T H I R T Y F I V E (⚠️)
(TW: This chapter contains violence that might trigger some readers.)
"So what do you think?" Ian asked. A weird smile slowly grew on his face making my stomach turn as images of him on top of me the day of the attack flooded my head.
Now that my daughter was no longer in danger, I finally took a good look at him.
Aside from the noticeable physical changes like his long unkept beard and slimmer figure, I couldn't help but notice how sick and mentally unstable he actually looked. It was as if the Ian I once knew no longer existed. Something about that sent cold shivers up and down my spine.
"Think about what?"
Ian opened his arms wide and walked around the mostly empty space of what could potentially be a living room. The area was all large windows and hardwood floors. "I know it's empty and needs a bit of work here and there and definitely a lot of color because it is a bit bland, but it's the house you always talked about."
Once upon a time, when I was still under Ian's love-sick spell, I imagined living in a big open space house with the traditional white fence and a vast field where our kids could run and play with our two dogs as much as their hearts desired.
I always saw myself sitting on a porch swing rubbing my pregnant stomach, watching Ian playing with our firstborn in the yard, their laughs bringing a big smile to my face.
Now the mere thought made me want to throw up. Those dreams were long gone and forgotten in a corner of my mind to never be seen again.
"I think you are getting the wrong idea here, Ian. I came for my daughter, not to rekindle what I thought you and I once had." I said, carefully watching my words, waiting for an explosive response from him, but instead, he shook his head and grabbed my forearm.
"Come."
Either he ignored what I said, or he was delusional. He continued showing me the rest of the house like he hadn't been rejected seconds before.
It seemed pretty bizarre how this man showed me each room enthusiastically as if nothing horrible had happened between us.
As if he didn't lie or use me for years, all while he already had all of the things he keeps going on about with another woman. As if he didn't try to kill me with his bare hands while I desperately begged him to stop almost a year ago.
Even after all this time, there were still moments when I abruptly woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, desperately gasping for air. No matter how much Evan tried to calm me down and reassure me that I was safe, I could still feel Ian's hands wrapped around my neck, tightening the more I tried to tell him to please let me go.
"The kitchen is one of my favorite parts of this house. I can see you baking in it for the kids' birthday parties and the holidays. I know how much you love doing that." He beamed. Yeah, he definitely has lost it.
"Ian, you need to stop," Shaking my head in disbelief, I managed to get my arm out of his grip. "We both know that this won't ever happen. This dream has been dead for years, and you need to accept that just like I have."
And just like that, I could see and feel something in him switching. His smile turned into a straight line, clearly having lost his patience with me.
Forcing myself to meet his eyes, I took a small step back at the sudden furious look in his icy blue eyes.
Without warning, he slapped me across my face with such force that I stumbled back. Before I could lose my balance and hit the ground, I quickly managed to hold onto the closest wall to steady myself.
"You see what you make me do?" He inquired, gently wiping the blood from my bottom lip with his thumb. "I don't want to hit you like this, but you are giving me no choice, Aggie. Why can't you, for once, let us be happy together like we deserve?"
I stayed quiet.
As tears rose in my eyes, I did not dare to look at him again. I could feel my hands shaking uncontrollably, knowing I was on the verge of a breakdown, but I tried to hold myself together.
If I had learned anything in my therapy sessions, it definitely was that there was no way I could let my abuser see how much power he still had over me. Even after years had passed, and as much as I hate to admit it out loud, Ian still had some control over me that I couldn't entirely take back, no matter how hard I tried. The thought of it infuriated me because the weakness I felt when I was near him was shameful and repulsive.
"I'm sorry, Aggie, but you must watch your mouth, especially when you say things you don't really mean." He added, caressing my cheek with his rough fingers.
Not wanting to be touched by him, I moved my face and took another step back. I wanted-no, I needed to get out of here. I eyed how far I was from the front door, but before I could run for it, Ian reacted quicker than I did, grabbing a fistful of my hair and pulling my head back with force, making me cry in pain.
"If you-if you really love me, then why are you doing this to me?" I asked through gritted teeth. "If you really did love me like you say you do, you would let me go."
He pulled on my hair harder, throwing me to the ground. I winced after my hipbone made contact with the wooden floor. As I tried to pull myself to my knees, I felt Ian's shoe hitting my stomach, knocking the air right out of my lungs. Curling up on the floor, I tried to take deep breaths through the searing pain I felt.
Part of me knew what I was getting into when I made a deal with him earlier over the phone. Still, another part of me, a foolish part, was hoping that he wouldn't turn into the monster he turned into last time because I was not emotionally stable enough to experience that nightmare again, yet here we were.
"Let you go so you can run right into his arms?" Ian laughed, turning me onto my back with his foot before kicking me again. "I rather kill you than let him have you, Agatha." He added, taking something out of his back pocket.
I held my breath at the sight of his gun. Believing he did not have a weapon earlier was another stupid assumption I made.
Ian: 2. Agatha: 0.
"Buckley doesn't deserve a woman like you, Aggie. You see, guys like him aren't for the long run regarding relationships. They prefer to sleep around rather than wife up an amazing woman like you. He did cheat on you after all with that redhead, didn't he?"
"Do you even hear yourself, Ian? In your head, you have created this sort of fantasy that simply isn't true. What we had was not true. It was all fake from the very beginning, and you, out of everyone, should know that." I said, struggling to breathe. It really didn't feel like it, but I silently prayed that he hadn't broken any of my ribs. "The image you have of Evan is also wrong. He might've made some mistakes, but unlike you, he owned up to them and is trying to fix his mistakes. And for the record, he is the type to wife me up. We are getting married by the end of this year."
Ian's cold blue eyes turned into anger as he seemed to lose the small amount of self-control he had left and proceeded to beat me. He slapped, punched, and kicked whatever part of my body he could find ignoring my screams and attempts of pushing him away.
I wasn't scared of death. After losing my mom, my best friend, and two of my babies, death didn't seem like such a bad idea. A part of me died along with them, making death seem at times like the only possible way to find some sort of peace now that they weren't here with me.
What I was really afraid of was never seeing Evan and Maia again. They have given my life a different meaning, and the thought of at least not getting a chance to say goodbye and remind them of how much I love them sent me into a frantic state.
The intense rage I felt earlier when I knew it was Ian, who dared to take my daughter from me, suddenly reappeared. The anger seemed to swallow me whole, completely blinding me as I found some strength in my body to do something instead of staying on the ground motionless.
Without any fear whatsoever, I tackled Ian to the ground with me. I heard a distant thud as Ian's gun fell to the ground somewhere around us. Letting the rage that coursed through my body take control, I punched Ian repeatedly wherever I could exactly as he was doing to me, ignoring the intense pain I felt in my hands.
I was letting out all the anger and pain he had caused me throughout the years. I hit him for making me fall in love with him when he had no intention of loving me back. For making a fool out of me in front of all our coworkers and friends. For making me hate myself for so long that I pushed the people I loved away. For all the damage he had caused in me emotionally, not knowing if I'll ever be back to my old self again before I met him.
Barely conscious, Ian pushed me aside with force, trying to reach for the gun that I finally noticed was not that far away from us. I watched him wrap his hand around it, but I wrestled him for it before he could point it at me. The gun went off twice until I fully took it from him.
Getting on my knees, I pointed the gun at him. The look of shock yet indifference on Ian's face infuriated me even more. "I hope you rot in hell." I cursed as I rested a finger on the trigger, my hands shaking uncontrollably. I was not thinking straight.
"Go ahead. Press the trigger. Do it!" Ian dared, spitting up blood. His eyes watched my hands as he laughed. "Stop lying to yourself. We both know you don't have it in you because you are a coward, Agatha."
"You did this to me. You killed and drained the little amount of happiness I had in my life." My finger tightened on the trigger, tears and sweat clouding my vision. "I hate you!"
"Aggs, please put the gun down. Killing him won't make you feel better." I heard Evan say from somewhere behind me. "Please. This isn't you." I thought I had come to the point where I was hallucinating until warm hands wrapped around my shaking ones, and slowly they lowered the gun until it was no longer in my hands.
I heard multiple footsteps and felt quick movements around me as I stared at the blood splattered all over the floor where Ian had been lying a couple of seconds ago. I wasn't sure if all that blood was Ian's or a combination of his with mine. Blood had been coming out of my mouth since the last kick Ian gave to my stomach, but I was too filled with anger to pay any attention to it. If I was bleeding that badly that could only mean that I had internal damage.
I hiccuped a cry at the realization of what I was about to do if Buck hadn't stopped me. I was so blinded by rage and hate that I almost killed the first person I ever loved.
"You're okay, baby. It's ok. It's over." Evan wrapped his arms around me after I dropped to the floor, letting the exhaustion, pain, and guilt take over my body. I sobbed for all the pain I have gone through in these past years and the nightmare of the day I had to face today. "Shh, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay. I love you." Evan murmured against my hair.
Something in me told me I could finally be at peace again before everything around me turned black.