A/N - I'm 90% cured and still alive 😍 HAPPY NEW YEAR (a little late but oh well)
We've hit nearly 1k reads on this book and I have over 100 followers what-
TW - brief upsetting scene towards end of the chapter ❤️
~~~
I was crazed, unhinged if you will, and definitely playing with fire.
I'd hit a whole new level of low, down bad, whatever you wanted to call it; at least I was self aware I suppose.
I'd tasked Prescott with babysitting the boys for an hour while I 'ran an errand'...he didn't ask questions luckily, and the others were too infatuated by the tv or whatever else they were doing.
And me? Well I was parked outside of The Steam Room at exactly 6:48, knowing full well that Cairo's shift ended at 7. I fiddled with the bottom of my black sweater, tapping the fingers of my unoccupied hand on the steering wheel as I stared at the cafe, debating whether I should just turn around and go back home to the shitshow of my life for the night.
Live a little, Zane.
"Fuck it", I muttered, taking the keys out and opening my door, sticking one leg out before I paused- would he think I was a creep for remembering he'd told me he finished at this time? It had been three days since then. Oh fucking well.
I got out of my car fully, closing the door and locking it, taking the short trip to the cafe door before my mind dared to try and convince me to turn around yet again. I stepped inside, instantly being met by the strong scent of coffee and cake and chocolate- heaven if you asked me.
"Trouble", that damned nickname that I was becoming accustomed to made me relax a little, although glancing around the completely empty place had me on high alert within seconds.
"Are you closed?", I stayed near the door, fingers fiddling with themselves rapidly, "shit, I'm sorry- I thought you got off at 7, I didn't realise-,".
"Woah, damn, breathe", Cairo cut me off, eyebrows raised in alarm, "we close at 7, in ten minutes, which is why it's so empty- you're all good".
Idiot.
"Oh", I breathed out, heat creeping through my cheeks, "sorry".
"All good", he chuckled, "black coffee?". My shoulders sagged and I nodded, shuffling closer towards the counter and leaning my elbows against it as I watched him manoeuvre around the small space.
"Thanks", I said after a moment, watching him nod twice before glancing up at me, giving me a once-over.
"Sweater and sweatpants?", he smirked, "who are you and what have you done with Zane?". I think that was the first time he'd called me by my actual name.
"Thought I'd ditch the suit", I admitted, even though I felt more self conscious in what was meant to be laid back clothing.
"Well I like it, makes you look less stressed", he commented, placing a lid on my cup and smirking when he looked at the card in between my index and middle fingers, "free". I thanked him with a nod, slipping it away before taking a small sip and placing the drink back down, ready to backtrack on what he'd just said to me.
"You think I look stressed?", I inquired, fearing I was fitting the 'grown adult in a teenager's body' stereotype even more.
"You don't exactly look chilled", he shrugged, "not that I'm making a dig, I dunno what your life's like". Probably for the best.
"I know", I nodded, "I'm not...chilled, but I'm okay with that". He hummed, untying his apron and eyeing the three lone brownie slices still on the shelf before proceeding to grab them and stuff them in a paper bag, dropping it in front of me.
"Your sugar levels okay?", he checked and I swear my heart did a double take; the only person to ask me about that was Prescott usually.
"All good", I confirmed and he smiled, "you're the first person to ask me that apart from my brother". His smile vanished into thin air and I cursed internally at my mistake.
"Your parents don't check up?", he frowned, brown eyes searching my face for answers, "pretty messed up, Trouble". Shit Zane.
"No, they're not- I just- it's...complicated", I settled on, puffing out my cheeks and tugging at the neck of my sweater, suddenly feeling way too suffocated.
"So complicated that they can't check up on their son's health?", his frown deepened and I clenched my jaw, this was the last thing I wanted to talk about with him.
"Can we...not talk about my parents?", I scratched my neck sheepishly, "please?". I'd already had a hypo in front of the guy, I'm sure a panic attack would be sure to scare him away for good. It was Cairo's turn to clench his jaw, I could see that he wanted to push the matter further but nodded and cleared his throat nonetheless.
"You wanna get outta here?", he tossed his now folded apron down on the counter and shook his short braids out of his face, "you got a car right?".
"It's out front", I nodded, reaching for my keys with a kinda shaky hand; I'd only known him for about a month and we were going on drives?
"Come on then, I'm sick of the smell of coffee", he rounded the counter and led the way- okay Zane, you can do this.
~
I don't think I'd ever felt this laid back in my life. Knowing my brothers were safe at home with Prescott was keeping me at ease, and spending time with Cairo never failed to make me relax. Even if this was our first time hanging out outside of his place of work.
"Do you wear suits in school?", he asked out of nowhere and I frowned a little, "just wondering if the formal clothing is a personal choice or some shit".
"I don't go to school", I partially answered his question before clearing my throat and dropping one hand into my lap, keeping the other on the wheel, "and yeah, personal choice". He hummed, winding down his window and resting one arm out of it, I stole a glance over at him and watched his side profile momentarily- fucking hell. The earring, the barely noticeable stubble, the jawline- I was gonna crash if I looked at him any longer.
"School dropout", he said it with amusement in his tone, and upon side eyeing him briefly I realised he was smiling, at least he wasn't judging me, "you're full of secrets Zane". That was the second time he'd called me by my name now and it was doing things to my chest, good things.
"And you're not?", I raised an eyebrow and looked at him when we hit a red light, he just smirked and watched me for a moment.
"Touché", he snorted, "okay, I feel like I've put you on the spot too much- ask me something?". Well now he'd just put me on the spot again.
"Why the cafe? And why...here? I've never seen you around before", I carried on driving as the sound of his chuckle filled my ear, easily becoming one of my favourite sounds instantly.
"Do you keep your eyes peeled for black guys in cafes regularly?", he asked and I rolled my eyes, "I'm playing- I moved here with my Ma, it's just the two of us now". Now. Did that mean it wasn't the two of them before? I didn't pry, especially when I noticed him biting his nails out of the corner of my eye; I knew how it felt to have shit you'd rather keep to yourself...I was literally living a lie with him right now.
"How are you finding it?", I changed the subject, feeling him loosen up beside me as I pulled into a McDonald's drive-thru, joining the kinda long line and leaning back.
"It's...different", he paused for a second, "busy". He wasn't wrong, sometimes I wished we'd grown up someplace a little more secluded.
"I prefer the quiet too", I nodded, knowing full well I was about to experience the opposite when I got home, "my brothers aren't exactly quiet though".
"Five brothers", he chuckled, shaking his head a little, "you're the oldest right?". I nodded, creeping forwards as the car in front of me moved a little, I pulled out my wallet and dropped it into my lap before grabbing my phone.
"I'm the oldest", I confirmed and he sighed, facing me a little more.
"What's that like?", he asked and I puffed out my cheeks, where did I even start?
"Chaotic", seemed like the way to go I guess, "but also a privilege? I dunno, they all look up to me- which is scary and puts a lot of pressure on me, but being the one they see as their role model? I'd say it's pretty cool". He smiled, eyes studying me carefully and making me shift a little in my seat.
"You know your face literally lights up when you speak about them", that wasn't a question, he was telling me, "it's cute". I don't think cute was the right word, and I didn't know how to respond to that.
"But it's getting dark out", fucking really Zane? He laughed, a loud laugh that shoved his chuckle off of my list of favourite sounds and took its place in an instant- what was this boy doing to me?
"You're funny", he sighed, wiping his eyes, "take the compliment Trouble, appreciate it". I just nodded, staying quiet as I opened up the app on my phone that monitored my glucose levels and was linked to the pump I was wearing, currently situated on my left arm.
6.7...decent. I turned off the phone, only to find Cairo watching me inquisitively.
"Your sugar levels?", he pointed a finger and I nodded, "everything good?".
"All good", I confirmed, "in the safe zone". He smiled, settling on a nod as he gazed out of the window and bit his lip.
"Zane I uh, I don't get paid till Friday and I-,", he didn't need to explain himself to me.
"It's on me", I insisted, "think of it as a thanks for stopping me from needing a trip to the hospital".
"Fine, but there's a coffee on me for when you come back to the cafe", he promised and I grinned, I could get used to free coffee, and Cairo's company.
~
We devoured a shit ton of McDonald's, probably too much McDonald's, and the worst part of it all? For one moment, for one fucking second of my life, I'd forgotten about all of the shit going on at home, and I actually felt normal. Just for a second though, I promise.
"You might need to roll me towards my front door man", Cairo groaned, one hand on his stomach and the other smoothing over his braids. I'd agreed to take him home after food, and I'd already been out for nearly two hours instead of one, I knew Prescott's patience would be hanging on by a thread by now.
"I'm gonna sleep well tonight", I muttered, meaning it for once in my life, "do you think-,". I was cut off by the ringing of my phone, and all of the ease my body had been put at vanished in a heartbeat; I'd told my brother to phone only in the case of an emergency. I answered, holding up a finger to Cairo and giving him an apologetic expression which he shook his head at.
"Zane? Where are you? You need to come home", Caleb's voice filled my ears and I frowned even more, why did he have Prescott's phone?
"What's wrong? Why do you have Prescott's phone?", I asked, hand squeezing the phone as tightly as possible.
"Chase is sick", he revealed, "it's gross Zane, he keeps being sick, and he's crying, and it smells". Shit.
And back to reality I went.
"Okay, okay, I'm on my way", I bit my lip, "Prescott's with him?".
"Yeah, they're in Scott's bathroom", he replied, "he keeps asking for you, and the twins are pissing everyone off".
"Language Caleb", I sighed and he apologised, "fifteen minutes yeah? Think you can survive without me?".
"Course", he scoffed, cutting the call as I gazed over at Cairo.
"I'm sorry, I gotta-,", I rubbed a hand down my face and huffed, I couldn't be mad at my brother for being sick, yet it felt like everything was going wrong in my life right now.
"Don't apologise, everything okay?", he asked in concern, buckling his seatbelt and scrunching his food wrappers into a ball.
"My brother's sick", I replied, "I gotta run back and look after him, are you okay for me to drop you home now?".
"Course", he nodded, "how old are they, your brothers?". I started driving, hands squeezing the wheel and legs desperate to bounce; Chase hated throwing up, he hated it more than almost everything in the world.
"Uh, Prescott's 14, 15 in December - Caleb's the one who turned 13 on Friday, Chase- the one who's currently sick- is 11, and the twins: Alexander and Xavier are 9", I reeled off, following the directions Cairo had put in on the screen of the car.
"Nearly three teenagers", he mused, "your brother will be okay?".
"Yeah, it's probably just a stomach bug", I replied, running a hand through my hair, "I'm sorry for-,".
"Zane, it's cool", he told me, cutting me off yet again, "I get it, your brothers need you". I knew he was fighting the urge to ask me where our parents were in all of this, but since I'd practically begged him not to bring them up back at the cafe, he hadn't breathed a word of them since, and for that I was beyond thankful for it- for him.
~
I dropped Cairo home and promised I'd go see him at work sometime in the week before racing home as fast as I possibly could without getting a speeding ticket, I didn't need that on my plate and none of them were in a life or death situation.
By the time I pulled up at home and headed inside, all I heard was...nothing. Huh.
Entering the kitchen first I noticed Caleb asleep on the sofa, remote control in his hand and a blanket loosely draped over his shoulder, the tv was still blaring in front of him and I chuckled to myself quietly. Only he could fall asleep in those fifteen minutes between our phone call and now.
I scooped him up and held him in my arms, running a hand through his brown hair that I was still becoming accustomed to and holding him against my chest as I ascended the stairs slowly. There was a little more noise up here though. I slipped into Caleb's room and tucked him in, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead before I closed his door and headed into Chase's- I could hear the twins whispering in their room and while they should've been asleep, they could wait for now.
"Zane", Chase practically whimpered from his curled up position on the bed, Prescott sitting beside him and rubbing his back, "I'm sick".
"I know, I'm here", I advanced across the room and kissed his forehead before ruffling my other blonde brother's hair, "how many times?".
"Five", he replied, "all of his dinner, dessert, and whatever the fuck he ate at school- handled it like a champ though".
"No I didn't", Chase mumbled, sitting up and looking at me with his bright blue eyes, "I cried".
"And that's fine, I know you hate it when you're sick Chase", I squeezed his shoulder, "when was he last sick?".
"Twenty minutes ago", Prescott replied straight away, sparing a brief glance at his watch, "bucket and towel right there".
"Can you stay with me?", Chase pleaded, latching onto my upper arm like I was gonna vanish.
"Course", I gestured for him to budge up, looking at Prescott, "thank you for tonight, I owe you".
"No you don't", he rolled his eyes, "I'm gonna go to bed yeah? School tomorrow".
"Thank you Scott", Chase whispered, earning himself a smile from his older brother.
"Anytime", he ruffled his hair, "feel better in the morning yeah?". He nodded, bringing the duvet up to his chin and sighing; my brother gave me one last nod before leaving the room, his closing shortly afterwards. I climbed under Chase's duvet and lay on my back, wrapping an arm around him and holding him against my side; he was tiny compared to me.
"Did I ruin your errand thingy?", he asked quietly, fiddling with my sweater, "you smell like McDonald's".
"No, you didn't ruin anything Chase", I promised, "I grabbed some on the way home". He nodded, accepting that answer, before breaking out into a yawn.
"Night Zane", he sighed, resting his head on my stomach, "te amo".
"Night Chase", I kissed his forehead, "te amo más".
~
"It's not fair, I'm sick too", I swear to you, Caleb was put on this planet to test my patience on a daily basis, "I should stay off as well".
"And how are you sick?", I narrowed my eyes at him, making eye contact with Chase who was curled up on the sofa in his pyjamas with a blanket as well as a bucket.
"I'm sick of the twins' bullshit", he replied and I had to refrain from laughing.
"Caleb", I warned, "just get your shoes on".
"But it's Tuesday- you know I hate Tuesdays", he threw his head back and groaned, "everyone gets to do French and I have to sit alone with the stupid tutor".
"I thought you didn't mind the tutor", I frowned, "and I thought you liked Tuesdays- that's when we sit and read together right?".
"Yeah", he mumbled, "it's a lot Zane".
"I know", I squeezed his shoulder, "but you're trying, and that's all I want you to do yeah? Go get your shoes".
"Can Theo and August come over today?", he raised his eyebrows, slowly making his way over to the doorway.
"They can come over when Chase is better", instead of arguing back like I'd expected, he sent Chase a small smile before nodding and leaving the room- he always had a soft spot for Chase.
~
I dropped everyone excluding my sick brother to school and made us some breakfast; Chase was in front of the tv still wrapped up by the time the front door knocked at eleven in the morning- not one day of peace in this house.
"Two secs", I told my brother, lightly jogging over there and pulling the door open, "oh".
"You look like you've hit rock bottom", Enzo Hyde, not exactly who I was expecting to see today, or ever again. He was probably the closest thing I had to a friend in school, and well, since I didn't go to school anymore and he and I didn't really hang out outside of the place, I assumed that was our friendship over.
"Good to see you too", I muttered, letting him step past me and remove his shoes, "uhhh...why?".
"Why what?", he raked a hand through his dishevelled brown hair and eyed me up and down, "when were you gonna tell me about your Dad? Or you leaving school?". I don't remember him being this talkative.
"Never", I shrugged, "why are you here?".
"Zane, who is it?", Chase's voice filled the air and Enzo frowned, turning on his heel and heading into the kitchen- fucking hell, "Enzo?".
"You remember me?", he sounded ecstatic, I rolled my eyes and followed after him, "I thought you were the smart one Chase, not in school?".
"I'm sick", he waved the bucket in the air to get his point across, "why are you here?".
"I was asking the same question Chase", I levelled Enzo with a look and he surrendered.
"I need to talk to you", he revealed and I waved a hand, "grown up stuff".
"You're not even legal", Chase muttered, "you know I can just take out my hearing aids, probably won't hear much". I didn't know whether to laugh at that or not, I could never tell if he was joking.
"I'll save you the hassle", Enzo grinned, strolling over to the patio doors like he owned the place, "it's a beautiful morning Zane".
I fucking bet it was.
I sent Chase a small smile before following my 'friend', thinking of all the possible things he was about to come out and say to me.
"What's up? And cut the bullshit yeah, I have shit to do", I didn't mean to sound so snappy, but between the lack of sleep I'd had looking after Chase and the lack of coffee in my bloodstream, today wasn't the day.
"Word out there is you wanna go legit", how did he even?-, "people talk Zane, you're not handling shipments, you're going to coffee shops, looking after five kids- word gets around".
"So?", I crossed my arms and peered inside, Chase seemed pretty content watching the tv.
"So...what did I always say in school?", he mirrored my actions, folding his arms and watching me expectantly.
"That you wanna go legit", I knew that like the back of my hand, the guy never shut up about it and I didn't get it until now, "so what you're saying is-,".
"We should", he waved a finger between us, "you and I, me and you- will my Dad kick me the fuck out? Yeah, but why not?".
"And you're being serious?", I narrowed my eyes at him and he rolled his eyes, dropping his hands onto my shoulders and staring at me with his grey eyes.
"You want to be safe for them right? I want to get the fuck away from what my Dad does, you know that- why the fuck not?", he shrugged, "don't think too hard already, all the time in the world".
"Zane! The door!", Chase's voice pulled me from my thoughts and I cocked my head to Enzo, signalling for him to come inside- this conversation would have to continue later. I watched him perch on the edge of the sofa beside my brother and begin to make conversation while I went to answer the door, I wasn't expecting to see Marco at this hour. Or at all today.
"Cousin", he greeted me, dusting his already spotless white shirt and looking me up and down, "you look too relaxed for what I'm about to tell you". Fuck.
"What happened to your face?", that question came out without a second thought, apparently I was unable to move past the black eye and bruised cheek he was sporting.
"Had a few...pests in the basement who thought they could fight back", he shrugged, "made them pay, don't worry".
"Didn't doubt you for a second", I snorted, leading the way to the kitchen, "what's wrong?".
"You have company", he stated, eyeing Chase in curiosity and Enzo in distaste, "another pest".
Marco was a simple person- living in the shadow of his father for 17 years meant he disliked everyone his father did...and Salvador Delgado and Thatcher Hyde did not get along.
"Marco Delgado", Enzo stood, ruffling Chase's hair before coming over and resting his elbows on the kitchen island, "how did it feel, driving that bullet through dear old daddy's-,".
"Will you keep your voice down?", I hissed, jerking my head at my brother, "Chase?". He turned, cheeks a little rosy and eyes looking like they were about to close any second.
"Mhm?", he hummed, yawning loudly, "sorry".
"Upstairs, please?", I asked with my hands, keeping it simple as I knew he was still learning; I'd been teaching myself sign since that day when he was 6 and I was 13. He nodded, understanding what I'd said, and taking himself, the blanket, and the bucket out of the room, not until he'd hugged Marco though.
"Any reason why he's here?", my cousin asked once Chase was out of earshot and his bedroom door was closed, "didn't know you let rats into the house Zane".
"And you're like a cockroach", Enzo scowled, I just rolled my eyes and rubbed my temple, I didn't need this shit.
"What is it?", I asked Marco, ignoring his question. He didn't agree with me going legit so I didn't care to enlighten him on Enzo and I's potential agreement.
"You want me to say it in front of him?", he asked and I waved a hand, "Santiago has contacted me from the cells". As if someone had grabbed me by the neck, I lost all oxygen in an instant, so many questions circulating my head straight away.
"Saying what?", I kept my voice as steady as possible, although I could feel my body beginning to tremble and my heart beginning to drum erratically. Breathe Zane.
"He wants you to count your days, and apparently them too", he jerked a chin upstairs and I pressed two fingers against my temple, "I can-,".
"Stop talking", I instructed, the invisible hands around my neck squeezing tighter, "I need you both to leave".
"Did you hear what I just said? He's-,", I couldn't do this, not today, not right now.
"I fucking heard you", I snapped, tugging at the neck area of my sweater, "and I'm sure you heard me".
"I'll uh, I'll leave you to it", Enzo rubbed my shoulder and I flinched at his touch, "think about what I said yeah? No rush at all". I could barely hear him walk away, or the door close, not over the sound of my heart pounding against my chest, threatening to break free from my rib cage.
"Zane, you really should-,", I needed to be alone, as alone as I could get in here right now anyway.
"If you know what's good for you, you'll leave", I choked out, blurs clouding my vision and my mouth growing dry, "please".
He stayed dead still for a moment, before huffing through his nose and turning, the door shutting shortly after- shit, shit, shit. I all but dragged myself up the stairs, trying to keep my rapid and desperate breathing as quiet as possible as I opened Chase's door and peered inside- he was asleep, soft snores filling the air. Good.
I closed the door with a trembling hand, practically rushing to enter my room and slide down the closed door, bringing my knees up to my chest and dropping my head with a shaky sigh.
"You're safe, you're okay, you're safe, you're okay", I whispered my mantra under my breath, pressing my forehead into my knees and panting, "fuck".
This was how it was always gonna be, wasn't it? Me barely having a grasp on my own sanity while plastering on a smile to try and keep theirs okay. I didn't know how much longer I could do this for, I was gonna break soon...it was fucking inevitable.
~~~
A/N - great to be writing again😍
Enzo Hyde...if anyone remembers that name from Isabella you deserve a medal cuz I forgot he existed until yesterday whoops- he'll be more regular in this book🫡
I know I keep asking about potential book ideas BUT what are your opinions on a book just filled with random bonus scenes from all sorts of POVs??🧍🏾♀️
Until next time...