Celeste Moroni-
It's been one week since I killed Michael. One week since Samuel was forced to grow up. One week since the American Mafia truly suffered.
Everything has been a blur since then. I've stayed in bed and barely came out. The others brought food to me, but I barely touched it. Everyone tried to convince me to leave my room, but I couldn't.
Everything just hurts too much. I wanted to end it all four days ago. I just wanted to finally end my misery and be set free.
Flashback to four days ago...
I stare at myself in the mirror and I'm truly disgusted. I hate, no despise the person I have become. I don't deserve anything good or pure as it was stripped away from me.
All I see in this mirror is my horrible mother. Our faces match each other so well it disgust me. I don't want to look like that monster, or I'll become one.
No maybe I already am one. I have become everyone's demise and they'll all hate me. One persons forgiveness isn't enough when everyone else will hate me.
They'll beat me and kick me. They'll destroy me with their words that hurt like bullets. I will end up causing their death.
How can family do that to each other?
I look down at my knife sitting on the counter and contemplate. One cut, no multiple cuts is all it takes to end the pain. A few slices and it's all over.
I'll finally be at rest with the stroke of my blade.
I pick up the blade with shaky hands and stare at myself. No tears are left for me to cry. The heartbreak ends with one slice.
I place the blade on my arm and hold it there. I start to apply pressure before a knock and one voice stops me.
"Celeste can you come out so we can speak sweetie?"
Flashback over...
I almost killed myself four days ago. I almost took myself out of this horrible world. All the pain and suffering would've ended four days.
Somehow my father, no Axel new the right time to come talk to me. Somehow he knew deep down inside that I needed him right at that moment.
Flashback...
"U-uh y-yeah one second." I stutter out dropping the blade. I pick the blade back up and hide it before pulling myself together quickly. I mask my face with false emotions before opening the door.
Axel stands in front of me with a small smile and pie. Pie?
"Hi I've never had to do the feelings stuff, but here I am. Are you okay with everything that's happened recently?" He ask placing the items on my bed.
"I'm fine, how are you?" I ask still feeling awkward. He indicates for me to have a seat next to him.
"To be honest I've never done the feelings bullshit either so let's drop it. We can eat this pie in silence and watch a movie if you'd like?" I ask not wanting to talk about how I feel.
"That's fine with me." He says with a big fatherly smile.
Flashback over...
I've started to leave my room more, but I won't speak to anyone. Axel may have comforted me in a way, but it wasn't enough.
No more feelings and no more attachments. I have one job and that's to take down the Italian mafia and kill everyone that stands against me.
I'm a heartless killer and I don't care nor love anyone. My only missions in life are to take out the people who must go. My mission is to brutally murder people to prove a point.
My mission is to ruin everyone standing in my way.
A mission I will follow through with. A mission that will set me free. A mission that will prove I'll forever be alone.
A mission that will prove if I'm heartless or if I care too much.
My bones still ache from all the beatings and battles it's gone through. My face still reminds me of my mother so I refuse to stare into the mirror. I've covered every single mirror left inside my room.
I only uncover it when it's needed for me to look at myself in the mirror. Moments where I need to see how truly ruined I am.
I've removed my blades and put them away for my own safety. I will complete this mission before I fall apart and destroy myself.
My eyes are all dried out and all my tears have vanished. I'm no longer able to cry, nor smile. I hold the same dead look in my eyes as I'm already dead.
I've never been "alive" to anyone. I've never "existed" so I'm a ghost. A ghost who won't find happiness. Since these past few weeks have been rough Axel has kept us away from school.
I already know what I need to know, but the boys still are struggling. Fucking dumbasses. Elio has been watching my every move for some reason.
Either he's being protective or Michael told him. If Michael told him then I would have to kill him. I don't want to kill Elio he's grown on me, but I will have to.
Anyone who finds out must die. I won't let them keep my secrets and hide in shadows plotting my downfall. I bite my lip before memories of Michael come back.
I stare down at my hands as I see flashes of red. My hands start to shake as they're covered in blood. My vision starts to become clouded as memories rush back.
The torture room. The one room that has always haunted my childhood. The room that really took away my innocence. The room that I felt the most insane in. The room that made me question my whole existence.
I look around and I'm no longer in Italy, I'm in American. I look down as my hands have shrunk and I'm small. I'm about seven years old and have no happy memories left.
I haven't smiled in two years. Two years a pure pain that would continue for many more years. I was so young, so pure.
I'm surrounded by blood covered walls and a crying boy lays next to me, Joshua was his name. He wandered into the wrong woods and stumbled upon our house.
I became his downfall.
He cries before me begging me not to kill him. Tears falls down my cheeks as I cry with him. I turn around and I'm faced with the devil, my mother.
I never understood how such a young child like myself was capable of murder. I didn't know what I was doing back then. I didn't know how wrong it was.
My chest starts to beat out of my chest as my panic attack takes over. Joshua's cries end and I'm left with only the sound of my heart. The only sound echoing off the walls were my own cries.
I hear my name being called in the far distance, but I can't recognize by who. I stare down at Joshua who's laying in his own blood with three stab wounds. I freeze like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs.
I stabbed him three times. A pure innocent boy who had a family. A boy who just ran to the wrong part of the woods. A boy who had so much to live for.
I feel someone grab my body and hold me, as I fight back. I can't breathe and I can't see anything but him. "Celeste calm down please." Someone begs behind me.
I try to fight whoever is holding me down as tears fall from my eyes. Many people are yelling but I'm struggling to focus on them. I clench my fist so hard that blood begins to spill.
Spilling my own blood would've been better than spilling his. Poor boy didn't even get to grow up and really become something great.
I gasp for air as tears fall down my cheeks. I try to claw at my neck as someone stops me. I feel something pierce my neck as I fall limp in someone's arms.
The last thing I see is Joshua's body staring back at me with wide, pure, innocent eyes.
_________
I bolt awake as my body shivers with me. I try to move my legs but something, or someone is holding them down. I blink my eyes twice before noticing Enzo sleep on my legs.
His hair is scattered everywhere as he has eye bags. He looks so peaceful when sleep, but when he opens his mouth I want to slap him. He's been looking very tired recently.
I would say with my here their life hasn't been very easy. I know he's been hurting the most though. Matteo informed me on how Axel yelled at him. I just didn't expect it to be this bad.
I reach out to touch his hair as he opens his eyes. My hands fall back and I start staring at the window ignoring his stare. I hear him yawn before sitting up, and from the corner of my eye I see him fix his hair.
"Wanna talk about it?" He ask without any joy in his voice. I turn to him as he's already staring at me once again. "Don't worry about it." I say back playing with my rings.
"It seemed like you were having a panic attack. Nothing I've ever seen and it was like you couldn't even see us." He says staring down with a saddened look. I look up and meet his saddened eyes.
"I'm fine so you can go now." I say back harsher than I wanted to. I watch as Lorenzo stands before moving closer to me. He leans in close to my face before staring into my eyes.
I suck in a breath as he keeps his eye contact with me. His hand slowly moves towards my cheek before fixing a strand of my hair.
"これからも命をかけて守ると誓います。彼らがあなたに別の手を置かせることは決してありません。" He whispers in my ear walking away.
(I swear to protect you with my life from now on. I'll never let them lay another hand on you.)
Little shit head doesn't even know I just understood what he said. I was raised by my mother so I know every single language.
He wants to protect me but it will only cost him his life. I will be the cause of everyone losing their life. A life where they could've done so much more in.
Once he's long gone I feel myself start to breakdown once again. Who would've thought that killing Michael would bring back memories of Joshua, the lost innocent boy.
All this killing is bringing back memories deep down I've wanted to stay hidden. They're bringing back the broken Celeste and slowly repairing her.
Flashback...
My mother drags me around the house making sure everything bumps into me. I bit my lip to hold back my small cries. Everything hurts and I thought parents protect you.
My body is covered with drops of dried blood and fresh blood. Then you have my old and new bruises which hurt. My smile is long gone as I no longer carry one.
"Celeste what is my one fucking rule?" My mother ask as I stare at the floor. I continue to ignore her and suddenly she grabs my jaw.
I stare up into the dead looking eyes that should hold love. Love is the one thing she forbid me of. Love is what she considers something we can't have.
"D-don't go o-outside." I stutter out feeling embarrassed. How am I seven years old, yet I still stutter?
She releases my jaw before grabbing ahold of my neck. I hit her hands over and over as her grip gets tighter. I cough as my lungs burn for air.
"You better listen to me next time or you'll take your last breath." She says before releasing my neck and smacking me.
I fall to my knees gasping as tears fall from my eyes. My lungs burn like they're ever burned before. It's always a new scar each day.
I was only seven years old.
Flashback over...
I bring my hands up to my neck before rubbing it. Tears prick at my eyes as I just let them fall. I was so young and innocent before. She ruined me and now I'm just like her.
I'm just like my captor, my ruiner. We are the same person now and we destroy everything in our path. She fought for her happiness and here I am doing the same.
I know that killing them wont make me truly happy, but my freedom will. My freedom will cause this empty feeling to fade away right? Will I finally find the person I was meant to become before all of this?
I wipe my tears and get out of bed. I stare at myself in the mirror and see the image of a tired, broken girl. I quickly tie my hair up into a bun before leaving my room.
As I walk downstairs everyone is surrounding the table as breakfast is being made. I take my normal seat next to Elio and wait for it to be ready.
He sets down his phone before moving closer to me. "Are you okay?" He whispers in my ear as I turn to him. I nod my head yes and his eyes tell that he doesn't believe it.
Elio doesn't really communicate or show emotions to the others, but he does for me. I guess the two siblings with crazy trauma would bond the most. We're just too alike and it's sad. Nobody should have to go through what we did.
He scoots back over some, but I move even closer to him. It's just a survival instinct where I feel safer with him. "So school is out of the picture until tomorrow because tonight we have a mission. Well I have a mission for all of you." Axel says while throwing files across the table.
Elio stands before speaking, "These people have been stealing money from us, so we have to take them out. So Romeo you'll be on stand by once again and boys you'll follow my lead."
"What about me?" I ask even though I shouldn't. This is a good way to get closer to their mafia. "You're still recovering from many things and it's best if you stay home." Axel says.
"I won't stay home. I'm tired of sitting here I want to be included is that so hard? Please let me help you know I have the skills." I ask desperately.
Elio and Axel exchange looks before nodding yes. I sit back with a small smile after I get the answer I wanted. No matter how many times I'm beaten I will always do what I must.
I have to ruin their mafia even though I don't want to. This mission has many outcomes and I'm still deciding on who I should chose. Hopefully the final decision will be the best one.
"So Celeste you'll be with me for safety precautions." Elio says and my mood changes. This isn't good he's the most observant so I won't be able to get anything done.
I nod my head so he knows I heard him. Everyone eats their breakfast silently as they prepare mentally for the battle ahead. I prepare by texting my Mads all of the new information.
__________
Mads hasn't texted me back yet, but she left me on fucking read. So that means I have to play along with Elio since there is no secondary plan.
I finishing dressing in all black and attack all my weapons to myself. I stare at my red dagger for a little longer before grabbing it.
Oh the memories this dagger holds. I take a deep breath before pushing everything away. I can have a breakdown later today.
I walk downstairs fully dressed and see everyone loading their guns. Once I'm close enough Elio tosses me an ear piece so we can hear each other.
I glance at Enzo as he turns towards me. We both hold eye contact for awhile before Elio starts talking. "Everything is prepared so let's move out. Romeo remember you stay back in case of any medical emergencies."
Everyone nods their heads before walking out. I find myself very close to Elio once again. For some reason my body relaxes more near him. I hate it but at the same time I love it.
I hop in the front seat with Elio as everyone hood in the back. Romeo leaves us to go to his own vehicle with medical equipment.
We sit in silence while driving to our destination. "So Celeste how are you?" Matteo asks me with a small smile. It's weird for him to check up on me since we had a whole fight not too long ago.
"Don't even start with that fake ass bullshit." I say back. "Actually it's not fake if I tried to fucking talk to you about it not too long ago." Matteo says as rudely as I did.
"Can you shut the absolute fuck up so we can get this over with?" I ask feeling my blood boil. "How about you shut the fuck up." Matteo says back.
"Or you both can shut the fuck up." Someone says from the backseat. I quickly turn around as I notice Enzo and Matteo staring at Antonio.
"Did you just talk and curse?" We all ask at the same time. Antonio smiles back before staring out the window once again.
"Wow I didn't expect that." Matteo says with a sigh. I laugh a little bit before watching Elio drive. I see his head slightly turn my way as he focuses on the road.
From the corner of my eye I can see him staring at me every once in awhile. I give him a small smile being focusing on the task ahead. I keep playing around with my gun to calm down my nerves.
My body still aches from days ago and I hope my mother doesn't do any crazy shit. My body can't take it anymore, it's fully starting to give up.
We start arriving to the location as everyone exits the car. Elio signals for the boys to go there way and that I stay close to them. We all are going inside the building just taking different routes.
The boys go through the back while Elio and I go through the front. I check the right while he checks the left. We slowly travel through the building looking for people, but it seems to be empty.
"Elio this doesn't seem right." I say as he nods his head. We enter this room at the end of the hall and find bodies stacked on top of bodies. I suck in a breath as Elio sighs.
"Yo they're all dead let's go." Elio says in the ear piece. I turn away from him as I hear a ticking. I try to find it, but it seems to be underneath the bodies.
I start moving the bodies as Elio stares at me like I'm crazy. I freeze in my tracks as my veins go cold. She planted a fucking bomb. My eyes widen and Elio walks over to me.
"It's a fucking trap EVERYONE OUT NOW!" Elio shouts at the ear piece. I still haven't moved and Elio catches that. He grabs ahold of my arm and starts dragging me out of the building.
Everything moved in slow motion as we heard a loud bang and our bodies went flying.
I cough as my vision seems to be blurry. The explosion didn't hit me I know I was closest to it unless. "ELIO!" I scream from the top of my lungs. I start breathing harshly as I start looking for him.
My hands shake as I start to panic even more. First the bomb and now this. Why did my feet move? Why did I just stand there? I killed Elio.
Everyone could be dead and it's all my fault. It's always my fault. I feel tears spill for my eyes and I hear a clank in the distance. I run to the sound and find Elio barely moving.
It's all my fault. It always is. Every time it should've been fucking me. Why is it never me?
He took the hit for me. He pushed me out of the way because I took too long. I froze up and I could've killed him. My heart races as I look for a pulse. It's low and he probably used the rest of his energy so I could find him.
"Enzo, Matteo, Antonio are you okay?" I ask in the ear piece but everything is static. I look around and see nothing but flames spreading. The building looks like it could collapse more.
I killed everyone. I killed each and every single one of them. Axel will know it was me and he'll kill me I hope. I don't deserve to be called his daughter, not after how I just killed his sons.
Tears spill at a rapid pace down my cheeks as my lip quivers. It's cold and everyone's dead. I'm dragging the body of my big brother.
I grab ahold of Elio's arm and start dragging him away the the building. My body aches against me as I drag him through the dirt. We're stranded and nobody is going to save us.
"It's all my fault. I'm sorry Elio, I'm so sorry." My voice cracks as tears keep falling.
We ran into a trap I caused. I didn't know but it's all my fault. I thought her plan would've just been the bodies I didn't expect a bomb. Why the hell would she plant a fucking bomb.
Warm hot tears keep pouring down my cheeks. Once we're far enough from the building I feel for Elio's heartbeat. His hearts still beating and that's all that matters.
I grab my gun and take off the safety for our protection. I look down at Elio and see him start to move. "Don't move please. I don't know what the bomb broke so please don't move. H-help is coming soon." I stutter as I wipe my tears.
Elio coughs some before staring up and me. "In my right pocket is a distress signal for situations like this. Press the button two times and they'll come for us." He says while coughing some more.
I move to grab it out of his pocket and press it two times. "Why two?" I ask as he cracks a small smile. "Two is my lucky number if you didn't know." He says with sarcasm as I remember that he was tortured for two years.
I try to give him a smile but nothing comes. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry Elio. It's all my fault and you took the hit for me." My voice cracks and tears well up in my eyes once again. "We will make it Celeste. If anything you will. I couldn't protect you before, but now I could." He says before blacking out once again.
My heart stops once again. No he can't be dead. I can't lose him god please no. For the millionth time I check for a pulse and it's barely there this time.
"CELESTE! ELIO!" I hear some scream, no not someone Enzo. He's alive. He's fucking alive.
I stand up before screaming from the top of my lungs. "ENZO!" I hear footsteps running towards me and I smile to myself.
"Elio they found us." I say while rubbing his arm trying to wake him. I stop smiling before feeling his pulse.
I feel nothing.
__________
A/n-
Such a beautiful chapter. Sorry it took too long I meant to post yesterday but lost track of time. Don't worry I'll get another chapter out this week. Maybe even three since I've been so neglectful.
The question of the day is, is Elio actually dead? I guess you'll have to wait and see.
*not edited*