My consciousness slips in and out of the real world.
I remember Kakashi yelling at someone saying they weren't going to get Sasuke or me.
Then it went black. Then I remember Kakashi carrying both of us up the stairs.
Then it goes dark.
Then I remember being laid in a bed and Kakashi talking to me.
He was asking me what it felt like. I tried to answer but went under again.
When I woke up the next time it was to see the blurry outline of the snake woman who put the curse on Sasuke, except not a woman now but a man.
He was standing next to my bed with his tongue jutting out.
"You'll stay with Sasuke if you value your life," He said before I closed my eyes again.
I'm falling into something. A vat of oil it seems.
I try to wim up but it's dragging me down. Gasping for air all I get is oil.
I can't breath. My lungs are filling with black oil that seems to make me heavier.
I'm dragged into the vat of black thick liquid. I can't breath, I'm out of air. I open my eyes to see where I am but only see red.
It taste like blood.
My feet hit something hard and the blood drain away leaving me choking on the ground.
Kurai my brother waits for me there.
"Hey baby brother" He says with a smile.
I try to breath but my lungs are filled with oil and blood.
He walks to me and picks me up. I struggle but he pulls me into a death hug.
Complete torture and pain flares through my body and attacks every part of me.
I can't even scream. I'm drowning on the inside and tortured on the outside.
How do I get out?
Why can't I scream!?
My eyes open and I gasp and pant. I'm staring at a white ceiling now.
I pant for thirty seconds before I hear Kakashi's voice.
"Nightmare?" Kakashi asks.
I look over to the side and see him in a chair reading his book.
I don't think I can answer. My throat burns and feels like it's bleeding.
Was I screaming out loud?
I just can't seem to focus my eyes on anything. They shake from fear and fear alone. Kakashi gets up and walks to me.
"How do you feel?" He asks.
I can't calm my breathing which is very surprising.
I open my mouth to tell him I need water when my arm burns.
"Arg" I say holding my arm and scrunching in pain.
Oh come on! Why was it still hurting?
It does wake me up though.
Kakashi frowns.
"Hmm, I thought that would have stopped by now" He says.
It stops now and my breaths become labored.
Kakashi turns to Sasuke who is in a bed next to me but with a breather on his face.
Kakashi flicks Sasuke's arm and I flinch.
I felt that. It felt like I just got flicked as well.
He looks at me "You had a breather too" He says.
I raise an eyebrow at him. Okay? So?
"But you healed much quicker and they ended up taking it off when you could breath by yourself."
I nod then sit up.
Needles were in my arms giving me medicine.
I take the needles out and see that that aren't normal needles.
"The needles broke against your skin when they tried injecting you" He says chuckling.
I rub my arm "Sorry about that" I mumble.
I throw off the covers and look for my stuff.
My clothes have been washed and my equipment is laying there neatly.
Next to the clothes was a glass of water.
"Did you feel it when I flicked him?" Kakashi asks.
I drink the entire glass then turn to him.
I nod "Yeah" I say in answer.
I grab my clothes then go behind the changing curtain.
"I'm almost certain that any pain that is given to either of you, the other will feel as well" Kakashi says.
I change and say "I know." I walk out from behind the curtain then say "Actually I knew that would happen all along"
He raises an eyebrow "Oh?" He asks.
I nod "It's a shared curse." I say. "I've had one on me before, placed by my brother"
He looks surprised "How did you take it off?" He asks.
I click my belt into place then look at him "Who says I don't still have it?" I ask.
Kakashi looks surprised "So you share pain with another person still?" He asks.
I shake my head "No, the person I was connected to died and I haven't felt the same pain ever since"
I so remember the sensation of bugs and worms eating my skin though.
I was connected to the one person I called a friend before.
My brother didn't like it and took it as good training.
He kidnapped my friend then tortured him in the worst ways possible.
I felt it for weeks. I searched and searched for my friend but never found him. Suddenly the torture stopped after a few months.
Another few months then I felt the bugs eating me alive.
That's when I knew he was dead and buried.
That's when my brother told me what happened.
I've wanted to kill him ever since.
Kurai did a lot of bad things to me. Painful, excruciating things to me, but that one almost killed me.
I shrug and pull on my boots "I guess the connection broke after their Chakra died." I sigh and get up "My uncle knows how to soften the curse though. He won't take it off because he'll think it's good training or something but he will soften it to where I can feel the pain to a certain extent or with an exception"
Kakashi nods. "I see, but if Sasuke is sleeping, how are you awake?"
I frown and look at Sasuke. "Because," I say "I still feel drowsy and sore just not to the extent he does. Sasuke takes most of the damage inflicted on him while I get the stuff he can't take. The stuff scraped off of the top. It's so as to keep him just alive"
Kakashi nods "That's a good point"
I nod and turn.
"Hadeki" He says.
I stop and look at him.
"Your eyes" He says.
I blink "What about them? I can walk with my eyes closed" I say.
He shakes his head "You won't have to" He says.
I raise an eyebrow "What do you mean? Did you find contacts or something?"
He shakes his head and points to a wall mirror.
I look over at the mirror and my eyes widen.
My eyes color, it's normal.
"What," I say, stepping back in surprise.
My eyes are a bright blue that shine a little.
I walk over to the mirror and touch the skin under my eyes.
"How did-" I start.
"Try to summon it," Kakashi says.
I don't even have to think of it but they just appear.
"But how? I've never been able to hide them" I say.
Kakashi looks at Sasuke "I think Sasuke's ability to hide his sharingan eye has leaked into you during the sealing."
"That's unbelievable" I say in shock.
I'm so surprised at how easy it is to go in and out of the disguise. I always thought it would be harder than that.
After doing it five more times I settle for normal eyes.
I drop my arm and turn away from the mirror.
I nod at Kakashi "Thank you" I say "For showing me"
He nods.
I turn and for some reason feel emotional about it. I don't walk out but I don't say anything. I stare at the ground trying to get a grip of myself.
My eyes start to water. Have they ever done that before?
I blink but they won't go away.
Was I really that emotional about my eyes?
Yes. Yes I was. All of my life I've had to hide my Jubaku eyes. I want even allowed to have normal eyes in my own house because Uncle was afraid I would get out of line and kill someone.
I always had to go through the tiresome routine of contacts my entire life.
Stabbing my eyes was hard enough but now that I can easily disguise them, things are so much easier.
That wasn't all of it though. Why was Kakashi here?
Did he really stay to make sure we were okay? Why did he care so much?
Whenever I fell unconscious in my training when I was younger I would always wake up in the same spot with the lights off and alone.
It would always be so cold scary being alone like that.
I never got a chance at something like waking up to someone watching me to keep me safe.
A tear falls from my eye in slow motion and carries to the ground.
It land on the ground splattering a little.
"Is something wrong?" Kakashi asks.
I glare at the ground at where the tear fell. What was that and why did it feel so heavy?
I bite my lower lip as there's a weird kind of aching feeling in the back of my throat like I'm holding something back.
"It's just that-" I start holding my hand out so the tears can fall onto my skin.
They're warm and make a funny sound when they land.
I'm so confused. Why are they falling? I haven't cried in so long that I don't know why I'm doing it.
"I'm not bleeding but it hurts a lot" I say as more tears fall.
He looks surprised "Is your curse acting up? I was sure we stopped it"
I shake my head "No" I say shakily. I inhale sharply then ask "What is this?"
Kakashi is quiet "What?" he asks, sounding very surprised.
I turn and hold out my hand palm up to show the wet liquid on my hand that landed.
He looks into my misty eyes in surprise rather than my hand.
"Why are they coming?" I ask. "What's the point?"
I stare at him searching for the answers.
He looks at me then sets down his book and gets up off the chair.
Kakashu walks up to me and says "They're tears. You're sad"
My eyes widen. What? What did he mean? Why am I sad? Nothing happened, I didn't get stabbed or lose a fight.
He folds my hand over the tears and pushes my arm down then says "You've been through a lot of mental stress and now you finally can't take in anymore. You had to let it out sometime or another and now you have. With the kind of training you've been through, it's a wonder you can smile at all"
I look at my closed fists and stare at it in horror.
'The kind of training I went through'. I went through a lot of training. Strength, torture, poisons, nightmares, and so on.
"Why now?" I ask my voice shaking "I never cried before so why now?"
"It's because you didn't cry before that makes it so difficult to do so now" He says.
Tears keep slipping out of my eyes and down my cheeks as I glare at the floor.
Suddenly he sets his hands on my shoulders.
I gasp a little then look up at him.
"You can cry." He says. I stare at him with watering eyes. "You don't have to fight it now. You did well, take a break"
More tears pool out of my eyes.
I was always told to suck it up, keep your chin high, don't show emotion, and never cry.
But Kakashi was allowing me to cry. Should I?
It's not my decision. With his assurance I cry.
Quiet whimpers escape my throat as the tears come down.
I let my face go from angry to anguished.
My arms lay limply by my sides, helpless. They don't know what to do so I don't move them.
In fact I can't move any part of my body. All of my focus is on my crying.
My body is cold while my face is warm.
Kakashi pulls me into him and wraps his arms around me.
I accept the embrace for once and weep.
Everything is so complicated it hurts.
I feel that with every tear that falls is another problem.
I cried a lot of tears, a lot of problems, all gone with the water.
Kakashi doesn't let me go because he realizes this is just what I need, though, I won't admit it.
He doesn't say anything because he knows that in the end, words are just words and some don't even reach the ears of someone in sorrow.
"Thank you" I say quietly into his vest.
Finally I settle and after sniffing for a second I pull away.
I turn and quickly flee the room, leaving him and Sasuke alone.