The room was still for a few moments as Nyssa stayed kneeling down in front of Sara, gazing deep into her eyes. Sara broke the contact and looked away.
"I never said I love you."
"You never said that you don't."
She looked back at her with annoyance.
"I don't love you."
"Then make me believe it, because right now, I don't."
Nyssa stood and removed each of their bindings. She told them to hide and stay out of the way. She will deal with them when they get back.
"What are you going to do?"
"What I have to do."
"Nyssa."
Sara held tight on her wrist, half fearing for Nyssa's safety and half fearing for what she thinks she meant.
"I am going to kill them, Sara."
She sat on one of the chairs in the middle of the room, waiting for their captors to return.
She has to protect her. It doesn't matter what Sara would think of her after what she's about to do, as long as she's safe.
She closed her eyes trying erase the look of fear she saw in Sara's eyes. Fear of her, she thought. Maybe it's better that she finds out who she truly is, before she gets dragged further along her dark path.
She could her the murmur of words and the patter of footsteps coming towards the door. The men entered and didn't notice right away that the girls were not where they left them.
Nyssa quickly assessed the situation as to how best to decapitate her opponents.
"Hey! Where are the others?" One finally noticed.
"Somewhere you can't touch them." Nyssa answered still seated.
Their leader smiled deviously at her and laughed.
"You, bitch. Who do you think you are? Don't you know who you're messing with?"
"Who you are is irrelevant to the situation, but since you're so eager to know," she then slowly stood up from her seat, "I am Nyssa, daughter of Ra's al Ghul, heir to the demon. And I guarantee you your deaths."
The men started laughing until Nyssa threw a shard of glass she had picked up at the throat of one of them. She moved swiftly as the men made their move on her. She threw quick precise and lethal blows to knock them down. Blood spilled everywhere. The sound of the bones cracking as she twisted one of the men's neck was clearly heard in the vast room. She let out a long huff of breath before she stalked her last prey.
All she could think about was Sara. Saving her. Keeping her safe. She worries about what she might think of her now, seeing her like that. Maybe it was for the best that she finds out who she really is. Maybe that would keep her away and safe. She doesn't want her away, she wants her close with her, but she can't just think about what she wants. She just has to keep her safe.
The guy was shooting at her, but with his frightened nerves and broken hand, he couldn't shoot well. Nyssa twisted his arm and took the gun from him, then she shot him point blank in the head without even wincing.
Sara and the others couldn't believe what they just witnessed. It had seemed to them that killing wasn't new territory for Nyssa. They had seen her sparring and whipping some ass, but actually killing someone without even having second thoughts, that was something else. They don't know whether to feel secured or frightened.
Nyssa walked over to where they were hiding. Her exterior showed the tough cold-blooded killer she is, but inside her heart was breaking from the look Sara had on her face. A look she couldn't quite read, whether it was disgust or terror. Whatever it was, it was eating away at her.
"We have to go."
Max and Rebecca slowly stood up, still a bit stunned by the whole experience. Sara stayed where she was, staring up at Nyssa.
"Who are you?" She finally had the voice to say.
It was another dagger to Nyssa's heart. The hurt, anger and disbelief that resonated in Sara's voice, the words she had spoken, they made her fears come crashing down on her, but she tried to remain unfazed. It was like all hope that she had of fixing things between them was lost from that moment on. There was no going back from that. She would have found out who she truly is eventually, but it still pained her.
"We have to go, Sara."
She pulled her up when she still showed no signs of ever wanting to move. She dragged her out of the room and through the corridors of the building umntil they reached an exit.
Sara forcefully took her arm out of Nyssa's grasp and quickly put a distance between them.
"You're right. It is for the best that you stay away. You wouldn't want to get involved with someone like me."
Nyssa's words stung and made the hurt she was feeling even worse. She had just professed her love for her earlier, but now she's all too willing to let her go.
"Don't worry, I will keep my promise. I will leave you alone. I just have to make sure you get home safe."
"How are we getting home anyway? Do you know where we are?" Rebecca asked.
"No, but I have a tracker active and left instructions to Nathaniel."
"Of course." Sara said.
Nyssa didn't even want to try and understand what she meant by that so she just kept quiet.
Minutes later, they saw the headlights of Nate's car heading towards them.
"Sorry, took me a while."
"It's fine. You're here. That's what matters. I need you to get them home safely, and call Det. Lance, tell him of the situation."
"What about you?"
Nyssa took a quick glance at Sara who was getting in the car.
"I'll find my way. Get them out of here."
"I ain't leaving you here."
"That wasn't a request."
"You're bleeding."
Sara quickly turned her full attention to Nyssa, looking for her wound.
"I know. Go."
"What the hell, Nyssa!"
Sara got out of the car again and walked up to her.
"Where is it? Let me see."
"It's nothing. I'm fine. Get in the car."
"Then show me."
"Just get in the goddamn car, Sara."
"Show me!" She shoved at her jacket and saw the bullet wound at the side of Nyssa's abdomen. "That's not nothing."
"Just go."
"I'm not getting in that car unless you do. If you think I will let you bleed out and die here because of me, you've got another thing coming."
Having no energy to fight back and seeing no point in doing so, she obliged.
"Someone sit in front. You sit in the back. Give me your shirt."
Nate took his shirt off and handed it to Sara. She slid beside Nyssa and held the folded shirt pressed to her wound.
"That's not necessary."
"Shut up."
"Take us to the hospital."
"No. No hospitals."
"I said shut up."
"I mean it."
"If you really want to die, fine."
"Take me to the house."
Frustrated, Sara squeezed onto the wound, making Nyssa flinch a little.
"Call your father."
"Max can you call him for me?"
"Sure."
"Tell him, I'm fine but tired and cannot talk to him, but I'll be home soon. "
"Okay."
Max took the phone from Nate and called Det. Lance. He was relieved of the news but clearly had a lot of questions still. He also knew that the girls must be scared and tired, so he let it pass and just waited for them.
"Why not talk to him?"
"I'm in no mood to talk, especially to you."
Everyone kept silent until they reached Nyssa's place. Nyssa went in with Sara following behind.
"I'll be fine. You can go now."
"You can't tend to yourself on you own."
"I'll manage."
"Why are you so insistent on...dying?!"
Nyssa paused as she collected herself to answer.
"Because I'd rather die than see you look at me like that. So please just leave."
Taken aback, Sara couldn't move nor speak. Her words have left her more confused and hurt more than ever.
When she got back home, too tired and shocked, she went straight to her room and plopped herself on the bed, with Nyssa's words still ringing in her head. She stared blankly at nothing then noticed the box. She reached out for it and took the last letter at the bottom. She hesitated for a while.
"What the hell." She said as she opened and read the letter.
Sara,
I know you've been wondering who I might be. I've wanted to let you know countless times, but I still hadn't gotten around in doing it, because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what you might think when you find out who I am. I'm afraid that things would change; that you'd see me differently as you do now. I'm afraid that when you find out, I would have lost any chance I have with you.
I came here as an experiment; to observe and learn how the life is in such a place. I never counted on finding you. When I first saw you, I was intrigued, because apart from all that I have seen and met, you stood out among them for me. A friend of mine had warned me not to get involved for I would only be staying for a year, and having an attachment would only make me lose my focus. But something kept pulling me to you, so I simply watched and admired you from afar. Every single detail, every simple thing, the way your brow creases when you're annoyed or confused, the way you smile at the simplest things, and how your eyes sparkle whenever you laugh, everything about you had drawn me even closer and I knew I was lost to you.
After that year, I went home. I thought I could stay there and just forget about you, or at least just dream of you, but I couldn't. I asked my father if I could go back, I couldn't tell him why at first, so because I couldn't give him a reason and thinks it's just another waste of time, he clearly disapproved. We fought. Then one night he found me staring out of the night sky with a certain longing in my eyes, he said. He asked me if there was a boy, and I said no. And when he was about to leave, I said that there was this beautiful sweet girl. He smiled knowingly and I told him about you. He still disapproved of me going back, because he knew there was nothing for me to go back to, just the idea of you. But he allowed me because he knew I would never let the idea go. And here I am.
I didn't think that I would ever have a chance to get to know you. I was contented watching you from a far. Then came the idea of leaving a simple note for you. I saw it made you smile and I just wanted to keep seeing it, seeing you smile because of me. Then came that incident. Of all the ways to finally get to talk to you. That had to be our first real encounter. In that moment, I thought everything was lost. The way you looked at me after you thought I was shooting at you, it felt like I was the one who got shot. Then you forgave me, and I had hope that I never had before.
Every moment I was with you, every moment we shared are the best times of my life. I have never felt happier. I never thought it was possible for me to be. Yet each time is when I feel fear the greatest. I fear nothing, not even death. With you, there is a fear that threatens my sanity. I fear the moment you will realize that I am not what you hoped me to be and see that I am not worth anything. I fear that I would hurt you without even meaning to. I fear that one day, you'll find out who I truly am and hate me. I fear that there will come a day that I will lose you forever. When it comes to you, I feel all different kinds of emotions that I never thought I was capable of feeling. I feel alive whenever I am with you.
They have told me, it is okay to love, but never allow that love to take control, and never give all that you have, all that you are to love, because it will be your greatest weakness that will lead to your downfall. If loving you and offering to you all that I am is a weakness, then I am ready to fall to the depths of hell. I'd rather be weak but happy with you, than strong and not have you at all. You give me a reason to stay alive and something to come back to. You may be my weakness, but you are also my greatest strength. I will do anything and everything for you. I will leave everything behind as long as I am with you.
I love you, Sara. I am lost without you. You are my light in the midst of the darkness.
Forever and always yours,
Nyssa
Reading through the letter, she hadn't noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. She doesn't know how to believe that the Nyssa she saw that night was the same Nyssa she met, who wrote these sweet beautiful letters, made her smile and laugh, and made her fall in love with her.