(1599 words)
"Promised it would all be good
But does this feel good to you?
'Cause you promised not to fall
Didn't you, didn't you?"
Ivy Brooks
My sore legs carry me into the dark building, my hands gripping onto my large black duffle bag I used to carry around my stuff. My black heels clinking on the wood floors with Sophie and Jackson laughing like a pair of jackasses who just won five hundred dollars from a bet.
They make double that amount every five seconds.
"Who's making breakfast tomorrow?" I ask, chucking my keys into the small white bowl we had at the front door.
I kick off my heels, making my way towards the stairs while keeping an ear out for a response and when I don't get one, I just assume that the new guest will take the little job that is rewarded with a place to stay.
"Night assholes!" I yell, hearing them giggle and talk as the door shuts. I smile, making it up the stairs rather quickly and slipping into my room.
I shut the door behind me, scanning the pitch black room with the dim outline of my furniture and things all around the large area. I do have to admit, Z has outdone herself with this place.
I drop my things, immediately walking across the room until my hands gently ghosted over the soft fabric of my blackout curtains. I grip onto it with both my hands, each on different sides before pulling them open.
The city's dim lighting pours into the room, looking like a glow in the dark painting. All of the small dots for light, the swayed lines that created such large buildings, and the beautiful moon herself sat at the very top.
It was breathtaking.
I've always loved the city at night, it was where the perfect mixture of enough darkness and sinister thoughts were able to cover up everyone's idea of a picture perfect person.
It allowed them to hide in the dark corners of the club or the crowded streets of Hollywood. To slip out of their masks and show the world who they really were- all for just one night. The downside of it all, is the lack of control you have over people.
When they let themselves go and relish in their freedom with no regrets or worries, there is nothing you can do to stop them. You cannot bribe them with anything because they already have everything they need and you can't convince them because why would they listen to you?
They've completely let go of their humanity and are left with their bare soul. That soul is what has kept us alive all these years and decades, it's what is woven into our DNA. They are feral, living in that moment like it will be their last. They throw everything valuable out the door and are driven by on their primal instinct, being free and taking what they want.
It's chaos. They're chaos.
But when the morning after comes and that instinct is back to being under layers of edited personalities and masks, they're back to walking on eggshells and worrying about the outcome to everything they say and do. It's a shame and a blessing all in one.
I feel a small buzz in my jacket's pocket and I pinch out my phone, seeing a message from the man killer herself, Sophie.
From Soph
1:35 AM
Wanna go to the rooftop and smoke with me?
To Soph
1:36 AM
Only if you roll.
From Soph
1:37 AM
Why wouldn't I use my one and only gift?
I chuckle, shutting my curtains again and heading out my bedroom door. I hear the hallways whispering in the dark, my feet taking me down the stairs again until I reach the front door.
I lean down and grab ahold of my obnoxiously large black boots, they almost go up to my knees and I like them. They make me feel extra powerful.
I slip them on and walk into the night sky, hearing the faint sound of cars beeping and muffled chatter from all around. Some of the voices were loud and angry while others were laced with chuckles and happy tones.
I make my way around the left side of the building, my hands keeping warm in my pockets as my eyes try to navigate through the dark area that was covered up by trees and bushes.
"Hey sexy!"
I look up, seeing the poking head of Sophie looking down at me. Her bright hair slipping off her shoulders and down, almost completely hiding her face in the shadows.
I smile, "Mind coming down and walking me up?"
"Hell no, c'mon girl." She shakes her head, bringing her arm into view and I see that she's holding something in between her fingertips.
A ziplock bag. She shakes the bag teasingly, her bright smiling shining in the darkness. "It'll be worth it,"
I scoff, giving her a smile before walking towards the side door. I pull the heavy thing open and the loud creaks of the door echo into the rows of stairs. I begin my way up the stairs, my thoughts echoing around my head like the clinks of my heels in this tunnel of never ending staircases.
"Fuck," I breathe out, my eyes shutting as I keep myself from turning around and just smoking in my room instead.
I take back what I said about Z, I don't like walking miles and miles just to smoke.
The sound of a heavy door dragging open makes me look back up to the last row of stairs, seeing that bright blonde hair and those pretty eyes as Sophie looks right back at me. "Come on slow poke! I'm dying of liver failure!"
"I told you to lay off the rum," I smirk, picking up my pace and trying to keep my lungs from collapsing. I hop onto the last step, walking pass Sophie who was kindly holding the door for me.
I step onto the cement floor, feeling the wind flowing through the strands of hair on my head and hearing those city noises being slightly more faint from the sound of the wind whispering in my ear.
"Yayyy!" Sophie giggles, scurrying over to edge and I see her little set up. A tray sits on the ledge with her grinder, papers, the ziplock bag, and her hot pink lighter.
"I already smoked one so this one," She plucks up the perfectly made joint, smiling happily and handing it to me. "Is for you,"
I smile back, taking the joint and grabbing the lighter as well. "Where's Jack?"
"He's asleep, knocked out right as his head hit the pillow." She chuckles, sitting down and leaning her back on the small wall.
I step forward and sit on the ledge, staring out into the night and seeing a much more open view of the city. It looks so calm down there, but I know there is much more sinister things going on down there if you just zoom in.
Everything is ugly up close.
"Has he said anything about that guy with the virgin cocktail?" I furrow my brows, bringing the joint up and pinching it between my lips.
"Not really, just that he thinks he'll be difficult to convince." Sophie's voice kind of fades from my mind as I flick the lighter, seeing the bright color engulf the tip of the joint.
I inhale softly, trying not to test my limits tonight since I'm already tired and we have things to do tomorrow. "Has he been paying any attention to my work?"
"Oh yeah, always talking about how he could've done it himself and how he's way better than you." Sophie smiles, the top of her head leaning into my leg as she relaxes in her position.
"Ha, idiot." I smile while pulling the joint from my lips and feeling the warm smoke trailing down my throat. As soon as I feel it pour into my lungs, I part my lips and allow it to exit my body.
The smoke spills from my lips, my eyes shutting with my tastebuds cringing at the foul taste of the plant. I never really liked the taste.
"He looks innocent, don't you think?" Sophie arches her head back, looking at me with those big doe eyes and I look back at her.
"I guess, but so did I when I first started." I remind her, taking another hit from the joint but this time, stopping the smoke when it reaches the back of my throat.
"You still drank and swore like a sailor," Sophie sighs out, looking forward calmly. "I just wouldn't wish this on anyone,"
I pinch my eyebrows together, picking up on the fade of her voice as she explained. "Wish what? Traveling the world? Having all the money you could ever dream of?"
"Constantly looking over your shoulder, never being able to put down roots.. it may look like a dream come true but the ugly truth is.." She trails off, her voice a faint whisper from the reality of her situation setting into her chest.
"It's a death wish," She finishes, my lips opening up and letting out the cloud of smoke into the air.
I sigh, placing my hand on the ledge and turning my head back towards the city. I analyze it some more, feeling that same fear and dread that we never let come out, lay down on my chest.
"Everything is ugly up close,"
//