, they probably wouldn't have acted like I did. That's beside the point, though.
I've never been good with change and that's all I've been experiencing recently. It's worse because this isn't good change, in my opinion.
"Can you go get me a cool cloth for her face, please?" Henry looks up at Dad, directing his question towards him.
"Sure." Dad leaves, returning with the requested item.
Henry gently lifts me off his shoulder, cleaning my face with the soft cloth. The coolness feels good on my overheated face.
"Now that you're calm, I want to tell you why you were disciplined. Firstly, we don't throw tantrums. We use our words to communicate what's wrong. If you can't do that because you're too upset, then you'll go to your room to calm down until you're ready to talk.
"Secondly, you hit Ethan when he was trying to help you. We don't use violence to try and get our way. A spanking is different. That's discipline," Henry states after I interject to try and argue.
"Not to mention the rude way you treated your parents. I understand things are changing around you and you don't like it.
"All these changes and plans have been made to keep you safe. With your designation, your mental state will regress. We don't know when that will happen or how long it will last. You'll switch in between headspace's with no control.
"It's happened before and you didn't even notice. That's why you sleep in a crib. What if you wake up in the middle of the night and you're little, and you were sleeping in a normal bed? You could roll out and hurt yourself.
"The car seat is essentially the same. You might not realize this, but we want to keep you safe and happy. These aren't quick and fast decisions we make regarding you. Several people have sat down and discussed these changes for hours.
"Now, I want you to apologize to everybody in this room for your actions. After that, you can talk about what's bothering you. Okay?"
What he's saying makes sense. I can understand why they're doing all of this for me. Don't get me started on the embarrassment I feel for acting the way I did.
"Are you ready to apologize?" Lyle questions.
Nodding, Henry helps me off his lap and I go around the group, saying apologizes and giving hugs.
The last person I stop at is Dad. My worst fear is letting him down and that's exactly what I did today. He crouches down in front of me, opening his arms.
Rushing into them, I cling to his neck while wrapping my legs around his tummy.
"I'm sorry, Papa. I was just mad and my emotions got the best of me." I whisper into his hair.
"Apology accepted, baby girl. We're going to work on some better coping skills. Henry, Otto, Ethan, and Lyle can help with that too. Let them help you, baby. Can you do that for me?"
"I can try." I whisper.
I'm still unsure about these men. They seem stricter than Dad, yet loving at the same time. What a weird combination.
"Do you want to tell me what had you so upset, baby girl?" Dad continues rubbing my back, keeping me calm while I think about my answer.
Shaking my head, I stay quiet. I'm not ready to talk about any of that, knowing that it'll just upset me again.
"We're here to talk when you're ready. Why don't you go scamper off and play? I'll start on dinner." Mom offers sweetly.
"Okay." I shrug, even though I don't play anymore.
Wiggling out of Dad's arms, I head up to my bedroom. I'm excited to see the changes they made. Hopefully it isn't too much. I love everything about my room.