This is what happened in the hotel room before, "I will always love you more than him"
Warnings: Infidelity.
You hadn't planned on staying at a hotel. But here you were, putting your bags on the floor, looking around the dim room.
It was just a quick stop. For one night. Phoebe was supposed to catch a flight tonight, but she changed her mind, saying she'd take an early flight the next day.
It was impulsive of her. But how could you tell her no? She needed to rest.
She walked past you, put her own bag on the bed, and took out a bottle of wine. You only stood and watched as she took two glasses from the cabinet.
"Do you want some?" she asked while pouring the red liquid.
"Oh, yeah, sure..." you answered her with a shy smile.
You walked towards her when she held the glass out for you to take, then followed her out on the balcony.
The cold breeze felt good on your skin. The city lights shined in the distance. It was like the city came alive after dark. It was a beautiful sight, easy to take in, but even easier to forget.
"Does it ever become too much?" you asked and sat down on one of the chairs.
"What do you mean?"
"This life... travelling and going on tour," you went on.
"Why do you think I bought this wine?" she joked, making you laugh.
"Fair point."
She took a sip of her wine, looking out at all the shining lights.
"I'm happy you invited me," you said, smiling at her.
"And I'm happy you decided to come with."
She looked thankful. Maybe even relieved.
"Why didn't you invite Paul?" you asked unbothered and drank some of your wine.
"It's not really his scene..." she answered, drinking some more wine so she couldn't elaborate.
He didn't seem enthusiastic about her career. But you were. You always supported her, even if she had rebellious ideas and got in trouble, you were her partner in crime. He simply wasn't.
"His loss then," you said.
"Yeah..." she agreed lowly.
She deserved better. It was all you could think of as you drank the rest of your wine. He was an idiot. And she was the best goddamn thing that ever happened to him.
Maybe his ego was too big for him to realize that he should be more supportive of her.
"Do you want some more?" she asked, signalizing to your empty glass.
"Sure..." you said, without thinking of the consequences.
"Thank you..." you said as she poured you some more wine, and she smiled softly at you.
You liked making her feel appreciated. Because she was.
She poured herself some more wine as you stood up. You looked out in the distance, one hand resting on the railing. You heard her getting up from her chair.
Her presence beside you was impossible to ignore, especially her perfume.
"Thank you for being here," she said as she placed her hand on top of yours. It sent shivers down your spine. It felt different. Maybe it was the wine that deceived your mind.
Or maybe she felt it too. The love you had for her that you kept unspoken.
Left for another time. A better time. An appropriate time. A time that will never come.
Some part of you knew that you'd be waiting forever. But you still waited.
"I'll always be here," you stated, looking down at her hand on yours.
She squeezed your hand in appreciation and drank more wine.
Holding hands with her was nothing new, but now it wasn't the same as it always had been. It didn't feel platonic anymore. Everything had changed in a blink of an eye. Or maybe you thought so because you wished it too much. You didn't know anymore.
Now it made you nervous.
It never had before.
Not like this.
From below you heard music, and sirens, cars driving by, nothing out of the ordinary. A busy city. But in your ears your own heartbeat was so clear. It was even louder than the thoughts spinning in your head.
Trying to calm yourself down you drank even more. You felt her look at you.
She moved her hand away from yours, only to take ahold of your glass, carefully moving it away from your lips.
You felt slightly embarrassed as she placed the two glasses on the table.
The blood rushed to your cheeks, making you feel exposed. Your feelings were a secret you couldn't keep. Not because you told her, but because your own body betrayed you.
"What are you doing?" you asked uncertain as she pressed herself against you from behind.
Her arms snaked their way around your waist, embracing you. Her head resting on your shoulder. She was blurring the lines between friends and lovers.
You should have frowned upon it. You should have stopped it. Moved her hands away. Walked away and left her on the balcony. But you didn't.
Instead, you leaned into her.
Let her hold you, hug you tighter, letting her do whatever she pleased.
She pulled away, only to move your hair to one side, giving her access to your neck.
It didn't feel real. Like you were waiting for yourself to wake up from a dream.
Soft lips met your skin. It was wrong, but it felt so right.
Slowly you turned around, scared that when she saw your face, she'd realize that what she was doing was unethical. But she didn't care. She only smiled at you.
Her hand cupped your face, her thumb stroking over your lips.
You inhaled sharply, knowing that this was against the laws of monogamy.
It was taboo, the start of a forbidden love affair.
But that was exactly it, it had a start, which meant it would have an end.
So, it didn't matter, as long as no one found out.
Just one time, no one had to know.
Therefore, you let her pull you closer, you let her lean down to meet your lips.
You let her get lost in you, and somewhere along the way you felt yourself fall even deeper in love with her, but she didn't need to know that.
This was just the result of the alcohol in her veins.
But to you, this was what you had dreamed of since you met her.
A fantasy, something you wouldn't act on. That somehow happened regardless.
You let your hands slip underneath her sweater, and she kissed you harder. Your fingers traced her stomach, and upwards towards her breasts, exploring her, feeling her up.
She moaned into your mouth, and started to undress you, throwing your denim jacket on the ground.
It didn't take long for her to push you inside the room again, closing the door to the balcony, leaving the wine bottle and the half empty glasses on the table.
She helped you out of your clothes and was quick to move her bag away from the bed. She had no time to waste, anything in her way got thrown away, out of sight. Then she got on the bed and undressed herself while smirking at you.
"Come here," she said with a soft smile tugging at her lips. She looked utterly beautiful. Sitting criss-crossed, just waiting, as her anticipation only grew bigger.
With no hesitation you straddled her, and she pulled you in for another kiss. A much softer one than before.
You felt yourself falling deeper in love. You shouldn't have done this. You'd be a mess once all this was over, and you knew it. But right now, it felt good to be wanted by her, even if it was for all the wrong reasons. So, you let your hand creep in between her thighs.
She did the same. She didn't need to think twice.
The room was filled with moans and soft whimpers as you pleasured each other. Two of her fingers slipped inside of you and it took you by surprise. She chuckled, leaning into you, nuzzling your neck, placing sloppy kisses wherever she could.
This wasn't what friends did. Friends wouldn't have gone this far.
You were crossing the line every second, making everything worse, loving each other in a way you shouldn't. It was impossible to take back.
No amount of conversations would make your relationship the same ever again.
But truthfully, you didn't care about that right now, as you rode her fingers, chasing your release. Your own fingers grazing her clit, your tongue caressing hers, swallowing each other's moans.
Because for just this night, she was yours. You kept repeating it in your head, like it would justify it, like you somehow got to call her your own. That in this hotel room, you could do whatever you wished together, and it would stay here, in between these four walls.
No one would have to know that a few glasses of wine ended up in an affair.
"Fuck, don't stop," you panted, so close to release that you were going to lose your mind.
Your free arm swung around her, your nails scratching her back as you tried to get as much friction as possible.
She fucked you harder, and your hot breath hit her neck as you tried to keep pleasuring her, wanting her to come undone too.
Her thumb grazed your clit and sent you over the edge. Your hand tugged at her hair, maybe it was harsh, maybe it wasn't. It didn't matter. She chuckled.
She liked it.
She gave you time to catch your breath, peppering your collarbone with kisses, biting your shoulder. Those small things only confused you more. She took her time.
Nothing made sense anymore.
Coming back to your senses, you took ahold of her jaw, only to clash your lips onto hers, kissing her deeply while your fingers found her clit once again.
She moaned loudly, without a care in the world. Your strokes were fast, and you added more pressure, figuring out what she liked. You had both forgotten about the wine, what time it was, and even where you were.
Nothing mattered.
Just her.
She was bad odds, but you were a luck pusher. Even if your relationship had zero chance of going back to what it once was, you were still pushing it.
Her tongue caressed your own as you stimulated her. She started shaking, and you knew you had her. In the palm of your hand, she came undone, bucking her hips to ride out her orgasm.
And now you had pushed it to the limit.
Her forehead was glistening. The hotel room reeked of sex and sweat. A painful reminder of what you had done.
Instead of saying anything, you snaked your arms around her, embracing her. She did the same, slowly stroking your back. You didn't need to talk about it.
You both knew it; this shouldn't have happened.
Before you pulled away and got off her lap you kissed her temple.
Something sweet to remember when all this was over.
You sat up against the headboard, trying to clear your head.
Phoebe was silent.
Maybe she didn't know what to say.
Maybe regret had already washed over her.
It was impossible to say.
You didn't regret it. So, you thought of confessing, right here, right now.
To tell her you loved her. It couldn't end worse than this, right?
You had already ruined it.
Why leave anything unspoken? What more could it possibly ruin?
"I'm in lo-" you tried to speak but were cut off.
Time and time again the chance for love had passed you by.
That is what happens when you wait too long.
"This was a bad idea," she stated, her fingers running through her hair in regret.
But she had initiated this. Not you. She booked the hotel room, she bought the wine, she kissed you. Not the other way around.
"Then why did you kiss me?" you asked.
"I don't know."
It made you angry, you felt used.
"Then you should have stopped yourself," you said, feeling betrayed.
You knew it would end this way. Still, you were hurt.
"I didn't, but I should have, it was a mistake. I'm sorry," she apologized.
"Are you mad at me?" she asked, scared of the answer.
"For fuck's sake, of course I'm mad at you! You just use me and throw me away like I'm nothing to you..."
"I haven't thrown you away, or out for that matter," she said confused.
"Well, you don't need to, I'm leaving, it's what you want isn't it?" you asked, while getting out of bed.
"But I didn't ask you to leave!" she said, as she looked at how you paced around the room gathering your clothes.
"You want me to leave, but you don't want to be alone either, you just can't admit it."
"I didn't say that! You're putting words in my mouth!" she yelled while she got out of bed herself and quickly started to get dressed too.
"Don't be worried that Paul's going to find out. It's as you said, 'a mistake' it won't repeat itself. I won't mention anything about this... whatever this was."
You took your bags and ran out of the room and slammed the door behind you, your hair was a mess as well as your clothes. It was obvious that you had left in a hurry.
"Wait!" you heard Phoebe yell from behind you, so you only sped up, quickly disappearing down the corridor.
You got into the elevator, and loud footsteps were coming closer, fast. She was running, trying to catch up to you. But now she was the one that was too late.
As the doors were closing, you saw her, she looked hurt, maybe even more hurt than you did.
"Fuck," she panted, you heard her through the doors. She sounded defeated.
The elevator doors opened down in the lobby, and you let out a sigh of relief as you stepped out, walking towards the exit.
But to your inconvenience the door to the staircase flew open, she had run down the flight of stairs just to get to you.
"You can't be serious..." you said annoyed.
"Don't leave, I don't want that."
"Fuck you, Phoebe, you just don't want to be alone," you yelled at her.
"All your friends are on your payroll, but I was yours for free," you screamed at her.
You both knew that you weren't wrong. But you could at least admit that you were being an asshole, something she couldn't.
"You only think about yourself!" you yelled as you walked away.
"Look at where that got you, Phoebe."
You left her standing on her own in the hotel lobby.