"Hi, Leah!"
At the sound of this voice, I cringed. It was too early in the morning for me to deal with this.
"Hi, Mona," I greeted back, not wanting to be rude to her for what she would think would be for no reason.
She continued to smile as she fell into step with me, and I wanted to tell her that I just wanted to be left alone.
"So... you and Blake," she continued on now, and this was the last subject I wanted to discuss with her. "Are you guys good friends?"
I bit the inside of my cheek. "You could say that."
She nodded, and we continued walking. "Did you guys... ever date?" she asked me now.
As much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn't lie to her. "Yeah," I nodded. "We dated for a little while. Nothing too serious, though."
So I still ended up lying to her, but it wasn't like it was any of her business anyway. She didn't need to know how much Blake and I really cared about each other.
"Do you still like him?" she questioned now.
My breath caught in my throat. That wasn't even the right question to ask me. The right question to ask was whether or not I still loved him, and the answer was yes. But I didn't want her asking me that. She obviously didn't think our relationship had ever been serious.
But I now noticed that she was looking at me strangely, which annoyed me a lot. Without even meaning to, I found myself snapping, "What?"
She blinked, caught off guard by my tone. But she quickly got over it before saying, "I just can't believe Blake dated such a pretty girl. I mean, he's really good looking and all, but he's never really... liked people very much.
Was she seriously being nice to me right then? I didn't want her being nice to me. I didn't want to like her, but she was making it hard by complimenting me. Couldn't she just go away?
Luckily, the bell rang before I could say anything back to her, so I quickly excused myself and made my way to first period.
"What's wrong with you?" Jaz asked, as if noticing I wanted to strangle someone as I took my seat beside her.
I didn't answer her, because I honestly didn't want people to know that I was upset. I wasn't supposed to be dating Blake, so I shouldn't have been upset or jealous over his ex-girlfriend. Especially when she had been my friend before Blake had come back...
Jaz noticed that I didn't want to answer, so she didn't press on as class began. Christian wasn't there yet, which surprised me, but I wasn't in the mood to ask where he was.
But I really did hope that he was there, since today were the auditions for the play. Christian was so serious about this that I knew he'd be there, no matter what he had to go through.
Fifteen minutes into class, the door opened to reveal Christian. I expected him to look panicked, since he was late, but he just acted as cool as he always did. Nothing about him looked out of place in the slightest.
"Where have you been?" I asked as he took his seat behind me.
Even though I couldn't see him, I knew he shrugged. "I woke up late."
Of course he did. On such an important day, he was completely relaxed while I was freaking out. I had no idea what I was supposed to do, but Christian was perfectly fine. I was going to have to ask how he did it later. Because I definitely needed to relax about a lot of things.
When lunch rolled around, Blake and I had met up so we could buy lunch together. It was the only time we were alone during the school day without any of our friends, and we were going to enjoy it. Even though we still couldn't do anything because the rest of the school was still around us.
I wished that we could have eaten lunch by ourselves, but we both knew our friends would be suspicious if we did. They already didn't when we were five feet from each other, so there was no way they'd be okay with us being alone.
My stomach dropped when I saw that Mona was already sitting at the table with the rest of our friends. The only ones that weren't there were Christian and Jane, but I assumed that Christian wasn't there because he was practicing for his audition. But Jane, I had no idea.
Blake didn't seem to notice that I no longer wanted to sit at our regular table, so he just plopped down right beside Mona, which ticked me off even more. I knew we couldn't sit next to each other, but he could have at least sat next to Derrick or something.
I placed my lunch on the table as I sat beside Leslie, which was right across the table from both Blake and Mona. I tried my hardest not to stare at them, but it was honestly really difficult.
"Leah, do you know what we should do?" Cassie suddenly asked me, and it caught me off guard because I was too busy staring at Blake and Mona.
"What?" I asked, finally tearing my eyes away from them.
There was a look in Cassie's eye that worried me a little. She only ever had that look when she had an idea, and I usually never liked her ideas. They usually somehow ended up with me dating Sean, but since she was now his girlfriend, I knew it would finally be different.
"We should join the cheerleading squad!" she practically squealed, as if it was the best idea ever.
I just stared at her, at first, because I didn't know if she was joking or not. I really thought that she could have been fooling me then, because a cheerleader was probably the last thing I'd ever want to be. Sean had tried to get my on the squad before, but it hadn't worked because it would have meant I had to spend even more time with him. I didn't know why Cassie wanted us to join now.
"Why?"
"Because we're hot enough to be cheerleaders. Duh."
I didn't have a response to this, and honestly, I didn't think I wanted to.
Cassie scooted forward in her seat, excited about what she was going to tell me. "Just imagine it, Leah!" she continued on now. "If you join the squad with me, you'll get back into your groove for sure! You've been out of it for a while"—she looked at Blake as she said this—"but I'm sure you'll go back to normal once you're around more popular kids!"
That sounded like the worst possible plan she could have ever come up with. The only thing that would make me normal again, if that was even possible, was being able to date Blake out in the open.
Cassie noticed right away that I wanted to say no to her, and she didn't waste a single second. "Just think about! Just think! You'll be wearing short skirts, low-cut tops, and it'll be a form of exercise!"
Blake looked uncomfortable, and I sure hoped that no one else noticed.
"And it'll probably help you get another boyfriend," she finished now, glancing right at Blake as she said this.
Cassie was going to kill me one day. Couldn't she just do things on her own?
I forced myself not to look at Blake, because I didn't want to know what both he and Mona looked like. It would have just been better if I didn't know.
"Hey, sorry I'm late..." a new voice now greeted, thankfully changing the subject. It was Jane, who stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Blake and Mona sitting next to each other. "Oh... That brings back memories."
And cue another stab to my chest...
"Yeah, you guys must have had a lot of fun times together." I forced a smile, even though I felt like wrapping my hands around her neck and just squeeze and squeeze until she turned purple.
"Oh, we have," Mona nodded enthusiastically before turning back toward her ex. "Blake, remember the time you and I had to babysit my cousin and after we put her to bed, we watched old Disney movies on VHS and ended up falling asleep on the couch?"
No. Way. I was not going to sit here and listen to the adventures my boyfriend had with his old girlfriend. She knew that we had dated, so why was she talking about this in front of me? Was she stupid, or was she trying to annoy me?
Blake laughed. "Yeah, I remember. We both woke up when your aunt and uncle got home while Lady and the Tramp was on and you were halfway off the couch."
Mona laughed as well before giggling, "I'm surprised I fell, though! You always held me so tightly!"
Okay, that was enough! I could not sit here and listen to this anymore. Before I even realized it, my plastic fork snapped in half right in my hand.
Derrick blinked at me. "You okay?"
I let out a huff. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"
He didn't say anything, since he obviously had no idea what he could say. He didn't know about Blake and Mona, and he didn't know that I was still secretly seeing Blake. To him, and everyone else, I didn't have any problems.
I now turned toward Jane, fed up with everything that was going on around me. "Can I talk to you?" I questioned, grabbing onto her arm and yanking her away before she could even answer me. "Please?"
I made sure we were far enough away from our friends so they couldn't hear what we were saying and so Blake couldn't read our lips.
"Is everything okay, Leah?" Jane blinked.
"Why didn't you tell me Mona went to school with you guys?" I had to ask.
Jane blinked at me, as if she was confused. "I didn't think it mattered... Why do you even care?"
I bit the inside of my lip. This was so stupid. Jane was one of my closest friends, and I was lying to her.
I was lying to all my friends.
"I just wish I knew that Blake had had a girlfriend before me, that's all," I simply responded, trying my hardest not to look like it bothered me.
"I guess I understand," Jane smiled now, but I was pretty sure she didn't understand. I was pretty sure no one understood. "Honestly, it wasn't ever that serious between them. Sure, they dated for five years, but they acted more like friends than anything else. Well... friends that kissed."
Thinking of anyone else kissing Blake made me tick just a little. It shouldn't have, but it did. And I hated it.
The bell rang soon after that, and I quickly shouldered my backpack and left for class without saying anything to anyone, including Blake. Hopefully this would make him see that I wasn't exactly comfortable with him being around Mona.
The rest of the school day went by quickly, even though I wished that it wouldn't. The sooner school would end, the sooner the auditions would be, and I was not looking forward to it. I just knew I was going to make a fool of myself.
"You shouldn't be worried, Leah," Cassie grinned as we made our way into the auditorium, but this didn't make me feel any better. "You're going to do absolutely fantastic!"
I felt like I was going to be sick.
I didn't want to do this. I wanted to back out, but I knew I couldn't. It was too late to back out now, and it would have disappointed Mr. Summers.
"Yeah, sure," I muttered, and I was surprised that she didn't notice I was lying to her.
"Since we're seniors, we have an even bigger chance of getting lead roles," Cassie continued on now, even though I really didn't care. I wasn't really expecting to get that big of a part because it was a musical.
I saw Mona and Christian make their way into the auditorium now, and I quickly looked away from them. I knew that they were going to sit next to us, and there was nothing I could do about it. If only Mona wasn't in drama. She was the one I wanted to go away.
Mr. Summers clapped then, gaining all of our attention now. He informed us on how he would be calling us up in pairs to audition, and I wasn't sure if this made me feel better or worse. I wasn't going to be up on stage alone, but if the person I was up there with was better than me, I was going to feel horrible.
Luckily, I wasn't first to be called. I always hated going first, no matter what it was for. It was always the worst when you had to go first or last.
"Leah," Mr. Summers called out after a few more pairs went up to audition, and if felt like I was going to throw up. "You're up. You'll be auditioning with Christian."
This was both good and bad. It was good because I was friends with Christian, so it wouldn't have been awkward with him. But it was bad because he was so good that I knew I was going to look terrible compared to him.
Christian was up on stage before me, and Cassie practically had to pull me out of my seat to get me up. I let out a long breath before practically forcing my legs to let me go up on stage.
"Alright," Mr. Summers nodded once I finally got up there. "Once the music starts, you two can begin."
Oh, no. Please tell me there was some way I could get out of this. I didn't want to do this anymore!
Even though I was practically freaking out beside him, Christian didn't seem nervous or worried at all. He even seemed to be enjoying himself, but I wasn't that surprised. He belonged on stage. I, however, did not.
"Summer loving had me a blast," he started, and I felt like I was going to throw up.
"Summer loving happened so fast," I responded, and I was pretty sure I sounded like I had no idea what I was doing.
Christian smirked at me, and I couldn't tell if it was because he was in character or if it was because he was just smirking at me to smirk at me. "Met a girl crazy for me..."
I gulped. "Met a boy cute as can be..."
"Summer days drifting away," we both sang now, "to... uh, oh, those summer nights."
Now it was the chorus, which we luckily didn't have to sing. I still felt like I was going to throw up, and I didn't know how I'd be able to do an entire show if I did somehow get the role of Sandy. Would it be as bad as this?
We were supposed to dance a little, which I completely forgot until Christian started moving. I almost let out a shout, but I knew that would be bad so I kept it in my throat.
When I suddenly tripped, I knew it was all over. I wasn't going to get Sandy; I was going to get some horrible part in the back as an extra.
But much to my surprise, I didn't smash to the floor. I looked up to see Christian had actually caught me, and I was now lying in his arms on stage.
I laid there, stunned for a few moments. I completely forgot what I was supposed to be doing, and that was definitely the worst thing I could have done. The music continued on, but luckily it wasn't my turn to sing. If it was, I definitely wouldn't have made a sound and I would have screwed it up completely.
We continued no from there without any major screw ups. I felt myself slur over my words, and I would stumble over my own feet a few times, but other than that, it didn't go as bad as I thought it would. I didn't throw up on stage, so that was good.
"Leah, you did so great!" was the first thing Cassie said once I sat back down beside her.
"But..." I blinked. "I fell."
She waved this fact away, as if it was no big deal. "Still, you were amazing! It didn't even matter because it looked like you and Christian planned it!"
I didn't know if I believed her or not, so I didn't say anything else about the subject. I just sat through the rest of the auditions and waited until it was finally time that I could get out of there.
Cassie wanted to hang out afterwards, but I turned her down because I honestly wanted to be left alone. If I hung out with her, I knew all she'd want to talk about were the auditions, and they were the last things I wanted to think about now.
I just sat in the driver's seat of my car for a few minutes, feeling like I was going to cry even though I didn't. My eyes burned, and my vision blurred, but no tears fell. I didn't even think that there was anything to cry about.
I knew where I wanted to go. I wanted to go to Blake's apartment. I wanted to be with him. But first, I had to go to my house to pick a few things up.
A half an hour after the auditions were over, I was at Blake's apartment. I hadn't told him I was coming over, but I knew that wouldn't be a problem. I usually popped in unannounced.
But as I made my way up to his door, I felt tears cloud my vision once again. All I could think about was how I screwed up at the audition. Even though everyone did say I still did great, I was sure it was only because they wanted to be nice. They probably thought I would crack if they weren't nice to me.
But I knocked on the door anyway, not wanting to go back to my house. I'd just feel even worse there.
"Hey, are you okay?" Blake asked, his eyes wide when he opened the door and saw that I was almost in tears. I didn't answer, mostly because I choked when I tried to speak. I just stepped inside his apartment and wrapped my arms around him, missing being able to do this outside of his apartment.
After shutting the door, he led me over to his living room and sat me down on the couch, demanding I tell him what was wrong. I informed him of how I thought the audition had gone horrible, and he looked relieved when he found out that it was only that and not something major.
"Hey, I'm sure you did great," he assured me with a smile, but it didn't help much because he wasn't even there. "Everyone always thinks they did worse than they actually did."
That was true... Blake was right. I shouldn't have been upset about it. There was no point in being sad.
So instead of continuing to cry, I picked my bag up of the floor and opened it. "Let's watch these," I suggested, producing the video tapes from my bag. Blake looked down at them in surprise. "Doesn't it sound like fun?"
"The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Cinderella, The Lion King, Hercules..." Blake read off as he looked from video to video. He then looked up at me with a suspicious look on his face. "This wouldn't have anything to do with what Mona was saying today, does it?"
"What?" I gasped, feigning innocence. "Of course not!"
Blake didn't look like he believed me, but he wasn't going to comment on it again. I kind of wanted him to though, because I wanted him to see that I wasn't happy with the fact that he had dated Mona. But I had no right to be angry. It was in the past, before I had even met either of them. I was just... uncomfortable. And I was angry with the fact that I was uncomfortable more than anything else.
But something just wasn't right between the two of them, as if they had unfinished business or something. I wanted to know, but at the same time, I didn't. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to pry. Prying usually got me into bad situations before.
I shook my head, forgetting these thoughts for the moment as I snuggled up to Blake's side after starting up the first movie, knowing that this was where I felt happy and safe from everything going on around me.
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So... this is ridiculously late. I know, and I'm sorry. I've just had a lot of crap going on lately. I was really sick for like two weeks, and then my phone got stolen.
The outline for this story, along with my stories Beauty and the Beat and Managing Boys were on my phone. I usually write my outlines on my iPod, but for some reason I felt like writing it on my phone. That was obviously a bad decision considering now they're all gone.
Luckily, this chapter was mostly written before my phone was stolen. I still know what's going to happen and all, but it's really difficult to remember what order things happen in. I only had up to chapter eighteen in the outline, but the first twenty chapters are always the hardest for me.
Sorry for complaining. It's just that now this story's gotten even more difficult for me to write. But I'm going to keep writing. I'm not going to give up on it. :)